A/N: Hope you like it. As always please review! I'm starting work on my other story, so if you have any ideas let me know! Thanks
Chapter 16: Seeing Things
The night was somber. Daryl took watch wanting to be alone; he also had no idea how to approach Riley. He didn't know what to say, or what not to say, so with a last look in her direction he headed towards the door. As he passed he shared a look with Rick who nodded and gave the man a pat on the back, he then watched sadly as the hunter disappeared. His eyes then scanned back over to Riley, who was still holding the baby; Carl by her side.
"hey Judith" Riley whispered, smiling as the baby, whose eyes fluttered open. The baby's eyes widen and it looked like she might burst into tears but Riley simply rocked her back and forth and kissed her forehead. Carl watched as the infant seemed to know this woman was important to her… was her family, for she reached out a chubby hand and grabbed Riley's hair as usual, she then smiled and blabbed something.
Riley lifted her head and looked over at Carl
"I ain't gonna let anything happen to her…or you…I promise you that"
Carl searched Riley's eyes looking for something, she looked so broken, so...so hollow. Carl could only nod his head words escaping him. Riley looked over searching for her brother when she only saw Rick standing near by she let out a sigh.
She held the baby out to Carl who cradled her in his arms, Judith looked back over at Riley and reached out to her
"got to go check on uncle Daryl little one…I'll be back" she spoke softly as she rubbed the baby's cheek. She then looked over at Carl "I'll be back" she then turned and walked towards Rick
She stopped in front of him, simply staring into his blue eyes, she looked down at her banged up boots biting her lip. When she looked back up she opened her mouth to speak but no words broke through
"….I'm gonna go check on Daryl…" she stuttered out. Rick nodded his head and then pulled her into a hug. He kissed the top of her head "love you kiddo". Riley pulled away
"love you too". She then walked towards the door
Outside it was dark, darker than it had been in a long time. She couldn't tell if it was because of the mood or simply the worlds way of giving her another 'fuck you'. Her eyes glanced upwards and she saw Daryl sitting in the tower legs swinging over the edge.
She made her way forward and carefully climbed the steps, with each step she thought about what she was going to say to Daryl 'what is there to say…I killed our brother only he wasn't really our brother anymore.' was the only thing that came to her mind, that and that she couldn't shake the feeling of watching her brother die…twice; that she couldn't stop the feeling of rage when she thought about the Governor, that she couldn't get rid of the guilt, and shame that crept through her being, that she was utterly changed and there was no going back, and the worst feeling of all…Merle was gone…for good.
She made it to the top and pushed the door open, she then crawled in and slowly shut the latch. She stood and stared at the back of Daryl's head for a moment before walking forward and sitting down beside him. Neither spoke a word they simply let their legs swing off the edge and let the sound of far away Walkers fill the night sky.
Daryl looked at his sister through the corner of his eye, she was biting her lip, just like he did with his thumbnail when over thinking something or nervous. He looked out at the sky and all the stars, he sighed and then looked at her again
"you okay" was the stupid question that escaped his lips 'of course she's not okay, what kind of idiotic question is that' Daryl thought mentally slapping himself.
Riley internally smirked at Daryl's words, he was probably kicking himself for asking such a loaded question. She looked out among the fields; hearing the sounds of the Walkers she flashed back to Merle's eyes… his once ocean blue eyes, so much like her own turning yellow and glazed over. She shook her hand and thought about what she wanted to say what would get her point across without too much effort. She didn't have the will power anymore, she didn't want to cry anymore she didn't want to think about it anymore
"maybe I'm the Dixon curse" Riley mumbled out letting her words float into the wind
Daryl looked over confused about what she was saying. Riley bowed her head watching her feet swing in time with the breeze
"first mom, now Merle. I..I bring bad luck. I mean look what happened with Lori." Riley stopped her hands went to her crossbow strap and she gripped it so tight Daryl saw her knuckles go white. "I tried though I tried to get him to stop, I tried to go with him; maybe if I...maybe if…on that run with Maggie and Glenn…maybe I should have told him where we where staying…would things have changed…maybe the Governor wouldn't even be a thought in our heads." Riley stopped and took a breath "it's all my fault" she murmured out, running her fingers though her hair 'It's ALL YOUR FAULT'
Daryl didn't know how to reply to Riley's troubled declaration and it hurt him. His sister had gone through so much, done so much and here he was no help in supporting her through it.
