Shane the hero strikes again, I scoffed to myself. He had pounded our resident asshole Ed to a bloody pulp. No one likes Ed, hell I'm not entirely sure his wife and daughter like the man, so none of us were surprised that SOMEONE finally gave in to the urge to make his lights go out. All the fat dickhead did was bitch and moan, boss his wife and daughter around, and sit on his lazy ass. Perhaps if anyone else had done it, but no, it was Shane.

I'd witnessed the tense conversation between Lori and him. I knew personally how well Shane took rejection. My only wonder was whether Ed was surrogate for Lori, or my dad.

Carol took the beaten and cowering Ed away to deal with his mess of a face. I was certain she had more personal knowledge of how to deal with a beating than any of us, and it sickened me. Carol was a good person, one that didn't get added to my least annoying list only because she wasn't allowed to interact with me, or any of us outside of chores. It's somewhat hard to get a good handle on a person if they can't seem to make eye contact with you. I'd done some volunteer work at a women's shelter while at school. I'd seen the same haunted look in most of the women and children's eyes that I could see in Carol's. I could tell that her hair was buzzed off because it gave him less chance to grab her hair and yank her to him when he was pissed. I knew, because I'd seen other women do the same. And I watched them, impotent to stop them, go right back to the Eds in their lives.

While all the excitement was happening beside the quarry, Amy and Andrea were on Dale's boat fishing. Color me shocked when they decided to do it, since I hadn't seen that either of them were proficient in more than laundry and passable at dinner prep. Hell, Andrea kept a gun on her that her dad had given her and she didn't seem to realize that every time she acted like she'd use it the damn safety was still on. My dad always told Carl and me that anyone who hadn't been properly trained in the use of a gun, shouldn't have access to one. While I didn't take it from her, I also didn't tell her that she couldn't shoot it with the safety on. I kept Carl from being helpful, too. And Amy, well we were close in age, but that's where the similarities ended. She was blonde and a bit too sweet for our new reality.

I was truly surprised when the two of them came back with a cache of fish. Wow, I thought, who knew that the two of them would prove useful. I knew that Andrea had gone with the others on that horrible supply run that ended up bringing my dad back while leaving Merle to die, but from what I could gather, the only help she gave came after Dad showed her how to turn the safety off. Honestly, Dad, don't you ever remember the lessons you taught your own children?

While they prepped the fish, I went back to the Dixon tents and tidied up. I didn't even notice the hysteria that Jim's hole digging caused. I guess Shane didn't want to have another conversation with me about any danger.

That night, with Dad and the others still away, all hell broke loose. By the time Dad, Daryl, Glenn, and T-Dog arrived, the worst of it had happened. Not the killing of the dead, but the attack that left three of ours dead or with dead looming ever closer. Ed died almost immediately, though his screams will stay with me forever. Amy was attacked and held on, Andrea clutching her even with her knowing the inevitable. Jim, however, came as a shock. He hadn't made a sound, so finding out he'd been bitten was horrifying. Dad and Daryl nearly came to blows over what to do, and then we started to pack up camp.

It was a whirlwind. Burning the dead, burying our loved ones, and finding out that part of our group was leaving the rest of us. We headed to the CDC. Daryl was getting into his truck when I was faced with another choice. Easy, just like the choice of whose tent to stay in. I could ride with Shane, since he was alone in the jeep, or ask Daryl to let me ride with him. Dad and Lori were packed in with Carl, Carol, and Sofia. I could have fit, but that was cramped and I didn't like the chances that it wouldn't get a little miserable. Daryl it was.

"Hey." I said, walking up to him. "Mind if I ride with you?" I could see him weighing his options, something he'd never really done with me before. "It's you or Shane." I said, pleading with him silently.

"Sure." He grunted, opening the door and gesturing for me to climb in. I tossed my bags in the back, but kept my bow with me. We got into the line of vehicles leaving and I settled in for a quiet ride. A short way out, he spoke again. "I don't blame ya for what your dad did."

I looked over at his profile, he was still tense, but I knew that him and my dad would have quite a while before this blew over. "Thanks, I guess." I answered, turning to watch out the windshield as he drove. "You don't know him, but my dad, he does what he thinks is best. Always. He's one of those overly moral people, I think."

