Erased/Boku dake ga Inai Machi
KayoXSatoru
Chapter 2: Waiting At The Christmas Tree
The girl could still remember the day that their teacher, Mr. Yashiro, walked into the classroom, a solemn look on his face as he told the entire class that Satoru had been involved in a terrible murder attempt and that his murderer had escaped. She couldn't remember having ever cried so hard in her entire life as she collapsed to the ground in the middle of the class, curling into the fetal position as she screamed so hard her body shook. She remembered Misato getting up and helping her up as she grabbed her bag and coat, running from the room as fast as her legs would carry her.
It can't be true! she thought to herself as she ran. She ran as quickly as she could and, before she knew it, she was at his door, pounding away on the door as she screamed his name over and over again, until, suddenly, the door opened and she collapsed into Sachiko, who looked down at the young girl who'd collapsed into her and stroked her hair, gently, trying to show the girl strength as she herself was nearly too broken inside to even consider going outside. As she tried to console the girl, Kayo was up and running through the small home, yelling for Satoru, telling him to come out and stop playing this game.
"Kayo," Sachiko had said, her voice soft but stern at the same time, causing Kayo to look at her, truly look at her, since she'd arrived.
"It can't be true," Kayo said, weakly, her knees collapsing from beneath her as she fell down onto her back. "He can't be in the hospital. I promised him I'd see him today! We made a promise to see each other again!"
With that, the girl used what little strength she had to curl back into the fetal position and cry in the middle of the floor, next to the futon where he'd slept the night they'd all spent together here. She could still smell his familiar scent from the bedding, which was still lain out on the floor from the night before when he'd been home last.
"Satoru," Kayo whispered as she closed her eyes again and fell asleep from the exhaustion on the floor beside the futon.
The next day, Kayo awoke to find herself in Sachiko's house still and the sound and smell of breakfast being made by Sachiko. She began to smile as she sat up, rubbing her eyes, before her memory rushed back to her and she froze, there, holding her knees to her chest as the tears began to flow again. As she began to sob aloud, Sachiko walked into the bedroom and knelt down in front of the girl, heavy bags showing under the woman's eyes as it became apparent to Kayo that she hadn't been sleeping since the accident.
As the two sat, silently supporting one another through their hardship, Sachiko gently wrapped her arms around the girl, holding her close to her chest as she rocked back and forth, resting her chin on top of the girl's head.
"Shhhh..." she whispered to her, feeling the fresh tears beginning to roll down her cheeks onto Kayo's head as her face contorted into sheer agony while she held back the sobs.
Together, the woman and the girl cried in each other's arms for nearly half an hour, rocking gently back and forth and clinging to each other for dear life.
After the long cry-fest, Sachiko brought the girl to the table where she'd prepared rice, eggs and bacon for breakfast, which were all slightly cold from how long they'd waited to come get them, but both ate the food without complaint. As soon as they were done, Kayo helped her get through the dishes before she went to the bedroom and laid out the blankets on the futon again.
"Kayo," Sachiko said softly to the young girl, who was preparing to put on her boots and go home.
"Yes ma'am?" Kayo replied, looking over her shoulder at the older woman.
"Do you want to come with me?" she asked, knowing full-well the answer, even before the girl bolted over to her.
"Yes! Yes!" she screamed, not caring how embarrassing she looked at the moment with one boot half tied and her coat on the opposite sleeve, as well as she hadn't brushed her hair yet. "Please! I'll do anything to go see him."
"Alright," Sachiko said with a sad smile. "Go get cleaned up and leave your boots by the door until we are about to leave."
"Yes ma'am!" the girl shouted, hanging her coat by the door and dropping her boot with the other one in the rack by the door before bolting to the bathroom and brushing her hair and brushed her teeth, after Sachiko gave her a new toothbrush that she had 'just in case'.
After the two had cleaned up, Kayo couldn't contain her anxiety as they walked to the bus stop and throughout the entire bus ride. Sachiko would occasionally put a reassuring hand on her shoulder, but this helped little as Kayo mentally prepared herself to see Satoru again. She couldn't help the tears as they came and she held back the sobs as best she could.
