A/N: So I hate putting these at the beginning, but I just really need to put a MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING for this chapter. The graphic content includes a description of rape and other dehumanizing actions that are VERY disturbing. Please do not read if you are worried it will make you uncomfortable or that you can't handle it. The trigger warning content starts at ~Flashback~ and ends at ~Flashback Ends~. It is not required to understand the story, but it does add some additional details as to the torture Emmryn faced in the Underground. Again though, it is GRAPHIC and can be very triggering.


"Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it."

~Helen Keller

"Everyone, this is my new pal, Pastor Nick!" Hanji introduced him with an enthusiastic pat on the back, "He and I are thick as thieves!" As soon as I heard his name, my blood froze and I found myself blinking trying to rid my vision of the flashback that was overwhelming my senses and making me unable to focus on what was real around me.

~Flashback~
"Welcome welcome, Pastor Abel, Pastor Nick to our little slice of heaven," Friar Reed's voice dripped like sweet poison from his lips as he brought two men into the room where I as well as three other girls were standing in what could barely be considered clothing.

"Pastor Abel, why did you bring us to such an unclean place?" a man with short, neat brown hair that was combed over on the top and buzzed on the side asked the other nervously.

"Relax, Nick. That what you wanted to do right? Word around is that these ladies are the best in the business for helping us to relax," the other man responded with a playful and lustful smirk in my direction, "I've heard that they're pretty sturdy too. We don't even have to hold back." I found myself resisting the urge to spit in the man's face. I had already been punished once this month. I don't think I could handle another week without food.
"Word's right, sirs. These ladies are more than capable of helping a couple of important men like yourself relax," Friar responded suavely, "However, if you leave noticeable marks, I will have to charge ya a bit extra. For 50 pieces of silver extra though, you can do whatever you want as long as you don't kill em."

And with those words, one of my worst nights in that hell hole began. Apparently, Pastor Abel was a kinky bastard and wanted to do all of his heinous acts with an audience. Friar, the other girls, and even the other man, Pastor Nick, watched in silence as Abel raped me repeatedly until the space between my legs were burning. But that was only the beginning.
This demon of a man did everything from slapping me during his sexual actions to getting a whip from Friar and leaving open wounds all over my back and stomach. After all of that, he flipped me onto my hands and knees and proceed to sodomize me... As if this all wasn't enough, this bastard ended his little show by urinating all over me, open wounds and all as the others watched.

As my wounds burned and cried out for help, my eyes met Pastor Nick, who looked completely unbothered, even as I laid there broken on the floor begging for help. As I watched each of them leave one by one, I felt the hope fade from my eyes until finally Pastor Nick paused at the doorway and looked back at me, his eyes hard and unreadable. Hope reignited in me momentarily before being permanently extinguished as the sound of the door falling shut echoed in my mind, and I finally faded into unconsciousness.

~Flashback Ends~

"Emmryn," Levi's stern voice snapped me back into reality as I turned to him, my visible eye wide in terror causing Levi to wrap his arm around me and pull my trembling form into him as he glared at Pastor Nick. My raven-haired lover had witnessed more than one of my flashbacks, and he knew that they didn't tend to show up without some kind of trigger. Given the last thing that happened before I spaced out, well, let's just say it didn't take a genius to figure it out, and Levi's intelligence was definitely above average.

"Why the hell is he here?!" Eren demanded to know, and for once, I was thankful for the brunette's loud and reactionary nature. It was allowing me to hear answers to questions I didn't trust myself to ask out loud yet, so instead, I focused my attention on Hanji's answer as I felt Levi's arm remove from around me and go to his gun.

"Well Nick here already knew about the titans in the Walls before Annie chipped the wall in Stohess," Hanji stated bluntly in her typical light and happy tone, but I could hear the anger that lay just underneath her happy-go-lucky mask of hers. Eren Jaeger, however, wouldn't be able to put and keep a mask on if it was cemented to his face.

"What?! This bastard knew something and he didn't fucking say anything?! He'd better start talking now!" Eren yelled angrily as he stood up in the cart. As if Eren's yell snapped me out of whatever residual terror I was facing following my flashback, I spoke up, my voice much more strong and snarky than even I expected.

"Good luck, Jaeger. The Wallist Priests may act all holier than thou or some shit, but frankly, these bastards are the worst kind of people. They don't have a conscious that compels them to stop any heinous actions they may see, all with the supposed moral superiority of all of their decisions being for the greater good or some shit," I responded bluntly, causing Pastor Nick to lean forward to see me, his eyes widening in shock as he finally seemed to realize who I was as I gave him an evil smirk brush my hair that covered my scarred eye back ever so quickly causing him to gasp in shock, "Surprise surprise, mother fucker."

The cart was silent as the Shiganshina stared at me in shock at my words. Even Mikasa's usually stoic expression had molded into one of shock momentarily. The silence continue for a couple of moments until it was broken by the sound of gun being cocked as I felt Levi's arm move beside me underneath his cloak.

"Well, there's more than one way to get answers out of him. I may not be in top fighting shape right now, but it doesn't take much effort to pull a trigger," Levi stated in a matter of fact voice before his voice darkened ever so slightly in obvious anger, "Especially when the barrel is pointed at a bastard who did nothing to prevent multiple girls, including my wife, from being raped."

"Threatening him with his life doesn't work, Levi. Trust me. I've already tried, but with this new information about Emmryn, to be honest I wouldn't mind trying again," Hanji responded, frustration showing through her usually light and happy voice.

"W-wait! I wanted to -" Pastor Nick started but I cut him off as I stood up and towered over him, fury showing in my visible blue eye, my own gun cocked and pointed at him from under my cloak so it was only visible to him, Hanji, and Levi.

"Listen, bastard. If you think for a single fucking second of saying that you wanted to step in, I will torture you for answers and then blow your brains out myself. If you really wanted to step in to help me, you fucking would have, but you didn't. I had to endure that hell for 3 more years after that and had to be tortured within an inch of my life in order to escape with help from no one but myself," I snarled, white hot fury melting the ice in my veins as I uncocked my pistol and placed it back in its holster, "But, my commanding officers seem intent on keeping you alive, so I'll force myself to be content with letting hell torture you when you get there." And with that I returned to my space beside Levi, the other members of the cart stunned into silence.

After a while, Levi broke the silence by commenting on Hanji playing with some rock that was apparently a piece that broke off that crystal that surrounded Annie. That piqued my interest. She informed all of us that she compared it to a sample from the Wall and they were a perfect match structurally. That was where she came up with the idea of having Eren figure out how to do the same hardening thing with his own titan which he was unsure he could do. After Levi's comment saying that Eren didn't have a choice, I spoke up what had gone through my mind since they brought up that the piece had broken off of Annie's crystal.

"So that means the crystal is not indestructible right?" I questioned for clarification earning a nervous look from Armin as he realized where I was going with this.

"Emmryn, you're not thinking about -" he started but I cut him off.

"I am. If it's not indestructible, I'm wondering if we can find the weak points in it. Because chances are, the armored titan probably has the same hardening but on multiple parts of his body. We have no chances of defeating it without that information," I pointed out to which Levi immediately interjected.

"Way too fucking risky, especially since we don't know the skill level of whoever the hell is controlling it," he dismissed my idea outright, earning a glare from me that he met with a protective one of his own.

"Um... Actually, about that... I actually have a pretty good idea of who they may be."

Song: Why Worry by Set It Off

A/N: So I should probably say that especially from now on, there will be major spoilers from Seasons 2 and 3 of Attack on Titan. You have been warned. :) Again, thanks for all the support!