"it doesn't matter" she stated getting to her feet
"he did what he did, I did what I did, the Governor will do what he's gonna do …we have to focus on the now and the people here…we stay and we fight we end this and we…we move on."
She glanced down at Daryl and then moved towards the door. When she got there she opened it and placed one foot on step below her
"he knew didn't he" she whispered out so quietly that Daryl had to stop breathing to hear her
"knew what" Daryl asked looking back meeting her tired blue orbs
"that I loved him" Riley spoke looking down at the darkness under her
Daryl felt a lump form in his throat, he adverted his eyes and with a shaky voice replied
"yeah he knew"
With that Riley was climbing down the steps the door closing with a moan as she did.
Daryl watched her walk and return inside the cell block; he then reached into his pocket and pulled out the photo. He looked at it tears falling from his eyes "he knew, he knew" he repeated into the darkness. He sat for a moment getting lost in the quiet; he then looked up into the vast blackness of the night sky "what do I do Merle, how do I help her…what would you do…what do I do…"
Riley entered the cell block to quietness. All was silent and it unnerved her. She walked by Rick's cell and looked in. He was sleeping with Judith in the mail carrier beside him. She watched both for a moment before deciding she probably should head to her cell and try to sleep, try being the key word.
Riley climbed the stairs and stepped over Daryl's things, she walked into her cell and slumped onto the bed. She peeled her crossbow over her shoulder and leaned it against the bed post. She then placed her head into her hands and took in a shaky breath. She stood and paced the cell, looking down at herself she stopped, blood covered most of her body. She quickly stripped needing to get out of these clothes like they were on fire. Once they were off she kicked them into the corner of the cell and reached into her bag; pulling on a black Pink Floyd t-shirt, and a clean pair of dark blue skinny jeans, she then shoved her feet back into her boots and collapsed on the bed. She stared at the bunk above her hoping that maybe, just maybe she would wake up and this would all be for not
'okay Riley, no Dixon grows up not knowing the classics ya hear me. Your old enough to listen and old enough to respect them. See here this is the great Johnny Cash, and we got your Pink Floyd, and Led Zeppelin and lets not forget AC/DC. The old man is out so let's get to it.' Riley watched as Merle walked over to the CD player and placed in a CD. He then hit play and the sound of Johnny Cash filled the house. Merle returned to the couch sitting next to Riley. This was the most relaxed she could ever remember being. Her dad was out and her brothers were home. Daryl sitting in the arm-chair flipping through an Auto magazine while bobbing his head to the beat and Merle singing along to Man in Black. Merle looked down at his sister leaning over to kiss the top of her blonde head 'now Miss. Riley you are a full fledge Dixon'
Riley shot up, she was breathing hard and covered in sweat, she looked around disoriented and slightly scared.
"why don't you just change your name to Riley Grimes, you have no Dixon left in you" Merle threw out as she walked by
Riley stopped she turned and smirked "if it meant not being related to you anymore I do it in a heartbeat" and with that she disappeared out the door.
Riley shook her head and ran shaky hands through her hair, pulling it back up into a pony tail, she was snapped back to the present when the sound of a baby whining caught her attention, she jumped out of bed and took off down the stairs. She peeked into Rick's cell to see him starting to roll over to tend to Judith
"can I" Riley softy spoke. Rick looked over and with a tired smile nodded his head. Riley walked into the cell and scooped the baby up; she mumbled a "goodnight" to Rick and then walked from the cell.
Riley walked back up to her cell and sat on her bed leaning against the wall. She cradled Judith in her arms and with a sad smile she quietly spoke to the wide-eyed child
"You're going to be just fine; you know how many people here love you, your dad and brother are some of the bravest and greatest people I know. Then there is Carol and Maggie and Glenn, and uncle Daryl you can thank him for the nickname of ass kicker." Riley stopped and smirked "to me your little one….you don't know him but uncle Merle use to call me that." Riley looked up and at the wall in front of her "you know you have a great brother, siblings are everything, their built-in best friends. You my little girl have a kick ass one, trust me I know…" Riley then looked back down at Judith and with a sad smile spoke "let me tell you about the time Merle…"
Morning had arrived quicker than Riley would have wanted, she was able to go back to sleep and sleep peacefully she kept Judith with her all night, placing a pillow against the wall and Judith in the middle of her and the wall. When sunlight streamed into the room, Riley opened her eyes and came into contact with another pair of ocean eyes, Judith was awake and seemed to be waiting her Riley to rise as well.
