Disclaimer: The characters of Supernatural were created by Eric Kripke and are owned by Warner Brothers/CW Network. No profit is being made.

Supernatural – September 13, 2005-November 19, 2020

Readers Note: This is a coda of sorts for the series finale, "Carry On". I've wanted to write something since the finale aired but it took until now to start writing. I hope you like it.

Even in Heaven it can Storm

By Dawn Nyberg

" … Beneath the stains of time; the feelings disappear; you are someone else; I'm still right here …" Lyrics excerpt, Johnny Cash, "Hurt"

The embrace was warm, solid and had been so missed. Sam smiled softly over his brother's shoulder as they greeted each other on the bridge. Dean's ever familiar, "Hey Sammy" it was filled with the love of a big brother that Sam had missed for so long. Yet, in that moment of first seeing each other again the weight of everything still clung and he offered up a "Dean" and gladly welcomed the hug from his big brother.

After long moments of looking out over the water, Dean clapped a hand on Sam's back, "It's been a hellava day Sammy, how about we go see Mom and Dad? Bobby told me they got a place not far from the Roadhouse."

"What? You haven't seen them yet?" Sam couldn't believe his brother waited.

"Well, Bobby's the first person I've seen, we talked and then I told him I was going to take a drive. I haven't had the chance yet to swing by Mom and Dad's place." Sam was sorting the words out and trying to make sense of what his brother was saying.

"Wait," Sam's brow creased. "How long has it been for you up here?" Dean smiled and chuckled.

"Dude, I'm tellin' ya, I literally got here like maybe 5 hours ago. I've just been on a nice drive, and then you show up. Gotta say I'm surprised to see you so soon but I ain't complaining." Sam didn't say anything to correct him.

John was walking from the stables toward the house when Mary stepped through the screen door to the porch. "You feel them, too?" Mary's face was happy, sad and expectant all at once. John felt the same, to feel their children again and so close yet sadness that they were here but just so damn glad and sad at once. He heard the throaty rumble of the Impala and smiled. Mary walked up beside him and he pulled her close with his arm. She leaned in and waited for her boys.

The reunion had been everything Dean could have hoped for, his Mom and Dad had both hugged him and his brother, long and hard. Dean's family was complete. Sam was happy to see his parents once again but walking a step behind them all as they went into the house he watched his brother and saw his happiness and his parents, too, yet, a heaviness still clung.

Dinner had been good; it appeared his mom could cook in Heaven and way more than Winchester Surprise. The fried chicken not his normal fare but still delicious. Sam smiled and went through the motions, it wasn't all forced, he did feel happy to see his family again after so many years of grief. He laughed at his Dad's jokes and Dean chiming in with his two cents but a deep sadness was there.

"So, a small farm, huh?" Sam finally added to the dinner conversation. "I have to say, I never figured either of you for farm life." John chuckled.

"Not too much of a farm, Sammy, just four horses and some chickens. It's a nice life and your mom and I like to go riding together."

"So, Dad," Dean chimed in, "you and Mom ever go to Harvelle's?"

"Sure, we swing by for Black Jack Night and the occasional drink." John answered easily.

The dinner conversation went on for awhile and at some point everyone had left the table and while his mom was in the kitchen getting dessert ready, still a notion Sam was having trouble with because his Mom was so not a Martha Stewart or Betty Crocker. His Dad and Dean were engrossed in a conversation about cars when Sam slipped out the front door and walked down to the corral. The horses hadn't been put up for the night yet, so he watched them trot and walk about the large enclosure. His jaw was tight and his mind wandered. He jumped when a hand landed on his shoulder.

"Sorry, dude, I didn't mean to startle you," Dean smiled. When Sam looked at him and their eyes met briefly before Sam looked out back over the moonlit corral and Dean saw a familiar look, aka Sad Sam. "Man, Sammy, explain to me how you gotta be the only Eeyore in all of Heaven. We're in freakin' Heaven man, how can you be all emo?" He placed a hand on Sam's shoulder and his brother jerked away.

"How can I be sad?" Sam barked. "You don't know a damn thing about anything?" Dean put his hands up in surrender.

"Okay, Sammy, chill out man, I didn't mean anything."

"Sure you did because you're talking out your ass," Sam spat. His voice was angry but Dean could see the shiny hint of tears in his brother's eyes.

"Sam," his voice gentled.

"Don't, just don't," Sam snapped. "The bridge today, you said you went on a long drive, right? Like 5 hours maybe …" he paced back a forth.

"Yeah, but .." Dean started and stopped when Sam leveled a look at him that said to without words to shut up.

"Dean, how long do you think it was for me before I got here," Sam snapped and before Dean could respond, "Huh?! How long?!" he yelled.

