"Come in!"
Smiling, I opened the door, walked inside. As I turned around, I paused, then glanced over at Jake. "Hey, Midget? You want it open or closed?"
"Closed. Um, you can keep it unlocked," Jake answered, giving me a small smile.
I had a feeling I knew why he'd locked the door earlier.
Trying not to wince at the mental image this conjured, I nodded, then took a deep breath, before closing the door. I crossed over to my kid brother's bed. The memory of seeing him thrashing and hiding last night came back to me, and, as I forced myself not to wince, I wondered if there was even a way to prevent these nightmares. Probably not. Well, not if he was really stressed. He wasn't now-I hoped.
I sat down next to Jake, and, looking a little sheepish, he put a comic book facedown over on his bedside table. A superhero comic, from the back of it, but I wasn't sure if it was Batman or Superman or some other mutant superhero. Take away my guy card, but I'd never been much into that whole genre. Well, the movies were okay, but I'd never been big on reading the comics. Jake, on the other hand, used to be so obsessed that he'd dressed up as one or the other for no less than four Halloweens.
Seeing me glance at his reading material, Jake shrugged, then forced a laugh. "I know, I'm kind of old for them."
"Oh, please." I grinned. "You're fighting to save the world. And you worked like crazy this weekend. You're allowed some easy reading." I pulled the covers on "my" side of the bed over my shoulders. "Anyway, once this war is over, there will be comic books about you guys. You'll be Catman."
Jake, who'd been edging himself a couple of inches closer to me, now groaned. "Catman, really, Tom? Why not Tigerman?"
"You'll have to talk to the publishers about that." I grinned again, inching myself closer to him. "If I have any say in it, you'll be Kittyman."
"Don't you dare!" Jake gave me a mock glare.
I wrapped my arms around Jake, pulling him into a long hug. "Okay, okay. Catman it is."
Jake nestled himself against me, then let out a contented sigh. "You know," he mused, not quite managing to hide a yawn, "Marco and I have an ongoing debate over whether Batman or Superman is better."
"Uh huh. Who's winning?" I asked, chuckling, leaning against the pillow.
I didn't ask him what side he was on. Jake would have sighed and complained that he'd only told me a billion times.
Jake shrugged as he leaned back. "Depends who you ask."
I snickered, giving him another squeeze. "Right." After a pause, I asked, "Hey, Midget? You want to talk about anything else?"
He turned his head towards me, looking confused. "Like what?"
"Anything you want. Whatever's on your mind," I clarified. Gently, I added, "I know it's been a pretty crazy weekend."
Jake smiled at me, nearly grinning. "Not in a bad way, Tom. You're...you're back."
His voice cracked at the last part.
"Yeah," I agreed, with a smile of my own. "I'm back. And, look, Midget, I want to be here for you throughout all of this, okay? You can talk to me about anything. Anything."
Jake yawned. "Sorry."
"I'm not that boring!" I teased, giving him another squeeze.
"No way!" he agreed, laughing a little. "I guess I'm just tired."
"Got it. No major heart to hearts tonight," I agreed, with another nudge. "I'll let you sleep. Unless," I added, "If you want, I could rub your back for a little? Until you fall asleep?"
I half expected Jake to object, but he just looked up at me, clearly surprised. "Really?"
I placed my hands on the top of his shoulders, starting to make small circles. "Yeah. If you want. It might help you sleep better. No nightmares, and all that."
"Yeah. I guess it might help," Jake answered, still sounding a little tentative.
I let go of his shoulders. "So...you want to lay down on your stomach, or sit up?"
"Um...I think I'll lay on my stomach," he decided.
I nodded. "Okay."
After Jake rolled himself over, I moved the blankets out of our way and repositioned myself so that I was sitting next to him, without being at a weird angle that might give me a backache. I wondered if I should suggest Jake take his shirt off-I imagined a back massage would feel a lot better without the layer of clothes in between-but decided against it. I placed my hands above his shoulders, starting at his neck, and began with small circles along the outside, then moving in towards the middle.
A minute after starting, Jake let out a deep breath, followed by a long sigh.
"Jake? You doing okay?" I asked, softly.
"Yeah," he murmured.
"If I'm hurting you or you're uncomfortable, let me know," I pressed.
"It feels really good," Jake replied in a whisper.
"Okay, well, you know..."
