As I have posted a couple of chapters in the past couple of days, make sure you have read them before you read this one.

Interlude 2: Mrs. Collins: A Bird in Hand

The Bennet sisters are fools. While I love my dear friend Eliza, she may be the biggest fool of them all.

I give the elder two Miss Bennets leave to be a bit foolish given their beauty. A woman may rightfully have a little leeway for a time if she can attract attention though her appearance without any effort. However, by twenty and beyond she must grow wise and deliberate, rather than indulge her stubbornness and folly. Dreaming of love for a little while is all well and good, but eventually each woman must do what she can to gain a secure future. That means she should analyze the marital possibilities around her and pursue a prudent match with a man that she can secure.

It is not as if Eliza (and Jane also) does not know that all the comforts on which she relies could be snatched away at any moment by the passing of her father. She depends on him overmuch when she should know, must know, that a woman is to leave the home of her mother and father and cleave to a husband instead. That is just how this life is.

I thought Eliza had it in her mind to try to secure Colonel Forster's interest when, at the party given by my parents, she encouraged him to give a ball. This was subtly flirtatious. However, to my surprise it was at this juncture that I felt hope that Eliza might attract an even more superior suitor, as I first observed Mr. Darcy's interest in her, attending to their conversation in a fixed way.

Mr. Darcy may not be the most pleasant fellow and is decidedly odd, but he has the means to give her a life of leisure and provide bountifully for her children. He is also quite handsome and there is something to be said for a man who is mostly silent.

Eliza's arch manner toward him was obviously, at least to me, one of disdain but fortunately for her Mr. Darcy did not seem to understand that.

I took the opportunity to have her display her talents for him before she could do something to make him think the better of his admiration. She always gives pleasing performances on the piano forte and I thought this might further incline Mr. Darcy toward her.

Then, as she was playing, I had a word with my father. I asked, "Papa, if the opportunity should arise, could you encourage Mr. Darcy toward Eliza?" He was quick to agree as I expected, for nothing gives my father more delight than to help pair up likely matches, though he has quite despaired of doing the same for me.

My father did his best, by suggesting that Mr. Darcy dance with Eliza. It was clear to me that the man was willing, yet Eliza snubbed him once again. Mr. Darcy must be a glutton for punishment or must truly be enamored with her.

The following day I discussed Eliza's prospects with her, first saying, "I think you have gained a worthy admirer."

"Yes," she said dreamily and then proceeded to regale me with her thoughts about Lieutenant Wickham. I was flummoxed, unable to understand how Lieutenant Wickham could have turned Eliza's head. Eliza seemed as silly as young Lydia when she told me, "Oh how I admire Lieutenant Wickham's person, countenance, air and walk above all the other officers!"

She would not listen to me when I tried to explain to her the folly of such an aspiration, "Eliza why do you wish to gain his fancy? Mr. Wickham is not even the best of who the militia has to offer in a potential husband. Colonel Forster is a vastly superior choice to Mr. Wickham as he has property and a higher rank combined with good character. If you desire a military man, it is he who you should wish to catch, not Lieutenant Wickham."

Eliza laughed at me and offered, while clasping my hand in hers and looking at me most earnestly, "He is far too old, almost as old as my papa, but he might do for you. Dear Charlotte, if your heart is engaged, I wish you good fortune in gaining Colonel Forster's approbation."

I knew as well as she that it was hopeless. If I had any belief that he might be obtainable, I would have surely done that, but as with many men his eyes slid past me to her when we were together.

Eliza babbled on and on about Mr. Wickham, telling me, "Mr. Wickham would be a good match for me if only Mr. Darcy had not stolen what was rightfully his."

I knew it was hopeless to argue with her about that subject. I thought that if Eliza knew that Mr. Darcy was under her power, she might consider him further. I told her, quite plainly, "Can you not see that Mr. Darcy is enamored of you? You must act while he feels this way and secure him."

Again she laughed, "Perhaps you need spectacles, Charlotte. Mr. Darcy only stares at me to find fault with me; remember, I am not handsome enough to tempt him."

After Eliza's sojourn at Netherfield, I kept my opinions about her potential suitors to myself. It was clear that Colonel Forster was no longer an object, as everyone had heard he was to be married, but I still thought she had an opportunity to catch Mr. Darcy.