Within an hour ride, and more than a dozen stops in between, they found themselves standing before a very amazing hospital. Kayo, who would normally have been in awe, simply stood at the crosswalk with Sachiko, silently waiting for the "Walk" light to turn green.
The journey to the building from the bus stop and inside to the room passed in a blur as Kayo and Sachiko moved with intent. Kayo could sense Sachiko's tension in the air around her and she found herself fearing for the worst as they suddenly found themselves standing before door 315. The nameplate read 'Satoru Fujinuma' and Kayo found herself taking in a deep breath and swallowing back a lump in her throat as Sachiko opened the door.
The scene before her made a catch in her throat as she saw Satoru, connected to an oxygen system that forced him to breath and a feeding system. She saw the wrapping on his head and heard the steady beeping of the heart-rate monitor but it all quickly died away as she looked upon the boy who'd saved her life, now only inches away from death, himself.
"Satoru..." she said softly, walking slowly towards the bed, uncertain if the world was going to spin uncontrollably and she'd be sucked into a new dimension or, even, wake up and find this all to be one horrible nightmare. However, as she approached the bed and reached out, feeling his ice cold hands against hers, she knew this wasn't a nightmare, but a horrifying reality.
Sachiko watched Kayo tentatively reach out for her son's hand and take it in hers, smiling sadly as the tears came forward. As she watched, Kayo got down on her knees beside his bed, clinging to his hand in both of hers as she began to sob uncontrollably, calling his name out in between sobs over and over.
From that day forward, Kayo began to tirelessly search for ways to help Satoru when she wasn't in school. She convinced her grandmother to allow her to spend every school day evening at the hospital with him. Then, she convinced the other students, which took little effort, to begin a fund raiser for him. She worked tirelessly for two weeks to begin the process and get Mr. Yashiro to allow her to start doing the fund raiser on school grounds.
About a week into this work, however, she walked into the hospital after school to visit him, as she spent every weekday evening doing. As she was about to turn down the hallway to his room, she overheard an older doctor speaking with Sachiko and she froze as she listened, her heart splitting in two.
"We're very sorry, ma'am," the doctor kept saying over and over again.
"Don't give me that bullshit!" Sachiko shouted, barely able to contain the sobs.
"We're sorry ma'am, but at this stage, he is only being allowed a chance to live by the machinery he is hooked up to," he explained, softly. "He is completely brain dead, according to our MRI results. If we were to take him off the machines, he would surely die. And there's no likely possibility of rec-"
"How dare you give up on him!" Kayo shouted as she came out from around the corner, tears flowing down her cheeks as she stared angrily at the doctor. "He saved my life and others! We can't give up on him!"
Sachiko, surprised by the girl, walked over to her and knelt down to her.
"Kayo, sweetie," she said, softly, brushing the girl's hair from her face before bringing her into a hug. "Thank you for supporting my Satoru, but this is an adult conversation, OK?"
Kayo nodded into her shoulder, still only being able to sob.
"Why don't you go say hi to Satoru, OK, sweetie?" Sachiko said, releasing her from the hug and holding her face in her hands, a sad smile on her face as tears rolled down her cheeks. "I'll stay here and talk to the doctor, while you go cheer Satoru on and keep him happy."
Kayo nodded and walked into the room, solemnly. She closed the door and dropped her backpack before walking to his side again and getting back down on her knees, holding his hand between hers as she cried out, still only able to feel an ice coolness to his flesh as she held his hand.
After a few minutes of crying, the girl finally quieted enough to actually begin to tell him of all the things his classmates were working on to help him and his mother through the tough times they were facing. As she was explaining all this to him, Sachiko walked in again, the doctor nowhere to be seen.
"Well, it's going to be expensive," she said, somewhat to Kayo but mostly to herself, "but I can buy the equipment and the medication to take care of him at home."