"Okay," he repeated.
To be completely honest, I wasn't an expert on giving back rubs. Only a little more knowledgable with receiving them. Mom used to, when Jake and I were sick as kids, or really, really upset about something. That had been ages and ages ago. Kind of a shame, because, based on what Midget had gone through, he was probably due at least a hundred.
Not that she'd know. Or that we could tell her. It was just way too risky.
Even though Jake was the one receiving the relaxing treatment-judging by my kid brother's breathing become slower, more steady, as the minutes passed-it was also kind of therapeutic for me. Not just because I knew I was helping Jake relax, but also because the motions were repetitive. Soothing. I'd long since moved from Midget's neck to his shoulders, and then to the middle of his back, but as he seemed to enjoy his shoulders the best, I spent the most time there. After awhile, Jake's breathing became almost completely even, and the small sounds of contentment were no more. Was he asleep? Probably. Since my hands were starting to go a little numb, I figured it was bedtime (for real) for both of us.
I lay back down on the bed, taking care to wrap the blankets around us, and then maneuvered my arms around Jake, easing him into a hug.
(Imagine what would happen if you went a whole night without hugging,) Liliss teased me, with a laugh.
(The world would end. Obviously,) I retorted with a mental grin.
(Naturally,) she laughed.
"Comfortable?" I asked, softly, tucking the blankets around us. "Warm enough?"
"Yeah." He turned his face towards me, a contented smile on his lips. After a few seconds, Midget added, "Tom? Thank you."
I pulled him even closer, into a bear hug, eliciting a contented sigh from my kid brother.
"You're welcome," I answered, softly. "Love you, Midget."
"You too," was his response, as his head slumped against my shoulder.
I pulled Jake even closer. Not tight enough to restrict his breathing or anything-I hoped-just to give him the extra comfort and let him know that I was there if he needed anything.
But, just to be sure...
"Midget? Wake me up if you have any bad dreams, okay?" I mumbled, now letting my head rest against the pillow.
"Mmmkay," he whispered, or, at least, I thought he did.
That night, though, we both slept soundly. Peacefully.
I woke up before Jake, and about twenty minutes before our alarm would go off, so I figured I'd just relax until it was time for us to get up. My arms, I noticed, were still wrapped around his small, too skinny, frame. I released one to brush some hair out of his eyes before resuming my hug. Jake hardly stirred.
(Good morning, honey,) came Liliss' gentle voice.
(Hey, Liliss,) I answered, giving her a mental grin. (No nightmares, I guess.)
(No nightmares,) she answered, softly. (No dreams...well, nothing very substantial that I could make out. You slept very well, Tom.)
While this wasn't exactly an unusual occurrence, it wasn't something I took for granted. Too often, I dreamt of Temrash.
Like my control issues, though, those nightmares were starting to fade away. When I went as much as a month without dreaming about him directly-not that I didn't have other nightmares-I could hope that I might stop dreaming about him completely.
Someday.
Healing, as Liliss often reminded me, took time.
As though in response to this, I felt her nudge me, wordlessly asking if I wanted a mental hug, and I gave her a mental nod. As I felt my mind relax and fill with warmth, I was still aware that Jake had begun to stir in his sleep. After a few minutes, his eyes opened. His face registered some confusion, but not fear. Or, at least, not panic.
"Hey, Midget," I greeted, keeping my voice gentle.
He turned over on his side and looked at me, giving me a slow smile. "Hey, Tom."
I removed one arm from around his stomach and brushed back some hair from his face. "How'd you sleep?"
He blinked, then grinned. "Actually, really good."
"You say that like it's a surprise," I observed.
He kind of shrugged his shoulders, as he started to sit up. I did the same, remembering to turn off the alarm before it would go off and nearly give us heart attacks.
Well, maybe just me. Jake's alarm was loud.
"Anything you want to talk about?" I asked, gently.
Jake hesitated, then nodded, leaning in closer to me. I placed an arm around him, and he curled his skinny frame against me.
"I don't get nightmares all the time," he began, and at my nod, he added, slowly, "but there are definitely nights when it's hard to sleep. I worried a lot. I mean, I still do, but with you and her..." Jake paused, took a deep breath, then continued. "I mean, now, I know that she's not hurting you." Jake inhaled, then exhaled. "That helps."
