~It's that time again…immunity challenge is yet again upon us. The eight remaining castaways emerge from the jungle with the immunity necklace around a confederate's neck. The group is still marvelous…however, not the marvel it once was. Killer Keemstar has the hidden immunity idol around his neck, we soon discover. Parading it off with such aplomb that it HAS to be a mind game…that or he just doesn't give a shit any longer. They stand on the Savadigm mat, ready for a very excited Chris McLean to dish out their instructions. Phillip spots a wooden platform out above the lake and immediately throws his arms up in frustration~
Phillip DeFranco (to Chris): Seriously? Balancing? You've got to be kidding me!
Chris McLean (to Phillip): Hey! Everybody relax…just cool out, okay? Nobody said anything about a challenge featuring balance…for all you know, that platform could be a hundred years old.
Phillip DeFranco (to Chris): It doesn't look a hundred years old.
Chris McLean (to Phillip): Well then sixty years old, alright? That's not the point…the point is you shouldn't assume this challenge is centered on balance…okay? So, everybody repeat after me…we will not assume this challenge is centered on balance…
Everyone: We will not assume this challenge is centered on balance.
Chris McLean: GREAT! Now, get ready…because this challenge is centered on balance.
Phillip DeFranco (to Chris): Son of a bitch!
~DeFranco makes a quick attempt toward Chris…Whis and Frieza are able to hold him back. He finally calms down~
Chris McLean (to Phillip): Whoa, bro! I never said it WASN'T centered on balance. I merely stated you shouldn't assume such things. Anyway…here are the details. There's a wooden beam out there…long enough to fit all eight contestants. After fifteen minutes, one of the beams will be removed, making the platform skinnier…we will continue to remove these beams until one, super skinny beam remains. The person who lasts the longest, atop that platform wins individual immunity.
~Chris turns to the Alt-Right Icon Richard Spencer~
Chris (to Richard Spencer): Spencer…I'll be needing that necklace back.
Richard Spencer (to Chris): You sure? How about I hold onto it and share it with a person of my choosing after the challenge.
Chris McLean (to Richard Spencer): That's enough! I don't want to hear another word about Keemstar and his idol. One more word and I will LATHER that beam with vaseline.
Prince Ali (to Chris): Do you always have Vaseline handy?
Sam Manson: Vaseline handy…haha.
~The rest of the tribe laughs…even Daniel chuckles a bit. Abu howls and slaps his knee while perched atop a tree branch. Frieza's head kinda shakes, so we take that as a laugh. Chris looks at the sand…he kicks at it in anger~
Chris McLean: Just…just…get to the beams!
~We flash forward. All eight competitors are on the beam. Keemstar still has his makeshift necklace on. Chris is on the beach, looking out over the river. DeFranco is already teetering~
Chris McLean: Survivor's ready…and…go!
~Phillip continues to sway back and forth. Whis is in front of him, Spencer is behind him. His arms flail around as he seeks balance~
Richard Spencer (to Phillip): Watch them arms, Phillip
Phillip DeFranco (to Richard): Sorry…but balance just isn't my thing.
~Phillip nearly falls in…he staggers back, his giant right arms smacks Spencer in the mouth…Richard falls off the beam and slaps at the water~
Richard Spencer: What the hell?! Chris!
Chris McLean (to Richard Spencer): And Richard Spencer has been eliminated!
Richard Spencer (to Chris): Are you shitting me?! Fuck this!
~Spencer swims toward Chris. He gets out of the river and walks directly for the host~
Chris McLean (to Richard Spencer): Whoa, whoa…hold it right there.
Richard Spencer (to Chris): Nothing is going to get in the way of me kicking your ass
Chris McLean: I could give Keemstar another idol
~Spencer comes to an abrupt halt~
Richard Spencer (to Chris): Fuck you, Chris.
~He finds the log and takes a seat, pissed off~
Richard Spencer: WEAK ASS Chris!
Chris McLean: We are down to seven…could be six, soon
~Phillip stops swaying and finds a smidge of balance. His body still trembles. If he wins…it would be a miracle~
Chris McLean: Alright, let's remove a beam!
~A beam is removed. Phillip's legs shake…his arms wiggle…he's staring intently at the beams…sweat leaks off the edge of his forehead. Via process of elimination…Frieza is behind Phillip~
Frieza (to Phillip): Phillip…hold still. If you can't find balance there's no shame in jumping off.
Phillip DeFranco (to Frieza): I'm not giving up on this, Frieza. I can win.
Frieza (to Phillip): Well, just be careful…that's all I'm saying.
~Phillip begins to sway. Was it a gust of wind? Probably not…he's shakier than a trailer caught in a tornado. He staggers backward! He bumps into Frieza…Frieza has no choice but to leap off the platform and into the water. His expression looks up at DeFranco and shakes, negatively. He swims back to shore~
Chris McLean (to Phillip): Frieza has been eliminated!
Richard Spencer (to Frieza): Take a seat next to ole Richard, Frieza. We've both been fucked!
Frieza (to Richard Spencer): I'd be fine with this being our final 'balance' challenge.
~Samurai Jack is now behind Phillip. He looks over his shoulder, toward DJ Killer Keemstar and tries to negotiate a switch~
Samurai Jack (to Daniel Keem): Keemstar, if you switch with me then I promise to possibly not vote for you at the next tribal council.
Daniel Keem (to Samurai Jack): No, I want to see you head home. I said that on the first day.
