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By the time she got to her apartment and inside, Lily was near hysterical. She put groceries away on autopilot. She'd been gone an hour, but when Harvey came out of the bedroom, half smiling, phone in hand, he seemed unperturbed. "Hey babe, did you get something for dinner?" Lily blinked, staring at him, and then he looked up and frowned. "What's wrong? Why are you crying?" he asked, coming over to her, and made to fold her into a hug. She stiffened.
"Um, I think we should talk," she said raggedly, trying to hold it together.
Harvey made a noise in the back of his throat. "Is now the best time, babe? I'm waiting on an overseas conference call."
The redhead bit her lip, trying to breathe and relax. She felt her hands shaking. "Harvey, seriously."
"Lily you're white as a sheet. Sit down. What the hell happened to you?" he said, real concern etching his brow now, and colouring his tone.
She sat. "This is going to sound crazy," she whispered, unable to meet his eyes. All of a sudden his phone rang, and he glanced down at it. She felt shock pushing through the heavy guilt and heady hysteria.
"Babe, this is my call," he said, looking torn.
The redhead gulped, two fresh tears leaking from her eyes. "Take it," she said hoarsely, and he smiled in relief. She wondered if he was going to take it even if she'd told him not to.
"Thanks," he said gratefully, and kissed her cheek, then picked up and moved into the bedroom. Lily put her hands over her face, closing her eyes. Emotions tumbled over each other, fighting for dominance. Guilt, indignation, shame, sadness, guilt, shock, arousal, guilt. Why would Harvey just take a phone call when I'm literally freaking out? Am I really upset about that? I just cheated on him! And it was amazing, and I kind of want to do it again. God, what is fucking wrong with me!?
She took a several deep breaths and wiped her face, sure she looked awful, and set to work putting the groceries away at last. Twenty minutes later, Harvey came back. "Sorry, babe," he murmured, coming up behind her as she mechanically washed carrots in the sink. He kissed her shoulder and she stiffened, feeling distinctly put off by the gesture. "What did you want to talk about?"
Lily chewed her lower lip. "You should probably sit down," she breathed, and let out a sigh of mingled relief and dread as he moved away to sit at the little breakfast bar. She turned the water off and looked over at him. Harvey had always been so dependable, so gentle and easy going and utterly appropriate. She frowned as he pulled out his phone and glanced at it.
"What's up?" he asked. Lily felt distinctly nettled by his tone, as if she was freaking out over nothing, even though he had no idea what she was freaking out over.
"Um, something...kind of bad happened today," she said, guilt making her feel nauseous again. She bit her lip, unable to meet Harvey's blue eyes, although she could feel him looking at her.
"I guessed as much. Spit it out, babe."
Lily's brows drew together. "So, I kind of, sort of…" She peeked up at him, and saw him staring expectantly back, and Lily chickened out. "I, um, kind of assaulted someone with the groceries and then we went for coffee."
Harvey frowned. "You actually assaulted someone?"
Lily mushed her lips together for a moment. "Not on purpose, just when I was putting the bag on my shoulder," she said. "He was actually pretty nice about it." Harvey laughed and Lily felt her brows shoot up.
"Let me guess, you weren't paying attention to where you were going?" he drawled, and chuckled some more. "You're kind of a total klutz, Lily."
"I guess," she said, wringing her hands. "Um…"
Harvey smirked at her. "Did you at least buy the poor bastard a coffee?" he asked. I did a whole lot more than that.
"I offered. He declined. But we had coffee together." Scorpius had insisted he pay for his own. Lily took a deep breath, braced herself, and said in a very quiet voice, "And then, um, I sort of went back to his place."
Harvey stared at her. "I don't understand."
Lily licked her lips then bit the lower one, peeking up, feeling painfully sick with guilt. "I slept with him," she whispered, guilt spiking the nausea in her stomach up into the back of her throat. She braced for his reaction.
Harvey still just stared at her and then one side of his mouth tilted up. "You're joking, right?" Lily shook her head, dropping her eyes miserably again. "Come on, seriously?" Harvey said, now sounding very far from amused.
"I'm sorry," she whispered, looking up at him. "I didn't mean to, I don't know what I was thinking. I wasn't thinking." She felt a few tears stinging the backs of her eyes. "I'm so sorry, Harvey, I never meant to…" Lily couldn't finish, feeling as though her cheeks would ignite from the shame, and clenched her jaw, ignoring the taste of bile at the top of her throat.
Harvey stared at her and shook his head, then laughed. Lily felt as though she'd been slapped and scowled when Harvey kept laughing, the sound growing louder. "You know what, Lily?" he gasped after several long moments where she ranged from guilt to anger to sadness and back. "That's almost funny."
She stared at him. "What the fuck are you talking about?" she demanded. She didn't find one single thing funny about it.
Harvey grinned, shaking his head. "I wasn't going to tell you. But now… Hell, why the fuck not?"
The redhead was still confused. "What the fuck are you going on about?" she demanded. "What is so funny about me telling you I just cheated on you with some random guy!?" Who was way better than you in bed.
"I've been sleeping with Kelly since the end of March." Lily stared, mouth half hanging open, feeling like she'd been punched.
Her emotions couldn't even keep pace with her turbulent thoughts. "Wha-…? What?"
"The waitress, at the diner. She came onto me, and I've been seeing her since the end of March." Lily stared, mouth working, no words forming. "I mean, it's not going anywhere with her," he said, smirking a tad, "but let's be honest, Lily, we were over before Christmas." The redhead's mouth fell open a little more.
Before Christmas!? "What?"
"Look, I'm not even upset you found someone. Really, best of luck." He smiled. "You always were the best, Lily. I didn't want to hurt you, but now that you've realized it's over too, we can just part ways."
