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Warning: You may not like the contents. No one needs to know you've been here.
Author's Note: I'm blaming this fic entirely on a stand-in for the Houses Competition (Lortan) and being awake much too late. I know it's weird.

Summary: Severus Snape was patrolling his dungeons despite it being summer when he catches Filch and Hagrid making tape hats for Filch's cat.

Submitting Information
Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw
Hogwarts Time Tracker: Term 14- Assignment 2 (Due 5th Feb 2021)
Hogwarts Subject/Task No.: Palaeontology (Task#3) [Write about discovering something new (could be a physical object, a theory or something about themself - be creative!).]
Other Hogwarts Challenges: Fantastic Beasts (#196) [Severus Snape]; 365 Prompts (#161) [Rubeus Hagrid]; Scavenger Hunt (#42) [Character I Hate]; Days of the Year (31st Dec) [Write about making a resolution.]; National Weddings Month (#12) [White]; Crochet Week (#8) [Texture]; Penguin Awareness (#8) [Spiteful]; Colours (#14) [Teal]; Crystals & Gemstones (#14) [Confident]; Slytherin Characters (#20) [Severus Snape]; But Can You Spell It? (X) [Xenophobic];
Houses Competition House (Subject): Gryffindor (Herbology)
Houses Competition Round (Category): Round 02 (Drabble)
Houses Competition Prompt: [First Line] (One may believe that their/his/her behaviour was suspicious as they/he/she drew closer and closer)
Word Count: 766 [Google Docs]

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Snape & Tape
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One may believe that his behavior was suspicious as he drew closer and closer. Not that Severus Snape would be so careless as to let anyone actually see him sneaking towards the classroom door that was propped half open. It was as if whoever had thought to use the dungeon classroom was so shameless that they took no precautions against their invasion being discovered. The entire situation was absolutely enraging.

How dare someone come into the lower levels of the castle as if they owned it! It was the summer! He was finally free of those misbehaving dunderheads that he was forced to endure throughout the school year. He should not have to put up with nosy busybodies making messes in his dungeons.

He slammed the door open as he billowed into the room, catching the two occupants unaware. It was almost comical how both Hagrid and Filch were staring at him with eyes wide open in shock. Both of them were also frozen in place mid-movement like they had been petrified. Scattered across the table between them were odd rolls of wide tape in a variety of colors and patterns which would not have been out of place on the headmaster's robes. There were also a number of projects in various stages of completion, all of them seemingly made out of the tape.

"Well, well, well," Severus drawled in his best imitation of Lucius Malfoy's posh tones. He crossed his arms, tucking his hands into the robe sleeve on the opposite side. The old Squib and the even older half-giant shifted guiltily under his glare. "Just what do you two think you are doing in my dungeons?"

"My office is just down the hall, Snape," Filch reminded him grumpily.

Severus conceded the point with a sharp nod. It was true as much as it irritated Severus to share the space with the cantankerous caretaker. Despite having been employed at the school for over two years now, he still had not been able to figure why the man had been deemed a necessary addition to the staff. But then again, the enchantments of the castle kept the grounds in perfect shape, making Hagrid just as redundant. Perhaps the headmaster had his uses for both of them just as he had for Severus himself.

"I always help Filch with his projects durin' the summers," Hagrid said with a shrug of his mountainous shoulders.

Severus rose an eyebrow in skeptic disbelief. They didn't expect him to believe that they had done this last summer as well, but he just didn't catch them, did they? He was far better at staying aware of what was going on in the castle than that! There was a reason that the Dark Lord had recruited him personally, after all, and it was the same reason that Dumbledore had kept him protected after the Dark Lord's disappearance.

"Mrs. Norris likes her hats well enough," Filch said, as if it wasn't the most ridiculous cover story that Severus had ever heard. Some of the younger dunderheads had more creative and believable stories than this! "She likes 'em so much that she takes them off and hides them. So every summer, Rubeus and I make more. This year, we're experimenting with using duct tape to make them." He looked over the table with a judging glare. "It's going fairly well, I think."

"These things are supposed to be hats?" Severus asked, incredulous at the very concept. He could see how a few of the pieces could be something that could be called a hat if one were inclined to be exceptionally generous, but most of them just looked like tape that had been folded back on itself or crumpled as if to create texture.

That was all before considering the garish colors and outlandish patterns of the tape itself. One roll was a bright teal with white mice running over it. Another roll was orange with lime green spirals bouncing from edge to edge. And those two were the tamest of the patterns on offer. It was enough to make him wish he would go blind so that he would be guaranteed to never see them again.

"Are you certain that Mrs. Norris is hiding the hats out of pleasure?" Severus asked in the most neutral tone he could manage. Neither of the two seemed to have an answer for that question. Severus decided that he had urgent business literally anywhere that wasn't there and swept from the room.

He made note to find somewhere else to be during the summers in the conceivable future.

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Fin
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