Chapter 10 – Fade

(A State Between the Old and the New)

"It seems like you're almost completely fine," Takano smiled. "I personally think you don't need any more sessions, Kisa-san."

Kisa sighed in relief. It had been a month that he started having these sessions with Takano. The psychologist was a major help in improving Kisa's mental health, but it was a fact that Yukina was a big part of it, too. Although he couldn't help Kisa to get over his past, their love for each other was like a magical cure for the mess that had been in Kisa's head for a very long time.

"Thank you very much for everything," Kisa bowed in front of Takano. "I can't put into words just how grateful I am."

Takano drew a deep breath. He seemed truly happy.

"I'm glad I could help you. And I wish you the best."

Kisa waved a bye, and left the office, walking down in the deserted corridor. It was the end of the day, and since almost everyone had left the building already, Takano decided to hold the last talking session in his school office. And hearing that, in his opinion, Kisa was doing fine, was a huge relief.

But still, there was a huge problem – Kisa's notice wasn't over yet. In fact, he had one and a half weeks to go, and the last few days were literal nightmares. Whenever he ran into Yukina, or Yukina ran into him, they both got awkward and flustered. Honestly, Kisa was surprised that no one had found out about them already.

Well, that was for the best.

Anyway, he had absolutely no idea how to survive the following days. He was scared to death that before he could leave, people would find out about him dating his own student. Things had been going great, no, perfectly fine in the last several weeks, and Kisa didn't want it all to be destroyed. He couldn't do anything but be extremely careful, and be as casual around Yukina as he could. Although he wasn't the biggest actor after all…

Also, Kisa had spent every night with job searching. He had no idea if he was going to be successful or not. All he knew is that he had this feeling that he was going to be fine.


A pain in the neck – that was how Kisa could have described the following one and a half weeks. Yokozawa kept trying to talk to him about his resignation, and for the hundredth time, Kisa told him that he was certain about it. Miyagi only told him that he would miss him once he was gone, and the rest of his colleagues agreed. Takano was the only one who didn't bother Kisa with things like this. It seemed that he was the only one who fully acknowledged that he would be gone shortly.

As for Yukina, well, he seemed to bump into Kisa more than usual. And Kisa seemed to be the same. At every corner, in nearly every classroom, almost everywhere in that damn building. At one point, one of Yukina's friends tried to make a bad joke about them running into each other unusually often, but Kisa's death stare made him go quiet in a millisecond.

Two days before his notice ended, Kisa was sitting in his living room, his eyes red and aching from staring at the screen of his laptop for hours straight. With fingers crossed, he was waiting for replies from employers. Just as he was slowly falling asleep with the TV on in the background, his phone buzzed. It scared him, and he needed a second before picking up.

"Hello?"

And it had finally happened. One of the schools called him back. It was a soft female voice on the other end of the phone. Kisa's stomach clenched. The woman told him that she reviewed his application, and that she will be waiting to see him on an interview in a week. Kisa felt so happy he nearly cried when the woman hung up the phone.

He leaned back on the couch, softly chuckling from happiness and relief. He did it. He resigned, and he had an interview at a new place due.

He felt glad and grateful, and at this point, he was certain that he was on the right path. As he closed his eyes, he couldn't help but cry in happiness. After ten damned years, it was time for him to finally be blessed.

Kisa took a shaky breath as he wiped the corner of his eyes. He grabbed his phone, and dialled Yukina's number to tell him the good news. It rang for only a few second, and Yukina picked up the phone immediately.

"Kisa-san?"

"I just got a call from NN High School. I'll attend an interview next week."

Yukina gasped on the other end.

"My god, it's awesome! Congratulation!"

"Thanks. It should be okay…"

Yukina went silent for a few seconds, and Kisa just realised that he had said that last sentence out loud. He didn't mean to. He covered his mouth with his free hand.

"Huh? What should be okay?"

"Nah, don't mind me. I'm kinda tired, I'm capable of saying weird things," Kisa let out and embarrassed laughter. "Anyway, I just wanted to tell you the big news."

"Thank you! I'm glad you did."

Kisa's mouth curved into a small smile.

"Well, you're my boyfriend after all."

The next day was somewhat easier now that there was an interview Kisa could look forward. It still didn't help the fact that whenever he ran into Yukina in school, the brunet would look at him like he was God himself.