The day before the ball, Eliza again discussed with me her admiration of Mr. Wickham. She dreamily told me of her hope he would solicit her hand for the first two dances at the Netherfield Ball, telling me, "I shall be certain to dress my best for then he cannot help but wish to dance with me."

I held my tongue. If she dressed in her finest, it would allow Mr. Darcy to better admire her, too.

Given Eliza's prior manner toward Mr. Darcy, I was pleased that she did not refuse his request to dance at the Netherfield Ball. However, I was fearful about what she would do during the set.

I did my best to encourage Eliza toward Mr. Darcy, saying "I dare say you will find him very agreeable."

Obstinate, headstrong girl that she is, she replied, "Heaven forbid! - That would be the greatest misfortune of all! - To find a man agreeable whom one is determined to hate! - Do not wish me such an evil."

Her obviously ridiculous attitude silenced me, but when Mr. Darcy approached to claim her hand, I felt I must make one last effort to save her from herself.

Therefore, I whispered, "Do not be a simpleton and allow your fancy for Mr. Wickham make you appear unpleasant in the eyes of a man of ten times his consequence!"

However, being the foolish, stubborn miss that she is, Eliza gave me no reply besides a look that said, I shall do as I wish.

I know she wanted to dance with Lieutenant Wickham and there is nothing wrong with that. Likely if he had been present and she had danced with him, she would have raised the green-eyed monster in Mr. Darcy and that can be an effective technique. But to truly prefer someone with no means is bullheaded indeed.

The next day, I was shocked to discover that Eliza's cousin Mr. Collins had made an offer to her and been soundly refused. While I could understand that she was perhaps not expecting his address, I did not understand her lack of prudence.

I could understand Eliza passing up Mr. Collins's offer if she thought she could secure Mr. Darcy, but to just reject Mr. Collins for no reason other than his personality was quite foolish. He has a respectable position with a caring patroness and the expectation of far more. There is a rightness in him seeking to make amends to his cousins which shows a rather decent character.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush; here Mr. Collins was the bird in her hand and the two in the bush were Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley. I do not fault Eliza for giving up any opportunity at Mr. Bingley for Jane; he is just looking for the opportunity of alighting in Jane's hand. I do fault Jane for failing to extend said hand.

I tried, time and again, to get Jane to show Mr. Bingley how much she desired to become Mrs. Bingley. While there was no time to speak to her alone about it, the day after the assembly, on another occasion when she and Eliza came to see me, I stole a few moments alone with her (when Eliza was in the necessary) to tell Jane, "You must flirt and encourage Mr. Bingley to be in love with you."

But Jane told me, "I barely know him yet; should I truly encourage him if I do not yet know if he would suit?"

I responded, "He has five thousand a year and is handsome. What more do you need?"

She shrugged and the next moment Eliza rejoined us, ensuring that this conversation was at an end.

Knowing the closeness of the elder Miss Bennets, I repeatedly suggested to Eliza that she encourage her sister to secure Mr. Bingley, but she continued to focus on her idea that Jane should do nothing until she was sure of her feelings, stating that Jane's partiality was something that Mr. Bingley being its object, he should find out himself. This was obviously a ridiculous idea, but it was clear Eliza was not going to help Jane as she should.

After they were in company more, I again suggested to Jane when we had a moment alone, "Mr. Bingley clearly admires you. You have been remiss to not yet secure him. Surely you know by now that he would make a most amiable husband."

She told me, "I may make more of an effort if he has not proposed by the time of the Netherfield Ball. My mother is already making much out of nothing, thinking he holds the ball as a complement to me. She is already planning our nuptials and discussing my future felicity with anyone who will listen. If you think my mother is insufferable now, imagine how much worse she would become if I showed more interest. She has driven all of my previous suitors away. A fine line must be walked when she is around."

"Then, do not show him encouragement when she is near, only when her eyes are elsewhere."

"Do you not know that my mother has spies everywhere? She will learn of anything I do from your mother, Mrs. Long and all the rest. I know I should have made my interest clearer when I was at Netherfield, but I hardly felt or looked my best when suffering from that abominable cold. Mr. Bingley was ever so accommodating and solicitous, he would make a fine husband indeed, but with his sisters and Lizzy so near, well I could not see how to do it. But if I had, even now I might be engaged."

"Why Jane, from how Eliza tells it, all this time you have been hesitating while you attempt to make out your feelings but that is not it at all, is it?" Not giving her time to respond I added, "You are just as mercenary as the rest of us, are you not?"

