Chapter 1 – Loss of Love
A/N: This is going to be a bit angsty and hurt/comfort. I've written a few oneshots for these two, but I think it's time I started a longer project for them so that's why I'm writing this. Fair warning that the first chapter won't be pretty, my apologies.
Triggers: Near death experience, sort of canon death, grief, slight violence, grieving, mourning, crying and swearing.
Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel or any characters, places or trademarks.
Loki knew that it was utterly hopeless for Earth when Thanos asked his children to go to Earth and find the rest of the infinity stones. However, he had a plan in place. After all, he was the god of mischief. He approached Thanos after speaking, "If you're going to Earth, you'll need a guide. I have experience." Thanos looked at him and replied blandly, "Do you consider failure experience?" Loki blinked, "I consider experience experience." Thanos simply looked at him for a moment. Knife in hand and shifting his powers, the Norn stones safely tucked into his pocket and expertly hidden, he replied, ""Almighty Thanos, I, Loki, Prince of Asgard...Odinson" he looked his brother in the eyes, he knew he needed to make the theatrics of this hit well, for his brother to believe him dead. His heart stabbed in pain when he thought of what Tony would go through, but once everything had settled, he would go and find his love, all would be right if he made this look real. He looked back at Thanos and continued, "Rightful King of Jotunheim, God of Mischief, do hereby pledge to you, my undying fidelity." With that, he stabbed Thanos with his dagger. However, Thanos looked at him blandly as he replied, "Undying? You should choose your words more carefully." He picked him up by the throat and strangled him. Loki heard Thor's anguished cries, guilt washing over him for what he was doing to his brother and his lover, but it must be done. For if they believed him to be dead, when they defeated Thanos and hopefully, if his plan worked out properly. He knew of few things… One – that he had conferred with Stephen, formally known as Doctor Strange what the future entailed in return for teaching him a few powerful spells of no real importance to Loki, but he needed to know the path ahead. He saw Tony's misery, it almost killed him to see, but he gritted his teeth through it and watched at the idea of the time heist, the destruction of the world by Thanos hand and that he and Tony would have chance to meet up again, should he die he would be fine, there would be an alternate timeverse of himself on a different timeline. So, he'd set up a message for himself via a complex spell that would send a specific message to him. Two, that he loved Anthony Edward Stark more than life and would do come what may in order for the chance to be happy with him. Three; that he had discovered a spell to let himself appear in dreams, of which he intended to visit his beloved inventor in to explain what had actually happened. After all, he was the god of mischief, lies and deception. He could pull this off. He would succeed this 'failure' to kill Thanos. The message he'd sent to himself was quite simple – "Loki, prince of Asgard, it is yourself speaking, from a differing timeline. When you are in irons with the Tesseract in a briefcase, you will see Anthony Stark from the future. We had just started our courting about a month before you will receive this, so you will know of what I speak to be true. In the future, we are dead. You are going to fix this error. I have taken the liberty of infusing this message with two powerful spells, of which will come with the Norm stones. Donotuse them for yourself. The plan is as follows; when this message is through, a spell will appear in your brain, use it wisely – it needs to be perfect before you use it. It will allow you to protect Stark and let the plan go in motion, there is another to allow you to visit dreams. When the memories of the plan appear in your mind, they will be infused with the spells, you shall know what to do. Fare thee well and do as I say." He knew that Thor wouldn't be in Asgard anytime soon, captured and all as it were, which is why that's the very place he teleported to with the last of his energy.
He used his sorcery to send a final message to his love, taking out the phone Tony had given him, spelled for coverage, 'Anthony, I love you. I will likely be dead by Thanos' hand when you read this. I cannot return, but I have a plan. Worry not. I adore you and we shall meet again; I swear it.' He reached his room where he had a container for his body, should anything ever happen to him. He levitated himself slowly into it, a text message being the last thing his green eyes ever saw, 'You stupid bastard! I knew it was a bad idea for you to go there. Can't you heal? Like rest or fucking something? I CAN'T lose you, dammit charmer! I hope you know what you're doing, dipshit because if I don't see you again, I will haunt your ass. I love you forever, baby.'
Back on Earth, Tony was crushed, literally and otherwise, staring blankly at his phone after sending the message. The one person he loved more than any other in the whole universe, was dead. He took off his Iron Man suit, got into some pyjamas and curled up into a ball on the couch to try and figure this chaotic mess out. He knew now that Loki had a plan. He didn't know that he would be visited in dreams by his lover, so he didn't sleep as long as he could manage to. He stayed there for a day or two before calling Thor, who was now back on Earth and also feeling utterly horrific for what happened, but he was blaming himself for what happened. Tony waited for Thor to pick up the phone, tapping his fingers against the coffee table as to himself. He was dying. Or at least that's what it felt like. Thor eventually picked up the phone, but Tony didn't even try to make small talk. He just asked straight out, "Are we sure he's dead? He did this before, remember? When we started dating." Thor had looked down at the ground, this was a video call after all, he nodded sullenly, replying quietly, "He's dead, friend Stark." Tony bit his lip and sucked in a breath. He felt his heart ache with the recognition that his lover was now dead for sure, despite the messages that he'd received, likely his dying act. He asked JARVIS with need in his voice, "Jarv, search for any possible sign that Loki could be alive." JARVIS replied, "Scanning, sir. No records found. I'm sorry sir, it appears that he's gone."