The closer the last day was, the more Kisa had realised he would miss this school. Or maybe he was just so used to this environment that subconsciously, he was kind of scared of change. He looked at the familiar faces, and he thought about the restart. Getting to know everyone, getting along with everyone – and this time, in a high school.

Kisa sighed when he left that evening. Yukina had to study hard these days as he had tests coming up. And that reminded Kisa when he was correcting his tests, and how he wouldn't do that anymore. It made him feel a little sad, even though he knew that leaving this university was for the better. For the sake of them.

All he could think of was the upcoming interview. It made him nervous, but also a little excited. Although the thought of a new workplace was somewhat scary, it was also exciting. He let out a long breath.

What a long journey the last two months felt… Getting into this risky, adventurous relationship with Yukina; getting better with the help of Takano; meeting Yukina's parents… Forgetting. Healing.

Kisa smiled as he hopped on the bus, and just after him, Yukina hopped on. Kisa turned around quite surprised.

"Shouldn't you be home?"

Yukina nodded with a smile.

"Yeah, I was heading to yours as I need some help with my studies."

Kisa shook his head with a smirk.

"You're so silly…"

"Now why?"

"Just because I said so."

They took a seat somewhere in the middle of the bus. Yukina kept asking why Kisa said he was silly, and Kisa kept laughing at him softly. Yukina did the same. And then, for a long moment, they went silent, and just kept staring at each other. But then…

"How come I always run into you?"

Kisa turned towards the soft female voice, just to see the old woman. He smiled at her, and she smiled back. Yukina looked a little puzzled, but greeted the old lady formally.

"Is this a friend of yours?" she asked Kisa.

"Umm… not quite…" Kisa chuckled. He got a slightly bit embarrassed. "And yeah, we keep bumping into each other quite often."

From the very first time Kisa had seen this lady, he felt like he knew her. But he couldn't figure who she was. And now it was, like, the fourth time he had run into her in a pretty short time. His thought started running wild in his head, but he stopped them. Maybe the lady was familiar because she looked like the mother of an old friend of his.

No, that wasn't the case. None of his old friends had died, as far as he was concerned. But still, this lady could look like someone else he knew.

Or maybe he was just overthinking. He was always overthinking every single thing.

"You know, my dear, I've been wondering why I keep running into you," she chuckled softly, and Kisa raised his eyebrows.

"Hmm… I don't know, to be completely honest," he replied. "We always take the same bus, the same route, so we must be living in the same district."

"No, I get off later than you. And as far as I know, the stop after yours is already a different district."

Kisa nodded.

"Well, we're still taking the same route, so that should be it."

"And what about you, darling?" the old lady now turned her gaze towards Yukina. "How old are you? You look young, yet you look older than the gentleman next to you."

Kisa blushed a little. Yukina laughed.

"I'm twenty-one, ma'am."

"Oh, you're going to university! That's nice." Now she turned back to Kisa. "Didn't you say you were lecturing at a university? Could it be that you're lecturing at the same university this young gentleman is going to?"

They both nodded.

"I see," the old lady smiled. She didn't ask more, and honestly, Kisa was grateful for that. He didn't want to go into details about why he was so close with a student.

Soon, they got off the bus, and Yukina turned towards Kisa.

"Did you know her?"

Kisa shook his head.

"As you could hear, we just keep bumping into each other. I wonder why, though."

Yukina seemed to get lost in his thoughts for a moment, but then, he just shrugged.

"It's normal, I guess."

When they got to Kisa's apartment, the first thing Yukina did was kissing Kisa. For a second, Kisa wanted to pull away and ask him what he was thinking, but then he just kissed Yukina back. It had been a week or so since they had last seen each other.

"I missed you," Yukina whispered against Kisa's lips.

"I missed you, too… But you have to study. You have tests coming up, don't you?"

"Hmm…"

Yukina put his backpack on the floor, and took a seat on the couch. It was almost like he was at home. Kisa was quite happy that Yukina felt this comfortable at his place.

Kisa handed him a bottle of water as they started studying. It wasn't like Yukina needed too much help, but somehow, Kisa was glad he asked for it. Even though all he did was kneeling on the floor at the small coffee table, across from Yukina, and just watched him study.

"Kisa-san…?"

"Yeah?"

Yukina stretched and yawned before he spoke.

"I keep thinking that I might not be able to hold a conversation in English, so…"

Kisa grunted.

"Are you a moron or something? Your English is decent."

"Yeah, my written English is decent, I can tell that," Yukina sighed loudly. "But I'm not sure I could talk to someone if I had to."