"Perhaps," she gave a sly smile, it was almost a smirk, "but do not say anything to Lizzy. She sees the best in me, and I would hate to disappoint her. She is always going on about how she wishes to only marry for the deepest love and assumes I feel likewise. How she can believe that circulating library tripe about true love is beyond me. And I could certainly love Mr. Bingley; it would not be difficult at all."

It was only the vagaries of luck that her hesitation to extend her hand earlier allowed him to escape to London and remain there. Still, Jane told me she thought she might be able to finagle an invitation to London from the Gardiners and find him again by calling upon his sisters. I dare say if this does not work out, she will act more quickly the next time an eligible suitor crosses her path.

I will not even place Mr. Wickham in the bush. I think he may be a lech, a leech, sucking what he can get from whomever is available. In any event, whatever he may be, he isn't something to pick up; he is a diversion, a distraction, vermin and nothing more. The rumors he has spread about Mr. Darcy only show how lacking in good character Mr. Wickham is.

Eliza is stubbornly blind. How could she not see that Mr. Darcy favored her when he made an effort to converse with her while not bothering with any other women save of his own party at previous gatherings? How could she not see the honor granted to her when Mr. Darcy asked her to dance at the Netherfield Ball? How could she not see how he kept staring in her direction during the dinner at said ball? Why does she speak of love when she is blind to the man in front of her who is already half in love and would be the full way there with the barest of encouragement from her?

I do not regret securing Mr. Collins after making sure Eliza was certain of her rejection of him. She practically pushed him off on me when my family hosted the Bennets and her cousin for dinner (as I had suggested to my mother). Mr. Collins needed some encouragement which was easy enough for me to provide. When he sought me out the next morning and I saw him approaching, it was easy to set out down the lane to "accidentally" encounter him. If I "accidentally" brushed my bosom against the arm that he offered to me, he at least understood from that action that I was his for the asking. Jane should have acted similarly towards Mr. Bingley; if she had, she might already be Mrs. Bingley.

Mr. Collins is biddable; this is clear to see. As time goes on, I am certain I can make him defer to my wishes as he currently defers to Lady Catherine's wishes. He is not a strong man, but that is hardly a character flaw for my purposes. He wanted to fancy himself in love and I fulfilled this desire most easily and thereby obtained my life's goal of marrying and gaining my own home.

Although Eliza does not deserve it, I will still endeavor to help flush Mr. Darcy from the bush so that he may fly toward her. It is only right to help a dear friend, whether or not that friend acknowledges needing help, which she certainly never would.

Mr. Collins has certainly proved useful in this. In all his prattling about Lady Catherine, I learned that not only is she the aunt of Mr. Darcy, but that Mr. Darcy is expected to visit her just before Easter. So, while Mr. Darcy may no longer be at Netherfield, it is not too late. I only wish I could do something to further Jane's hope of Mr. Bingley.

Just after our engagement, I started hinting to Mr. Collins that he would be well rewarded should he grant my desire of having my father, sister and Eliza visit me in the spring. I also began to work on Elizabeth accepting such an invitation. The idea was so firmly implanted in Mr. Collins's mind by the time we were to wed that it had already been decided that the visit would take place in March and I had no hesitation in telling Eliza the night before my wedding that I was counting on her to visit with them then.

Being married to Mr. Collins has not been a surprise. He as just as unpleasant a husband as I imagined him to be, but everything he promised has come to pass and it has been easy to bend him to my will, bit by bit. We are frequent guests at Rosings and I have hope that our devotion shall result in increased patronage as Lady Catherine has other livings to bestow. I have limited my interactions with my husband as much as possible, selecting a parlor facing the garden for myself while he has dominion over the one facing the lane, encouraging Mr. Collins to work in said garden telling him how healthful the exercise is, urging him to visit his parishioners regularly and to work on his sermons in either the front parlor or his study. Mr. Collins is grateful that I allow him marital intimacies twice a week; he seems to have the impression that I am most generous to indulge him so frequently.

I am depending upon Eliza's visit, but more for her benefit than mine, at least at first. Perhaps I can still help Eliza secure Mr. Darcy, even against her will. In this way, she can have a life of leisure.

If I can orchestrate such a match, Mr. Collins and I could well benefit from Mr. Darcy's patronage in the church. There is no harm in that, since she stands to gain so much more than us. I just need to figure out how to make Eliza open her hand.