A/N: so I put a lot into this chapter to make up for the last ones kind of slacking so I really hope you like it. It does jump around a bit again so I hope it's easy to understand and stay with. I think I put in everything I wanted and everything that was needed, more will come to light in the next chapter as well. Let me know if there is anything I missed or anything you were hoping to see that maybe I can squeeze into the next one. Love you guys you all have been awesome when it comes to this story and it means a ton! As always reviews are great!
Chapter 24: Drunken Thoughts and Somber Moods
Riley, Rick, Carl and Michonne had walked for a few miles now. Riley gave her father the coat she stole…borrowed…took from the man she killed. She had yet to tell him that but did it really matter. Rick walked beside Michonne in the back as Carl walked in the middle, Riley had taken point in the front; everyone could sense she needed a little time to sort some things out and figured it best to let her be for the moment
Rick kept his eyes on her watching her movements. He was drawn back to the woman beside him when she voiced a concern that he too was battling with
"she different…she's not the same person anymore…whatever happened at the house snapped her back…if it's possible for a Dixon to get even more…badass this is it…."
Rick brought his eyes back to his daughter and watched the way she walked, her crossbow slung over her shoulder. He then looked down at the coat he was wearing and the gun draped across his chest, and wondered where and how Riley had acquired these items.
Rick looked back at Michonne "this world it changes you…Riley…she has always done what's been needed; good, bad or ugly. The Dixon's know how to overcome…they were meant for this"
Michonne looked at Rick and then up towards Riley. It was true the Dixon's were bred for a life like this, from the stories Michonne had heard about their upbringing it was easy to see that they would probably be the last ones standing
Daryl and Beth had carried a couple of cases of the clear liquor inside of the house.
"Michonne and I stumbled across this place while on a run" Daryl spoke as he picked up a mason jar that was half filled with the water like substance known as moonshine.
"what is this stuff" Beth questioned also picking up a jar and shaking it around
Daryl opened one of the jars and sniffed the contents "moonshine" he answered
Daryl watched as Beth opened up a jar as well smelling the liquor
"my old man use to make this stuff out back of a house just like this" Daryl stated looking around the small shack they where in "if it's done right it, it will be the best damn drink you ever had…if it's done wrong it could leave you blind" Daryl ended looking over at the girl
He swirled the water like booze around in the jar "our old man use to make Riley…" Daryl froze gripping the glass tightly in his hand.
Beth watched as Daryl's hand tightened around the glass and was surprised it didn't crack under the pressure.
"bottom's up" Daryl hissed out before raising the glass to his lips and downing half of the fluid
Beth slowly raised her glass as well and took a small sip before gulping down a large part herself
Riley was lost in thought she needed to tell her dad what she had done she didn't want him to think she was a monster… or worse. She slowed her pace and pretty soon was walking side by side with Carl
"you doing okay" she questioned the boy glancing to her right
Carl nodded his head and looked back at his father and Michonne as the two continued to whisper
"how about you….what happened back at the house" Carl spoke turning his eyes back to the road in front of him
Riley's hand gripped the strap of her crossbow as the other reached into her pocket
"choices had to be made…I did what I had to…"
Carl looked at Riley through the corner of his eye and bit his lip. From past experience Carl knew what that phrase meant…Riley had killed someone
Riley could sense Carl staring at her "it was either me or him" she mumbled
Carl looked down at the road, mulling over her words
"Carl" Riley spoke cutting the boy off from his thoughts. Riley had stopped walking and turned to fully face him
"sometimes people have to make choices that effect the good of their group…the good of themselves. The choice sometime isn't desirable but in the end it's what needs to be done…can you understand that"
Rick and Michonne watched as Riley stopped and turned looking at Carl. The boy stopped as well and faced his sister. Rick didn't stop walking but did slow his pace; he was able to catch everything Riley had said and knew what must have taken place back at the home
Carl slowly nodded his head
"good…" Riley replied "never be scared to do what's in the best interest of yourself and your group...your family…you do what you need to…always"