Riley smiled at the baby and pulled her on top of her, Judith squealed in delight
"ok little one, let's get you some breakfast."
Riley held Judith at her hip and made her way down the stairs. When she reached the bottom she saw everyone packing up their things. She walked over to Beth who was preparing a bottle
"morning…what's going on…" Riley questioned
Beth smiled looking over at the two girls, she then held her hands out asking for the baby. Riley passed her over and Beth began to feed her
"we're packing up, making it seem like we left so when the Governor comes he finds it empty." Beth paused readjusting the bottle
"some of us will be hiding here, there's a plan to scare them off, kill some…" Beth trailed off raising her eyes to stare at Riley
Riley simply nodded, she looked down at the baby "I'll be wherever she is" Riley spoke then walked back towards the stairs to pack up her few items of procession.
A few minutes later she left her cell and the cell block, looking into each room as she passed, seeing that everyone had emptied it and was also heading towards the door and the cars. Once outside Riley made a bee line towards the motorcycle where Daryl stood loading his bags into the saddle bag located on the rear of the bike. She stopped though when she saw Carol approach.
Daryl looked up when he heard her walk up. She offered him a sad smile
"Merle never did nothing like that his whole life" he spoke looking back down at the bike
Riley lowered her head biting her lip
"you just don't understand" he whispered out. "I need people to know…know that I'm not all bad"
Riley closed her eyes slamming the palms of her hands into them, she pushed so hard she saw stars
"He gave us a chance…a chance to live another day." Carol relied. Daryl simply gave a shrug, and started to bite at his thumbnail
Riley removed her hands and walked forward making her presence known.
"I'll take the bike" she spoke not making eye contact with the two people standing near by.
Daryl looked at her like she grew another head "you're not staying to help out"
Daryl knew Riley was determined to end the Governors life one way or another so the fact she wasn't staying to help in the fight was odd.
Riley pulled her backpack over her crossbow and hopped on the bike replying to Daryl with one word
"Judith"
She then started the bike and slowly made her way towards the gate.
Beth, Herschel, Carl and Judith were in the Hyundai and Riley followed them down the dirt path, and out of the prison. She stopped and looked back, she noticed Maggie and Glenn making their way towards their locations and then saw Daryl staring her down from where he stood. She stared back for a moment before turning back and following after the green car.
The five of them picked a place in the woods close enough to the prison to see the action and respond if needed but far enough away that they weren't seen and would stay safe.
Riley hopped up onto the hood of the green Hyundai, with Carl leaning against it beside her
"I should be there" she heard the boy mumble
Riley looked over at him "no job is too small, no job is unimportant, you're a brother now, that's your job, do it and do it well" Riley spoke looking at the boy; he glanced up and saw the look in her eyes, he then felt bad; she had just killed her brother because he sacrificed himself for the good of the group, a group that treated him as an enemy. He then looked over at Beth you was holding Judith and walking in small circles. He nodded his head and walked towards the girls.
It seemed like they were sitting there for hours before the Governor and his men pulled in. The small group watched from their place as all was quiet and then without warning gun fire erupted and explosions were heard. It lasted for a mere minutes before all was still again.
Riley looked around at the group and hopped off the car, she walked towards Carl, Beth and Judith, she then froze. Something or someone was approaching; their fast footsteps heard roughly over the dried leaves.
Riley spun and raised her crossbow. A boy no older than eighteen come across their clearing. He stumbled as he came to a halt. Herschel was the first to break the tension.
"hand over the gun son" the old man spoke
Riley saw the boy hesitate so she raised her crossbow and aimed for his head
"come on Rye bread do it, you can't trust him or his word, look at who he was working for... the Governor don't trust this sorry excuse for a man"
Riley clenched her jaw and looked to her left, there leaning against a tree was Merle
"sweetie you don't have to do this remember don't let this world break you"
Riley stopped breathing and tears formed in her eyes, she looked at the other side of the tree and there was Lori, wearing a warm smile, tears also in her eyes.