I nodded, hoping that Jake could see that I understood. "This whole thing, it's tough. Hell, Midget, I still have dreams about Temrash," I admitted. "Even though it's been eight months. The only way I don't wake up screaming is that Liliss...she helps me through them, right after I wake up. Usually in a total panic."
Jake nodded, again, but the look on his face told me that he didn't dream about Temrash. Not regularly, anyway.
"It's...I-I have this tiger dream," Jake began, not looking directly at me, and then clamming up.
"Hey." I pulled Jake even closer, giving him a bear hug, which he returned. After he let go, I added, gently, "Look, Midget. You don't need to tell me, if you don't want to. Not right away. I mean," I added, "I want to know, if you want to tell me, but don't feel like you have to. We have time, you know? Doesn't have to be everything at once."
"I think I need a little more time," Jake decided. "I mean...it's still a lot, you know? To take in?"
"Sure. I get it." Then, playfully, I gave Jake a little nudge. "But, look, the one thing that can't wait? The dinosaurs. I really, really want to hear all about those dinosaurs."
Jake managed a laugh. "I can handle that."
"Tell me everything," I demanded, playfully.
"Like, right now?" Jake glanced at the clock. "We have to get ready for school soon."
I gave him a light nudge, even though I knew he was probably right. "You're no fun. Okay, for now, just answer this: since you've been there, what's the official verdict? Who would win in a fight, us, or those oversized lizards?"
Jake made a face. "Dinosaurs. Not even close."
(You're such boys,) Liliss laughed, affectionately.
(Oh, please. If one of your poolmates told you they'd gone back in time and encountered some massive prehistoric creature on your home planet, you'd want to know more,) I retorted.
(We didn't have any massive prehistoric creatures before us,) Liliss laughed.
(Right. That you know of. Who knows, maybe you also had dinosaurs. Gedd senses aren't that great, and bones can get buried really deep in the planet,) I pointed out.
Unable to refute this, Liliss contented herself with sending me a mental eye role.
(Real mature,) I teased.
(I learn from the best,) she responded, overly primly.
I sent her an image of a Yeerk in a poofy pink dress, which caused her to burst into peels of laughter.
Realizing that Jake was waiting for me to respond, I pointed to my head, and then laughed. "Well, sure, against ancient men. But today? I dunno, Midget. We've got all kinds of nuclear weapons, not to mention good old regular guns. I figure we could take them out," I teased. "Hey, you were there for awhile, right? What did you eat?" An idea dawned on me. "What did you do for food? Hey, did you actually eat any of them?"
"We were there about a week, so yeah, we ate dinosaurs. Uh, I guess it kind of tasted like a mix of fish and chicken?" Jake shrugged. "That's what I'd say, anyway. It wasn't great, wasn't bad. I sure don't crave dinosaur meat."
I snickered. "I wonder if alligators or something would be the closest thing to that," I mused. Glancing at the clock, I stood up. "C'mon, or we'll be late. Hey, if you want, I can drive you."
"Sure!" Jake agreed, also standing up.
"Maybe after school, we can shoot some hoops?" I offered. "And I can help you with your homework. I mean, if you need any."
"Probably can't hurt to review for math," Jake agreed, making a face.
I started to leave the room. "Yeah, if he's going to be a jerk and give you guys pop quizzes every week. So much for teachers being overworked, huh?"
"Well, all math teachers are sadists," Jake joked.
"Obviously." I smiled. "See you downstairs."
I let Liliss take over then, until we drove Jake to school. Partly because I wanted to be in full control for that, and also because my driving skills needed some work. Driving and basketball were the two things that had really suffered under my time with Temrash. I figured it was because I had only recently gotten my license after being infested.
School went by pretty quickly. Liliss had control for most of that, as usual, and while I listened to some of my teachers, I also got in a good nap. After all, I'd need my energy if I was going to play basketball later.
Besides, Liliss was a better teacher than any of the ones I had.
Not wanting to make Jake take the bus or walk home, we parked right by his school as soon as classes ended. Once I saw him leave with Marco, I gave him a wave.
"Hey, midgets! You want a ride?" I asked.
"Midgets?" Marco shot back. "Ouch, Tom. I'm crushed."
"I'm taller than you, you know," Jake pointed out.
"Barely!" Marco insisted.
(More than barely,) I remarked.
Liliss giggled as she sent me a mental nod.
