Authors note: Sorry for the late update. I'll try to put up the rest of the chapters up faster. I hope you like it. Comments, questions...always appreciated. And I obviously don't own any of the characters.
Tony stood at the door watching Ziva sift through her cloth in an attempt to find something to wear to bed. He knew she probably hadn't had the chance to do laundry and he was wondering why she wouldn't just ask him for a shirt. The old Ziva had no shyness about her. She would have asked. Maybe she might have even just grabbed it herself. It killed him to know that she wasn't as sure of herself as she used to be. But, the woman who left wasn't the woman who stood before him now. She looked as fierce as he had seen her in Cairo. but, more tired. A little bit more hopeful but still afraid. He wondered what she could be afraid of. But, then she looked up at him and he could see the nervousness flash across her features and he realized that it might be him.
He loved Ziva as much now as he ever had and he hated to be the reason she got that look on her face. But, he knew there was only one reason she would have that look directed at him and it wasn't something he could just let go.
Flash back
They had told him Ziva was dead. And when he had taken Tali to Paris he had believed it. But, there was no closure in the story he had heard. And no fight in the way that she had died. He'd been desperate to get some detail that would make her death easier to cope with. So he had kept a look out. It had been subtle things that caught his attention. A croissant he hadn't ordered being brought to his table "accidentally". He was sitting where they had sat when they were in Paris all those years ago. Being booked into the same room he had been in on their visit there. He had asked and they said they must have confused his order with someone else. He had chosen to stay in that room. He'd spent the whole night looking for more clues of her presence. And at first he had thought he was delusional. But, eventually the searching had led him to Adam. he had confronted him about the situation and after a lot of pleading and pushing Adam had given him a single word -"Cairo". then he'd left.
Tony hadn't asked what was in Cairo. He hoped it was Ziva. but, even if it wasn't at least he hoped he would get closure. It had taken another couple of days after that to find out where Ziva was. He had immediately gone to see her. He had made sure to be careful that no one followed him and Tali.
When she first saw him in Cairo Ziva had been angry. Much like she had been in Israel all those years ago. And tony had told her he wanted to get closure. But, she had given him some sort of silent treatment as she held Tali. He had snapped. "You're mad at me?" he'd asked incredulously. Ziva had walked to a back room away from him and placed Tali on the couch before making her way back to the entry way. "Tony-" she had started before he cut her off. "You kept our daughter a secret from me for three years" He'd growled and she'd interrupted him with " I did not want to change your life anymore than I already had. You did not exactly want those things-"
"That wasn't for you to decide! If all of this hadn't happened would you have ever told me about her?!"
"Tony-"
"Ok. Fine! You couldn't trust me with our daughter."
"That was not why-"
"But, was I so unreliable that after all we had talked about and all we'd been through you couldn't come to me when your life was in danger?!"
Ziva was shaking her head desperately now. "Tony-" "You faked your death! You trusted Adam more than you trusted me." He sounded so broken as he said the last part that Ziva couldn't keep her voice from cracking as she spoke.
"I- It is not like that Tony. I-" Tali had walked in at that point rubbing her eyes. "Imma, Abba?" She had asked and Ziva had gone silent. "Abba and I were just talking" She had reassured her trying to keep her voice stable. She had picked her up and into her arms while looking pleadingly at Tony. He was one of the few people on the planet she could be vulnerable around. Ziva had taken Tali and tony had given her his phone to play with before putting her back on the couch. They had waited until she was distracted before slowly making their way back into the entry way. Ziva had looked at Tony's furious face and she had carefully placed her palms flat on his chest. She could feel his heart racing and she knew the shock of the past couple of days was wearing off and he was growing more and more angry with her. "Tony" she had whispered careful not to scare their daughter again. "It is not what you think. I trust you with my life." She had looked in the direction of the living room before adding "with everything in my life. I just wanted to protect my family." He had attempted to speak then but, she placed her finger on his lip. "I know you are angry with me." She had looked down at that. "And I have a lot of explaining to do. And eventually I will play the piper." "Pay" He'd interrupted. "What?" she had looked up confused. "It's pay the piper. If you play the piper you're the one getting paid" She had looked even more confused but she had silently said the word pay. Tony had gotten a little smile at that and seeing that Ziva had relaxed a little. "I can only be with you and Tali for a little while. Let us enjoy the time we have left together. I am sorry I yelled Tony. I will answer all your questions once this is over and we are safe." She had looked up beseechingly at him and he had pulled her into a hug. He had missed her desperately and right now he could forget all the questions that plagued him. "Ok Ziva. we'll put it off for someday" He'd whispered and she had let out a sigh before wrapping her arms around him.
End of Flash back
And here they were now, at someday. Tony knew she was waiting for him to bring it up again. And he would. He had to. He knew they needed to talk about it. They had a daughter that was aware of the world now. The last time Ziva left she had been three years old. But, if Ziva got scared again and went about things the same way his baby girl would be heart broken. And as her father it was his job to protect her from that. But, looking at Ziva so uncertain he decided that the talk could wait until tomorrow. He walked into the bedroom where he had placed the bag she was sifting through and opening a drawer he pulled out one of his t-shirts. "Here" he gave it to her. "Thank you Tony." She smiled gratefully before heading into the bathroom to wash up. She came back out a few minutes later and stood nervously in the middle of the room in front of him. "I know we said we'd talk Ziva but, I think we can hold off for another night" She nodded her head and he hated how silent she was. Something was wrong. He just wasn't sure what. "I can sleep on the couch" He suggested. thinking maybe that was the problem. "If that is what you would prefer" She said but, he knew from the way she said it that it wasn't what she preferred. He looked at her for a second. Then he gave her his famous DiNozzo smile before he said "Is that canon fire or is it my heart pounding?" The nervous look was immediately replaced by a look of confusion. "Movie?" she asked her head leaning slightly to the side. "Ingrid Bergman, Casablanca, 1942" She let out a small chuckle at that. "There's that smile" he said. Then he tilted his head towards his bed. "Come on. Lets get some sleep."
As they lay on their backs side to side tony in a t-shirt and pajama bottoms and Ziva in Tony's t-shirt he slowly took hold of her hand. He gave it a squeeze before pulling it to his lips. Ziva watched him. "I'm glad your safe." He whispered and placing another kiss on her knuckles like he'd done years ago in Israel he added "I'm glad you're finally home"
