Dad and Michonne came home later than I expected. A day later than I expected. And Daryl wasn't with them. I felt the fear bubbling, the tension rolling through my body as I tried, in front of Judith to cover it by smiling and asking if there had been more problems.

"Yeah, sweetheart," Dad answered, lifting Judith up and kissing her cheek. "Give me-"

I smiled, let him have a few minutes to decompress from whatever the two of them had seen. "Sure, no rush." But Michonne saw my worry, saw me checking the road for Daryl.

"He's at Hilltop, Jessi." She answered and I felt my blood run cold. "He's fine. He just wanted to-"

"Leave the Sanctuary." I answered. I'd known. Of course I had, he'd mentioned it often enough, but I had assumed that he'd take me with him, or at least let me have a say in our final home.

"Actually, he's there to help Maggie and Glenn with some issues," Dad corrected. He looked at me with a look I knew well. Let Judith have some time with her Dad and Mom and then we'd sit down and talk.

"OK." I said, walking toward the door. "I'll just go-"

"How is he?" Michonne asked, walking with me to the porch. Negan? Why would she care?

I turned to face her. She looked different, tired most certainly, but whatever happened on the run, whatever was keeping Daryl at Hilltop, wasn't simple to get through. "He's fine. Tired, but that's probably from boredom."

She nodded, looking distracted. "Kenneth is dead." Ah, that would do it. "And-" She took a deep breath and looked into my eyes. "There was an attempt on Maggie's life."

"What?" I nearly screamed, but knew that it would bring Judith rushing out to me. "What happened?"

Michonne glanced behind her, making sure that Dad had Judith occupied and then walked to a couple chairs. We sat down and she told me about it. That Gregory, the turncoat that they'd allowed back into the Hilltop, had talked Ken's dad Earl into trying to kill Maggie. That in his grief he'd done it, failing, but hurting both Maggie and Enid in his attempt. And so, Daryl stayed after helping Glenn and Maggie execute Gregory. My throat tightened at the thought of it, and Michonne's hand touched mine.

"They felt they had to." I looked at her face and realized that she wasn't sure she agreed with it. "He stayed, but he'll be back for you, Jessi."

I nodded. Of course he would. "Is Hershel?"

"He's fine." She smiled. "Growing fast. Looks like his daddy." I hadn't gotten the chance to see him, not yet. Going to Hilltop brought me no joy. "Glenn asked about you. He wanted to know when you're coming to see your godson."

I sighed. I felt the title was gifted to me for the wrong reasons. For a proposed sacrifice that never happened. And it ill suited me. I was happy that he'd lived to see his son born, that he was getting to raise him. But I shouldn't be applauded for it, not when they also knew that I loved the man who would have willingly snuffed that possibility away.

"I can't." I stood, and folded my arms across my chest. "I'm sorry, Michonne, but I can't. I love Maggie and Glenn. I'm sure I'd love baby Hershel, but Hilltop? No."

I saw her nod as I walked down the steps and toward Negan's prison. The only prisoner in a war that wasn't over. Not really.

Daryl came back to Alexandria. He hugged me tight and told me of the plans for a new bridge. Dad had mentioned it, but he was dealing with the day to day running of Alexandria. And he was enjoying time with Judith, so I couldn't fault him for not sharing.

"I'm staying here, Daryl." I said it with my face pressed against his chest, breathing in the scent of him. "The bridge isn't far, and if you're planning on rebuilding it there, then I can come to you as much as we want to spend time together." His agreement vibrated through my cheek. "I love you, but-"

"I know, Jessi." He whispered, and I could feel his lips touch the top of my head. "I just couldn't-"

"Stay at the Sanctuary?" I tilted my head back so I could look up at him. "I know, Daryl. I wasn't exactly loving it myself." His thumb was brushing my cheek. "Not there, but not Hilltop either, please." I was begging him, but I didn't care. I couldn't go back there.

He nodded, chewing his cheek. "Carol's takin' over the Sanctuary."

I raised my eyebrow. "What?" For fuck's sake, I leave them alone for two days and all hell breaks loose.

He sighed. "Ezekiel proposed." And? I waited. "She wants some time."

I snorted. "That man adores her." I shook my head, but understood. "Is she gonna be OK there?" Not because she was weak or didn't have the courage, but because of the entire mediating situation that I dealt with daily there. "I mean, I could go back and-"

Daryl's chuckle stopped me. "Jessi, she'll be fine." He shook his head staring down at me. "You'd try to fix the whole world wouldn't ya?" His nose brushed mine and then our lips met. "Never noticed how fuckin' good ya are at it." His breath fanning my lips.

"At what?" I asked, knowing that we were standing far too out in the open for anything to go further than a kiss.

"Fixin' our shit. Solvin' our problems." He pulled away and stood up, arms loose around my back now. "Why didn't I ever see it?"

"You saw me just fine, Daryl Dixon." I answered, letting my head fall against his chest again. Letting myself fall into the calmness of hearing his heart beating against my ear.

