Dear Qui-Gon,
Today's entry will be short, as I am not sure when I will have the strength to write again. The situation here has become most distressing but I know I must record my immediate thoughts – at the very least for later examination and reflection.
I thought lessons with Luke had been going so well, even though I was slowly teaching him beyond what had been agreed between myself and the Lars couple. It was simple Force skills, really, levitation of small objects, honing senses, even basic kata – all harmless in my eyes, and Luke excelled, eager to learn and pleased when he had accomplished a new skill.
But halfway through today's lesson, when Luke had successfully lifted a spoon with his mind and gotten it to dance in midair, he gasped and the utensil dropped hard onto the floor. I turned around to see Owen and Beru standing in the doorway, evidently having returned three hours early from their trip into town.
Beru looked confused and betrayed; Owen merely angry.
"Come here, Luke," Beru held out her arms to him, and he ran to her obediently. She swept him up and held his head against her shoulder, stroking his hair as he began to sniffle. If I could feel Owen's rage through the Force, there was no doubt Luke could, and probably more keenly.
"What is this, Kenobi?" Owen demanded, scowling at the spoon on the floor.
There was no point in lying, and I reached out through the Force, trying to calm Owen's mind but he swatted at the air as if at a bug, and I retreated knowing that it was not an option.
"Telekinesis," I said, keeping my voice even and soothing. "It is a Jedi skill."
A crease formed between Beru's eyes. "I thought you agreed not to teach him any of that?"
I spread my hands, trying to look apologetic. "I have taught him to control and discipline, enough to keep him safe. But the boy is so strong in the Force, and so eager to learn I thought it harmless."
Beru's face took on an uncharacteristic hardness as she held Luke closer to her. "Then why did you not discuss it with us first, instead of going against our express wishes?"
"You know why, Beru," Owen said, shooting me a murderous look. "He knew what we would say. But he is the high and mighty Jedi, and we simple farm folk, so clearly he thinks he knows best. Just like that Jedi who took Anakin away said it was for the best – I know, Shmi told me. They said they would teach him to use his powers to help people – protect them – but instead they ruined him." Owen's mouth twisted bitterly, and in that moment I knew I had underestimated his resentment of the Jedi.
"But I'm not going to let you do that to Luke," Owen shook his head. "Get out of my house."
"Owen, please-"
"Get out of my house!" Owen roared, clutching my robe and physically dragging me up and out of the homestead despite my protests. When we reached the ridge above the home he thrust me out and I tumbled down into the sand.
"Stay away from my family!" Owen ordered me, kicking sand in my face as I spluttered and tried to stand, raising my hands palms outward in an effort for conciliation.
"Owen, I apologise, I should have talked to you first. But I believe that forcing Luke to hide his abilities will only put him in more danger in the future-"
"The only danger he is in is from you," Owen pointed his finger at me. "We've tried to compromise, tried to understand, but no more – I see now you are a liar as well as a fraud."
I tried to explain myself, but something about my manner or words only incensed Owen further, and behind him Luke ran out of the homestead, tears in his eyes.
"Ben!" Luke cried. "Don't go!"
"Luke," I called and tried to go to him but Owen blocked my way. I was not prepared to use the Force against him, and so tried to get round physically but felt only Owen's hard fist slam into my jaw. When I tried again he began to punch me in earnest, and how could I fight back against him with Luke there watching?
Luckily Beru appeared and I looked to her for support. But I found only resentment at my betrayal of her friendship and trust – she shook her head at me before scooping Luke up and taking him back into the homestead without a second glance.
Without his family to witness Owen became even more violent. He attacked, and I could only retreat, but he held me in place and punched me in the face repeatedly.
"I won't let you do to him what you did to Anakin!" Owen screamed at me in a rage. "Anakin was good before you Jedi took him away. He was good - Shmi told me so!"
I took the beating - what else could I do? It was not underserved, his words not without truth - from a certain point of view. They had given me a chance to prove myself, to remain true to my word but my arrogance and pride had ruined everything.
Owen's face was red and angry tears spilled down his cheeks; for the step-mother who had taken him in and loved him without reserve, for the step-brother he had never gotten the chance to know, and now for Luke who was the only part of Shmi he had left. Soon enough he turned away, leaving me bruised and shamed on the sand, unwilling to even lift a hand in my own defence.
I backed up, nodding and admitting defeat, knowing that I would pay severely for my error in judgement. Rooh had pulled free from her tether and ran to my side, her coarse tonge licking my wounded face. I grasped at her gratefully, pulling myself to my feet and looking over one last time at Owen.
"You stay away, Kenobi," he called as Rooh and I retreated. "You come near this homestead again and I will shoot you."
I believe him, and do not blame him. I have made all of the same mistakes in new ways, and perhaps it is better if the boy grows up knowing nothing to his heritage, without the taint of the Jedi who had failed his father and now him.
I will watch Luke from afar. It saddens my heart dreadfully as I have become so very fond of the boy. Not hearing his laugh, his cheerful chatter and insightful questions is as much a loss to me as the chance to properly train him as a Jedi.
But it is still too raw to write anything further, Qui-Gon, and can only sign off your erstwhile apprentice,
Obi-Wan Kenobi
