Two faces. Always two of him.
Always screaming. Always calling for help.
Always two of him.
Ginny pulled herself into a sitting position, panting hard, heart pounding. She glanced around the room, calming down when she realised the only other person there was Hermione.
At first Ginny didn't quite remember how she gotten into bed with Hermione, until all of last night flooded back to her. Ginny squeezed her eyes shut, trying hard to blank it out before all those feelings overwhelmed her. She just about managed it.
Hermione was curled onto her side facing Ginny. Her face was creased with worry and stress, it was clear she was not having a good deep sleep. Ginny watched as Hermione began to mumble in her sleep, shaking her head softly. She placed her hand on her friends shoulder and slowly shook.
"Hermione?" Ginny whispered. "Hermione, wake up."
The brunette flew up into a sitting position, her head whipping around the room so fast Ginny was worried she may have given herself whiplash. When her eyes met Ginny's her demeanor changed immediately from alert to concerned.
"Hey," Hermione whispered. "You okay?"
Ginny didn't answer.
"People will be waking up soon," said Hermione still whispering.
Ginny just stared through the window. The sky outside had changed from almost black to a deep blue with patches of lilac in the far distance. The thought of returning back to normality after last night was heart breaking for Ginny. She wanted to stay here and let things just continue around her without her participation.
Everything was numb.
It felt like hours before she finally mustered up the energy to shake her head at Hermione.
"I can't," her voice was croaky, raspy. Most likely from all the screaming from the night before. "I can't... not today." She felt a small tear come from the corner of her eye and wiped it away harshly, frustrated that she was crying again.
"Gin, I don't know if it's sensible to miss lessons today," said Hermione. "He will notice. Professors will notice. Your friends will notice."
"What friends?" Ginny snorted softly.
It suddenly occurred to Hermione, she wasn't sure who Ginny's friends were. Who did she spend her time with normally. She seemed to be one of those girls that just flitted about between different groups, but never quite slotting into one group neatly.
Hermione hesitated. What was better? Let her have a day to recoup, or force her out of this depression to carry on? Ginny had curled back into the blankets they were both still wrapped in.
Finally, she decided a few more hours wouldn't hurt. She pulled the blanket over Ginny and herself. They both were curled into a fetal position facing each other. Hermione lent forward and pressed her forehead against Ginny's forehead. The redhead opened her eyes and for a second Hermione saw everything. The pain, the hurt, the guilt... and the fire. What she saw was so brief and short-lived before the emptiness reappeared she almost thought she imagined it.
They stayed there like that for a while. Staring into eachother eyes. Finding comfort in their shared pain. Ginny didn't want to say anything anymore to anyone ever again. No one would understand this. No one would understand what it felt like, to go back again and again to this torture. To feel immense guilt for wanting to escape, for wanting to not go back, even if it means her family may die.
No one apart from Hermione. And maybe Ron and Harry.
She felt an colassal amount of recognition of strength towards the other girl. This girl who has dealt with this all of last year, kept it hidden, kept up this facade. Still getting good grades, still helping Harry through whatever had happened with Sirius Black all the while dealing with trauma from her dad being murdered and having to deal with whatever Malfoy put her through.
She was the bravest person Ginny knew. Ginny reached up and pushed some hair behind Hermione's ear. The older girl smiled at her softly, briefly before closing her eyes and allowing a quick tear to escape her eye. Hermione opened her eyes again and pressed a delicate kiss to Ginny's forehead. She found her hand and gave it a short squeeze, before beginning to stand.
She paused at the edge of the bed and turned her head to glance back at Ginny. She looked quizzically for a second at the small girl, before Ginny heard a small pop and a Hogwarts uniform appeared on the bed between them. She suddenly remembered that she was naked and a blush slowly crept up the back of her neck and warmed her ears and cheeks.
"Do all Weasley's blush as extremely as you and Ron?" Hermione giggled. "If anything I should be the one embarrassed, clearly I was extremely overdressed for this sleepover."
Ginny allowed a brief smile to slide onto her face before glancing down at the uniform and the smile turned into a grimace.
"Let's take this one step at a time, yes?" Hermione said.
Ginny allowed Hermione to lead her into the Great Hall. She strolled behind the other girl, probably looking quite meek but didn't have enough strength in her to care about that. She tugged at her borrowed robes and kept her eyes staring down at the floor. She did not quiet feel like catching eyes with anyone from the Slytherin side of the hall.