"you're better this Riles"
"so you just gonna let him kill ya, probably do the baby first…he WORKS for the Governor what is there to think about"
Carl who was standing next to Riley saw her tense, she looked like she was being torn between two evils, but in a moment an arrow was released and the boy hit the ground.
Herschel looked from the boy to Riley. He then watched as Riley moved forward, and pulled the arrow from the boy's head, as she turned she made eye contact with Herschel
He watched her for a moment knowing that she wasn't the same Riley from before
"he was handing over the gun sweetheart" he spoke slowly to her. Her eyes held something that made him both worried and scared.
Riley's eyes flashed to the tree, nothing was there, not even a shadow, her eyes then quickly went back to the old man, who didn't miss the way she looked at the tree like she expected something or someone to be there
"he worked for him, was trained by him…I couldn't take that chance" her eyes then scanned over to Judith and Carl "not with them here" and with that Riley walked back to the bike, hopped on and started it up
"I think we can head back now"
Once back at the prison, everyone was bringing their belongings back inside, ready to make it their home once again. Herschel watched as Riley walked into the prison with Carl and Judith before turning his attention to Daryl.
Daryl was standing with Rick, the two of them deciding if they should head over to Woodbury and finish this thing once and for all. They stopped talking when they heard the sound of Herschel's crutches on the ground. They turned and were about to ask the man his thoughts when he cut in
"Riley killed a boy"
Daryl and Rick looked at one another before looking back at the doctor.
"it was one of the Governors boys no more than eighteen, he came through where we were hiding, he had a gun but was handing it over" he stopped and looked at Daryl
Daryl saw worry in the old mans eyes "what she say" he questioned
"that he worked for him that she couldn't trust his word not with" Herschel eyes then went to Rick "Judith or Carl there" he ended
Rick looked over at Daryl and then spoke "she did what she thought needed to be done; but we'll talk to her" he stated making quick eye contact with Daryl who simply nodded his head biting at his nail.
Herschel shook his head "it was almost like she was in a trance, her eyes though; she was fighting something or someone…it was almost like she heard someone tell her to do it"
At those words Daryl's head snapped up, he knew he would have to figure out a way to help Riley through the guilt, and blame.
Herschel was called by Maggie and Beth and he gave one last look to Rick and Daryl before going to his daughters.
Daryl looked over to Rick who was staring off into the distance.
"I'll talk to her" came the leaders soft voice
Daryl was about to protest; this was his sister after all
Rick cut him off before he even began
"I..I can relate" was all he said before walking towards the car "come on lets deal with this so we can get back"
Daryl stood dumbfounded for a moment what had that meant; had Rick also seen things, heard things. Daryl didn't have time to try and connect the dots as Glenn ran by "come on man". The hunter shook his head and followed after his friend.
Riley sat in Carl's cell after throwing her bag back into her. She stared at the boy as he flipped through a comic book
"do you think I'm a monster" she asked peeking out of the cell as Beth walked by with Judith in her arms
Carl's head shot up and the comic book fell from his hands
"WHAT, no why would I think that"
Riley sighed and let her head fall back against the stone wall "because of what I did…to that boy"
Carl leaned down and picked up the fallen comic book. He closed it and laid it on the bed beside him
"you did it to protect Judith; you were right we couldn't trust him or take the chance, he worked for the Governor for crying out loud, I don't understand how Herschel can't understand that"
Riley looked at the boy, her brother and smiled "good, I don't know what I would do if you hated me…Herschel…Herschel is a man of faith, he, he thinks I'm a monster. I know he told Rick and Daryl, their never gonna look at me the same"
Carl stood and walked towards the girl he then kneeled in front of her
"first off I could never and will never hate you, you're my sister" Carl spoke with a smile of his own "second they will understand, you did it to protect us, and Herschel, well Herschel just worries, to him we're all his children its just in his being"
Riley stared at Carl and her smiled grew "thanks" she whispered out
Carl stood to his full height "anytime, let's go wait for them to come back…I'll get Judith"
Carl walked from the cell, Riley stood and smirked to herself
'hey Rye bread' Riley froze and looked around, nothing was out-of-place only she stood in the cell
'listen to that boy, he's smarter than he looks…as long as you do what you do to protect the ones you love there's nothing to feel guilty about ya hear me'
Riley put her hands over her ears "this isn't happening, you're not here…get yourself together Dixon" when she pulled her hands away she stopped and listened…all was quiet. She looked around the cell one last time before making her way outside to wait the arrival of her brother
Riley and Carl stood leaning against the prison wall, Riley was holding Judith and every now and again gently tossing her in the air. Judith would squeal in delight and then clap her hands when Riley returned her to her hip.
