how to get kicked out of class, step one: argue about cannibalism

Rating: T
Pairing: Newton Geiszler/Hermann Gottlieb

Summary: "Hermann and Newt's arguments finally get them kicked out of class; doesn't mean they can't argue out if class."


"—absolutely not!" Hermann yells, glaring daggers at him, knuckles white on his cane, which he's gripping tightly, despite sitting down. "Geißler, that—"

"Out," interrupts Mr. Hansen, in a tone that he only takes when he is at the end of his rope. "Mr. Gottlieb, Mr. Geißler, you may rejoin us when you are ready to stop disrupting my class." The pointed look at Hermann makes him flush.

Newton at least has the decency to look shame-faced as he vacates his seat, following Hermann out of the room, silent. For a moment, Hermann thinks that he's finally shut up, but the assumption proves to be untrue, as he says, "Okay, but I'm right—I mean, technically speaking."

Hermann feels his lip twitch. "Really?" he asks, "you're attempting to continue this conversation—this argument—even after you got us sent out of the room for it?"

Newton scowls at him darkly. "Well, if you recall," he says, peevishly, "you started shouting first, so really, it's all your fault, really, Hermann." Hermann purses his lips.

"Don't call me that," he snaps, and the other rolls his eyes.

"Well, what else am I meant to call you, dude? It's your given name," he complains, spreading his hands and affecting an innocent look. "It could be worse, really—I could be calling you, uh…Herms or something, so be glad."

"Oh yes, I am so grateful," Hermann says, deadpan.

The other's scowl grows. "You could've just accepted that I was right and saved us this mess," he whines, fingers already fidgeting with the hem of his shirt despite the fact that they've only been in the hall for two, maybe three minutes.

Hermann sighs. "Your argument is ridiculous," he points out. "Obviously, as part of the animal kingdom, human flesh constitutes as meat."

"Yeah, maybe biologically, but philosophically—" Newton's gesticulating wildly again—"humans are different from animals, at least in the social consciousness."

"Since when have you paid that any mind?" Hermann shoots back.

The other drags a hand through his hair and lets out a frustrated huff. "You—why am I arguing with you about this? You're wrong. So just—just sit there in your wrongness and be wrong."

Hermann raises a brow. "That sounds suspiciously like admitting defeat…Newton."

(They aren't allowed back into class)

(On the upside, though, Hermann learns that the other is quite adorable when flustered)

(However, the fact that the conversation is about whether or not a cannibalistic diet, without the consumption of animal meats, constitutes as vegetarianism, does not fail to make a few of their classmates skittish around them for a while afterwards)