Riley looked up and saw that her father and Michonne were standing a couple of feet away and had overheard everything spoken between the two siblings
Riley took a deep breath looking right at her dad
"I killed a man back at that house. It was either him or me….I chose him. That coat you're wearing; that gun" Riley stopped gesturing over to Rick's body "are from the dead man…he didn't need them anymore…I did what I had too…..and I would do it again"
Rick looked from Riley to Carl, then a quick glance passed between himself and Michonne before Rick walked forward and stood in front of the Dixon. He nodded his head and pulled Riley into an embrace placing a kiss to the top of her head
"I'm glad you chose him"
Daryl and Beth were sitting in the small living room in the run down house
Beth looked around and then locked eyes back on Daryl. She knew they both needed a distraction from the bleakness around them
"lets play a game" Beth softly spoke worried how the man would react
Daryl chuckled as he took another sip "a game"
Beth nodded her head "yeah" she spoke "I've heard of drinking games…lets play one"
Daryl shrugged his shoulders, what else was he going to do
Beth sat up on her knees a small smile on her face "okay how about never have I ever"
Daryl cocked and eyebrow unsure of how this game was played
Beth laughed and explained the rules
"ok never have I ever is where I say something starting with; never have I ever, if you have not done what I said then you must take a drink. If you have done it then no drinking" Beth looked up at the Dixon to see if he understood what she said
Daryl pulled one leg up resting the glass on his knee "so if I've never done what you say then I drink"
Beth nodded her head, and watched as Daryl gestured his head in her direction signaling her to ask something
The game started off simple enough pointless little questions, some things that shocked Beth others that shocked Daryl. The game however took a turn for the worse when Beth asked one question that tipped Daryl over the edge
"never have I ever…" Beth paused thinking of a good one "okay never have I ever been in prison…"
Beth watched as Daryl's face changed he stared at her for a moment before he gripped the glass in his hand downing the last half of the clear burning liquid
"is that what you think of me…of us" Daryl spoke
Beth's eyes widen in fear "I didn't mean it like that…even the drunk tank counts, my dad was thrown in there lots of times"
Daryl stood to his feet throwing the empty glass to the side as he did
"is that what you think…is that what all of you thought…" Daryl spoke walking towards the kitchen and unzipping his pants
Beth quietly watched the hunter
"if Riley was here would you have asked her that question, no maybe it would have been never have I ever been raped by my own father…"
Beth stood eyes widening she never knew that about Riley and her blood ran cold "Daryl please…please be quiet" Beth spoke as a Walker appeared at the window
The man simply laughed "can't hear you taking a piss"
"maybe you would have asked her never have I ever been beaten so badly by my father that I blacked out for two days…never have I ever been told that I killed my mother…never have I ever slept in the back booth of a bar because I was too scared to go home…never have I ever had a sword held to my throat " Daryl hissed turning around pants zipped.
Beth had tears in her eyes "I didn't mean it like that Daryl"
Daryl laughed and picked up another bottle gulping a third of it before slamming it back down
Carl and Michonne were now walking side by side, a few feet behind them walked Riley and Rick. Rick looked over at the girl who has become a daughter to him. He could see she had changed, she was willing to do whatever necessary to protect her family; while it did trouble him that she seemed so calm about the whole thing he knew that just like him she was not to be messed with when it came to those they loved.
"I'm not a monster" Riley spoke quietly keeping her eyes on the pair in front of her
Rick snapped his head over and stared down at the girl
"I'm not a monster" Riley repeated looking over at her father for a split second
Rick didn't know what to say; it sounded almost like she was trying to convince herself rather than him, however he simply placed a hand on her shoulder giving it a squeeze before saying
"I know"
Daryl had dragged Beth outside; he then walked over to the male Walker that had appeared. Grabbing the Walker by the front of the shirt Daryl pulled him over to a tree pinning him there with a knife through the shoulder.
He then walked back and grabbed Beth swinging her in front of his body wrapping in arm around her; in the other arm was the crossbow.