Riley was broken from her happy moment when a rumbled from the prison gates sounded. She watched as a gray bus was pulled up and stopped in front of the cell block, she then heard the sound of the motorcycle and the car and watched as Rick, Glenn and Daryl all made their way towards the bus.
Rick knocked on the door and it opened; she then watched as women, men, children and the elderly all filled off. She looked over at Carl "what the fuck is this"
Carl was staring his father down "is he helping them?"
Riley watched as the boy walked forward meeting his father, she saw the two exchange words and then Carl storming back "he's letting them in….these people who once worked for, lived with and were brainwashed by him"
Riley looked from Carl over to Rick and Daryl, both were staring at the trio. Riley stared back unsure of what to do. This wasn't okay, sure maybe these people didn't know what the man was truly like, but still they were part of his community. She felt squirming in her arms and her eyes snapped back to Judith "it's okay little one" she murmured, she then placed a hand on Judith's head and lowered it her shoulder, Judith rested her head and her eyes flattered closed. Riley turned placing her hand on Carl's back she then pushed him towards the cell block and disappeared.
Daryl rubbed his eyes as he watched his sister vanish into the block.
"we'll talk to her together…tonight." he spoke finally turning his attention to Rick
The leader nodded his head to wrapped up in the thought that his children probably hated him.
"okay…we should probably make some introduces, they can stay in 'D' it's cleared out already"
Daryl nodded his head "I'll get our group rounded up" and he walked towards the door. Rick turned back to the bus and offered help and directions.
A little over an hour had passed since the arrival of the 'Woodbury People'. Everyone was now standing in the common area of C block. Rick was in the middle with Daryl, Glenn and Maggie behind him. Herschel, Beth and Carol sat at one of the tables, Ty and Sasha members of the Woodbury gang but also decent people Riley sensed stood by Rick as well. Probably to give the newest members a sense of familiarity. Riley who was still holding Judith, her fear of having the baby out of sight growing to an intense level recently stood near the back wall, Carl also leaning against it, he too not yet feeling comfortable and wanting to be close to his sisters as well.
Rick looked back at his family, Daryl and Glenn gave him a reassuring nod. The leader then turned back to the people in front of him, he took a deep breath and opened his mouth
"I know that this must all be new, strange and hard for you to understand, but the man you knew, or the man you thought you knew wasn't all he was cracked out to be. He kidnapped, beat, and did horrible things to my family" he glanced back then at Glenn and Riley. "that included killing. It wasn't safe for you there, but here, here you can start again. By working together we can have a life here, we can survive. We need to get along and work through the hate and fear we have towards one another. None of the past matters anymore, we live in the present and we start fresh" Rick ended he then looked around the room, each person looking to the person next to them, slowly nodding their heads. Rick smiled
"I know you all know Ty and Sasha already, so if you need anything feel free to ask them and they can relate it to us, I hope one day soon we can all call one another family."
Rick stopped again and looked back to Carl and Riley.
"we have a cell block cleared out for you already. Cell block D. Ty and Sasha will help you all settle in. We'll start work tomorrow on making a plan for jobs, and a routine" Rick then looked over to Ty and Sasha. Ty went over and shook Rick's hand , he then led the people out of the cell block and over to their new home.
Rick turned looking at Daryl, Glenn and Maggie.
"you did good Rick" Maggie spoke sensing the concern in Rick's eyes
Rick looked over to the rest of the group and they all nodded and smiled at their leader.
Carol went off to start dinner, all the food that was grown and kept at Woodbury had been brought to the prison as well and she was happy to start cooking things other than squirrel stew. Herschel pulled out his Bible and quietly began reading. Beth walked over to Riley and Carl unfolding a blanket to allow Judith some time to play and work on her crawl and hopefully soon walking.