Hermione strode infront of her glancing behind her every now and then at the redhead out of the corner of her eye, whilst also looking out for anyone that might trigger Ginny, and finally looking out for her boys. She found them close to the entrance at the end of the table. They were talking in low, what seemed like a prickly conversation. Although when Harry caught sight of her, relief spread across his face immediately and Ron glanced around.
"Thank God," he mumbled his whole body immediately relaxing when Hermione slid in next to him. Ginny slid down next to her opposite Harry. Her eyes were still staring down at the floor but she quickly found Hermione's hand under the table and grasped it. She hadn't spoken a word since they had left the Room of Requirement. Hermione had tried insisting that they should leave seperately, Hermione going out first to make sure the coast was clear. Ginny had looked so panicked at the idea, Hermione immediately dropped the suggestion.
She squeezed Ginny's hand trying to make eye contact with the girl but she kept her eyes solidly glued to the floor. The foursome remained completely silent for another minute. Hermione could feel more than see Harry's eyes on her. She turned to him to see his eyes searching hers, begging for some reassurance or atleast some explanation.
Hermione sometimes thought Harry could read her mind. The way they could communicate without having to say any words was something she loved about their relationship, although she didn't think it was unique to her and Harry. It seemed like Harry could do this with anyone. He caught Hermione's eye and understood this was a particularly bad night. His right hand tightened so much around his fork, Hermione could see all veins stand out against his pale skin. He began to shake his head, Hermione could sense his anger, his outburst about to break.
"Calm down, Harry," Ginny whispered, before Hermione could say anything. Ginny still hadn't looked up, but Hermione guessed she too could sense Harry's anger rather than see it. "Don't make a scene."
Hermione rubbed her thumb along the back of Ginny's hand, offering whatever support she could. This was wrong. All of this was so wrong.
"Ginny-" Ron began. He was red all over his face, not from embarrassment like usual, but with fury.
"Listen, I don't want to hear it," Ginny was staring at the empty plate infront of her. "Your sorries aren't going to fix anything, your anger isn't going to fix anything, your pity isn't going to fix anything. Just drop it okay."
Ginny looked up at them all in the last sentence, before dropping Hermione's hand and grabbing a slice of toast from the stack infront of Hermione. The fire was back in her eyes, that fire she had noticed ever so breifly this morning, but she had also noticed the reluctancy from her friend as she pulled her hand out of Hermione's grasp and the shake in it as she reached for the butter dish. If she hadn't got to know Ginny so closely, so forcefully over the past month she wouldn't have been able to see through the facade at all. But Hermione could tell that was all it was, a facade.
"What are you doing tonight?" Hermione said to Harry. "I need to visit the library, will you come with me?"
Harry nodded his eyes still on Ginny.
"So that leaves me and you then, sis!" Ron said cheerfully, trying his hardest to change the tense atmosphere between them all. "You wanna spend some time with your big bro?"
He leant behind Hermione and gave a playful shove to Ginny on her shoulder, grinning around Hermione at her.
"I don't need to be around one of you all the time, you know?" Ginny said abruptly. "Maybe I want my own space?" Ron's smile slid off his face.
"Yeah, of course," he mumbled his brows furrowed.
The confusion was spalshed all across his face. Bless Ronald Weasley, he had one of the kindest hearts Hermione had ever had the pleasure to come across. He was always trying to hardest to fix whatever broken situations were around him. He had worked so hard to be whatever Hermione needed him to be last year. Her support system, her punching bag... her best friend really. Along with Harry. But something about Ron made her feel safe, really safe. She knew deep down that he could never hurt anyone unless he really had to.
Harry was different in that way, more emotional maybe. Harry's power scared her sometimes. His depth of anger, of protectiveness... it made her feel safe but also at times it scared her. She saw a fire in Harry sometimes, similar to what she saw in Ginny she realised, she knew he would go to extreme lengths and whatever he had to do in order to make everyone safe. She peeked over at Harry to see him still watching Ginny.
And there it was. That fire. That protective simmer. That fierce safeguarding gaze.
"I've got to go to class," Ginny interrupted Hermione's musings. "And, no. I don't need a chaperone."
Ginny looked over at Ron to see that confused, hurt face again and her temper thawed instantly.
"If that offer is still on Ron, maybe we could use that punching thing again tonight?" Harry and Hermione lifted their heads, clearly curious at that comment. But Ginny had stood up and placed her hand on Ron's shoulder, whilst he turned to her with a lopsided smile and nodded.