"I don't know man, you look the same as you did in the barn when I died …" Dean saw Sam flinch at the word 'died'. "Bobby said time moves different up here, what a month or two, maybe a year?" The fist landed without warning and knocked Dean back a step or two; he just stared at his brother a moment, "what the hell, Sammy?" Dean glared.

"Forty-three years Dean," Sam's tone angry and accusatory. Dean just stared at him. Sam stared back.

"What?" was all Dean could muster at the moment.

"I had to go on Dean, 43 years. I met up with Eileen about six months after you …" he left the word 'died' hanging in the air unsaid, as if saying the words even now still hurt. "We settled in with each other, tried to hunt but we both decided it was time to quit and then we got married" Sam paused a moment and Dean remained silent. "We were married a year when we found out she was pregnant. We named him Dean, he's a good man," he looked at his brother and Dean could see Sam beaming with fatherly love and pride. "We didn't raise him in the life but when he was old enough we told him about the things in the dark. He even got the 'family crest' Sam smiled mostly to himself as memories of his son filled him up.

"When Dean was 14 we lost Eileen in a car accident, but we were a solid unit and I made sure I was whatever he needed, Mom, Dad, and friend. We were good, I know he missed his mom but we were good. I missed her like crazy but a piece of her was always with me through him." Sam turned toward his big brother and tears cascaded down his face. "I kept family pictures up everywhere, he always knew about his grandparent's and his Uncle Dean, always," Sam said that word 'always' with force. "The grief never went away Dean. I never got over that night in the barn, never. I just learned to move through it but I never got over it. I have missed you every moment since that night." He paused and looked out into the dark.

"Sammy, I'm sorry, I didn't realize, I'm …" Sam raised a hand to halt his words and Dean quit speaking.

"I never got over the fact you …" Sam couldn't say it not even now, 'died' so he broke off and started back up, "on some random vampire gig, it wasn't supposed to …" Dean cut him off now.

"Sammy, it went the way it was always going to go as long as we were still hunting. So, what we weren't saving the world, again" he paused and offered a gentle smile as he remembered how many times the Winchester's had pulled the world back from the brink. "A random vampire hunt or saving the world, so I wasn't saving the world that night, but we saved the world of those boys, didn't we?" Sam's jaw quivered and a tear dropped off the bottom of his jaw as he nodded. "I hated leaving you, man, I'm sorry," he offered. "So, you named my nephew after me, huh? Isn't that sweet," Dean said playfully and it got the response he was looking for, his little brother smiled just ever so slightly.

"I can't help it Dean," Sam started back up. "I am sad and I can't help that, for you its' been a few hours now and I'm glad for that, I am," he paused. "But, you gotta understand I have the weight of 43 years and all the memories that go with them." Sam's jaw tightened. "I miss him Dean, my son. You know the last thing he said to me, 'it's okay Dad, you can go,' Sam choked. "I'm here Dean, I am, but I'm also there, too. I'm happy to be here with you and Mom and Dad but …"

"You miss your family," Dean's voice was understanding but Sam heard the sadness.

"You're my family Dean and that won't change and it's not diminished because of what I made for myself after you left." Dean picked up on that one word 'left' and realized that even now Sam couldn't say 'died' and he remembered back to that moment a life time ago but just yesterday all at once in Cold Oak and he understood his little brother's need to change a word or leave it unsaid. He got it. Dean stepped forward and grabbed his brother and pulled him into a strong hug and after a moment of stiffness he felt his little brother give into fully and he wept into his brother's shoulder. Dean saw his father looking out the screen door at them and he just held up a hand for a moment and saw his father understand and silently go back inside leaving his boys to do what they had always done, watch out for each other and be there for one another.

Some time later, maybe days, months or many years … did it really matter in the end, but Sam stood watching at a family cookout all the people that mattered to him throughout his life were there, Dean, Mom, Dad, Bobby, Ellen, Jo, Ash, even Rufus, Jodi, Donna, and the list went on and on. But, it was the hand that slipped into his as he watched with a smile, he turned and looked into his wife's eyes and Eileen smiled back. "Hey Dad!" their son yelled, "You gotta hear this Wendigo story Uncle Dean's telling me about, you never told me about him lighting up one with a flare gun," his son smiled and jogged back to the party. Eileen gave his hand a squeeze and pulled him with her to join their family and friends. Sam realized something – that peace and happiness are two different things that can arrive at different times but when they arrive at the same moment it is a contentment he'd never experienced until now. Sam joined his family and friends and smiled as his big brother regaled his namesake with stories from their youth. He met eyes with his big brother and saw the love there and in that moment among their family and friends, Sam and Dean Winchester were simply and utterly complete in every way.

The End … "But then again... nothing ever really ends, does it?"

End note: quote from Season 5 Finale, episode 22, "Swan Song"