Chapter 17: Defiance 25th March 1996

"Settle down everyone!". Sister Michael called out to the students milling around for the assembly to begin.

It was another assembly where there was no singing. It would just be Sister Michael addressing the whole school. The four girls stood in their usual spot, Jenny and Aisling accompanying them as had become the norm in recent weeks.

"Good morning". Sister Michael spoke to them again.

"Good morning Sister Michael".

"Very good. The enthusiasm has drained compared to what it was, a good effort from you all".

Her comment bought a snigger out of Michelle, whilst the others all had smiles across their face at the humorous outburst from the headmistress.

"I begin this morning with news that I think we all hoped and prayed for. Our very own James Maguire has woken and is communicating".

Excited whispers ran through the ranks of the students, many turning their looks upon the gang and especially upon Erin. They were still smiling, Erin with a tear in her, and the Sister gazed upon them fondly as she'd done so many times before. James might not have been there in person but the effect of the girls from him waking up was very obvious.

"He is starting a long and painful recovery, but we hope to see him again within the corridors of Our Lady Immaculate before too long. I know this has been a difficult time for his close friends and I know that they will also join me in thanking all of you for your support".

The girls all nodded to the Sister, receiving the softened looks of all of the other students before the assembly continued. There were a few other notices but nothing that concerned them, and the rest of the assembly became quite boring. They were glad when it was over, none more so than Clare, who'd been wanting to ask Orla a question for ages.

"How are ye still standing Orla?" She asked as they walked to their first class.

"Ach don't worry yerself Clare, I'm cracker, so I am".

Orla's highs of Saturday and her winning ride on 'The Wee English Fella', were replaced by Sunday's lows of her ride at Dundalk. She'd got no further than the second fence as the older horse she rode suddenly tensed before jumping and went through the fence, leaving even a talented jockey like her absolutely no chance. Joe and Sarah were extremely concerned the moment they saw her go down, but she was up and laughing a second later. Paul later told them that her reaction was as he expected; she'd actually enjoyed falling off as much as she had winning.

"Still, it must have hurt!" Clare continued.

"Not really". Orla replied. "It was a bit scary for a wee second, but it was alright ye know. I wouldn't mind fallin' off again".

"Yeah, well not in a race Orla. You'll give Joe a fuckin' heart attack". Michelle added her thoughts.

"I'm glad yer not hurt". Erin interjected. "Can't have another of us in Hospital".

Hums of agreement rang out from around the group. The classroom was soon in view, at the end of the corridor that they were on, but they also noted the significant obstacle that was in their path. Moira O'Keefe. The moment their eyes found hers, her face turned to thunder and gathering her little group, they blocked the corridor.

"Look at this, it's the posse of pussies". Michelle sneered at her.

"Speak for yourself". Moira sneered back, arms folded. "Who the fuck do ye think ye are?".

"Now come on guys, there's no need for this". Clare attempted to mediate.

"Shut up little miss shit yer pants!" Moira shouted back at her.

"OI!" Michelle shouted. "Don't ye fuckin' talk to her like that!"

The two girls stepped forward, both having to be held back by their friends, Erin and Clare taking a firm grip on Michelle. Moira was doing her usual act of goading and giving her what she wanted was the wrong thing to do.

"So the English bastard speaks…". Moira suddenly turned on Erin. "… I bet yer wee heart is feeling a lot better…".

"It is thank ye Moira. Yer lucky it's not yer Danny in that Hospital bed".

"Is that a threat Quinn?"

"It will be if I see him again". Michelle came to her friend's aid.

"You's don't know what yer getting yerselves into. Ye mess with me, ye mess with all the Scanlon boys".

With her final warning, Moira pushed her way past the gang off to the lesson she was in, thankfully not with them. Michelle contemplated sticking a leg out to trip her up, but a look from Erin persuaded her not to. The last thing they needed was to have a full-blown punch up in the corridor and though she didn't doubt that Michelle would win, they could do without another hospitalisation if things got really ugly.


James didn't know what to think as Joe monologued about his mother. Hearing her coming back, breaking down over seeing him in the state he was… he struggled to find the right emotion to respond with. The letter hit him hard, but the feelings were stored away, his conscience dominated by only his love for Erin since. But the long-buried feelings rose again, and James could only lie-down in confusion.