Riley placed Judith down and was about to join her when a voice from overhead spoke
"Beth you can watch over Judith for a bit right?" Rick spoke kneeling to kiss his daughters forehead.
Beth smiled "of course"
Carl looked up from his spot next to his little sister and stared from Daryl to his father then down to Riley. He saw Riley clench her jaw before she stood and walked down to a cell he knew was used for storage.
Rick looked at Carl for a moment then stood and walked after Riley. Daryl stared at the baby for a moment and as he started to turn Carl lowly spoke
"she did it for ass kicker"
Daryl froze, stared back at the boy and then swiftly made his way towards the cell
Once inside the cell he saw Riley sitting on the bottom bunk, her head in her hands. Rick was kneeling in front of her, one hand placed on her shoulder. Daryl stood in the doorway unsure of where to go, what to say and what had happened in the mere seconds he wasn't in the room.
Rick sighed and stood up "Riley…you want to tell Daryl what you told me"
Daryl saw Riley grip harder at her hair, and her leg start to bounce
Rick looked from Daryl to Riley and then at the floor. This room was bringing up memories this is where they talked to Riley once before only there was another body present.
Riley looked up eyes shining, leg still bouncing. Daryl wanted nothing more than to pull her into a hug. Riley took a shaky breath and then with a tremble in her voice
"...Merle and Lori..." she broke, she stood and started to pace in the small room. She then threw her hands up to her ears and walked towards the wall, she leaned her forehead against the cool brick and mumbled over and over
"you ain't here, you ain't here"
Rick and Daryl could do nothing more than watch the heartbreaking scene before them. After a few moments she walked away from the wall and turned looking at both men
"I can't…I can't make them leave"
That night Daryl, Rick and Riley sat in the cell for hours. Riley told Rick and Daryl everything some of it even going back to when she was a child, things Daryl didn't even know and things that made Rick wish he was her real father. Riley told them about Lori's death and the words she spoke to her, and then about the day Merle died.
Riley told them about the clearing with the boy and how Lori and Merle where there each telling her different things. After she had done it she didn't feel bad about what she did; the boy couldn't be trusted and she wouldn't take that chance with Judith and Carl there, she did feel bad though about choosing Merle over Lori.
A plan was made that Riley wouldn't bottle up her feelings and would talk to someone it didn't have to be one of them, she was close to both Maggie and Beth and they were girls and could probably relate better. She promised that she would try.
"you also have to let us know if you see or hear them again" Rick said as he stood up ready to head to bed.
Riley looked at the man before nodding her head "okay"
With that Riley headed up towards her cell but on her way she saw Michonne still had her light on and made a detour towards her cell.
Daryl looked at Rick "thank you" the hunter spoke
Rick walked over and pulled Daryl into a hug "anytime brother…you're family and we stick together" Daryl patted Rick on the back and then pulled away
"it will be good having them here, it will be like a community, maybe even normal" Rick spoke with a chuckle.
Daryl agreed "tomorrow we set up a system a plan, make sure everyone has something to do"
"till tomorrow then" Rick then said goodnight to Daryl and made his way towards his cell to say goodnight to his daughter and son. Daryl also headed up to the perch, thinking over everything that has happened in the last seventy-two hours and how living with all these people was going to be very… very different
Riley sat on the black woman's bed as she leaned over a map
"he's not dead" Riley spoke knowing that, that was stupid Michonne already knew that.
Michonne circled a few places on the map before facing the girl "I know" she spoke out eyes looking darker than usual
Riley stood from the bed "let's go kill him"
Michonne smiled and turned back to the map. Riley walked forward to look over it as well and as she did she heard two voices meld together one spoke out louder than the rest though and she stopped unsure of if she should continue, but then she thought about her family, her brother, she thought about what this man has done and would continue to do, so she blocked the chatter from her mind and focused on the places Michonne was circling
"don't let this world break you"
Next Chapter: maybe we'll see Riley go out with Michonne on a "run", Rick may give up leadership. Daryl still worries about Riley and Riley still see's and hears Merle and Lori. The next few chapters will be a little bit of a filler I think and then we will head into the sickness and all that fun stuff. If you have any ideas for some fun and interesting "filler" ideas I'd love to hear them! REVIEW please =)