"go ahead DO IT" Daryl yelled in her ear, holding the crossbow up and placing her hand over the release
Beth squirmed underneath him
"Daryl stop please" she cried out
Daryl held her hand over the trigger of the crossbow
"what…lets see how much you remember, Riley taught you right…you remember her the girl you love…" Daryl pulled Beth's finger back and an arrow released into the chest of the Walker
They watched as the Walker reached his hands out trying to grab the two people auguring in front of him
"aww come on Beth, Riley would be so disappointed…"
Beth was able to pull away from Daryl's hold; pulling her knife out of the hostler at her waist she walked forward placing a hand on the Walkers neck and shoved the knife through his skull
"what you do that for we were having fun" Daryl spoke as Beth walked backwards a few steps
Beth shook her head feeling tears well up in her eyes
"screw you Daryl" Beth spoke pushing the hunter hard in the chest
"just cause your scared doesn't give you the right to act like an asshole"
Daryl huffed in responds and watched as tears fell from the girls eyes
"I ain't scared" he spoke but his voice began to crack
Beth laughed "yeah sure…you're just as scared as I am, you just don't want to show it, it's okay to be scared Daryl. Just cause your last name is Dixon doesn't mean you can't feel" Beth spoke voice lowering to a whisper
"you need to get it through your head we ain't never gonna see our family again"
Beth put her hands over her ears "stop it Daryl that's not true…they could have gotten out…Riley could…"
Daryl got right in Beth's face "JUST STOP" he yelled "you ain't never gonna Rick again or Maggie, Glenn's probably dead…..little ass kicker" after saying her name Daryl's thoughts went right back to Riley; she loved that baby more than anything. He remembered how Beth use to joke that she was second fiddle when it came to Judith "…and Riley….she "
"she ain't DEAD" Beth yelled back in his face
Daryl turned away from the girl staring at the dead Walker still pinned to the tree
"all of it" Daryl began voice wavering "it's on me…I should have kept looking or let Michonne keep looking; but no I stopped and I stopped her. The Governor came right up to our gates. Held a sword to…" Daryl's mind flashed back seeing Riley with the sword to her throat; the hunter could no longer contain it and he broke the tears started to fall "your old man…Riley…she…" Daryl ended rambling on as the tears continued to fall
Beth felt hot tears fall freely down her face; she walked forward and wrapped her arms around Daryl's waist laying her head on his back
"she's not dead and neither are the rest"
Riley, Rick, Carl and Michonne had walked all day, the sun was starting to get low and they would need to set up camp for the night. Just as they were about to figure out a plan Carl piped up pointing over to a sign hanging on a telephone pole. As they approached Riley read the words that were written in black marker
"SANCTUARY FOR ALL COMMUNITY FOR ALL THOSE THAT ARRIVE SURVIVE"
Riley looked over to her dad as he looked at the map that was pinned underneath. Turning her eyes back to the map as well as saw that it was an old railroad map that had all the routes highlight, in the middle there was a big star also drawn in black marker the name by the star read
"TERMINUS"
Riley watched as Michonne looked over at her dad asking the question floating in all their minds
"what do you think"
Everyone watched as Rick unraveled the bandage from his hand throwing it aside
"let's go"
The sun had gone down and Daryl and Beth sat out on the back porch of the house both leaning against a beam facing each other
"now I know why my dad gave this stuff up" Beth spoke looking out at the forest around them
Daryl looked at her "you feel sick"
Turning her head back around Beth smiled and shook her head
"I feel nothing…I feel good"
Daryl lowered his head he knew that she was just numb now, it would all come crashing back down once the high was over
"you're a happy drunk" Daryl spoke letting a ghost of a smile cross his features
Beth smiled back and chuckled
"yeah some people can be real assholes when their drunk"
Daryl looked down "yeah, I become a real ass when I drink"
After that a silences fall among the two; looking over at Beth he saw her fingering the ring that was on the necklace that hung loose on her neck
"what's the story behind that" he spoke gesturing to it with the glass before taking a small sip
Beth gripped the ring in her hand "Riley" she spoke "she…she remembers the important things" Beth cryptically replied
Daryl bit his lip, and nodded his head, he could understand that statement there would be many times he or Merle would come home from work or someplace and Riley would have put something together cause it was their birthday, or a holiday or simply just because. She always tried to make people feel better, make their day a little brighter and growing up in the Dixon household that was a tough role to take on
"Riley was good like that, she always tried to make things special for someone, always tried to give them what they needed…."