Did she really care again?

Was it another act to get his help with the business?

Could he really go back to London with her?

Would she force him?

"Yer Aunt phoned her when ye woke up. Yer ma… she wasn't sure whether you'd want to see her, so she's stayed in London". Joe informed him.

Of course she had. Of course she wouldn't have sacrificed the business for him. But then, could he blame her? She didn't want to live in Derry or even really be in Derry and in many ways, he could sympathise with her. Even if it was his home now, judging by his own injuries, it was far from paradise.

"I… I see".

"She was genuine James. The woman was heartbroken, so she was".

"Really? After the letter… I…".

Joe let him sob for a minute or so, James letting out the emotional turmoil from the corners of his eyes. A firm hand came to rest on his shoulder, and he would be lying if he said he didn't turn his head slightly, so it rested on the hand.

"It's alright to be upset ye know". Joe spoke in a quiet voice, almost a whisper. "I remember that letter and what she said".

"How can she…". James couldn't stop the sobs.

"We all make mistakes James. Yer ma included".

"She disowned me… how am I meant to forgive her?"

A loud sigh emanated from Joe. He feared this would be James's reaction, question upon question. It reignited old emotions within him too, ones that were put aside years before and should never have been touched again. But when the Englishman sat crying into his hand, there was only one story that could be told that would help him.

"I fell out with my own mother too…". Joe sighed again, perching on the side of James's bed. "… when I was fourteen, we had a blazin' argument in the house. My da was at work, he always was ye see, and I was wantin' to start workin' too, leave school and start bringin' money in".

Joe stopped as the emotions took over. Looking at James, he saw a wish for him to continue the story to him, so after another minute he did.

"She wanted me to stay at school… I could have done, my grades were good, so they were. But I refused and put my foot down. We argued about it for hours one Saturday and in the end, she just… kicked me out and forced me to find my own way. My da didn't even try and stop it… the pair of them just left me".

He remembered the afternoon it happened and the immediate feelings of desolation and isolation when he settled down in an abandoned flat that night. He spent two years sleeping on an old mattress in a friend's shed until he had the money to be able to buy a place of his own. They were dark days in the life of Joe McCool, long before he met Marie and developed a reputation as a devilish card player.

"My da died not long after, when I was about twenty. I went to the funeral but ma… she wouldn't speak to me and I was too stubborn to speak to her. When it was her time to go too… I…". Joe, pausing, let out a breath. "… I never reconciled with her. By the time I convinced myself to do it, it was too late".

The day his mother died, he'd raced to get to her hospital bed and make peace with her before she made peace with the world. But he never made it in time. She passed away peacefully two minutes after he'd got to her side, watching on with Colm as their mother drifted away. She'd never been on bad terms with his brother and Joe could only envy him when they stood watching her being lowered into the grave.

"I'm sorry". James breathed out a reply, noticing the sorrow on Joe's face, an expression he'd never seen off the man in the time he'd known him.

"Don't be son. What I'm trying to tell ye, is that no matter what yer ma may have said or done… ye still family and family can forgive. Don't fall into the same trap I did and run out of time".

When a man like Joe McCool gave out free advice, James knew he should listen to it. Hearing of Joe's distress at never making amends with his own mother struck a chord within James. She might have disowned him, not wanted him in her life but when his life was on the line, she still came and cried for him. Truly she'd never let him go and he'd never let her go either.

"Thank you Joe". He put his hand on the one the older man left on his shoulder, and the two shared a smile. "In a couple of days… when I feel ready… I want to talk to her".


School was over for the day and the girls were walking into the hospital to see James, bus journey done and dusted. It was a warm late March afternoon, the sun peeking through the clouds and the girls comfortable without coats.

"Fuck me what a day". Michelle said as they started up the Hospital stairs.

"Why can't we take the lift?" Orla quizzed them, and not for the first time on the matter of the lift.

"For the fiftieth time Orla, Clare's scared of the lift". Erin frustratingly pointed out.

"It won't eat ye Clare".

"I know that Orla!" Clare hissed. "I just… what happens if we get stuck and then just… die in there".

Clare's dark thought ceased any attempt at conversation for a minute. It wasn't until they reached the door to the intensive care unit that they all started talking again.

"Moira was being more a dick than usual today". Michelle started.

