Tali went back to school a few days later and by Thursday morning Tony and Ziva were left alone. At five in the morning Ziva had gone out to her morning run as usual and she'd come back and taken a shower before heading into the kitchen to make breakfast for Tali. Tony had already been up by then but, he looked much less put together as he roamed the house looking for Tali's missing sweater. He finally found it in Ziva's suitcase and went back to dress her. Ziva could hear Tony try to explain why it wasn't right for Tali to hide her uniform sweater as it was a necessary part of her uniform. She could picture the pout on her daughters face as she said "But, I don't like it! It's ugly." Ziva smiled waiting to see how Tony would respond. "You don't like it huh?" he asked. There was silence for a second and she knew it was because Tali was shaking her head. "How about this? If you wear it I'll buy you ice cream." No response. "Please?"

"Ok" Tali said sounding excited. Ziva could hear shuffling then a few minutes later Tony and Tali walked out. Breakfast was some fried eggs and an assortment of vegetables. Ziva had noticed that Tali didn't really eat any the past couple of days and she wondered if this is how it always was with them. Does Tony let her do whatever she wants?

After she placed the breakfast in front of them they both looked up at her with a similar expression. "I want a muffin" Tali said pointing at the box behind her. Tony had gotten some the day before and there was some left over. "You can have some." Ziva said. Tali tried to jump of the chair immediately but stopped when Ziva added "If you eat your vegi's"

"Yuck!" she said as she scrunched up her face. It was such a normal thing for a child to say that Ziva couldn't help the smile that crossed her face. A part of her was always afraid that Tali wouldn't be able to have a normal childhood because of her and moments like these reassured her that she was ok. When Tali realized that she couldn't get Ziva to change her mind she quickly turned to her father. "Abba! please?" she said in the sweetest voice a child could ever have and Ziva could see tony crumble under her puppy dog eyes. She knew that it wasn't going to take much considering that Tony didn't really want vegi's either. He turned towards her and said "Maybe, she should-" but, then stopped as Ziva raised an eyebrow. He sort of recoiled (She was a reformed assassin after all so no one could blame him for being cautious) and said "Listen to your mother" The he started eating his breakfast. Tali waited a little longer still looking at her dad then with a pout started eating her vegi's. She knew she liked it because she would eat normal and then scowl when she saw her mom smiling at her. But, once conversation started around the table in true little girl fashion Tali started talking about school and all was forgotten. True to her word when they were done eating Ziva gave her a muffin. Then as Tony was about to pass her she stopped him and handed him one as well. He chuckled and thanked her before giving her a hug and taking Tali's hand to take her to school. Tali gave her a hug as well and threw out a "Bye Ima" before they both left.

When Tony came back he headed straight for the shower and came back out dressed then he grabbed his laptop and settled in to work. He had a case he was consulting on so he spent the morning on that while Ziva made herself more accustomed with the neighborhood. She didn't want to go back to working as an agent so she was looking for a Job as well. By lunch time they were both done and they both knew it was time to talk. Tony had made lunch and they both sat on the couch facing each other as they ate.

Ziva was the one to start the conversation. "You know I trust you right?" he made some lame movie reference about how trust worthy he was but, Ziva could see the doubt in his eyes. She didn't respond to the crack. She just said "I do. More than anyone." He looked at her and she added "I just wanted to protect Tali. And you. And the rest of my family. Because, that's what you all were." She saw the rage flash in his eyes for a second "What about our right to protect our family?!" His voice rose and he calmed himself considerably before adding. "You should have given us the choice to protect you Ziva!" "I couldn't" she said. "Tali needed you more." "What about Gibbs?" he asked and she looked away. "I needed him safe." They both fell silent after this. They ate their lunch neither talking to each other and Ziva waiting for Tony to say more. When he didn't she offered to do the dishes and left. When she came back he was leaning on his forearm which he had placed on the back of the chair as he looked out the window. She stood at the door for a second watching his broken expression before she made her way to him. She sat on the couch then placed her hand on his shoulder. "The day I heard you were dead I didn't know how to handle it. I went back to work to find your killer but, I couldn't hold it together. Gibbs said I couldn't help with finding out what happened because you were "more than just an agent" to me" he said. "I couldn't understand how Gibbs could be so calm. You were more to all of us. This wasn't like the deaths we'd faced before. Life couldn't just...move on without you. It was too hard to breath. It was too much loss for one person to bear. I realize now that that was exactly the reason Gibbs held it together. He couldn't bear to lose another daughter. He couldn't bear to grieve you so he shut down. But, I couldn't. I didn't know how. So I became angry. At Gibbs, at my father, at Orli when she came to give me Tali and then at you for keeping her from me. But, Tali kept me going until I found out you were alive. And then the possibility of seeing you again kept me going. Now things are ok and you're safe again and I should be happy right? But, I'm not" Ziva winced and pulled her hand away placing it in her lap. "Instead all I can think about is how I felt when I heard about your death and that I can't go through that again. Tali can't go through that again." He looked up at her then. And she could see the pleading look in his eyes. "So, tell me Ziva? What happens the next time one of the bad guys we put away escape?" tears gathered again. "Are we gonna have to grieve you again?" Ziva swallowed the lump in her throat. "I need some air" he said. Then he rose and walked past her. As he closed the door behind him Ziva blew out a heavy sigh and settled into the quiet to nurse her own misery. This was going to be a long way back.

Authors note: Sorry I'm late again. I'm starting to think that maybe I should have a specific date for posting. A dead line might help me keep track of how much time passes between posts. How do Fridays sound?

P.S: Totally unrelated but, any fans of the blacklist out there? The new episode was released on January 22 and in true blacklist fashion it has managed to make me hate and love the show at the same time. A lot of confusion going on here.