AN: Some background on this, I had the idea of Lina facing off with Gourry's mother kicking around for a long time (I just thought she got off too easy in my previous stuff to not have to navigate the MIL relationship, so I gave her the ultimate MIL from Hell to make up for it). This was my first attempt, written pretty much a year before I started Neverending. This fic never worked for me and I remembered being hopelessly frustrated by it. Re-reading it I don't know why I hated it so much as it has some nuance I like and has Guloisa more as a frustrating person rather than an evil one, and was rather hilarious, though from what I recall I tried several times to write past what I have and didn't like how any of those attempts turned out and deleted them all and had no idea where to go with it. Eventually when I decided to write Neverending the Guloisa plotline got roped in and this was completely abandoned. Anyway, hope it gives a chuckle.


"It's so exciting to be back together again!" Amelia said chipperly as she pulled the sandwiches from the picnic basket while Sylphiel poured the lemonade.

"We're just so glad you could make it." Lina said as she grabbed one and bit into it.

"We wouldn't have missed it for the world!" Amelia said as she held Zelgadis's hand.

"Still, you two have to be pretty busy. Running a kingdom is hard work." Gourry said as he grabbed some chicken.

"And you would know how?" Lina asked.

"You'd be surprised how much of running a kingdom is going to celebrations such as weddings." Amelia said, "Diplomacy, keeping in touch with allies and the like. And I would have come either way, but considering that your status as a native hero of Zeferia has ensured that the Eternal Queen herself will be present at your wedding, it was considered important that we attend to maintain warm relations with your kingdom."

Lina shook her head as the panicked feeling she had ever since she and Gourry had formally announced their engagement rose. Not for the first time, she wished they had just quietly eloped, "I just still can't believe that all of these royal families are going to be at my wedding."

"Well I still can't believe you're settling down!" Zelgadis said.

"Me neither, come to think of it." Lina said as she reached for her sandwich and found it missing. She looked beside her to see that Gourry had stolen her it and was on his way to taking a bite out of it.

Lina whacked him on the head, "That was mine!"

"Is that any way to treat him?" an indignant voice proclaimed, and Lina turned to see a tall, shapely women at the cusp of old age standing behind them. She was glaring at Lina with her fierce blue eyes and her arms were folded across her chest in a disapproving manner.

"So I slap him around when we eat." Lina yelled, "How is it your business anyway?"

Gourry, meanwhile, had turned pale as if he had seen a ghost. Slowly he got up, wearing a strange expression on his face that Lina had never seen before as he stared at the woman, "What are you doing here?"

"Wait," Lina said, "You know this woman?"

Gourry nodded.

"And you remember who she is?"

"Well, yeah." Gourry said.

"Of course he remembers me!" the woman snapped crossly as Lina felt her irritation war with her curiosity. "I didn't raise an idiot."

Lina snorted, "You could have fooled me." Then her mouth dropped, "Wait a minute, did you say 'raise him?'"

Zel, Amelia and Sylphiel nodded sagely while Lina's hair stood up as Gourry said, "She's my mother."

Lina's mind drew a blank. Was she hearing him correctly? "But…but I thought you said that your family was all dead!" Lina protested.

"So you're a liar as well as a shrew!" Gourry's mother said, and Lina's stomach turned as she realized that her first meeting with a member of her husband to be's family was going very, very poorly. "Gourry knows good and well that I'm alive, and he would never say otherwise."

"Not that I really remember," Gourry muttered, "But I do say that so people won't ask questions, so Lina's telling the truth that I said that. Anyway," he said quickly as his mother opened her mouth to retort, "This is my mother, Guloisa Gabriev. Mom, this is my fiancé, Lina Inverse, and don't think too much about what you just saw. We just like to fight over food."

"I think we got off on the wrong foot." Lina said, unsure if she should hold out her hand or open her arms for a hug. But then, considering that Guloisa was currently glaring daggers at her, Lina decided that a handshake would be a better idea. "It's real good to meet you! I mean, I've been wanting to meet some of Gourry's family."

