Alright- here it is! The dramatic moment of truth many of you have been eagerly awaiting. I made this chapter a little longer just for you guys since you're the best readers ever. Enjoy!
The amount of emotions that swarmed Padmé in that moment were indecipherable. She was angry. Furious. But part of her was also devastated that Vader had lied to her. His deception felt like a thousand wampas tearing at her heart.
What were you expecting? He's a Sith Lord.
The device finally stopped beeping. A small red light showed up, indicating that whoever was trying to reach Vader had left him a message.
"Why?" Padmé asked. It was all she could manage to get out.
"Because I didn't want to leave," Vader answered. "I wanted to stay here with you."
Padmé wanted to believe him, but she couldn't. Everything he had told her up to this point had been a lie.
"You didn't go ice fishing," said Padmé. It was a statement, not a question. "And you're not from Corellia."
"No," Vader replied, his face unreadable. "I'm from Tatooine."
"Why did you lie to me?" Padmé asked. "Have you been using me for information this whole time?"
"What? Padmé, no!" Vader responded. "It started out that way, but right now I don't give a shit where your base is or what your rebel friends are doing. I only care what's happening right here, right now."
Padmé jumped up and backed away from him. "You stay the hell away from me!" she shouted, still clutching his communicator. She was debating which one of her "rebel friends" to call.
"I'm telling you the truth now," Vader insisted. He stood up, but wisely made no move to close the gap between them. "I'm from Tatooine. I was born into slavery. I didn't tell you because…"
"Because you knew I'd ask about Anakin and you lied to me about that too," Padmé finished. "I bet you guys were best friends when you were kids and then you murdered him."
Padmé sensed something in his eyes she had never seen before. It was guilt.
I'm right.
"Padmé," he started.
"No!" she yelled back, storming out of the room. "I don't want to hear an explanation."
She could hear his footsteps following her. All she wanted to do was make it to the main door and run as fast as she could, far away from Vader.
"Just hear me out!" he shouted.
"Give me one good reason why I kriffing should!" Padmé answered, still making her way toward the door.
"Because I love you!"
Padmé halted. She wasn't expecting that. But the words that mere minutes ago would have given her pure joy now only made her hate him more. "It's too late for that," she stated without turning around.
"Padmé Amidala, I have loved you since the day I met you eleven years ago," Vader said.
This caught her attention. She turned around. "What are you talking about?"
"Eleven years ago," he continued, "you came to Tatooine with Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn looking for money to fix your ship and get off Tatooine. I asked if you were an angel and you told me I was funny. You stayed with my mother and me during a sandstorm. I won a pod race to help get your money. And then I left Tatooine with you and I made you that necklace that you're wearing right now so you'd always remember me."
Padmé grabbed hold of the Japor snippet. "You're sick!" she shouted. "You killed Anakin! Don't you dare pretend to be him. Anakin was the sweetest boy I've ever met. If he was alive, he would be nothing like you!"
"Anakin died," Vader responded, ignoring her outburst, "but I didn't kill him. He was killed the day Count Dooku gave me these scars and he was reborn as Darth Vader. But even as Vader, I never stopped loving you." He paused. "Look at me. Look into my eyes. Search your feelings, Padmé. You know it's true."
Padmé just stared for a few moments, trying to overcome the shock. As she studied his pleading, aquamarine eyes and the blonde hair, which had darkened a bit from lack of exposure to Tatooine suns, it finally hit her.
She sunk to the ground, one hand still clutching the Japor snippet. The other held up her head as she wept. She cried out of rage for the lies he had told her. She cried that the little boy who had made her good luck charm grew into a beast. But most of all, she cried out of pity for everything that happened that had made him that way.
Vader slowly and cautiously approached her, kneeling to her level. She tried to look at him, but it only made the tears flow faster. She was beginning to have trouble breathing.
I'm having a panic attack.
Vader, no- Anakin, no- Vader, sensed her pain and pulled her toward him. "Ani, no!" Padmé cried. "No!"
He let go of her and stood, leaving her alone in her misery to process everything. Part of her wanted to run, but the other part wanted to sit on the cold cement and weep for hours.
The latter part won.
It was night by the time the sounds of her sorrow ceased. Vader watched as Padmé made her way to the bedroom, eyes red and puffy. He made no move to join her and she slammed the door shut behind her.
To be honest, Vader had felt like crying himself. It wasn't the pain of digging into his past and revealing his innermost memories and thoughts, but the fact that he had hurt the woman he loved. His Angel.
If he had realized how much pain this would cause her, he never would have done it in the first place. He would have fixed the communicator, gone back to the Executor, and let her run free back to her rebel friends.
But Vader wanted to be with her far more than he wanted to be a part of the Empire. Couldn't she see that? He had abandoned his suit and came up with a way for them to be together all the time. He thought that was what she wanted, especially when she told him that she loved him.