Daryl snorted, and I understood. What kind of man is so moral he leaves another trapped on a roof with no water or food? One who thought the others were in danger from that man, I answered myself. Dad didn't know Merle. He didn't know the type of man he really was, and while I didn't approve of his ideals, or his bigotry, I knew that he loved to read. When he'd seen the books I'd brought, he'd asked if he could borrow one. He ran through them faster than even I did. And the things he knew, like really knew, would have shocked everyone in camp. Everyone except me and Daryl, actually. Was he an asshole? Yes. Was he hateful and mean? Sure, sometimes. It doesn't mean he didn't have anything to offer, but why would that matter when people like Andrea "I don't know what the safety on the gun is" are around and don't like him?

"Do you think going to the CDC is a good idea?" I asked, figuring Daryl would have an opinion at least. "Or is it a wild goose chase?"

He studied the road, the skyline, seeing more than I ever would. "I think we should have a go and see approach." His blue eyes wandered back to mine, and he gave a half smile. "Beats being back there waitin' for them to come to us."

I chuckled and we rode on in silence until our caravan stopped. Jim wasn't doing well, he knew he was dying. Having the RV steaming hot, gave him the time he needed to ask to be left behind. Dad, always thinking of the person inside of the dying, tried to give him a gun. Ending his own suffering, that sounds lovely, I thought. Jim, being the considerate man who had dug all those grave-like holes back at camp, declined. And so we left him in the shade, to die, but not really die. I shivered, after saying goodbye, knowing what Jim was in for. Would we see him again? Part of the ever growing hordes, coming closer and closer, trying to bite and kill us for our sympathy?

Daryl and I climbed back in the truck. Dad asked if I was sure I didn't want to get in the RV with Jacqui and the others, but I shook my head. "I'm good, Dad." I said, smiling at him through the open window. "We'll be right behind you."

The weirdest parade I'd ever been a part of restarted and we headed back into the city. To the CDC, for a cure that I'm not sure any of us really believe existed.

HOURS LATER

Dad managed to convince the only remaining doctor at the CDC to give us refuge. Dr. Jenner, there was something a little off about the man, but I figured hot showers, real food, and sleep in a bed were worth giving him a pass for being an odd duck all alone in this massive building.

Taking my first shower in what felt like years, but apparently was only two months, was like heaven on earth. And then dinner, with wine? Seriously, is this even reality? Before I could head to my room, Daryl stopped me.

"Hey, Jess?" He wasn't looking at me, but he was gnawing on the side of his thumb. That was the tell for him being nervous and uncertain. "Look, I know we got our own rooms and all, but-"

I understood. He was used to sharing space with me, and this was the strangest day we'd had so far. "Sure, let me grab my pillow." I smiled, and ducked into the room I had been offered. Grabbing the pillow off the small bed, I wondered how we'd manage to make it work in his room. I shrugged and came out to meet him in the hallway. "Where did you pick?"

Daryl had picked the room farthest from everyone. Of course, it was a Dixon trait after all. I followed him inside and saw that he'd picked a double room. I didn't actually need the pillow, but was happy to have it anyway. "Figured," his voice would always sound rough, I knew, because he barely used it, "if you'd agree, you'd want your own bed."

I smiled up at him. "We would have figured it out, Daryl, one way or another." I reached for his hand and felt his fingers link with mine. I wondered if he felt that weird tingle like I did anytime one of us touched the other. Well, anytime I touched him. He'd only done it once, in the woods when he brushed my tears away. I bit my lip and realized neither of us was moving. "Should we-" I gestured to the beds.

I saw him swallow hard, his Adam's apple bobbing. Then I was reaching up and he was bending down and his lips brushed mine. I felt fire rush through me. I was hot all over, and he was barely even kissing me. My hand released his and then both of mine found his head, holding him to me. I deepened the kiss, needing him more than I could articulate. I felt his hands fall to the small of my back and he pulled my body flush against his. If I had expected Daryl to fight against what I was feeling, it was a foolish expectation.

Our lips pulled apart only when breathing became necessary. His eyes locked on mine, and I saw how dark they'd grown. How had I never seen it? Never realized how he felt, how I felt? Daryl Dixon would always see everything and I'd always be playing catch up.

