Chapter 5: Decisions, Decisions
You know that sensation you experience after a really bad event? That numb blankness ? That was what engulfed Hanna after she escaped the pharmacy. There was no thinking involved as she made her way home vaguely aware of her surroundings.
The static in her mind helped her to ignore the disgusted and surprised looks that passerby's made.
The feeling of exposed skin on her arms told her why. But she didn't care she felt tired. So inexplicably tired.
Every step she took felt oddly light as if any moment now a gust of wind would carry her away. The only thing that kept her anchored was the small rectangular piece of paper in her hands. It was so small yet it was so heavy.
It wasn't until she was halfway home did the weight of what just happened clicked in. Passerby and stray animals alike jumped in fright as they watch a dingy looking lady grab handfuls of her uncombed unwashed hair and scream. It was a shrill ear bleeding type of scream. Hanna felt sick. And scared.
Mostly scared , definitely frightened.
A villain offered her the number to the most elusive living nightmare. For help. Yeah, that's right a villain who although not as nightmarish as his boss was more terrifying in her opinion wanted to help .
" Rule number one Han's" her ex-villain friend said as they shared lunch together one afternoon after a rather confusing day of work for her. She had just finished busting a bank robbery that she almost screwed up cause one of the bad guys was someone she helped earlier, " Don't help a villain , better yet don't accept their help for people like us would only use you not caring if we screw you over"
"But what if they're nice like you?"
He nearly choked on his sandwich behind the dark bag he wore mostly so people don't recognize the villain family he came from. " One , don't you fucking dare call me 'nice' ever again , and Two villains don't do nice, we can play nice to gain your trust so we can screw you over big time"
" Here's a tip " She smirked as she let him steal more of her fries , " The nicer a villain acts towards you, the more they want to use you"
Hanna felt a ghost of a smile as she remembered her friends advice. But it quickly turned into a frown, a sharp pain in heart. She remembered him , her only friend at the association. He was the only one who made her feel…right.
Like she wasn't a mistake. She met him in the academy , the only ex-villain turned hero. Even through she was related to the schools Angel , she was an outcast. No , even the social outcast's avoided her like the plague. The Academy for Heroes accepted anyone , no matter of their backgrounds but that didn't stop some rumors spreading.
And sadly the rumors had some inkling of truth.
She was dangerous. So when she met him she felt, happy that someone besides her sister accepted her.
But maybe like her he though she was a monster too.
Again she let out another scream. Instead of fear this was more of a mix of embarrassment and confusion .Why on earth did she ask that villain to kill her?! Yes, she never had the guts to actually go through with any attempts. However seeing that charred mangled corpse of another person just broke her.
No matter how good she was, …
"Murderer"
" Yesterday Kyle Langley died in the St. Martha's hospital due-"
"Evil! That child is evil!"
No matter how hard she tired…
"Did you hear what she did to Kyle?"
"Angela how can you stand her?"
"She should just give up on being a hero"
No matter how nice she was…
"Ew! That Freak talked to me!"
" Why are you so creepy sis?!
"Hey didn't you kill a someone?"
Silently she turned over her hands giving them a look. Once upon a time her tan hands used to be hard with callouses . Rough from work on machines. Stained with the black lifeblood of equipment. However nobody else saw the stains of blood on them.
Nobody but her.
Nothing would be able to get rid of the blood on her hands.
Nothing at all.
" Ma'am are you alright?" Hanna jumped out of her skin , jolted out of her dark self-hating thoughts as a friendly looking policewoman asked. She had a worried expression on her weathered face. Concern written all over her ice-blue eyes. Hanna couldn't help but wince at how nice this stranger's kindness felt. "Y-yeah, I'm fine sorry"
The police officer , concern still furrowing her brow just nodded, "You be careful okay ma'am there's a lot of villains around lately". Hanna watched as she walked away her stomach stiffening at her pity.
A sharp growl snapped her out. Her long forgotten stomach howled with fury. She winced at the spike of pain in her stomach. She never had much of an appetite. Usually she had to set reminders to eat throughout the day. Otherwise she would forgot to eat. Now that she out she should get something, thankfully she made sure to scout out a soup kitchen.
Maybe if she had something to eat , it'll help her to think on a full stomach. Making up her mind arms crossed she trekked through her neighborhood. The neighborhood she took shelter in appeared abandoned. At daytime it was emptier than a convince store during the night shift.
As she walked she mentally listed all the repairs she needed done. ' Wait do I really need to stay?' Shivers ran down her spine thinking of the villain. Although he seemed kind(?), she did not miss that crazy look in his eyes. She may as well have been a rare specimen on a dissecting table.