"Oh, and has anyone got any parchment, quill, ink etcetera that I can borrrow? I haven't got my bag with me and I've got Snape first thing. Just my luck."
Ginny pounded the punching bag. She punched, pounded, kicked and punched again. She could feel the sweat dripping off her back. It felt good. It felt really good.
Her day had gotten a little better than the start. She spent a long time with Luna Lovegood, her friend from Ravenclaw. If anyone could distract you from your own thoughts, it was Luna. Her musings on Hinkypunks spit and how it could help you see in the dark or how Blast-Ended Skrewts are actually meant to be living under water and that is why wizards have such a hard time keeping them as pets, are most definitely enough to keep you occupied.
Ginny had still felt her eyes straying across the room, looking out for what, she wasn't sure. At lunch she decided to sit with Luna and could feel the trio's eyes on her, aswell as two beady eyes from the Slytherin table. She had mostly just pushed about the food on her plate until Luna was done before suggesting they go for a stroll past the lake. She needed to escape the pressure for a little while.
At first, Ron had joined her on his own punching bag. Ginny had watched him out of the corner of her eye. It was clear he was an old hat at this particular hobby. Ron fought with the punching bag with such severity at the beginning that it almost scared her. She felt a little uncomfortable being around someone that aggressive. That was until he caught her watching and gave her a quick smirk.
"C'mon," he shoved her bag closer to her. "You can do better than that."
With Ron spurring her on Ginny began to realise how far she could push her body. Ron showed her a few moves, and Ginny began to improvise adding a few kicks to the series of punches. Ron had even tried to copy her, a little harmless sibling rivalry kicking into play. He wasn't as limber as Ginny though... yet, he had promised laughing.
She punched harder and harder until she be gan to feel pressure in her hand and finally she pulled back to take a breather. Ginny turned to her brother and held out her gloves to him. Ron peeked up once before returning his eyes to the book open in his lap whilst simultaneously undoing her gloves.
"You're done so soon?" he muttered sarcastically.
Ron had watched his sister pummel the bag for the past hour, he had called his time after 40 minutes. He knew that this was helping Ginny focus on something other than the thoughts in her own head. It was the same reason Ron had taken up this particular speciality. It was Harry's idea at first, after all that was going on last year Ron was full of all this pent up anger. He told Harry he need to hit something. Harry told him about this thing that muggles do where they punch a stationary object so they can learn how to punch a person. It made no sense to him, but he needed to do something about this anger.
Anger at Malfoy, anger at the situation, anger even at Hermione and Harry, anger at the three of them for not being able to overcome this. As a trio they had overcome some big things... normally by putting themselves in danger, that they were used to. But this. This was bigger than them. It was out of their control. Mostly. They found ways to keep others out of harm, by putting themselves between Malfoy and the rest of the world. Hermione was taking the world on her shoulders, in a way to keep things in their control. Until they could work things out to find a way out of this. Together.
And now Ginny was stuck in the middle, taking the world on her shoulders, so they could keep things in their control. Putting herself between Malfoy and the rest of the world until they could work things out. And they were trying.
"What you reading?" Ginny pulled Ron out of his thoughts.
"Hm? Oh, nothing interesting," he peered up from his book which he quickly closed when she began to lean over, trying to catch a glimpse of the pages. "Feeling any better?"
Ginny rolled her eyes and snorted.
"Yep, 10 out of 10 bro!" she grabbed her flask of pumpkin juice from her bag and took a giant swig before taking the hand towel on the coffee table to wipe the sweat off her forehead. She looked better, Ron thought. More colour in her face, even a smile or two. He was about to ruin it, but he had to talk to her.
"You want to talk about last night, yet?" Ron wasn't looking at her. It was hard to have these kind of conversations with anyone, emotional conversations. He found it difficult getting the words from the feelings in his head. But it was imporant to try, for his sake as well as Ginny's. Her face had slipped back to what he saw this morning when she trailed into the Great Hall behind Hermione. A blank kind of numbness.
"I don't know what to say," she whispered after a very long silence. Ron stayed quiet again allowing Ginny to fill the silence, if she wanted to, but also giving her the space if she didn't.
When it was clear she didn't Ron reached over and placed a hand on her shoulder. They sat like that for a long time staring into the fire, not talking whilst saying more to each other than they ever had.
