Two months. It's been two months since the quarry diversion. Two months since the invasion of savages with "W" on their foreheads had attacked. Two months since walkers had spilled into Alexandria, making Daryl create a lake of fire to deal with them.
Carl survived. He wore a bandage across his head, hiding the eye that Ron's shot had taken from him. I teased him that now Dad had to catch up with him on gunshot wounds. He'd smiled, remembering the Greene farm like I had. Strangely happier times.
We had a new wall in place. Daryl had returned to supply runs. Eugene was doing gate duty. Burying the dead. Burning the undead. And business was back to normal.
Dad and Daryl headed out for another run. And Dad took the time to stop, kiss me goodbye and remind me that he'd be back. Daryl absently did the same. His mind clearly on the task that lay ahead of them. And as I held Judith up, waving her hand for her to say goodbye to Daddy and Uncle Daryl, I tried not to dwell on anything gloomy. I was trying to keep myself present. To find my way back to myself.
When Dad and Daryl returned, they had a stranger with them. Dad told me his nickname was Jesus, but I could have heard him wrong, because I was heading to bed. So tired that I was pretty damn sure I'd be asleep before my head hit the pillow.
I woke pretty damn quick. Hearing steps on the stairs, hearing a gun cocking, hearing Dad and Michonne's voices joining the noise, I opened my door and tried to make sense of the scene in front of me. Happy for once that Daryl hadn't joined me in bed.
If I had to guess, the man held at gunpoint by Carl would be Jesus. I could see the resemblance. And he was offering to tell us about his community, the Hilltop. Grabbing a long flannel shirt to cover my nightgown, I followed them downstairs.
He was painting a more rural version of Alexandria. A group that farmed and lived off the grid, basically, and he was offering to take some of our people to meet his leader. I listened, and watched Dad absorb the information. As he looked at Carl and me sitting in one chair, I knew we'd stay behind. Which was fine by me, but little brother liked to be in the thick of things.
Carl's urge to go was tempered by Dad charging him with Judith and my safety. And the safety of Alexandria, just in case he needed extra bragging rights. I wasn't surprised that Daryl went. Or Maggie, Glenn, Abraham- It was our life.
When Maggie came back, with an ultrasound of the baby, I knew that the sweet confirmation of her joy wasn't going to flush away the clear agitation running off of Dad when he ordered a meeting in the church.
A new enemy. The Saviors. Dad urges to strike first. Morgan counters with setting up talks, negotiations. And the vote, which I abstained from, came down on Dad's side. Another war. More loss.
When the group leaves, I visit Morgan. He'd been spending a great deal of time in the house that he'd been held in when he first arrived. When I walked downstairs, I realized why. He was creating a cell. And I asked why.
"Options," was his simple answer, and I waited for more. "Death doesn't have to be the only option, Jessi."
Ah, he wanted to have the chance to talk us into keeping prisoners. I wished him luck and he stopped me as I started to leave. "You know, you don't have to keep bottling it up. You can find a healthy way to let it out."
I shook my head and left. He didn't have a fucking clue.
They returned. Dad and his ragtag band of survivors. Success was declared. No loss on our side. But Maggie didn't look great. Luckily Glenn seemed to notice. And they walked off together and I hoped that they'd get a break now.
Daryl had relocated his missing bike, which I was certain I should know more about, and yet, I could dredge up the memory. And he doesn't seem inclined to share.
The runs begin almost immediately after our "win". Denise asks Daryl and Rosita to take her out. Which seems odd, but what do I know? And Eugene and Abraham go on their own run.
Things happen in rapid fire. Daryl and Rosita come back, Denise is dead. I watch as Daryl buries her himself, trying to get him to open up to me. To tell me why he feels like every death is his personal failure, but I see that Daryl Dixon stoic asshole has returned with a vengeance. Or maybe he didn't return, I consider, as I watch Carol approach and a conversation starts. Maybe I'm not the person he gets his comfort from anymore.
Denise died, but Eugene was wounded. He's housed in the infirmary. Which has to be pretty damn sparse now that Denise isn't there to care for the wounded.
I'm the last to notice Carol left. I don't really know why. Maybe I've fallen backwards in my road to recovery and I slipped into that dark void without knowing. Maybe.
Dad's confidence, even with the attack that left Denise dead, has grown. Daryl's plagued by guilt. And then he roars out of the community alone. And Michonne, Glenn, and Rosita follow. I know because the gate attendant tells me when I take Judith for a walk. I brush it off. I'm sure it'll be fine. I try to adopt Daryl's attitude, but it doesn't fit me. And Dad and Morgan have gone too.
When Dad returns, alone, I clamp down on any fear that I feel rushing up. There's nothing to worry about. Don't borrow trouble.
But then, as I'm taking care of Judith, I hear Maggie's scream echoing around me. Rushing to the house next door, I find her curled on the floor with a terrified Enid standing there without a clue of what's wrong. I send her to find Dad, and the decision is made for her to return to Hilltop. There's a doctor there, the one who did her ultrasound, and he should be able to help.
Carl and Dad pack lightly. Sasha, Eugene, Abraham, and Aaron go along too. Dad leaves Gabe in charge, glancing at me to let me know I'm in charge of watching Gabe, just in case.
Carl takes me aside and lets me know that he'd locked poor Enid in the armory because she'd argued about going with them. I promise to check on her, and they hug me goodbye.
It doesn't take long until I get a nagging feeling of unease. Like a feeling I hadn't had since Dad and Daryl both were hurt. That skin crawling coldness that warned me of impending doom for someone I loved. And once I felt it, I couldn't set my mind on anything else.
Searching our house, I finally found the map that Dad had brought back showing Hilltop. I traced the path they'd take to get there, looking for clues to what I could be feeling. I saw plenty of places where an ambush could be set. Or a roadblock. Any number of ways to create problems for them along their way.
The feeling didn't leave. I packed a light backpack, and grabbed Judith in my arms and jogged to the armory. Letting Enid out, and cutting off her anger and ranting, I told her I was leaving my baby sister in her care. That she had to keep her safe and that I'd be back. She tried to ask questions, but I shook her off. Now that the feeling had taken root, I had to go.
I left by the front gate. It wasn't all that difficult, honestly. And I grabbed one of the vehicles I'd seen the others use for runs, and then, I started out to trace the path that Dad and the others had taken. Hopefully I could stop whatever horrors I felt brewing before they happened.