"Are you fucking kidding me?" she whispered. Harvey moved to hug her. "Don't touch me, you slimeball! Oh God, here I was feeling guilty and like the worst human being in the world and you've been fucking that little girl since March!?"
Harvey scowled. "She's not a little girl, Lily. She's almost twenty."
Lily laughed, hysteria making it sound crazy. "Oh my God, wow. Wow. Fucking wow. Get out of my apartment."
"Look, you're not innocent either," he said rudely. Lily snorted.
"Because you didn't have the balls to break up with me, you fucking prick!"
Blue eyes narrowed. "I wonder why. Either way, it was fun while it lasted, I guess. I'll be back for my stuff when you've had a few days to cool off."
Lily barely refrained from punching Harvey and slammed the door behind him. Five minutes later, she was on the phone to her cousin Rose and best friend Daphne.
"I need wine and sympathy," she told them both. "Come to my place." They both arrived within a half hour, laden with wine and food.
Once she had the two women in the world she was closest to present, Lily dropped the bombs. "I cheated on Harvey. And then he told me he was fucking some waitress at the diner for the last couple months on the side anyway. And then we broke up."
Both women stared and Lily chugged half a glass of wine. "Um, what?" Rose finally said. "I thought you and Harvey were like half-engaged!"
"You cheated on him? With who? When?" Daphne asked.
Lily reached for the ice cream Rose had brought and went to her kitchenette for a spoon. "Does it matter?" Lily sighed. "God, I ran out of the guy's condo like it was on fire afterward. Even if I'd gotten his number, like he'd be interested. And today."
Rose frowned. "I still can't get over you and Harvey breaking up," she said. "Jesus Christ, Lily. Tell me everything."
The redhead opened up the nachos Daphne had brought and crammed a loaded one into her mouth. "I dunno," she said. She felt numb still. "I mean, things between us have been off for awhile. Like, a long while I guess, according to Harvey anyway. I thought we were just in a rut, maybe." She shook her head. "God, and I wasted like the best five years of my twenties on that prick!" She spooned some ice cream in, then finished her glass of wine. Daphne topped her up. "And the bitch he was screwing around with is fucking nineteen!"
Rose and Daphne's eyes bulged. "What?" Rose choked.
"I know!" Lily exclaimed, sinking back into her couch.
"He's a fucking retard," Daphne said firmly. "You're hot, hotter than any nineteen year old." Lily snorted.
"She's going to law school at Princeton," the redhead said nastily. "God, like the world needs another fucking bottom feeder lawyer." It suddenly dawned on Lily why Harvey had been gone so long getting lunch. He probably fucked her and then picked up my goddamn pancakes! "Fuck I should have gotten that guy's number!"
"So, you know where he lives, right?" said Daphne.
Lily shot her best friend a 'yeah right' look. "Come on, Lily, you know he'd just be the rebound," Rose said wisely.
The redhead frowned and shook her head. "I know it's stupid, but fuck! At least it would be a good rebound."
Daphne smirked a little. "So find out who he is and accidentally bump into him." The redhead sighed, unable to fully squash the tiny smile at the phrase 'bump into him'.
"Maybe."
Rose took Lily's ice cream spoon and helped herself. "So who is the guy? Is he hot?"
The redhead rolled her eyes. "Yeah he's hot. I don't just fall into bed with guys normally, do I?"
"Not since college," Daphne agreed. "Give us the details."
Lily grinned a tiny bit, pushing aside thoughts of Harvey and the emotional turmoil thinking about him and their spats of unfaithfulness brought. Well, her spat, his long subterfuge. Instead she pictured Scorpius fucking Malfoy in her mind. Naked, hard, and delicious. God, why didn't I at least get his number!? "Tall, blond, ripped, really good looking," she blushed a bit, "and a total hunk."
Rose frowned a tiny bit. "So not fair," she mumbled. Rose was perpetually single, and forever going on first dates that rarely lead to more. Lily thought her too picky, personally.
"Good in bed?" Daphne asked clinically. Rose pursed her mouth.
"Hell yeah," Lily admitted. More like fucking spectacular.
"How did you meet this guy anyway?" Rose asked. Lily told them the story and they both smirked, because Lily was a klutz when she tried to do anything while in motion, and it was pretty cute. "So did you get a name, if not a number?" her cousin asked.
Lily smiled. "I did."
"So who is he?" Daphne demanded.
"Scorpius Malfoy," Lily said, and both women stared at her as if she'd sprouted an extra head or two. "What?"
Rose recovered first. "Lily, think back to school. I know you were two years behind me and Albus, but who was your brother's best friend in high school in our senior year?" Lily frowned.
"How the hell should I-?"
"Scorpius Malfoy," Rose said. Lily's mouth dropped open.
"But that was high school," she said slowly, hoping they weren't still friends. Daphne was still staring, eyes glazed, mouth parted. "Daph," Lily said. "Daphne, you're freaking me out, what's wrong? Why aren't you saying anything?"
Her best friend swallowed, blinked, and looked at her. "So, you remember the time, when we were like seventeen, the summer before twelfth grade, and you came up to my parents' lake house with me, for my stupid family reunion thing?" The redhead nodded. "And you remember I was going to show you my really hot cousin, who didn't end up coming because he was away in the army and couldn't get leave time or whatever?" Lily did remember. She'd been bummed.
"Yeah. So?"
Daphne grimaced. "Scorpius Malfoy," she said grimly. Lily felt her heartbeat in her ears and tried to breathe properly.
"I had sex with your cousin, who was once, and might still be, besties with my brother?" she asked. Her best friend and cousin nodded in tandem. Lily licked her lips. "Fuck." She emptied her wine glass.
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