"I'm pretty sure you could."

"Can I try having a conversation with you, Kisa-san?"

Kisa had no idea what to say. He expected a lot of things – complaints, doubt, whining –, but he sure didn't expect Yukina asking him to talk to him in English. Kisa rubbed his forehead with a sigh.

"Okay. Is there a specific topic you wanna talk about?"

Yukina thought for a moment.

"Actually, I'd like to ask you a few questions, since there's a lot of things I don't know about you."

"Sure," Kisa nodded, although he wasn't very sure how the whole thing would turn out. "Go ahead, then."

And Yukina did. He started the conversation, and the first thing he asked when Kisa's birthday was. Then he asked about what Kisa was like in high-school, how he found out he was attracted to men, and he went on and on asking questions. Kisa kept on answering all of them, and as he expected, Yukina's spoken English wasn't as bad as Yukina thought it was.

And Kisa couldn't help, but notice that although Yukina had asked a lot of questions about his teenage years, he hadn't asked anything about what he was like in university. Kisa knew it was on purpose – he wasn't a dumb kid at all, and he knew that the painful events in Kisa's past all happened during those years.

Kisa smiled. He was grateful.

"Did I do great?" Yukina asked excitedly.

"Of course you did." Now Kisa stood up, and ruffled Yukina's hair. "Wanna have some dinner?"

With sparkly eyes, Yukina nodded. He didn't have much – he didn't expect Yukina to spend the evening at his apartment.

"Kisa-san, are you even eating properly?"

"Huh?"

"There's almost nothing in your fridge," Yukina pointed out. And Kisa knew he was right.

"Yeah, right, well, I didn't really have time for shopping is all."

Yukina sighed so loud as if he was Kisa's parent or guidance. Kisa found it a little absurd, but it was also embarrassing that a kid nine years his junior had to be worried about him, and not the other way around.

"Okay, let's go to grab some-"

Before Yukina could finish, Kisa grabbed his arm.

"I'm tired, so what if we just order a pizza instead?"

Yukina threw a huge, perfect grin.

"Yay! Date night!"

They stopped studying, and instead, Kisa turned on the TV. Yukina said that there was quiet a few good films airing that night, so they could watch them while eating pizza. And that's exactly what they did.

After taking a shower, they cuddled up on the couch with a blanket and two boxes of pizza. Kisa had no idea about what films would be on TV, but as longs as he was with Yukina, he didn't mind. Staring at the screen of his TV made him sleepier anyway, and soon, as he leaned against Yukina's shoulder, he had slowly fallen asleep.


Kisa was woken up by his aching back. He sat up on the couch and rubbed his eyes. The lights were still on in the living room, but Yukina wasn't next to him. Kisa looked around, and he noticed that the light were on in his bedroom, and shortly, Yukina appeared at the door.

"Oh, you're up. Sorry, did I wake you up?"

"No, my back did," Kisa stretched. "I think I slept kinda funny."

Yukina smiled.

"I got your bed ready, and honestly, I was gonna carry you into bed."

They both blushed. Kisa imagined Yukina carrying him into his bedroom, and it was like a weird scene from a Disney movie.

"Well, I'm up, so you don't have to," he replied. "Let's go to bed."

Kisa headed to the bedroom, and Yukina followed him, turning the lights off in the living room. He turned to take a look, and Kisa glanced at him. Did he see fear in Yukina's eyes?

He pulled the blanket on him and cuddled one of his pillows.

"Kisa-san, what if there's something out there?"

"What do you mean?"

"Like… a ghost."

Kisa grunted so loud that for a second, he was quite sure the neighbours could hear him, too.

"Go to sleep, moron."

Yukina chuckled.

"I'm just kidding, the ghost is in your bedroom now."

"Are you trying to be spooky?"

A second of silence. Yukina giggled next to him.

"I'm sorry."

Kisa shook his head, but he couldn't hold back a smile at his cute silliness. Yukina was such a moron after all. Kisa pulled closer to him, and wrapped his arm around the brunet.

Such a silly thing.

Ghosts.

He was thirty years old, he didn't believe in such things.


A/N:

Hey there. I'm not quite sure who's following the story, but I'm sorry for taking too long. In my defence, I have a couple of chapters written, I just have to re-read them before uploading. And I hope I can finish the story before NaNoWriMo.

Thanks for supporting my story in any form^^

Ricchan