It was with a heavier heart than he expected that Eomer left Lothiriel in the city. He hadn't quite believed his eyes when she walked into the tent. The girl who had been occupying a corner of his mind since the moment he had run into her, the healer whose kindness was so unwarranted in the face of his outburst, was a Princess, the daughter of his friend! He made a mental note to threaten Gimli's head again next time he saw him for leaving that out.

During the time she was speaking with the others, he couldn't seem to take his eyes off her. Their brief encounter had left him confused and guilty, and those feelings were only amplified by seeing her there as a noble lady rather than a healer. But everything he had meant to say no longer felt like enough. She was a Gondorian princess. Walking up to her and apologizing for his horrendous behavior felt too intimate, like he was breaking some rule or ignoring etiquette.

Only to add more questions to the whirlwind of his thoughts, he had spoken with Pippin as the family said their goodbyes. The hobbit had spoken of how she had been accepted by Shadowfax, how she had dropped everything to aid him in searching for his friend, and that when against all odds they found him, she carried him back to ensure he was cared for quickly. "Etiquette or rules be damned, I must apologize to her." he thought as Pippin walked away back towards the tent. "I cannot face nearly certain death knowing I said nothing."

He had approached her as she made her way back to the city, and though she seemed hesitant at first she accepted his offer. A strange sense of comfort that he had not expected washed over him as they rode together. All the racing thoughts in his mind quieted for a moment and he wondered if she could feel it too. Wrapping his arm about her waist, her leaning against his chest, having her so close all felt strangely natural.

When they reached the top level of the city, he had helped her off Firefoot and she once again stood before him. He knew he let go of her hand just a moment later than would be considered proper, but he couldn't bring himself to care. "Can she feel this?" he wondered as her fingers slipped through his. Storms brewed in her eyes as he spoke to her and though he knew that he may never see her again, this moment would live always in his mind.

Questions raged in his head for which he both desperately wanted answers and could not bear to know them without a certainty that he would return. "Do you know how you confound me so? That your unwarranted kindness has left me baffled, and your presence brought peace I had not known to ask for? Do you know that you were blessed by the Mearas? Or what that could mean if we lived in different times?"

Before he left her side he took her hand once more and pressed it to his lips, trying to convey the whirlwind of emotions in a single gesture.

"May the grace of Elbereth go with you and bring you safely home."

Her words played in his mind and weighed on his heart as he made his way back to the stables outside the Houses of Healing and found a stall for Firefoot while he went to Eowyn. Though he knew that he should not look for meaning where there was indication of none, he couldn't shake the feeling that perhaps she hoped they would meet again as much as he did. "It's dangerous to hope for such things." he thought grimly as he made his way to Eowyn's rooms. She was still sleeping when he entered, and even as he took her hand she did not stir. "Perhaps not having to really face her will make this easier."

"We have to go." he murmured quietly, his head hung low. "The fate of our world is at stake, and I cannot leave them to stand alone. Though I know you would fight to come with us, I cannot help the relief that fills my heart knowing you will remain here. You are healing and being well cared for, and that lends strength to my heart. I do not know to what end we go, nor if we have any hope of victory. But if I should not return I would have you know that I pray you find joy, peace, and purpose."

He squeezed her hand a bit tighter and continued. "May Bema guide you, Eowyn. Though I do not know if it will be in this world or the next, may our paths cross again."

With that, he kissed her forehead and swiftly made his way out of the room and back to the stable. He rode out of the city with lead in his heart. Everything he had ever done in his life, each choice he had made, every action he took felt heavier than ever before. It was true that all he had ever known was war and conflict, but every decision he made was in the interests of those in his care. His eored, Rohan, Middle Earth even. But mostly Eowyn. "I hope she knows it was always for her. That this is too." he thought as he passed the broken gate.

As he approached the encampment where companies prepared to march out, he turned to look back. Candles flickered in some windows, and he wondered briefly if any of them were lighting the room of Lady Lothiriel. He hoped she was able to find the rest she needed. Once again he felt their discussion heavy on his heart, and he tried to crush the nagging desire for explanations. "May sunlight guide and Bema keep you Princess." he thought, and turned away once more.