Kayo's eyes widened at the news, half out of happiness, and half of sadness at the realization of just how much Sachiko was sacrificing of her own life to keep her son alive, despite the slim to no chance of him making a recovery.
"I will gladly do whatever it takes to help you ma'am," she said, finally, after another few moments passed. "He saved my life from the murderer that tried to take his. It's the least I can do for him."
"Thank you so very much, Kayo," Sachiko said, softly, smiling and resting her hand on the girl's shoulder. "I can't, in good conscience, ask that of you, though. Besides, Satoru saved your life so you could live it. So why don't you go out there and live it?"
As she said this to Kayo, the girl's eyes watered again, more heavily this time.
"I don't want to move on without him!" she shouted, clasping his hand between hers again and sobbing against his bed. "I can't just leave him behind. I won't let this become a town without him!"
Sachiko's eyes widened slightly and she looked at the girl with surprise on her face.
"I can't just leave Satoru behind, ma'am," she sobbed, her body shaking as she said this.
With that, Sachiko smiled softly at the girl again before wrapping her in a deep hug again and finishing the visit as usual before the two headed back to her house and they called Kayo's grandmother to ensure it was alright that she stay the night there, which it was.
After that day, it took about a week and a half for the fund raiser to get into full swing with Kayo and Kenya leading the charge and Hiromi and Misato helping as frequently as they could. Around the same time, Sachiko finally managed to get the bed and other equipment set up inside her house, with Kayo's help, of course, and only a couple of weeks later, she had the medicine and her son back in his bedroom.
As the time passed, Kayo not only maintained her daily visits to the Fujinuma household, but also began to visit the special places that Satoru had taken her to to save her from her mother's abuse but, after a few weeks of this, she resorted to only visiting the old deciduous tree that Satoru had called the 'Christmas tree'. She made sure that, when it was wintertime, she always went at night, often taking her friends all out in the night air in winter and during the summertime she would take them all to sit and have lunch at the base of the large tree.
As the years passed and she found herself entering high school and getting a job, she wasn't able to keep up with her visits to the tree as often as she wanted to, but, even as her schedule soon filled, she maintained at least one visit a month to the tree. Her visits to Satoru also were affected by her busy schedule and she was only able to come see him on Sundays.
After she entered her junior year of high school, she was approached by Hiromi after school where he asked her to go on a date with him. This lead to them dating throughout the rest of their high school careers, but she could never stop thinking about Satoru, the first boy she'd ever truly loved. She felt as though it was wrong to move on like this and be happy. He was in a coma, not dead.
About a month after graduation, Hiromi and Kayo had gone to see a new movie and had also had an amazing dinner. As they returned to her home, they spoke a little more about the future and what they were going to do as far as university went.
"I'm going to become a doctor," he'd told her with a smile, knowing this would hit home with her.
"That sounds amazing," she'd said to him with a warm smile. After a few moments of silence, she cast her eyes towards the sky, the stars brilliantly casting their light upon them. "I was actually thinking about going to be a preschool teacher or maybe some other elementary level teacher."
"Oh..." he said, casting his eyes down at the ground, his expression unreadable.
"Well, anyway, I had a really good time, Hiro," she said with another smile. "Thank you ve-"
"Kayo, wait," he said, catching her hand as she turned to her front door. As she looked back at him, he got down on one knee, reaching into his pocket and producing a ring box. "Kayo Hinadzuki, will you do me the honor of making me the-"
"No," she replied, cutting him off sharply as she cast her face away so he couldn't see. "I'm sorry."
His smile evaporated and his eyes filled with warm tears.
"Kayo..." he said, knowing exactly why she'd rejected him.
"I'm sorry, Hiro," she said, still not meeting his gaze as she pulled her front door key out of her pocket. "I just... I can't..."
A burst of rage had filled him as he stood, tears flowing down his cheeks.
"He's not coming back, Kayo!" he shouted before he could even think about the words that had escaped his lips. As he realized what he'd said, he immediately regretted it.
Kayo stiffened at his outburst.