Samurai Jack (to Daniel Keem): Okay, I promise to probably not vote for you at the next tribal council
Daniel Keem (to Samurai Jack): No!
Samurai Jack (to Daniel Keem): Fucking unreasonable idiot.
~Chris looks down at his super sleek albeit kind of old TIMEX digital watch. It beeps~
Chris McLean: Let's remove another beam!
Samurai Jack: Fuck.
~Another beam is removed…Phillip's arms wave around in circles…he staggers back, barreling into Samurai Jack! Samurai Jack crashes into the river. He lets out a deep sigh and swims back to shore. He sits with Frieza and Spencer~
Chris McLean (to Samurai Jack): And Samurai Jack has been eliminated!
~Killer Keemstar tries to stay as far back from Phillip as possible. His ass bumps into Sam~
Sam Manson (to Daniel Keem): Get off me!
~She pushes Keemstar forward, closer to the dreaded DeFranco~
Daniel Keem: Damnit.
~Keemstar keeps his eye on Phillip hoping to avoid an encounter. Phillip seems somewhat stable…for now~
Chris McLean: Let's remove…another beam!
~Another beam is ripped away by local Brazilians who are likely being paid in table scraps to work for Cartoon Crossover Survivor. They are down to three, skinny beams. Phillip shakes…he's about to fall back. Keemstar weaves his upper body, attempting to find a way to avoid what's likely to come~
Richard Spencer (to Phillip): C'mon, Phillip…knock his ass off!
~Phillip finally falters horribly…he rails into Keemstar! Keemstar is going to fall…before he does, the snares Phillip's arm and takes him out alongside! The two men crash into the water. The three on shore cheer. Whis, Sam and Ali can be heard sighing with relief. Phillip and Daniel swim back to shore~
Chris McLean: Phillip DeFranco and Daniel Keem have both been eliminated!
Richard Spencer (to Daniel Keem): Haha…how did you like that Keemstar?
~Keemstar flashes Richard the idol around his neck~
Richard Spencer: Yea, yea, not for long, bitch.
~Keemstar sits far away from everyone else. We are down to three~
Chris McLean: Okay…a much safer apparatus, suddenly. No offense to the marvelous one. Looks like it's going to be either Sam, Ali or Whis…let's see who wins out!
~Time goes by…we've reached another fifteen minute interval~
Chris McLean: Let's remove a beam!
~The competitors are forced to shift due to the wooden subtraction. Whis' feet are too long for the width of the remaining beams. He puts one in front of the other, to keep them from stressing against the edge. Aladdin has little feet…he's a little guy. And Sam's delicate feet seem to be completely fine. The three competitors continue to duel it out as Chris looks down at his clock~
Chris McLean: Okay…it's time to remove that final beam!
~The final beam removed. And now…it gets really difficult. The super skinny, remaining beam digs right into their feet. The competitors continually shift their feet around to alleviate the pain and pressure of the previous positioning. Prince is having the most difficulty~
Chris McLean: Aladdin looking shaky.
~Aladdin makes a move and shakes his body. Aladdin, while shaking, loses his balance and falls into the river!~
Chris McLean: And Aladdin has been eliminated!
~Aladdin is a chill guy…so he just shrugs and swims back to shore. He relaxes on the sand with Abu lecturing him on taking the challenge more seriously~
Chris McLean: And we are down to two…Sam Manson…and The Perfect One…Whis
~Sam seems perturbed~
Sam Manson (to Chris): Keep that Vasoline sealed, Chris
~Sam is behind Whis...she's facing his back. The two seems immovable. So, Chris takes a seat as time begins to shift forward. It goes from HIGH NOON to late afternoon. The sky is yawning…the sun is fading…it's getting late~
Chris McLean: Hmm…
~Chris realizes this could go on all night. He brings the impoverished Brazilian employees over and throws a suggestion their way. One of them makes a 'vroom vroom' noise while holding both hands toward the sky. Chris gives him a thumb up~
Sam Manson: What was that?
Chris McLean: We're going to call an audible…otherwise we might be forced to have Tribal Council right here.
~The Brazilian employees return with a chainsaw. Spencer laughs. Sam looks over, through the corner of her eye…she doesn't appear to be okay with this. Whis has his eyes shut…his mind is somewhere else as he blocks out the fatigue and pain~
Chris McLean: And now it's time to remove half of the remaining beam!
Sam Manson: WHAT?!
~The chainsaw starts up. The Brazilians laugh maniacally. The approach from Sam's side. They go to work on the remaining beam. Sam is NOT okay with this. She looks over her shoulder, frantically. They draw closer…and closer…and closer…finally, it's too close. She leaps off, diving into the water~
Chris McLean: Sam Manson has been eliminated! Whis wins Immunity!
~Whis turns around. The chainsaw is nearly at his feet. He extends his hand in the 'stop' gesture. The Brazilians listen, coming to a halt. The power and presence Whis wields is impressive. He hops off the remaining beam and swims to shore. We flash forward to a shot of the entire Savadigm tribe on their mat~
Chris McLean: Congratulations, Whis…that's your second individual immunity…well earned!
~Everyone aside from Daniel and Sam claps. Whis steps forward, claiming the necklace for the second time in three challenges~
Chris McLean: Whis cannot be voted for at the next tribal council. You all can head back to camp now and figure out what you're going to do. I'll see you at tribal shortly!
~Groovy tribal music plays as we get a shot of the Savadigm members heading back to camp~
