Dear Qui-Gon,

It has been some time since I have written, although I cannot claim that I have been too busy to do so. It has been many months since Owen ejected me from his home and I have not attempted to return, for I believe his promise to shoot me on sight should I do so.

I miss Luke terribly. I had expected to form of bond with the child, of course – he is Anakin's son and our best hope to end the darkness which presently engulfs all of our lives. And yet…I find myself quite bereft of his presence in way that is quite separate from his heritage or destiny. Luke is such a happy child that his attitude cannot help but be infectious, and I feel as if I have been forced to live in a dark world where once I knew bright sunshine. I miss his insightful and eager responses to my teaching, that feeling of pride and accomplishment that this time I would not fail. That Luke would one day be the Jedi I could not make of his father.

But I am banished now as well as exiled. Luke will grow up and forget his strange powers, dismissing them as an idle childhood fancy. And perhaps that is for the best. Perhaps Yoda and I were wrong to include him in our plans, to expect more of him than he may be willing to give. That was our mistake with Anakin, for when the nine year old boy wanted to become a Jedi I doubt he thought it would mean a life of war and hardship, of sacrifice where his love for Padmé would have to be hidden and denied. Would he have made the same choice?

I know I would have. The Jedi have been my life's purpose; it has given me structure and fulfillment. I have not always agreed with the Council, but I have always believed in the Code.

There is no emotion, there is peace.
There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.
There is no passion, there is serenity.
There is no chaos, there is harmony.
There is no death, there is the Force.

All my life, I have looked to these tenets and found guidance and comfort in them. Yes, I have loved – Siri, Satine – but I have never felt the uncontrolled passion that must have coursed through Anakin's veins, leading him to take such drastic steps so he would not lose what he had come to possess. I once told Satine that I would have left the Jedi Order if she had asked it of me, but I wonder now whether that had been nothing more than a flight of romantic fancy. Perhaps she had never asked me because she knew it would not have made me happy.

Even with all that has happened, I still choose the life of a Jedi, although my resolve is often tested. A true Jedi does not work for a crimelord, although I convince myself that such acts are countered by the protection it affords Luke. A true Jedi should not have lied to Owen and Beru, and tried to train Luke without their knowledge, and I accept my error. Yet I believe my heart remains that of a Jedi, and every day I learn and I improve.

I wish Anakin had come to me about Padmé, so that I could have counselled him. And yet, what would I have said? Advised him to leave the Jedi Order, to become another Lost One, shunned by his brothers and sisters? Or would I have begged him to stay, convinced him that his love was mere longing, and that he was needed in the upcoming war? That more was required of him, the Chosen One, and that he should put aside such fancies for the greater good?

Perhaps he had been trying to spare me that choice. I had known of course, the nature of his and Padmé's relationship although I had underestimated how deep his attachment was. Anakin made the choice to keep that secret, and I made the choice to pretend I didn't know.

Time will only tell what Luke's choices will be.

Obi-Wan Kenobi