"If Jake's a midget, you're a shrimp," I teased, trying not to grin too much. "So, ride?"
Marco shook his head, looking mock hurt. Or mock offended. "Naw, dude. No thanks. Jake, he's your brother, so..."
Jake rolled his eyes at his best friend, then got in on the front side.
"He's not really mad, is he?" I asked, once the door was closed.
"Well, he's not crazy about being called a midget or a shrimp," Jake laughed, "but Marco won't hold a grudge or anything."
"Next time, I'll call him Jake's Best Friend," I promised, and Jake groaned. "How was school?"
"Not too bad. You?"
I shrugged. "Could be worse."
Which was true.
Also, I only had another year after this. Well, I'd be going to college afterwards, probably, but that felt pretty far off.
As though reading my mind, Jake spoke up.
"You thought about what you're going to do? After you graduate?"
I shrugged. "I mean, I have to stay local. Maybe start at community college? I don't know."
"What about basketball?"
"I want to do that. Definitely. If I can get to where I was before..." I trailed off.
"I know you can," Jake told me, determined. "Besides, Tom, you're amazing. And you at 75% is still way better than most people at 100%."
Since it was a red light, I reached over and tousled his hair. "Thanks, Midget."
Jake gave me a pained look which became a grin. "It's true."
I grinned, and squeezed his hand. "Well, we need to keep practicing. Tryouts are pretty soon and all."
Jake nodded, letting the subject drop.
We were quiet until the next light. Jake was the one to break the silence.
"About earlier," he began.
"Yeah?" I asked. "Um, when, exactly?"
"Dreams," Jake explained, turning to face me. "My, uh, my tiger dream."
"Oh. Okay." I glanced over at him. "You want to talk about it?"
He nodded. "It's one that I've had for awhile. Since you were still infested with Temrash," Jake started to explain. His voice became a little shaky, and I sort of turned toward him, reaching out to him. He grabbed my hand, hard. "My battle morph's a Siberian tiger...and, well, in the dream, I'm the tiger and you're my prey. I'm stalking you. Trying to...you know. Then, just as I'm about to pounce, the dream changes. You're the tiger, and I'm me. You're trying to kill me." Jake swallowed, hard. "The first night, I dreamed that."
I took a deep breath, then slowly let it out. A car honked, and I drove. Fortunately, we were almost at our house.
"I'm sorry, Midget. That stinks. This whole thing...I can't imagine what it was like for you," I told him, meaning it.
Jake nodded, but then shrugged. He swallowed, again. "Thing is, I know that being a Controller is worse. You're totally powerless. Helpless. I'm sorry, Tom."
I shook my head. "You made the right call. More than you even knew. Midget, having the fate of the planet on your shoulders...I don't know." I turned the car off, realizing it was still on, but in the park mode. I let out a deep breath. "Look, I'm here for you, Jake. I know, I know, I keep saying that. But, I mean it. Any time you want to talk, any time, I am here. And, maybe last night was a fluke, but if you want us to stay together on a regular basis, I am more than okay with it. If not, if you want your space, that's okay, too." I took a deep breath. "What I mean is, look, I just...I want to help you, okay?"
Jake nodded, his eyes filling up with tears. I reached over and hugged him tightly.
Not that it was very comfortable for either of us. I think we both banged our heads on the top of the car, once we let go. Still. I hoped that it helped.
"I'd like that. Maybe not every night forever, but at least for now," Jake decided. After a few seconds, he added, "Tom, even if we do this, I might still get a nightmare and wake you up."
Well, true. But, I had a feeling he'd have fewer nightmares if I was sleeping next to him.
Not that I wanted to say this, for fear of putting pressure on Jake.
(No, and there's no need to say anything like that to him,) Liliss reassured me. (I imagine you're right. He'll have fewer nightmares if you're next to him. He'll feel safer.)
(Yeah, you're right,) I agreed.
"I figure...it would better for everyone if you wake me up from a nightmare when I'm right next to you than in another room," I reasoned. "I can help you quicker that way."
Another nod. "Yeah. Okay. If you don't mind."
"Never," I promised, pulling Jake into another hug.
This time, we barely managed not to bang our heads on the top of the car when we let go.
I grinned at Jake. "So. You up for shooting some hoops?"
"Can we get something to eat from the kitchen first?" Jake asked, nudging me. "I'm starving!"