The bridge work would take time. So a temporary camp was set up nearby the worksite, and former Saviors were the main workforce. Daryl acted as the foreman, for the most part, or Dad's eyes on the ground. Dad kept up with it as well, going back and forth more than Daryl or I did. I spent most of my time in Alexandria, helping keep things running and doing the same mediation that worked so well at the Sanctuary. People everywhere needed a go between, even someone like me, that they looked at with less than complete trust.

Tara, Eugene, Rosita, Carol, Ezekiel, in other words the normal suspects, spent time at the camp working on the goal of getting the bridge up and ready. While they worked hard at getting the roadway opened, I worked to keep Judith learning her letters and numbers. I kept Carl's grave cleared, sitting with her and talking to him about what he was missing.

And I'd visit Negan, listening to him tell me about the things he didn't do every day. Or I'd visit the camp, taking some much needed alone time with Daryl, or discussing ways to keep the Saviors that were balking at the new world order in line with Carol. I showed her the trustworthy, the ones that were far more willing to tow the line. I also pointed out the problem ones. The ones that were balking even now.

No one mentioned that there'd been graffiti found in the Sanctuary, at least no one from our original group. Laura, the woman who'd told Daryl and I about the walker scarecrow, came to me and told me about it. I sighed and closed my eyes. Asking what had been done, I was told that it was ordered removed, but paint is one thing, internal strife and rebellion were another.

I found Dad, Daryl, and Carol all in the main tent. "Why didn't one of you tell me?" I watched them consider what they might not have told me, and the dawning realization. "You can't stamp it out with a paint over or a washing." I was irritated. We Are Still Negan? And no one thought to tell me?

"Jessi," Dad started, but a single look from me was enough to stop him.

"I asked, you, Daryl." I shook my head at him. "I asked you if there was anything I could do to help Carol, and you just said no." What the hell?

"It wasn't-" He started and another flash of my eyes and he stopped too.

I groaned. "What else?" I looked between the three of them, focusing on Carol. She and I understood one another, at least I thought we did. "What else have I missed?"

"There are six missing Saviors." She answered, staring me straight in the face. "Walk offs." That made no sense, where would they walk off to? I was squinting in confusion. "All we know is they aren't here the next morning. Gone."

"Where would they be trying to go?" I asked, incredulous disbelief coloring my voice. "There's nothing out there, they don't have weapons. Why the fuck would they leave?"

"We don't know, Jessi." Dad answered, shaking his head. "Between the writing on the walls, and this? You gotta wonder-"

I laughed. Really? "Dad, seriously?" I rolled my eyes, Negan, of course. "He's locked away. I'm his only visitor, other than you, I guess." I shook my head. "Unless you're all insinuating that I'M the fucking go-between." No one spoke. "So it's crossed your minds. Fucking fabulous." I huffed out a long breath. "If I wanted Negan out of his cell, do you really think I'd just play gofer with his messages? I think I'm a little better than that."

With that I walked out of the tent and walked toward the building site. I had planned on spending the night, but now? Why would I want to? Why would I stay where my own fucking family was thinking I could be behind this shit? I watched the water rush past the banks, deep in thought, when I felt someone behind me. Quiet as a fucking shadow, and still as one too.

"We didn't think that, Jessi." Daryl's voice barely broke through the sound of the water. "That ya were the-"

I snorted, loud and very irritated. "Daryl Dixon, you try very fucking hard to cover for the people that think the very shit I accuse them of." I turned to face him. "I KNOW what they think of me, Daryl. I have eyes, hell I even have ears." I closed my eyes and looked at the ground. "I have NEVER once done a single thing that would qualify as being a traitor to my family or friends. Never once. The only thing I did that made it seem like it was BEGGING for Negan's life. A man I love, by the way." I saw him flinch at the reminder. "I'd have begged for your life, Daryl, if the tables were turned. I would have begged for Dad's. Or Michonne's. Or Maggie's. Or Carol's. Hell I did beg for Glenn's." I felt the tears building. "I can't stop loving him, and trust me, I know it would be so fucking easy for everyone if I could. And because I can't, I won't stop visiting him. I agreed to not fight any of you when the cost was life imprisonment. Not one fucking word against it." My throat burned. "Next time, Daryl, don't lie. I know you ALL thought it. Even if you didn't entertain it for long."

I didn't leave. So I ended up seeing all hell break loose. A Savior named Justin and Daryl in a fist fight on the bridge that wasn't nearly completed. I'd rushed up when I heard Dad's yelling. And sighed, wondering why I hadn't left sooner. This entire ordeal was a mess. I found Dad afterward, and told him I was going. He tried to hug me, but I shrugged him off. Not now. Not after the day I'd had.

"Michonne's gone to Hilltop." He offered, as though it mattered to me at the moment. I was going home to read to Judith. To listen to her try to get through her alphabet. "Jessi, please, don't leave mad."

"Why would I be mad?" I asked, as I climbed onto my horse. "It's not like my entire family thinks I'm a double agent." And with that parting shot, I left, riding full stop back to Alexandria. Without saying goodbye to Daryl or the others.