Beth looked at the hunter and saw the sadness fill his eyes as he talked about his sister
"you want to know what I did before all this…everyone always tried to guess" Daryl stopped and looked at Beth who nodded her head and gave him a weak smile
Daryl thought back to his life before the world went to shit and truth was it wasn't that different
"I just use to follow Merle around…" Daryl stated taking his eyes away from the girl and staring at moon above him
"we would go out and do this or that, eventually I got a small job at an auto body shop so that one day I could get Riley out..." Daryl stopped and bit the inside of his cheek brining his eyes back down looking at his boots "we always stayed close though, neither of us could leave knowing Riley was still at home. We weren't the best brothers; Riley would never say it but we knew we could have….should have done better" Daryl let the words drift into the air, letting out a breath, he returned his eyes to the girl before him
"Merle use to kick himself for some of the things that happened to her….she was strong though, stronger than us that's for sure….she was a fighter from day one."
Daryl let a small grin come over his face as he thought back to a memory where eight-year-old Riley beat up a twelve-year-old boy
'Daryl was busy trying to get the engine fixed on his last car of the day; he wanted to get home before his old man so that maybe he could sneak Riley out until the bastard passed out. He was just about finished when the bell over the shop door rang "sorry but we're about to close" Daryl shouted "Daryl" came the small voice he knew so well. Daryl jerked his head up and came into view of Riley with a bloody hand, she stood next to an older woman who had a boy at her side with blood gushing down his face. "are you this girls brother" the woman asked. Daryl walked forward and nodded "well she got into a fight with my son and broke his nose" the woman spoke gesturing down to the boy beside her. Daryl looked over at Riley and saw her trying to suppress a smirk. Turning away Daryl brought his eyes back to the woman leaning down he pulled an ice pack from a cooler under the desk and handed to her. "I'm going to have a good talking with her tonight ma'am I'm so sorry that she did this…trust me she won't get away with it" The woman took the ice and placed it over her son's nose "oh…okay then….thank you" the woman spoke thinking that the situation would end differently. Daryl nodded his head "of course, fighting is never allowed". The woman smiled up at Daryl and said thank you one last time before leaving the shop. Once they were gone and down the road Daryl turned back to Riley and smirked as well "what the hell Riles" Daryl spoke pulling her back behind the counter and placing a rag to her bloody knuckles "what" Riley replied with the same smirk Daryl and Merle had inherited "he was saying bad things about Merle….I did what I had to" Daryl looked up at Riley and the smirk faded for a moment before he turned his eyes back to her hand'
Daryl was broken from his memory when Beth spoke
"she is a fighter"
Daryl looked up his eyebrows knotting together in confusion
Beth smiled "you said she was a fighter…past tense…she's not dead Daryl…so she is a fighter…which gives hope to the thought that she is alive"
Daryl looked away for a moment; he was seeing for the first time how much Beth truly loved his sister
"when did you know you loved her"
After walking a few more hours it was decided that they would set up camp for the night. Riley was able to get a small fire going and all four people sat in a small circle. Riley had her body turned so that she could see most angles and was on alert.
