"To understand somebody else as a human being, I think,
is about as close to real forgiveness as one can get."
~David Small
-Levi's POV-
Following the confrontation between the titan brat and Emmryn, I found myself a bit more concerned than usual. Emmryn was acting a bit more hotheaded and reactionary than usual, a trait that tended to be deadly in our line of work. At the same time, the haunted look in her eyes when she saw Pastor Nick had me wanting nothing more than to hide her away someplace to safe. It was a staunch reminder that the hells she had already faced were not just at hands of titans but at the hands of the very people she was being forced to risk her life for. There wasn't much I could do about it, but it was easy to forget at times considering how well she handled all of it, especially compared to when I first met her.
As we reached the stopping point of our carriage in Ehrmich, I kept my gun pointed under my cloak directly at Pastor Nick. The realization and guilt that passed through his aged features did not go unnoticed by Emmryn or myself. Not wanting Emmryn to further bring attention to herself, a feat that was becoming a bit difficult with her dark copper hair that didn't seem to want to stay over her eye today, I spoke up.
"Don't try and help them now," I stated callously, "Considering you won't even give us the information that could prevent this from happening again, or could have potentially prevented this shit happening in the first place." I heard him swallow, and his face steeled.
"I'm doing what I must for the good of the world," he said, unmoving in his convictions.
"Then, don't you dare think of helping them or even attempting to comfort them," Emmryn interjected, her tone surprisingly low and even, "You've fucked up beyond repair with me, Pastor Nick, but you still have a chance to help those here. Don't make yourself live with guilt like that twice. Some of these people will end up in the exact same position I was forced to be in."
At that, the priest cracked, not completely, but it was clear that Emmryn's words had had their desired effect. Based on the tensing of the shoulders of the three soldiers from Shiganshina, they no doubt were surprised by her tact, a distinct difference from her manner of speaking earlier. It didn't surprise me entirely. She was a Smith by blood after all. Her brother and her may not look that much alike, but if there was one thing that was uncanny was their ability to manipulate a situation. Their skill with words was unlike anything I had seen from anyone else. From this crack flowed a critical piece of information.
"Historia Reiss," Pastor Nick said at a tone just loud enough that our small group could hear when we stopped walking at the agreed meeting spot, "I heard she is a soldier now from the 104th Training Corps. Rumor has it that she joined the Survey Corps. She's the true heir to the thrown of the Walls." I looked to Emmryn who shook her head, telling me that there was no one of that name in the 104th.
"There was no one in our training with that name!" Eren said to which Pastor Nick nodded.
"It would have been foolish for her to use her real name. She adapted a fake name to avoid detection. Her fake name would be Christa Lenz," Pastor Nick revealed causing shocked looks from Mikasa, Eren, Armin, and even Emmryn. The latter two quickly recovered and realized the other issue with that.
"She's with the rest of the 104th," Emmryn stated and was fixing to explain the issue when a Scout from Mike's squad came running towards us, a panicked expression that could only mean trouble in her eyes.
"Lance Corporal Levi, Section Commander Hanji! There's an emergency! There's been a breach in Wall Rose!" The soldier told us, her voice quiet as to not alert the people around us, "Commander Erwin has ordered that all of you report to the south gate of Wall Seena immediately!" At this, all of us geared up and jumped on our horses, Hanji staying behind saying that she would find a safe place for Pastor Nick. Before getting on my horse, Emmryn looked up at Pastor Nick one more time.
"Pastor Nick, I may never forgive you, but I do thank you for seeing the worth of other peoples' lives. No one is beyond redemption I suppose. So this is a salute of thanks on behalf of those who are being saved from the fate that I suffered," she stated calmly before saluting and getting on top of my horse with me. She was still a bit too injured and bad at following orders to ride on her own at the moment.
"You alright, Ackerman?" I asked in what sounded like a monotone, but the truth was, I was concerned. The other soldiers didn't need to hear that right now. It wasn't like her to salute someone she didn't respect, especially someone who looked the other way to her torture.
"I have a bad feeling Levi. Not just about the fact that the wall was breached," she admitted quietly as she wrapped her arms snugly around my waist and laid her cheek on my back, "I just have this terrible feeling that the more we find out, the uglier and more hellish this life of ours is going to become." I clicked my tongue at that.
"Then, we'll just get tougher," I responded firmly, "We're soldiers, Emmryn. Our lives are destined for hell and bloodshed." Hearing her disheartened sigh, I put a hand reassuringly over hers that was around my stomach, applying a bit of pressure in comfort and playing with the thin gold band on her left hand.
"But we're also married," I added softly so no one else could hear me, "Which means we're gonna face all that bullshit together." Her low chuckle sent vibrations up my back.
"Has anyone ever told you that your pep talks suck, Levi?" she asked, a teasing lilt in her voice.
"No one else has ever had the balls to," I responded back with a joking glare back in her direction.
"Did you just accuse me of having balls, Lance Corporal Levi?" she teased back, her voice switching to an imitation of the privileged women we had seen around Wall Seena, "If I was a proper lady, I would be mightily offended." I chuckled at that.
"Good thing I didn't marry a proper lady," I replied. The only reply I got was a small chuckle from the beautiful woman behind me as she rested her weight against me, and we enjoyed the steady feeling and sounds of galloping horses as we made our way to the meeting spot.
When we reached the southern gate of Wall Seena, I was unsurprised to see most of the Survey Corps lined up in formation. Our group rode up to Erwin who looked as calm as ever. Immediately, his eyes darted to Emmryn as he got off of his horse and held out a hand to her. Stubborn as ever, the copper-haired woman got off the horse herself, hiding the slight flinch at the jostling of her injuries fairly well.
"What do you want, Commander?" she asked bluntly.
"I need to speak with you privately, Emmryn," he responded just as bluntly. I glared at him. How dare he ask to talk to her privately after all of his bullshit using her as bait! Few things got under my skin after all the shit I'd been through in my life, but Erwin wanting to act like he has any closeness to her was definitely on that list. Also going on that list was Emmryn fucking agreeing after all of his bullshit.
-
Song: Play with Fire by Sam Tinnesz
Special thanks to all of the writers from Fan_Fictopia on Wattpad for their love and support during what is quickly becoming one of the most difficult times in my life. Long story short, I am now a single mom and am having to learn how to recover after my own fight against domestic abuse. This is where I've been. I'll probably post about it on my profile for those that are wanting an update.