He let out a strangled gasp, his boyfriend was dead. Sure, he'd said that they'd been again, but he'd been cryptic about it and now Tony was scared and stressed. He hung up the phone and scrubbed his face with his hands. His hilarious, long-haired sultry god of mischief was dead. He thought violently, 'If I find a way to the stones, Thanos better pray to something because he'ssofucked if I ever find him.' He eventually passed out from exhaustion and melancholy, not even under the covers. He was already cold without the warmth of his taller boyfriend, so it didn't matter much else what happened, truth be told, in his eyes. After all, now that the charming trickster was dead, he didn't actually care what happened to him. He got dressed for bed - a black shirt of Loki's that had been nearly folded in his side of the bed with shorts. He got into bed but felt a wave of grief encircle him, there was no tall, flirty sorcerer lying beside him. The bed felt empty and cold, so he sighed, got up and wrapped the covers around him snugly. After a week or two of drunken misery and insomnia, Pepper came by with coffee, ice cream and whiskey. She patters his back gently, "I heard. I'm sorry, Tony. I know that you loved him. Your son wants to see you. I picked him up from school." He nodded, going outside to the car, where his was. Peter's eyes looked puffy and red. He got out the car and hugged him tightly, "Mr. Stark… Dad, I'm so sorry!" Tony hugged him back, a fresh bout of tears streaming down his face as he croaked, "It's okay, kid. Come in. I'll get you some orange juice or something." Peter nodded, walking onside with him. He sat in the living room, hugging Peter close on the couch. About two weeks before Loki died, Peter had been adopted by Tony and was legally now Peter Stark. He awkwardly asked as he looked up into the other brown-eyed man's gaze, "Hey, um…Dad?" Tony rested his head on the teen's soft dark hair, "Yes, Peter?" he replied. Peter asked, biting on his lip and chewing it as he softly spoke, "Y'know how Loki was your boyfriend?" A strangled gasp let Tony's throat, but he gulped and cleared it to ask, stuttering slightly, "Y-yeah? We were in a secret relationship. Only a couple people knew. Why do you ask?" he moved to look down at the boy. Peter shuffled for a moment before asking, "Well, if you adopted me and asked me to call you 'dad'… Was Loki my other dad?" Tony's heart ached painfully at that, clenching in his chest as he replied, "He sure was." softly. Peter clenched his jaw, gripping tightly to the older superhero as he spoke, voice quiet but determined, "Then we can grieve together." Tony shook his head, pulling away from the hug to nod, "No, kid. He would have anted us to keep fighting." Peter bit his lip but nodded, "You have a point. Okay. Um, can I sat here?" he looked down at the ground. A few months ago, in a freak accident, his Aunt May had been tragically killed, he'd stayed with Happy and Pepper Potts, most Pepper ever since. He'd been absolutely torn up about it, but of course, Tony and Loki had helped them through it, saying that they were his guardians now. Tony looked down at him and quirked an eyebrow, "Kid, you're my son. Of course." Peter merely offered him a sad smile and gritted his teeth but swallowed to ask, "Could I ask where my room is so I can try get some sleep? I, uh…couldn't last night."
Tony chuckled bitterly, pushing his own grief aside to see to the kid so he nodded, "Sure. Come on, I hope you don't mind but it's red and blue." The future owner of Stark Enterprise nodded, "Thanks. Red and blue is obviously fine, dad." Tony softly smiled a bit, nodding, "Get some shut eye, Peter. …We'll try go do something together tomorrow. He'd want that. Maybe a movie or something… Or, shit, if you have school, it's fine." Peter squeezed his shoulder gently, "Thanks, dad. Nope, it's summer holidays. I'd like that. …Maybe we could stay here and watch something?" Tony gave him the ghost of a smirk, "Oh good. Hm, never did quite have that Star Wars marathon, did we?" Peter grinned, "That would be amazing!" He chuckled, ruffling Peter's hair, "Night, kid." He walked towards his own room, deciding he'd better get something to eat, if Loki was here, he'd have killed him for not eating until now, it was almost eleven at night, but he couldn't care less. He went to the fridge and made a sandwich and some coffee. He needed to try and stay on his feet if nothing for the kid's sake. It would be hard, but he'd be damned if he would live like some depressed layabout. Loki would have his ass if he so much as tried.
So, he didn't – instead, he asked the AI that was installed so it could function in any room of the house, "JARVIS, get up one of the videos I took of Lo." The AI replied, "With all due respect, sir. Is that advisable?" Tony sighed and replied softly, "Nope. Just…please Jarv. Ineedto see him." The AI took pity on him and replied, "Very well sir." A video started to play on the pastel grey almost silver wall facing his bed, it was one of their happier memories together. He'd taken a ton of videos of him and the god of mischief, most of which the Asgardian didn't even know he was being filmed. In the video, they were snuggled close on the bed, Loki speaking softly to him and asking how his day had been at work. Tony let the tears slip down his face and went to sleep under the guise of living in that memory to try and keep himself from wondering what there was left to stay breathing for.