"you think any others got out"
Riley gripped her crossbow even tighter and clenched her jaw as the words left Carl's mouth
Michonne could see the girls sudden mood change and quickly spoke
"of course…everyone was capable and had a weapon….we'll find them" Michonne spoke saying the last part while only looking at Riley. Rick followed the woman's eyes and watched as Riley turned her head
"Michonne is right Carl; everyone was strong and knew what to do; its only a matter of time"
Carl looked over at his sister as the small fire lit up part of her face; he wanted to ask about Beth and how she felt but thought against it and settled on a simply nod of the head
Beth looked at Daryl for a moment and thought about the question; truth was she knew back at the farm but was too shy, too scared, too intimidated to say anything
"for a long time" Beth started letting a full fledge smile cross her lips "as early as the farm if I'm being honest"
Beth watched as Daryl's eyes widened a bit
"what can I say she was a badass chick with a crossbow" Beth chuckled before she stopped and her eyes lowered. She reached behind her and pulled out the black box that was shoved inside her pocket
"I knew that I loved her from the first time she said hi to me; that night I asked Maggie about love at first sight and she laughed but then looked at me and said it was one hundred percent true…I look back now and hate that I didn't act sooner. I was scared, shy, intimidated ; I mean Riley Dixon is a lot to take in, she has it all"
'Beth was sitting on the front steps watching as people worked, she was lost in thought when the porch door swung open and close, but looked over and watched as a pair of black boots walked into her view. Beth's eyes traveled from the boots to the skinny dark blue jeans to the red t-shirt, that was covered by a black pull over. Beth swallowed and glanced all the way up coming eye to eye with a pair of the bluest eyes she had ever seen. Blonde hair was tied in a loose braid and the girl smirked down at her "hi" the girl spoke before jogging down the stairs and running over to a boy whose name Beth knew as Carl. She watched as the two spoke before Riley reached into a tent pulling out a crossbow she then flicked the hat Carl wore before walking towards Lori, speaking for a moment and then disappeared into the woods. Carl walked over to the porch taking a seat beside Beth. Looking over Carl watched as Beth was locked onto the place Riley had been only a moment ago "that was Riley" he spoke causing Beth to look down at him 'Riley' Beth thought feeling a smile pull across her face "that's Daryl's sister the one that Shane left" Carl spoke with a slight edge in his voice. Beth had heard last night that a girl named Riley had returned to the farm. 'So that was Riley' she thought, looking down at Carl she asked "can you tell me about her" Beth watched as a smile came across the boys face "she's awesome" he stated "most bad ass person I know…besides Daryl" he added looking around. Beth laughed and listened as Carl told her about Riley Dixon a girl she already knew she loved'
Riley had agreed to take the first watch allowing the others to get some rest. She watched for a moment as Carl slept his chest rising and falling slowly. She glanced up when a shadow was cast; she smiled when her dad sat beside her turning to look at her he spoke
"you doing okay"
Riley looked at him for a moment the smile fading, she slowly nodded her head
"I did what I had to…you know that right" she spoke keeping her blue orbs locked onto his
Rick let out a breath "I do" he replied "you're aren't a bad person Riley"
'you ain't a bad person Dixon…trust me'
"you're right choices need to be made, this world doesn't let you always make the easy choice…you did the right thing. In the end it's about protecting yourself...protecting the ones you love"
Riley looked over at her dad and he gave her a slight smile. Looking down he noticed that she was holding a photograph in her hands. Riley followed his eyes and saw what he was looking at
"she's not dead" Riley mumbled glancing up she added "and neither is Judith"
Rick turned his eyes away; he wanted to believe her and sometimes he let himself, on some days it was the only thought that kept him going
"how come you never add Daryl to the list"
He turned back watching as the Dixon smirk graced her face
"cause there's no question"
Daryl watched as Beth turned the box over and over in her hands, she glanced up and saw that he was watching
"Riley was someone who when she said she would do something she did it; it may have taken time but she always came through." Beth spoke as she stopped spinning the box.
Daryl watched as she pulled her legs up to her chest and rested the box on her knees
"I use to bug Riley so much about using her crossbow, I loved watching her use it, I loved watching her walk with it swung over her shoulder. When she would come back from a hunt or fence duty and she would lean down to kiss me and had to grip the strap so it would slide." Beth stopped and closed her eyes willing the tears to stay at bay
"I love that girl" she whispered "I miss her, I miss her eyes and the way she would smirk at me…I miss seeing her hold Judith and joke with Carl" Beth stopped and looked at Daryl
"I know you miss her too"
Daryl looked away and bit his lip
"I miss everything about her….the first time she said she loved me…" Beth stopped and bit her bottom lip. Daryl looked over but decided to let that story rest
He watched as Beth clicked the box open, her eyes scanning something
As Beth reread the note tapped inside her heart beat grew faster and the tears she so badly wanted to stay at rest filled her eyes
'told you I keep my eyes open…I know it's not much and it's probably stupid but you need to know how much I love you; I would do anything for you Beth. It may not be a ring and I may not be doing this the right way; but I want to spend the rest of forever with you… I love you Greene'
Daryl waited until Beth was ready and then slowly watched as she held out the box; Daryl looked at it before gazing up at her, when she slowly nodded her head signaling that it was okay and he could he reached across and held the box in front of him reading the note. He glanced up at Beth to see she was staring off into the forest. Inside the box was a crossbow pendant. It was silver and had that antique look to it and as the light from the moon hit it Daryl could see that it looked just like the one Riley has.