"Damn, girl, that was a long time comin'." He whispered, his breath fanning across my swollen lips. His hands were rubbing my lower back, still keeping a respectable distance from anything too forward.

"Worth the wait?" I asked, licking my bottom lip.

He chuckled and swayed with me in his arms. "Yeah, worth the wait." He was smiling and I would kill to see it more often. "We don't have to-" he stopped, and glanced at the beds.

"I know we don't have to, Daryl," I whispered. "We haven't even though we've been sharing space for what, two months now?" I smiled up at him. "That was the longest courting ritual I've ever heard about."

His smile held. "Courtin'? Nah, I just figured that you wouldn't want me to try nothin'. After all, you're a college girl."

I rolled my eyes. "What made you decide to take the chance, Dixon?" I asked, running my fingers through his short hair.

"You picked riding with me, even after your dad asked if you wanted to ride with Dale." He said, pulling a hand away from my back and running it along my cheek. "I can understand ya not wantin' to ride with Shane, but Dale? Hell, he ain't so bad."

"Picking you made you take a shot, huh?" I cupped his cheek in my own hand. "Well, thank God I decided to ride with you instead of squeezing in with Dad and the family."

We pulled apart and sat down on the closest bed. He pulled my back against his chest and just held me. "Mean it though, we don't gotta do nothin'. Not tonight, not until you're sure." I smiled at the sensitivity that the man everyone saw as a ruffnut redneck was showing me. "Now that I know ya want me, I can wait forever if I have to."

I turned my head so I could listen to the steady beat of his heart. Steady and sure, just like the man it belonged to. "We could force these two small beds together and sleep together. Really sleep, for now." I offered, and felt him tighten his grip around me. "Unless you don't want to."

He nearly groaned. "Course I want to." He let me go so we could stand up and get to work. "Don't think these are bolted down," He said, looking at the legs of the small bed. "Let's slide this one over to that one," he was pointing at the one we'd sat on. "Further from the door, so we can see anyone comin' inside." Ever vigilant, I thought.

We worked quickly, pulling the beds together and working so the sheets and blankets over lapped. I tossed the extra pillow in the middle and we had a pretty decent sized bed. I smiled up at him and pulled down my jeans. My boyshort panties and tank would have to do for pajamas, since I didn't plan on searching for any others. I watched as he tugged his own off, leaving just a t-shirt and his briefs. "You want inside or outside?" I asked, since part of our bed was against the wall.

"You take the wall, and I'll be on the edge." He answered, just like I figured he would. He'd stand against the world for people he cared about.

I crawled into the bed, lifting our combined covers up and sliding inside. I rolled over and watched him lay down beside me. He rolled to face me, and we laid together for a beat, just taking in this new evolution to our relationship. My hand came up first, brushing the few strands of hair away from his forehead, so I could get a better view. My fingertips traced the planes of his face, touching his lips. Why didn't anyone SEE Daryl? This Daryl. The softness of him, the beauty.

I felt his hand copy mine. It was like we'd never taken the time to appreciate one another, and I guess we hadn't. "How old are you, Daryl?" I asked, because to me his face was timeless.

His chuckle vibrated against my fingertips. "Probably closer to your dad's age than yours." He nearly pulled away, breaking the spell we'd fallen into. I wouldn't let him.

"I only asked because I can't tell." I said, holding onto his hand in mine. Keeping it on my face. "Sometimes it's like you're older, and sometimes it's like you're my age." My hand on top of his was feeling the strength, the calluses of his fingers were more proof. "You know I don't have daddy issues, Daryl, so age doesn't make a difference to me."

"Bet your dad won't agree on that one." He replied, but didn't try to fight against his urge to touch me. "Bet the whole damn group won't like this one little bit."

I scoffed. "Since when do we care about the group and what they think?" I did have a pang at the thought that my dad wouldn't like this. I loved my dad and I craved his approval, which came so easily, but would he be angry about us? Would he hurt Daryl? I shook off the worry. "Don't talk yourself out of this, Daryl, you just talked yourself into." I smiled at him and moved the hand holding his to run down his arm. "You are one of my favorite people in this world, Dixon. You have been since the very first time you spoke to me, and spoke up for me."