"She's just a parasite Michelle". Erin added stubbornly. "As long as we don't stoop to her level then we'll be fine. Just ignore her".

"I'll knock her feckin' teeth out". Michelle grumbled.

"No! No ye won't Michelle, you'll get into trouble!" Clare fretted.

"I don't give a fuck Clare. She's always mouthin' about James and… ye know that fuckin' shithead Danny and her being together".

"You're always mouthin' about James!" The diminutive blonde retorted.

"Yeah well… I'm allowed, so I am. He's me cousin".

Clare didn't dignify Michelle with a verbal response, instead rolling her eyes in her direction. They really didn't need to kick up a fuss with Moira, especially in their current position of having support from most of the teachers. Those were bridges that didn't need to be burnt and causing fights around school would set fire to them very quickly.

It would be the first time that the girls, sans Erin, would be speaking to the wee English fella since the incident. They all held their own feelings about the situation. Orla, being the rock of the group, had only let go of her emotions properly the once, but she was elated just the same as they were. She wanted to tell James about her riding and about his horse, filling him in with everything he'd missed as well as Harriet's offer when it came to going to England to ride horses. Clare had never been good with emotions, certainly the negative ones, and being able to talk to James again fixed a part of her that broke weeks before. James was a caring friend to her, she remembered what he'd done for her at the talent show when the group were breaking apart. They could have all left her and moved on, and perhaps they would have done if James hadn't gone to sit and comfort her. Having him back again gave her a confidant to express her fears to, knowing she would not be judged or have them outed to the public when it came to James. For Michelle, as much as she'd missed teasing him, knowing that he would make a recovery and there would be no lasting damage had stopped her from having a breakdown. She'd hidden it well from the others, or as well as could be expected, but there were nights she'd wake up crying from nightmares. Nightmares about what would happen if he died and what would happen to the rest of them. They'd survived for years without James but whether they could survive without him now that he'd entrenched himself in their lives was the nightmare she often faced. But the dark clouds around her mind dissipated because she knew he would be alright.

"James!" Erin shouted and ran to him.

He was alone in the room for once. Mary and Geraldine were both unavailable to make the visit in the afternoon, but it wouldn't have mattered anyway. After the morning's conversations with the cops and then Joe, James was knackered and went to sleep, only waking ten minutes before they arrived.

"My beautiful Erin". He chuckled to himself as she threw her lips onto his.

"Christ, weeks later and I still want to boke…". Michelle huffed.

They all laughed at her, James included, and she even broke into laughter herself at the comment. She would never properly admit it, but she didn't really mind it all anymore and in the weeks without him being there, she'd seen just how much Erin cared for him. It wasn't just a flash in the pan teenage romance, there was devotion from the two of them to each other. And they were perfect for each other too; they were both absolute eejits.

"I think you might have to move Erin. I don't think you're the only one who wants my attention today". James joked.

She chuckled and removed herself from his side for a minute. Clare was the next one who went forward, and she put her head on his shoulder as he put an arm, a still healing but rapidly so arm, around her.

"I've missed ye James". She sniffled.

"I've missed you too Clare. I'm sorry… I know I've probably worried you more than usual". He hummed.

"Is that even possible?" Michelle snorted, earning a glare from Erin.

"Yer alive and back, that's more important". Clare smiled as she pulled away.

As Clare moved away, Orla darted forward much quicker and dived onto the empty spot on James's bed, being shouted at by all of them except him. He would be lying if he said her jumping onto the bed didn't cause him to flare up in pain, but he hid the agony from his own delight of having Orla put her head on his chest.

"If it isn't Ireland's most talented jockey". He grinned.

"Ach James! I have SO much to tell ye!" She almost bellowed at him from his chest. "But more than anything it is absolutely cracker to speak to ye again!"

In the same way he'd put his arm around Clare, James wrapped the arm around Orla, stroking the back of her hair as she rested on him. He shared a smile with Erin, who managed not to be jealous of the scene but only because it was Orla. Joe had hinted to him that the group's strength rested in her and the way she stood up to be counted, maturing into the young woman they never thought she could be. Apart from James, who knew that would have been exactly how Orla would have acted.

"I look forward to hearing about it". He replied to her after a minute or so, though Joe had already told him about the racing.