She could leave . It wasn't hard she didn't had any things to pack. Hanna was used to hitch hiking. Or sitting with hobo's on trains. But she didn't want to leave. She worked really hard in running away from her hometown, she spent four months making a raft so she can get off her island base.
This place town in southern Mexico was actually comfortable.
Besides, she wouldn't put it past the villain to have a way to track her down. Not wanting to dwell on it , she switched to another concern : money. Her pills got charred and the ones she stole got crushed.
"Maybe I should take Ricky up on his offer" Her hurting stomach rolled at that idea. Ricky was one of the other tenants. He lived a floor below her, cooking up various kinds of drugs. Meth mainly but also crack .
Selling drugs in her opinion , was far more awful than turning tricks. Not that she was good looking enough to even consider it, but still. Contributing to the drug problem or getting caught was not worth it. Then again she was desperate. She needed money to get new clothes at least a few outfits so she could go to job interviews.
That was hoping that they would see her. Then again she caught the interest of an mad scientist. If she was going to live the rest of her life in fear, she rather it be a villain than the law. She did not want her sister nor her ex to find out she was still alive. She was so busy contemplating her life choices , that she veered off course.
The scenery changed from degrading warehouses, to somewhat less shady looking storefronts
It wasn't until she passed an electronics store that she realized she made a mistake in directions. But the small crowd around the store peeked her curiosity. The store had television sets on display in the windows. They made a small wave of nostalgia wash over her. She remembered walking past stores like these as a child. First with her parents, then with her sister.
Those were peaceful times before the disaster.
The crowd consisted mostly of the elderly , and a few people who couldn't afford a tv set. Only a few glared as she approached , so she felt oddly at ease. She stood there as she watched funny commercials on the multiple screens. Her eyes drifted to one screen. The image on it caused her breath to stop.
Underneath her bangs her eyes flashed between anger and hurt; on the screen in the center was her sister her charming grin flashing white as she draped lovingly on a buff arm. Her black eye mask made her eyes look sharper than before, as she gazed up at the man she was draped upon. The man looked more heroic than the deceased Magma-man.
Time seemed to stop for Hanna as blood rushed to her ears. Slowly the same image popped up on other screens, the manager switching the channel. She knew this channel , she new the talk show host who walked on the stage as the live audience applauded. This show was famous for its amounts of proposals that occurred onstage.
A show that she herself appeared on not so long ago.
Feeling her powers surging she forced her way out of the growing crowd. She forced herself to hold back the tears choking her throat. She felt the hairs on her skin bristle as plasma energy danced on her. 'Not good!' She started to run barely holding herself together, ' Why?! Why did he ? Why would he?'
Why would Goldie marry her sister!? And so soon after her 'death' unless. " …Did-d they plan for this?" Much as she would want to believe it wasn't true , her blood ran cold. Why wouldn't he? He's a big-time hero the poster child for the Association, marrying someone like him was too much for Hanna. They fought a lot with Hanna being left in a puddle of tears , and bruises.
He may have been a hero but she knew what he was like.
Her 'death' happened two weeks before she was going to break off their engagement. Officially she might add.
"Heroes only caring for themselves!" She breathed hugging the wall in a hidden alley. She had ducked into here to collect her thoughts. She never gave herself that much credit as a hero, her role was more like a sidekick at best. But still she worked hard, not for glory for justice. What a fool. She was such a fool.
As she felt her heart calm down she took out the card. Through blurry tears she saw her disfigured hand tremble. She remembered watching a recording of the news report, on the day she obtained these scars.
Beloved by all? What a joke ! Love Arrow was snubbed by family , by friends. She was always looked down upon by everyone including the man she loved. She remembered the look of pity on the cops face. Another face feeling sorry for her. The only person that she thought her friend didn't even try looking for her . Yes, she could be blamed for not trying to contact them but…
" I hate this" She hissed her hand that held the card started to glow. The card was bathed in bright colored light for a split second before catching fire. Quickly she put it out.
At this point in her life Hanna Rivera had a very important decision to make : become a puppet for most vile creature in the world or let her sister do this. She wished that someone anyone would think it strange that Golden Heart moved on so quickly from Love Arrow. But Hanna knew the only reason why people mourned her was that she was a hero.
No one cared if you were a good person in this world. Hero society worked a lot like high school drama, it was more about power. Of course Hanna did not know this until it was too late.
Maybe…Maybe being a villain will be better than a hero?
Hopefully it could be different from Hero society.
Could it be?