I laughed, then put an arm around his shoulder. "Yeah. Me too."
Afterwards, we played basketball for over an hour. I had progressed to at least 80% of where I'd been before-Liliss claimed I was over 90%, but I was less sure about that-and I wasn't at all tired when we headed inside.
Not mentally, anyway.
Yeah. Things were looking up.
Afterwards, we started homework, and then had a regular old family dinner. Complete with my favorite cheesecake for dessert. Even though everyone had second helpings, there was still enough left over for tomorrow.
Assuming Dad and Jake didn't finish it off before I got to it.
Jake and I finished up our homework, with him occasionally asking me for help. Between me and Liliss, we were able to steer him in the right direction. After a half an hour of TV with my parents. Dad sat on one side of me, and Jake on the other. A little tentatively, I wrapped an arm around him. Jake immediately relaxed himself against me, turning to give me a smile. Grinning, I tousled his hair. After a few minutes, he yawned, then rested his head against my shoulder. I put another arm around Jake, and he let out a deep breath.
"Midget's still exhausted from the hard labor you guys put him through," I observed as I turned to Dad.
"I am not!" Jake protested, clearly affronted, as he turned away from me.
"Just teasing." I gave him a nudge. "C'mon. I don't mind being a pillow."
Jake rolled his eyes but accepted my hug. Dad chuckled.
"Good to see you two getting along again," he answered, grinning at us.
There was a slight pause. Jake and I hadn't exactly talked about what to say if Mom and Dad noticed we'd suddenly become friends again.
Jake spoke first. "Yeah, see, Tom's finally realized I am never joining The Sharing." He shrugged. "He's agreed to quit nagging me about it."
I had to give Jake credit for his quick excuse. It was true, but that conversation had occurred months ago.
Had it been on his mind this entire time?
"Yeah, yeah," I half grumbled, like this was some major concession.
Jake grinned up at me, and I gave his hair another tousle.
We stayed up watching TV for at least an hour after our parents had gone to bed. I wasn't entirely sure that Jake was still awake, but if he'd fallen asleep, I'd wait as long as possible before waking him up.
When he started snoring, though, I figured it was time for both of us to head to bed.
"Midget?" I nudged him with my free hand.
Jake opened his eyes, clearly confused. "Huh? Time for school?"
"Time for bed," I explained, with a laugh. "C'mon. You want to do your room or mine?"
Jake shrugged, and forced himself to his feet, yawning. "You'll stay with me?" he asked, suddenly, as though I hadn't just told him I would.
"You bet," I promised. "Hey, you can brush your teeth first, all right?"
Another yawn, then a nod as we started the assent up the stairs. "Okay."
(If he doesn't fall asleep on the way up,) I noted to Liliss, just a little concern in my voice.
With that, I put an arm around Jake's shoulder, just in case he was about to stumble.
We both managed to make it to my room without hurting ourselves. Jake had even changed into pajamas, and looked a little less tired than before.
Which was to say, he'd still probably be fast asleep within ten minutes. Tops.
"Which side of the bed do you want?" I asked.
"Near the wall? If you don't mind," Jake answered, yawning.
I nodded. "Sure."
He climbed into bed, and I followed, wrapping an arm around Jake before tucking the blankets around us. He gave a contented sigh, and then placed his head on top of my shoulders.
"Comfortable?" I asked, teasingly.
"Mmm hmm," he mumbled.
(You know, I think I'm destined to be a pillow,) I deadpanned to Liliss, which got a laugh.
(Your brother knows that you're a very comfortable pillow,) she teased.
(Yeah. Clearly,) I chuckled.
"Still?" I asked, hugging him with both arms.
"Definitely," he murmured, yawning.
"Good. Now, if you have any nightmares, wake me up, okay?" I asked, fixing my eyes on his. "You shouldn't have to go through that on your own. Not anymore, anyway," I amended.
Midget nodded again. "I will," Jake promised, with another yawn.
I let my head rest on top of his. "Okay. Good night, Midget."
"Night, Tom," he murmured, or, I thought he did.
I closed my eyes, then, and felt sleep overtake me.
That night, both of us slept without any nightmares.
A/N: One more chapter left! I should add that I first wrote the next chapter from Jake's POV as well as Tom's, so I might post that as a separate story/one shot. If you've been reading this far, please leave a line or two of feedback.