It was dark as Lothiriel made her way back to her chambers. Luckily it was a brief walk, but she was so rattled that she was barely aware of her surroundings. Their discussion had left her even more baffled than before. He spoke to her with a rawness that she was unaccustomed to, and the way that he looked at her…

She didn't even realize she had entered her room until she shut the door and slumped against it. Lack of sleep and the flood of emotions from saying goodbye to her family and the unsettling encounter with Rohan's king had left her exhausted beyond measure. Her eyes suddenly felt unbearably heavy, and she was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

There was a dark mist creeping closer and closer as she found herself standing on the edge of the city. Swords rang, men were screaming, orcs snarled. She gazed out towards Mordor where the battle for Middle Earth raged, the darkness billowing out over the mountains. There was a loud screech overhead, and as she looked to the sky small white flower petals began to fall. A thunderous boom came from Mordor, and she could see the smoke and lava pouring from Orodruin. The mist was drawn back, seemingly absorbed back into the mountain, and when she looked to Pelennor a single rider galloped madly towards the city.

Lothiriel woke with a bit of a start, but found herself surprisingly rested despite the strange dream. With a stretch, she got up and made her way to the basin in the corner. As she washed her face, she wondered if perhaps it meant something. If it was trying to tell her more, as she was sure her dream about Eowyn had been. But she knew better than to allow herself too much hope. The fate of the world would not be swayed by a dream likely influenced by the whirlwind of experiences the day before. "If I find time, I'll go to the library to do some research. There must be something there that gives some kind of explanation." she thought. "But right now there are more important things to worry about."

When she returned to the Houses, her first order of business was to find Merry. She hadn't seen him since they had returned from their search and she left him with Aragorn, and she wanted to make sure she took the time to check on him. Her first stop was the room she had left him in when they had returned from Pelennor, but she found it empty. Though her initial reaction was concern, she reminded herself that in the aftermath the most important thing was turning as many beds as possible. If Merry was strong enough to stand and move about, the bed would be put to other use.

"Where's the first place a hobbit would go?" she thought, and after a moment she chuckled and made her way towards the gardens. Though the sun still shone overhead, there was a chill in the air. The breeze rustled through the leaves, and carried the smell of blossoms just beginning to bloom. Lothiriel stood frozen a moment, closing her eyes and allowing the peacefulness and calm to wash over her, willing the sunlight to burn away the darkness that had made a home in the corners of her mind.

When she opened them once again, there was no one in sight. Calling out felt as though it would break some sort of spell so instead she wandered through the trees. It didn't take long to find Merry laying in a patch of sunlight, gazing at the sky.

"I thought I might find you here." she said as she approached. He startled and sat up so quickly she nearly chuckled. "May I join you?"

Merry smiled at her. "I would be honored!"

"My lady, I apologize for my hazy memory," he began as she sat down beside him, "but I can think of no other reason why anyone would seek me out and I must ask, are you the one who helped Pippin find me?" he inquired in a quiet voice.

She nodded, turning to look at him. "I wanted to see how you're holding up. You were in pretty bad shape when we found you."

"I'm on the mend, thanks to you. Pippin came to visit me a few times before…" his face faltered a bit. "He told me about you, about all you've done for him and for me. Though I will never be able to repay such a kindness, know you have my gratitude. If ever there is anything I can do for you, I will."

She shook her head.

"Your gratitude is more precious than any favour I might ask. All I would have you do for me is heal."

He smiled agian, though it didn't quite reach his eyes. "I keep wondering if I ever really will. I came here to save my friends, and I've lost so much more than I ever imagined I could. If Middle Earth is saved but they are not, I can't imagine I will ever again be truly whole."

Lothiriel was quiet. She found herself surprised by the simple honesty of his words, and felt them heavy on her heart. Though she knew that the fate of Middle Earth took priority, she also knew with absolute, unwavering certainty that she would never feel complete again. Her mind flashed back to the haunting scream from Eomer King when he found the last of his kin seemingly dead on the field of battle. The sound of agony for a world crashing down in a single instant played in her mind, as her own hung perilously by a string.