Orla disentangled herself from him and went back to standing next to Clare, putting an arm around the little blonde. It was a touching scene, the two of them beaming wildly in James's direction, Clare wiping the errant tears that had dripped down her face. In doing so, he was caught out when Michelle sat down on the bed and occupied the same position as Orla, bursting into tears on his chest.

"This is… unexpected". James said softly.

"Wise up James…". Michelle replied through the sobs. "… it's been fucking horrible without ye".

He would not have ever considered Michelle making him cry in a way that didn't involve horrific abuse thrown at him, but a few stray tears made their way down James's face when she opened up. The vulnerable and caring sides of his cousin were rarely scene, being there only for glimpses when her guard went down. Having her crying on his chest about how bad life was without him gave him the rarest glimpse of all; both of the sides in operation at the same time. The real Michelle Mallon was cuddled into him at that moment and that was the Michelle he loved the most.

"I'm sorry I haven't been there for you Michelle". He told her honestly.

"It's me who should be sorry…". She flicked the tears away as her head lifted off his chest. "… ye were right about Danny. It was all a lie… he's been with Moira the whole time….".

James cast his mind back in time. He'd remembered Michelle not being in the house and having his chance to warn Deirdre and Martin. Only his own detective work led him to the Scanlon's address and then to the best place the two of them could wait when she'd come away heartbroken. Hearing the name Moira made him grimace slightly; he'd have rather it been Rosemary West with Danny. Moira was an evil girl and being in a relationship with one of the infamous Scanlon's sounded just about right for her.

"There's no need to be sorry Michelle".

He put his hand onto her shoulder, like Joe had put his hand onto James's shoulder earlier, and she smiled her thanks at him.

They stood together as a four next to his bedside. It was a scene he'd almost forgotten. The four girls stood there smiling at him, ready to take on the world together.

"The gang's back together". He announced quietly, smiling.

"Aye so it is". Erin laughed and looked along the line of friends.

Now they were all there though, he knew that the time was right to mention about the cops. He'd have to talk with them about it as much as he needed to discuss it with his mother. Kathy was for another day; the girls were here now and there was no shying away from the difficult conversation.

"I… I need to talk to you… to all of you".

The ghosts of a previous conversation came back to haunt the room. Unwittingly, James had used the same words he had done on the day of Bill Clinton's visit. He could see the fear in Erin's eyes immediately. Her whole existence had once hinged on those words, her heart would have shattered had he not returned that day. He couldn't do that to her…

"The Police…". He started, coming to a stop as the words caught at the back of his throat. "… they think I should leave…".

"Fuck no! Yer staying here!" Michelle immediately fired back up to her usual self.

"Aye, Derry's yer home James!" Clare pointed out mid cack attack.

He expected that reaction but that wasn't even the half of it. As the detectives told him, the problem existed outside of Derry's boundaries…

"Not just Derry… they want me to go back to London and live with mum".

They all knew of Kathy's return and her sincerity. Erin knew first-hand from her chat with James's mum that she did truly care for him. And that made her worry more. Kathy might have said that she wouldn't take James away from her, but now the cops were advising him to go back to her, would her view hold?

"Why?" Orla couldn't fathom it.

"They've said it's not safe for me here Orla… that whoever did…". He pointed to his legs and held his arms up. "… this… might attack me again".

"They fuckin' won't because they'll be floatin' down the fuckin' Foyle when I find them!" Michelle interjected.

"We'll protect ye James!" Orla stated.

"We aren't the cops Orla… we can't protect him!" Clare offered an opposing view, the others all coming to stare at her. "What!? I'm stating the obvious. If they're telling James to go, we can't stop them!"

Michelle looked about ready to throw Clare out of the window and was absolutely seething when she spoke to her.

"Since when do we do what the RUC want! James stays here, don't fuckin shite the tights because a couple of cop fucks with a badge think differently".

"Exactly". James spoke up in agreement, causing them to turn their stares on him. "That's why I'm not going anywhere".

Michelle flashed him a smile at his defiance of the cops, but the others looked at him confused. Erin, who'd started to cry whilst the others argued, stopped her tears and frowned. If James was in danger, then leaving would be the safest thing to do, but he didn't want to leave. Why wouldn't he want to be safe?...

"Do you really think I could leave you girls? Any of you?" He asked them.

