"The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places."
~Ernest Hemingway
I was 5 years old when I first discovered my brother's mask.
Up until that point, I was told that my mother had died in childbirth, that she gave her life so that I could have mine. It was a fact that filled me with both guilt and pride, but that was shattered on the day my father was murdered. When Erwin and I had returned home that day from school, the door was wide open. Confused but excited to see what was going on, I had run to the doorway despite Erwin's calls for me to stop. Oh, how I wish I had listened to him.
The scene in front of me was too much for seven-year-old Emmryn Smith to handle. My father lying in a pool of blood, his body beaten almost beyond recognition. There were two Military Police walking into the main room from our kitchen. They claimed to be there to investigate what had happened to my father, but something seemed off about them. One of them had a black eye and both were carrying their guns as if they were preparing to shoot at any point. Tears blurred my vision as I felt my blood boil, my emotions caught in a stalemate between grief and fury.
As I opened my mouth to unleash my suspicions on the two armed men, Erwin cut me off, putting his arm around me in what would appear to be a soothing manner, his tight grip however told another story. He was silently warning me to not say anything.
"Thank you both for investigating this, and I have strong faith that you will bring justice against whoever did this heinous act to our father," Erwin spoke, his voice strong and confident as his grip tightened almost till it was painful on my shoulder, "Now, if you'll please excuse us. My little sister is clearly distraught, and we both need to go find a place to grieve our loss in peace." The two military police nodded and allowed us to leave.
After Erwin took me to a field near our home, but out of sight and earshot of others, he sat on the grass, punching the ground behind him in anger. I looked at him in confusion as tears continued to flow down my cheeks.
"What's going on, big brother? Why happened to Daddy?! Are those men really going to find who did that to him?" I interrogated rapid fire, earning a sigh in frustration from Erwin before he silenced me with an angry glare, standing up and putting both his hands firmly on my shoulders.
"Listen, Emmryn. This is serious. Do NOT ask these questions around anyone else. I'm going to tell you the truth about why mother and father were killed," he stated seriously causing me to gasp in shock at what he had just told me.
"But I thought Mommy died when I was born?" I asked in desperate confusion. All I wanted was to go back to the night before when Daddy was tucking me into bed with stories about the places outside the walls. Erwin gave me a sad, sympathetic smile as he shook his head and continued speaking his voice low and quiet.
"Mother was killed as a warning to father for asking too many questions about the world outside the walls. Father never quit questioning things though. That is why he was murdered," Erwin explained, his tone dead serious as he continued, tears finally starting to shine in his eyes as his voice shook with emotions, "Now, I know you and I are both curious about what exactly is outside these walls, but under no circumstances should you discuss these questions or interests with anyone other than me. Please promise me, Emmryn. I can't lose you too." Erwin refused to break eye contact with me even as his body began shaking and tears flowed from his eyes. I reached up and clumsily wiped them away.
"I promise, big brother. I'm not going anywhere. I want to stay with my big brother forever!" I had agreed enthusiastically through my own tears. At this, Erwin let out a sad chuckle as he pulled me into a tight hug. We sat in that field for hours, crying and holding each other close, desperate for some sort of comfort despite the uncertainty that stood in front of us.
I was seven years old when I crafted my first mask.
As I walked home from school, eager to see Erwin who was biding his time until he could join the military since he had just finished school, I was grabbed and spun around to come face to face with a woman with a fearful, yet determined look in her eyes.
"Have you ever wondered what lies outside The Walls? I'm sure the world out there is as beautiful as it is dangerous. But what about the titans? I bet their secrets are out there as well -" as the woman continued rambling, she was yanked away from me. In shock, I quickly turned around to see a Military Police officer dragging her into an alleyway.
Despite Erwin's dozens of warning against it, I let my curiosity get the best of me and I followed them. I stifled my gasp as I saw the Military Police officer stab the woman straight through the throat, stifling any scream that she tried to let out. In fear, I turned and ran as quickly as I could in the direction of home. However, I guess my running raised too much suspicion, and a different Military Police officer stopped me.
"Where are you in such a hurry to go, little miss? You look like you've seen a ghost," the man asked suspiciously, despite keeping his questioning deceptively light-hearted. In a split second decision, I crafted and put on a mask that I only hoped would get me out of this alive.
"I-I'm sorry, sir," I stuttered and let tears well up in my eyes as I looked up at the MP with what I hoped were sad eyes, "I got separated from my older brother, and I got scared when I couldn't find him. I-I'm sorry if I caused any trouble." The MP's eyes softened slightly before nodding and slightly ruffling my hair.
"Don't sweat it, kid. Just stay out of trouble, alright? If you run around like that, people will think you're up to no good. Good luck finding your big brother," the man stated somewhat sympathetically before walking off. As soon as the man was out of sight, I walked as quickly and inconspicuously as possible back home before throwing myself into Erwin's arms and breaking into anxious sobs.
As I cried into his chest, Erwin comforted me in telling me that I handled the situation well despite my young age but also reminded me to be much more careful in the future. I nodded in understanding taking in all the advice he gave me for covering any slip ups like that that could happen in the future.
I was seven years old when I wore my first mask.
A/N: And here it is, the prologue to the sequel of The Masks We Wear. I'm hoping to update this story at least once a week going forward. Also, I took some creative liberty with Erwin's age when his dad died so it doesn't match the anime or manga. That is intentional.
Hi y'all! Taeha here (Dec 2020). I wanted to let y'all know that I recently started a discord server with friend and fellow author here on wattpad. It's already got bots and games set up for everyone to play and we're hoping it will become a fun and welcoming community in no time! Please check us out at /ycGhVwFBmz