"Humph." Guloisa scoffed, "What sort of prospective daughter-in-law doesn't greet her future mother-in-law with a hug?"

Lina felt her eyebrow twitch and strange divide within her between her impulse to tell Guloisa off and the desire to be liked by her future mother-in-law. And considering that Lina didn't often give a damn about what people thought about her, it was an awkward position for her to be in. So she said through gritted teeth, "I thought considering we didn't start on the best of terms it might be better to wait."

"You're obviously not as brave as they say you are." Guloisa said, "Gourry, be honest, have you been the real hero and letting her take the credit? You always were too gallant for your own good."

"What!?" Lina screeched.

Gourry put a hand on her arm, "No. Lina's really amazing, once you get to know her, you'll love her."

"Humph." Guloisa sniffed skeptically.

"Anyway," Gourry said nervously, "Mom, that man is Zel, the woman beside him is Amelia, and the other woman is Sylphiel."

Guloisa looked them over appraisingly. "Sylphiel would be much better wife material. Lina is rather tiny. I doubt she could carry a child, much less suckle one with breasts as small as hers."

Lina's hands balled into fists as her eyes glowed, "What did you just say?"

"Hey, Mom, how did you get here anyway?" Gourry said quickly, "Why don't you have a sandwich?"

Guloisa accepted a sandwich and sat down, "Well, after you ran off like a thief in the night, the fighting only got worse. Eventually I fled to a small town on the border of Seyruun to get away from it and lived there quietly for a few years. Then word reached the village that Princess Amelia was traveling to Zefiel City for the marriage of Gourry Gabriev, so I decided to see if I could find you. And so I did."

She took a bit from the sandwich and her eyes lit up, "I say! This is truly delectable! Did you make these, Lina? Because any woman who could would be a fine wife for my son!"

"Um, actually…" Lina started.

"She worked very hard on them." Sylphiel interjected. "Miss Lina is full of surprises."

Guloisa looked at Sylphiel and then at Lina, and Lina realized that, despite Sylphiel's efforts to be nice, she had once again been taken down a notch. "I see."

Sylphiel frowned as Amelia cut in, "You made good timing. The wedding is exactly a week from today!"

"Yes, I'm glad I won't miss it." Guloisa said. "So tell me Gourry, which hotel are you staying at? I'd like to check in."

"Well, actually, Gourry has been staying with my folks." Lina said, figuring that she finally had an opportunity to score some daughter-in-law points. "But you're welcome to stay. My sis got married a year ago and her room is free."

But at the look of panic on Gourry's face, Lina once again feared that she had done something wrong as Guloisa said, "Gourry is staying with you? You mean he is living in your house when you are still not yet married!?"

Lina's heart raced as she tried to explain, "Look, we've been traveling together for ten years! We're just used to being together. Besides, this is cheaper. We're opening up a school so we need to save every penny."

Guloisa stared at her piercingly, "And you're used to being with each other as husband and wife before the wedding?"

Lina blushed, "That's a very personal question!"

"And you expect people to send their children to a sullied woman?"

Lina turned so red she couldn't speak as Amelia said, "People don't really care about that so much. Miss Lina is an expert sorceress, Mr. Gourry is an expert swordsman. They've been on a lot of legendary adventures. People will be lining up to be trained by them! They really could care less when they started bunking up together."

Guloisa stared at Gourry disapprovingly, "How can you be with a woman who would lay with a man who isn't her husband?"

"Well, considering I'm the one who did the laying…"

"Could we talk about something else!" Lina screeched.

"Well there's no need to take that tone of voice!" Guloisa said.

"Look, Mom," Gourry said, "Why don't we take a break. Zel and Amelia can show you where we plan to hold the ceremony, I'll calm Lina down. Then I'll meet you there and we can talk for a bit and I'll take you to meet Lina's folks at dinner.