Author's note: So sorry I'm late. I have been trying to log into but, for some reason it wouldn't open. learnt my lesson there. I don't think I'm ever logging out again. I hope you guys enjoy it. Schools about to start so I don't know if I'll be posting on Fridays like I thought. But, I'll post on Saturday or Sunday. I don't know which for sure but, I'll let you all know once I get my schedule. Thanks for reading. Until next time.
Tony's walk lasted nearly an hour before he went back. He knew Ziva would be feeling uneasy by then and a part of him was kind of glad. He told himself how unreasonable that was. He had told her most of what was on his mind but, he knew that wasn't the whole truth. He just couldn't figure out what the whole truth was. He took a long sigh as he turned the corner onto his block but, then took a sit on a bench across from the building looking in the window.
The first day Ziva had landed the three of them had spent the night in a hotel. Tony has been hesitant to bring her home with him for fear of her leaving again. But, she had shown no such signs through out the time she'd been back and a part of him had trusted in her constant presence. So he'd brought her home with him making her a fixture in Tali's life.
So why was he still doubting that she would stay? He trusted her enough to let her in his daughter's life. He knew Ziva loved Tali and that she would do anything for her. He couldn't imagine a better mother for his Tali. And yet, he doubted her commitment to them. Her place in their lives was constantly in question. What was he afraid of?
He knew what it was. He had known it for a long time. It was a question that had crossed his mind many times before. But, he'd pushed it away repeatedly. What was left of them now? Was Tali the only reason Ziva came back. He had lost her once before. Could he really handle it if she walked away again? And even if she didn't, even if she stayed with them could they be the way they were in Israel? He remembered a conversation he'd had with McGee after her death and he realized that was what it came down to. He was afraid of losing her, yes. And he was afraid of her doing something extreme again. He was also afraid that she wouldn't come to him if something went wrong because she was as stubborn as they come. But, just as much, if not more than these was that he was absolutely terrified that she didn't love him back.
He looked up at the window again and their eyes met. She was standing there watching him and he could see an almost sad expression. Her hair was curly today and she was dressed in a t-shirt and khaki's. Of course he couldn't see the whole outfit but, he could picture what it looked like. She looked a lot like she had the first day he met her. Her hair was much longer this time and that teasing smile was gone however and he felt his heart break a little. The last thing his Ziva needed was another dose of pain. But, that seemed to be all life had in store for her.
His Ziva. He realized he'd said it in his head often. Because that's what she was. That's what she'd always been. He remembered all those times he'd referred to her as his. His ninja, his little israeli, his.
It didn't really matter at the end of the day whether she ever loved him back he realized. Because he loved her. He had waited nearly nine years to have her the first time. And then he lost her again. Now she was here. She was safe and they had a second chance. This time he would make sure she stayed. And if that took the rest of his life? Well, then he loved her enough to fight for her.
With new found determination he rose from the bench and walked into the building. He ran up the stairs cause he didn't think he could handle waiting for the elevator. Maybe, he was a fool but, it didn't really matter. Ziva had been through hell and he really couldn't blame her for reacting the way she did after the life she had. All he wanted to do now was to hold the woman he loved in his arms and wipe that expression off her face. And finally make her feel at home.
He opened the door and walked straight towards her. He could see Ziva's confusion in her eyes as he approached. But, he didn't hesitate. He put both his hands on her shoulders and looked at her for a second. He looked at all the new scars she'd picked up and that haunted look in her eyes. He noticed the slight insecurity in her posture. He let out a sigh then whispered "I really missed you." Then after a second he added on "Zi-vah" in the teasing tone he always used with her and she gave him a little smile and her posture relaxed a little. Then he leaned over and placed a kiss on her forehead before pulling her into a hug. She put her arms around him and leaned her head against his chest. And in his arms she let go of her tears and with them a fraction of the fears that she had been keeping in.
...
The rest of the day Tony didn't bring up the subject. He took Ziva on a walk with him and they sat at that little place they'd sat at all those years ago. Then they ordered a croissant and watched the street, making small talk. He noticed Ziva peeking at him a few times but, he didn't bring up the topic. He hated how anxious she was around him and he wanted her to relax. He realized at some point that he'd never really asked how things were for her when she was on the run. As hard as it was for him he couldn't imagine having to give up Tali now that he'd had her in his life and Ziva had gone through that. The loss of a child was not something one should ever have to go through even if it's just a temporary separation. So he didn't bring it up again. He would at some point. Probably not in the way he had but, more for her benefit. So when he caught her peeking at him again he gave her his famous DiNozzo smile and said " See something you like?" Ziva realized the teasing lilt to his voice had a serious undertone behind it so she replied with a smile of her own before leaning back in her chair a little. She didn't give him a response. He knew the answer. And after a second of just staring at each other Tony laughed a little and said "I know what your trying to do. I won't fall for it again." He shook his head the smile still on his face. He was remembering the first time the two of them had met. She had sat in McGee's chair much the way she had now and given him that look. Ziva gave him an innocent smile then and said "I do not know what you are talking about." Tony looked at her. "Yea. You do." He said then he looked at his watch before saying. "Come on. Time to pick up Tali."
After they brought Tali home from school Tony made supper while Ziva helped Tali out of her cloth and gave her a bath. By the time they were done and Tali had her pajamas on Tony was done with supper. They all sat down around the table and had something to eat. There was a lot of food leftover because Tony and Ziva had both eaten recently and Tali could only eat so much. After that Tony started working and Ziva helped Tali with her homework. Then they played until bed time.
After Ziva tucked Tali in she went back down stairs and found Tony on the couch. He looked up at her and smiled before calling her over. When she sat down he gave her a drink and said "we haven't had a movie night in ages. There are so many new ones I want you to see." Then he went into a detailed explanation of the one they were about to watch.
Ziva settled in and listened, making a few sarcastic comments here and there. This was their routine. Their tit for tat. Tony liked it when she reacted like that and Ziva liked that he understood. There was never any harm done and it was an easy friendship. How could she not fall in love with him? How could he not fall in love with her? But, neither said anything. And the rest of the night was spent between easy friends before they both went to bed next to each other. Neither suggesting a bigger house or separate sleeping arrangements. Both hoping the other would ask for more. As they both drifted off to sleep each one was aware that as close as they were they wanted to be so much closer. But, after everything they'd been through together, for now, what they had was enough. And they were content.