"You're right. Whatever comes next will be at a cost, and we may never be complete again. But I am hopeful that we can learn to live with being broken for a chance to leave the world better than we found it."

Merry didn't respond, just laid back on the grass and stared up at the sky. How long they sat there, Lothiriel couldn't tell. But the air was sweet and the sun was high and for those moments, she could allow herself to focus only on that. Eventually though, the grey clouds rolled in and the smell of rain overpowered the flowers.

"We should get back." she said quietly as she stood.

"I think I'll stay a bit longer."

She frowned a bit, but thought better of arguing against his decision.

"Of course. I'll come see you again soon, if that's alright."

He glanced up at her with a hint of a smile. "I will always be glad for the company, Princess. Thank you for sitting with me."

"It was my pleasure. Be careful not to catch cold out here."

She felt a few raindrops as she turned to walk away, and it turned into a light drizzle by the time she returned to the Houses. It somehow felt colder inside than out, as if the city was holding onto the chill to numb itself against all the horror and death within its walls. It settled deep in her bones as she made her rounds, cleaning wounds, changing bandages, making beds, fetching water and medicine. Before she knew it, the sun had dipped below the horizon. There were still a few beds to be checked, and all were asleep save for one. A young Rohirrim boy lay in his cot, gazing up at the ceiling.

"You should try to get some sleep." she said quietly as she approached, sitting down on the small stool next to him. He gave no response, his eyes still fixed above him. His arm was in a sling and the candlelight danced across a dark bruise on his face. "What's your name?" she asked, but once again he remained silent.

"Sometimes, when I was a child, my father would tell me stories. We would go out and gaze at the stars, and my favorite was the story of Kevruil and Urina. Kevruil was a pirate. He spent his days aboard his ship, sailing the ocean in search of treasure and adventure. One day, he and his men sailed ashore for the night. While his crew drank and sang, he sat on the docks admiring the ocean. Suddenly from across the waves, a beautiful voice rang out. The sound enchanted Kevruil, and he joined her in song. They sang together through the night, until the sun rose again the next morning."

She kept her voice low as she told her story, and the boy seemed to relax ever so slightly so she continued.

"He and his crew once again set sail, but each night after everyone had gone to sleep, he would sit on the bow of his ship and wait for Urina to sing to him. This continued for many days and nights, until one day the sound stopped. His heart was broken, and he continued to stand under the stars each night waiting for her voice. He never gave up hope, and one day many months later, it returned. But this time, it was much more faint.

Kevruil began to notice that each night as they sang, a star he had not noticed before shone brighter than all the others, and dimmed as their song faded. He continued to sing with her every night, until one day he left his crew and sailed away across the sea alone in search of her. It is said that he sailed to the edge of the world and beyond to be united with his beloved Urina, and now they dance across the night sky together. Sometimes, if you stand on the beach and stay very quiet, you can still hear them singing."

The candle beside them was burning low as she finished her story. The boy wasn't asleep quiet yet, but he had stopped staring unblinkingly ahead and his eyes were drooping slightly.

"Get some rest." she whispered. Before she could take the candle and leave, he spoke very quietly.

"Holdfa."

She turned back to him.

"Earlier, you asked my name. Holdfa, son of Guthca."

"My name is Lothiriel." she replied with a small smile.

"Thank you, my lady."

She nodded and brushed the hair away from his eyes. "Try to get some sleep, Holdfa." she whispered. He nodded as she grabbed the candle from the table. As she left, she saw his eyes flicker shut as sleep finally overtook him.

Though her original plan was to try to make it to the library that evening, she decided as she left the Houses that it would be a task better suited for a well rested mind. She still desperately wanted answers, and it was becoming more difficult to push that need aside. "I'll go first thing tomorrow." she thought as she opened the door to her chambers. Even though her body was exhausted, her mind was still reeling a bit so she grabbed her journal and flipped to a new page. Slowly the ink bloomed across the paper, revealing the half lit face of Holdfa as he stared blankly past her. She sent a prayer with each stroke of her pen that he would find the rest and peace that he so desperately needed. With a sad sigh, she shut the book and crawled into bed, allowing sleep to claim her as well.