"she always told me she would keep her eyes open…"
Daryl pulled the necklace from the box before leaning over and gesturing for Beth to turn around. She did and he clasped the necklace closed around her. Looking down Beth saw how prefect the two necklaces went together. As Daryl leaned back he asked
"did you know…about the other part"
Beth shook her head "I never thought it would cross her mind she was always the one that would say why does everyone need to know that we're in love when we know" Beth smirked
"I always wanted to…being able to call her my…"
Her voice falter and Daryl saw a little bit of the hope leave her eyes
"you will…we'll find her and you will"
Beth smiled at the man, this was the first time she had heard him say anything that could remotely be called optimistic.
Looking around Beth smiled "we should burn it"
Daryl watched the girl for a moment before standing with a smirk he held out a hand pulling Beth to her feet
"we're gonna need more booze"
As the sun started to rise Riley stood rubbing the dirt from her pants. She glanced over and saw Carl stand grabbing his bag and throwing it over his shoulder
"did you sleep at all" he questioned
Riley smirked and nodded her head walking over and pulling his hat down over his eyes
Michonne looked over at Rick who nodded his head letting the woman know that Riley had indeed slept.
"so we're really going to Terminus" Carl questioned looking between all three family members
Riley looked over to her dad while he stared back; they had talked last night about this and both agreed that it was their best bet at maybe finding more of their family….they also agreed they would have to be smart about it and not assume that it was all it was cracked out to be
'A comfortable stillness had fallen over Rick and Riley. Taking a breath Rick quietly spoke glancing back at his son "what are your thoughts on Terminus" Riley looked over at her dad and where his eyes were resting before turning back around and staring into the blackness of the forest "it's probably our best bet; you saw the map all the tracks lead there, if anyone else from our group saw it they probably are heading there too." Riley stopped and looked at her father "if and when we do go we need to have a plan, we go in smart and logical. Assume the worst." Rick looked at Riley as she turned looking back at Carl "pray for the best" he added. Riley tore her eyes away from her brother and looked back at her dad "you forgot that part…assume the worse pray for the best" Riley shook her head "I didn't forget"'
Rick nodded his head looking at Carl then Michonne. "we go…it could be our best chance at finding the rest. If we saw the signs then so did they…we go"
Daryl and Beth where standing outside the burning house. Beth smiled as the warmth of the flames heated up her skin. She threw her hand up and flipped the house off. She looked over and nudged Daryl with her other arm. Looking up Daryl saw what she was doing and did the same a small smile creeping onto his face as well.
As he watched the house burn he watched his messed up childhood go down with it; all the pain he ever felt turned to ash with that shack and the moonshine. Looking up he saw Walkers starting to migrate to the home like moths to a flame; lowering his hand he looked at Beth
"come on"
Rick and Michonne took point for a bit and allowed the two children to walk in the back. Glancing back Rick saw Riley say something to Carl using her hands to emphasis whatever it was; either way it made Carl double over in laugher and Riley shove him aside. Michonne glanced over seeing Rick smile when she peeked back a smile grew on her lips as well. It was good to see Riley interacting like that and keeping Carl humble and human.
"we will find them won't we" the black woman asked looking over.
Rick looked away from his children; thinking about the talk he had last night with Riley
"we have too"
Next chapter: Daryl and Beth at the funeral home; some more moments between Rick and Riley; Riley and Carl, and Riley and Michonne….maybe Carl and Rick as well. The next one might be a short one I haven't decided yet; I might choose to keep the focus on Daryl and Beth. There are some questions I left though like the talk between Rick and Riley; the first time Riley said "I love you" to Beth those will be answered. Let me know if there is anything in particular you want to see. Also did you all see the preview clip to season five; holy shit! We also caught a glimpse of Beth….It looks so good getting so excited! Anyway please review thanks! =)