They all started to grin at his words. He might have been in grave danger, but he wasn't going to let anything get in the way of their friendship. That was the mark of a true friend… and a reckless eejit.

"But what about yer safety?" Clare timidly responded.

"Clare, I would happily take ten more beatings if it meant waking up to find the four of you standing there". His chivalry brought a tear to the eye. "I will always be there for you all, no matter what. I can't just leave now… this is my home. And… I've also made a promise to some other people to protect one of you a little bit more…".

He turned his head to Erin, and she couldn't stop herself, and ran back towards him. Their lips were on each other's in an instant, retracing their previous connections and sharing the warmth they felt for each other. He still had his promises to her parents and Joe. He was going to be the one who looked after Erin, hopefully until his final breaths, and the rest of the world could try and stop him, but he would never give in.

The power of their love would always win against the power of hate.


When the detectives returned the following day, they did so in the afternoon, with all of the girls present. Mary and Deirdre were present too, Geraldine unavailable again, and the cops weren't prepared for the vast show of defiance they'd walked into.

"Mr Maguire…". The Inspector cautioned. "… I urge ye to rethink this".

They were incredulous. Expecting his raw emotion the day before, the cops believed he would have changed his mind after sleeping on the knowledge they'd instilled in the lad. Instead, James insisted that he stayed in Derry and didn't go back to London as they thought best for him.

"My decision is final. Derry is my home".

"As we explained yesterday, we do not have the manpower to keep ye protected. You are in a hostile environment and…". The Constable added before being interrupted.

"Hostile environment!?" Mary challenged them. "James is loved and cared for Constable… that boy is part of my family, I will not have ye describe it as a hostile environment!".

"Mrs Quinn…". The Inspector took over once more. "… we are not for one minute suggesting that yer own family is hostile…".

"Aye I would hope you weren't!" She interrupted again. "James is staying so he is, ye can't do nothin'".

The detectives both sighed. They wished they could force the move upon James, but it would be a futile and forlorn move. The amount of people present by his side in the room told them a lot more about James than they knew, but it told them all they needed to know. He wouldn't be leaving Derry, let alone Ireland, anytime soon.

"I appreciate you are concerned Inspector". James addressed the man. "But I can't leave Derry. These girls… they need me, and I need them".

He looked up to Erin, her little hand was in his and a look of love lingered between the pair. The other girls all shared in the looks, not with the same look as the lovers shared but one of a different love. The love between friends.

"I can see you have a strong family Mr Maguire, but we are talking about your life. Would you all not rather see him safe, away from trouble?" The Inspector asked them.

"Why don't you take yer baton and shove it up yer h-".

"Michelle!" Deirdre cautioned her daughter. "Sorry Inspector".

"That's quite alright Mrs Mallon". He replied. "Tensions are high, it's understandable".

"It doesn't mean that ye will never see James again". The Constable explained. "You can visit him in London and in the future, he might be able to return to Derry".

It might have been possible in the future and to the Constable it would be the most hopeful scenario for them, but he didn't understand that Derry was James's future. There might have been a future for him in London, back home with Kathy, but it wasn't the future he wanted. He couldn't accept a future without being given funny looks for being English and without Erin by his side.

"His future is with me Inspector". Erin proudly held her head high, James looking up to her adoringly. "Ye can't just send him off to London. I won't let ye".

The girls all held their heads high too and Mary and Deirdre raised their eyebrows in the detective's direction. They might have thought they could talk them all around, but coming up against a fired up member of the Quinn family, their chances in an argument were very slim.

"With all due respect Miss Quinn, ye don't know what could happen if he stays. Someone did this to James and there is no saying they won't do so again".

"We…". She paused to gently lift their hands. "… are not leaving each other. We know the risks, but we face them together as a couple... and as a family".

The detectives were beaten again. There were only so many times you could run into a brick wall. It would be stupid to try any further.

"Are ye absolutely sure about this Mr Maguire?" The Constable questioned for the final time.

"Yes… sir". He coughed slightly, prompting Erin to pick up his cup of water and help him drink it. "This is what I want".

Reaffirming their own stance before departing, the detectives left with their mission unaccomplished. They would continue the investigation for another couple of days, but with James unable to provide them with any leads as to who the perpetrators could be, it would remain unsolved.

The three attackers remained at large… but ever so close.