"I just... I wish you'd stop obsessing over him..." he started again, trying to sound less cruel this time. "Who knows when or if he'll wake up, Kayo?.. He would want you to be happy..."
As he continued on with this ranting, she had turned back around, her expression unreadable as she soon stood in front of him. As the last word escaped his lips, and before either of them knew what had happened, a loud slap rang through the air and he recoiled, holding his left cheek where she'd struck him. As he stood back up from the strike, he looked to see tears flowing down her face as she shook with anger before him.
"How dare you!" she shouted, closing the distance again as she punched him in the chest, a few sobs escaping her lips. "How fucking dare you!"
"I'm sorry, Kayo," he said, holding his arms out to her, but all she did was punch his chest over and over and over again.
"Leave!" she screamed, giving him one last, solid, full-strength punch to the chest, sending him reeling. "Get the fuck away from me! Just go away!"
He opened his mouth to object and further apologize but he could see the sheer rage in her eyes.
"I'm sorry," he said, softly, turning and walking away, back off to his house.
The rest of that night and on for a little while in the morning, she found herself in sobbing fits so devastating she couldn't even find the strength to stand, at some points.
After that night, she and Hiromi managed to become friends again, but their relationship disappeared and both of them knew it wasn't going to ever come back. The two decided to go to the same major university near the Chiba prefecture, which was also where Sachiko planned to move with Satoru to continue taking care of him. Hiro knew this was why the girl had chosen the university despite its low ratings.
A few years later, Hiro was qualified to practice family medicine and left university, at least for a little while, to begin practice, telling Kayo that he'd eventually return to become further qualified. She, on the other hand, after getting a basic education degree, moved back to her hometown and started teaching the fifth grade at their old school. Despite these things, however, she would always make a point to come visit Satoru in his bed at least once a month, or more if possible.
Before she even realized it, the years passed and it was 2003. Since returning to her hometown, she would make weekly, sometimes more frequent visits to the Christmas tree, often sitting below it and enjoying the sunlight and breeze on her skin.
Then, one day, she was in the middle of grading her students' tests from earlier that day, enjoying the sunlight streaming through the windows of the still-old building, when she received a call from Sachiko, who was nearly hysterical and had clearly been crying a lot before the call and cried throughout the call.
Panic filled her heart as she heard the woman spitting and sputtering on the phone, barely able to talk.
Did he die?! her mind screamed at her.
"Sachiko, Sachiko, please!" she yelled, too zealously. "Please just... just calm down and tell me what's going on!"
"K... Ka..." the woman sputtered, still having difficulty breathing. "Kayo! You have to come here right away!"
Kayo's eyes widened at the words, feeling her chest tighten and her stomach begin flipping.
"You mean..." she said softly as the world began to spin around her.
"It's Satoru!" Sachiko shouted into her ear. "My baby boy! He's awake!"
Kayo felt the phone drop from her hand and onto the desk, her eyes wide in shock. Before she even fully knew what she was doing, she was sprinting down the hallway, holding all of the tests as she ran into the faculty room. She dropped the tests onto her desk before sprinting into the principal's office. As soon as she'd heard about Satoru's change in condition from being in a 'vegetative state' to somehow being in a more sleep-like state, she'd informed the principal and asked that, if he were to wake, she be given the rest of whatever week it happened to be off, if possible. After having been working at this school for the last nearly four years, she'd earned a good enough reputation that the principal gladly allowed her to take the rest of the week off.
"You have five days," he told her, trying to keep a smile from his face. "Be back by next Monday."
"Yes sir! Thank you so much!" she nearly screamed as she sprinted out of the office, running down the hall.
Within three hours, she was on the express train, racing as fast as she could to the Chiba prefecture.
I'm coming Satoru, she thought to herself, holding her small bag's shoulder strap so tight her knuckles were turning white as she was barely able to contain her elation and excitement. The boy was awake. The boy who'd saved her life from a still-unknown murderer; the boy who tried to be her friend and kept her from ever feeling truly alone again; the boy who was more than happy to give away his life to protect hers; the only boy she'd ever truly loved.