Now, Vader was just confused.
He sat with his back to the door, listening through the thin wood as Padmé called someone using his communicator, which he had made no effort to retrieve from her. He deserved to be turned into the rebels.
"Padmé!" a woman's voice exclaimed. "Thank heavens you're alright! Where the devil have you been? We thought you'd been captured. Your parents are so worried."
"Don't worry, Mon, I'll call them next," said Padmé. "I was captured. I tried to escape in a pod, but Vader jumped in after me and we landed on Hoth."
"Oh, yes!" the woman called Mon exclaimed. "We heard of his death and the men are rejoicing. We had no idea you were with him. How did you manage to get away before the explosion?"
Then there was silence. Vader wondered what she was thinking. Would she give him away?
"Just got lucky, I guess," she answered. "I'm at the former rebel base. Can you send someone to pick me up?"
"Actually, Master Kenobi is on his way to Hoth right now to investigate the scene of Vader's death," the woman replied. "He doesn't believe the rumors- something about not feeling a disturbance in the Force. I will contact him immediately and let him know there is no need to visit the crash site and to go directly to the base."
Vader tuned out the rest of the conversation.
Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan is coming here.
The hatred surged through him. The man he had once thought to be his older brother, a father figure even, had abandoned him. Obi-Wan was part of the reason Vader was Vader.
Vader had enough decency to wait until Padmé was finished speaking with and calming her worried parents until he barged through the door.
"Obi-Wan is coming?!" he shouted.
"Yes," Padmé answered. "Well, this should be one hell of a reunion."
"Of all people, why him? I hate that man!"
"Obi-Wan spent years looking for you, Anakin!" Padmé yelled. "The man has gray hairs from stressing out so much. He almost abandoned the Order because he was so mad at himself for failing you! I was with him when he told your mother and he cried. You meant the world to him!"
Vader stopped. For once, he had no idea what to say. This changed everything. If only he'd known…
But it was too late now. Even if his hatred for the Jedi Master had subsided significantly in the course of a mere minute, he had still failed him. Sidious had been stronger. The Jedi were weak.
"So are you going to kill him too like you killed all the other Jedi?" Padmé snapped.
Vader knew he should. It had been ingrained in his mind for years that the Jedi were traitors. But he wouldn't simply because he knew it was what Sidious would want him to do, and Vader wanted to do the opposite of anything Sidious wanted.
"No, I will not kill him," Vader replied.
He could tell Padmé was a little surprised, but she handed his communicator back to him without hesitation. "Go- listen to your message. Call one of your little soldier friends and have them pick you up."
"I'd rather stay here on this ball of ice forever than go back to the Empire," said Vader.
"Why?" Padmé replied. "You're the Emperor's second in command. You have the power to do anything and everything you want. And I should just hold onto this and strand you here, but instead I'm giving you a second chance."
"You don't understand, Padmé," Vader responded. "Until now, I couldn't do anything I wanted. I was the Emperor's puppet. If I had to choose between doing his dirty work and being stranded here forever, I would pick here. But if you're truly giving me a second chance, then I want to come with you. I faked my own death just so I could be with you."
"And why would you even think I would let you do that?" said Padmé. "So you can finally learn the location of the rebel base and annihilate us?"
"No," Vader answered. "I have no intention of hurting you. Tell them who I am for all I care. Let them execute me for my war crimes." He paused. "A life without your love is not a life worth living."
Padmé looked up at him, but said nothing.
"You do still love me, don't you?" Vader prompted.
"I'm…I'm not sure," Padmé replied. "Because I don't know who you really are. Against my better judgment, I fell in love with Vader, allowing myself to be deceived and heartbroken by his lies. I could never love Vader again. But there is a chance I could love Anakin." She fiddled with the Japor snippet.
Vader kneeled down in front of Padmé, avoiding the temptation to grab her hands. "I don't know if I can ever be Anakin again. I've been through too much. But what I do know is that I certainly don't want to be Vader."
"So who are you then?" Padmé questioned.
Vader thought about his reply. "I'm someone in-between. Someone who needs time to discover who he is."
She seemed satisfied with this answer, but gave no indication as to whether or not she would let him tag along when Obi-Wan showed up.
"You should try to get some rest," said the in-between man.
"No," Padmé replied bluntly.
He stood there awkwardly a moment before departing to give her some space again. The in-between man roamed aimlessly throughout the base, unsure of what his future would hold. But as long as she was a part of it, he didn't really care.
Alright, so now I have some sad news. I am going back to college for spring semester this weekend, which means significantly less time to work on this. Don't worry- the story won't be abandoned! Just expect updates every 2 weeks or so instead of 2 days (or, in the case of this chapter, 2 hours...). Thanks to all of you for being so incredibly supportive and helping make this such a great story! -Lyanna