His smile had me knowing that he remembered the time as well as I did. "Had to," he answered, following my lead to touch my bare arm. "Just cause you only had archery during summer camp didn't mean ya didn't know nothin'. And Merle was outta line when he called ya that." I felt his fingertips run up my arm and across my collarbone. "Your skin is so fuckin' soft."

And hot, I thought, feeling the heat building with his touch. "And yours is," I tested his skin, tracing the tattoos I found along my way. "Pretty damn amazing, taunt and strong." I bit my lip, and saw his attention focus on my mouth again. "Gonna make me beg, Daryl?" I breathed, and then his lips met mine. Searing hot, as his tongue slid inside for a taste. My hands forgot their route, and clutched at his head again, rolling myself onto my back and pulling him along with me. Feeling his weight fall over me, I arched up into him. I could feel how aroused he was, and I hoped he knew that I was too. I rocked against his hardness, and felt my dampness grow.

"We shouldn't," he whispered against my mouth, even as he dived in again. I nipped his bottom lip and he fed me his moan. My tongue flicked against his, begging without words for us to keep going. He pulled back, keeping our foreheads together, but letting us catch our breath. "Not tonight, Jess." He rolled over while I stared at the ceiling for a moment.

I moved over to rest my head on his chest. His heart was beating as fast as mine, and I knew he was being noble, because I knew he wanted me as much as I wanted him. I felt his arm wrap around me, holding me to him, and his lips kissed my forehead. "You're more moral and protective than most of our group, Daryl Dixon." I giggled, feeling his arm clutch against me. "And I think I may be in love with you."

I felt the breath leave him. "You think you are?" He whispered and I nodded. "Jessica I'm already there. I love you." I moved to hold his hand, feeling his fingers automatically link with mine. "Think I've been in love with ya since the first time I seen ya." He chuckled and I felt the rumble through my place on his chest. "Merle knew, hell he teased me somethin' terrible. Just didn't think you'd feel the same."

"For a guy who sees so damn much, I'm pretty sure you're blind." I said, voice muffled against his shirt. "Pretty sure I feel the same, I've just never felt this way before." I shrugged. "And what girl wouldn't fall for someone like you? You're amazing, Daryl." I propped my chin up on his chest to look up at him. "Loving you is going to be as simple for me as breathing. That's something Dad told Lori when they got married," I smiled at the memory. "I never understood it until you."

"Jess, I want ya to know that you can tell me anythin'." Daryl said, caressing my face with his hand that I'd been holding. "Anythin'. And I plan on telling ya everythin'. No matter how painful."

I nodded, knowing what he meant. He wanted to know what happened with Shane. "Not tonight?" I pleaded, thinking we needed one night to get used to being together. "Let's just sleep and then we'll share everything, OK?"

"It's a deal." He said, kissing my head again. He turned off the lights and held me as we fell into the first real sleep either of us had had since this nightmare began.

TWO MONTHS EARLIER~ GIVE OR TAKE

I stomped away from the others, bow in my hand feeling like kicking something or someone. Shane's smug face came to mind. As I neared the forest, I felt the tickle against my skin that told me I wasn't alone. I turned, ready to smack the asshole's face finally, when I was confronted by the two loners of our group. Dixon brothers, rough around the edges and everywhere in between.

"Heard what you said back there, little girl." The oldest, Merle said, nodding back toward camp. "What's a hot piece of coed ass like you know about bows and arrows? Did ya play a lot of cowboys and indians when ya were growing up? Wouldn't mind a round of cowboy and cowgirl with you, myself."

"Damn it, Merle, stop your shit." The other one, Daryl growled, glaring at his brother. "Let's see what ya can do." He motioned toward a target I had been approaching.

Shrugging and not fearing turning my back to the two of them, I was armed after all, I notched an arrow and let it fly. Dead center, right where it was supposed to go. I turned back and saw Daryl's first half grin. And my only thought at that moment was that he was going to ruin my world. Because Daryl Dixon was beautiful, he was my light in the darkness. And I was fairly certain, as he looked at his brother and told him I could be an asset to their hunting party, he only saw me as a little girl who could shoot a bow.