A/N: hi all, I decided to spilt the Beth chapters into three or four smaller parts (I'll do the same with the Daryl and Carol chapters as well). I'm going to focus more on thoughts, feelings and small interactions (such as Beth with Noah ) rather than repeating the same storyline as the show (for these chapters anyway). I want to show the emotion and feeling behind these characters. So some things will or may be changed but it will all make sense and circle back around when we get to the mid-season finale chapter. I'm also trying to not rush it one because I want to make these chapters and this story the best I can, and two because we have a couple months before the show is back so I want to time it just right. Hope this is okay with you all!
Chapter Thirty-Eight: Playing the Part
Beth didn't know what to think, this hospital and these people all seemed to have different points of view, different ideas and morals, yet they all backed down, gave up, gave in when Officer Dawn was around. Dr. Edwards had told her that at the end of the day Dawn pulls the strings, its her call. Beth walked along side Edwards as he wheeled a man down the long hallway, a man who could have…should have still be alive, still fighting, but Dawn had stepped in and said something about not wasting supplies that were already low on people who showed no sign of improvement.
"so this is it, we just do what she says, give up….give in"
Dr. Edwards stopped and grabbed the railing of the gurney he was pushing "I told you, if the patient doesn't show any signs of improvement….well….Dawn calls it"
Beth looked away as the man started to push the body bag once more "how many people are here…." Beth asked as she passed by a room watching as a young boy glanced up from his mopping connecting his eyes with hers
"just enough to get us by…"
Beth glanced up and watched as Edwards pushed a door open grabbing the end of the gurney and pulling "some of us started here….some came as patients…" Edwards glanced up gesturing to the door with his head "everyone has a job to do…"
"everyone has a job to do" Those words, Beth stared at the doctor for a moment; both Rick and Riley had spoken those words…her sister….her family….if everyone had a job to do, it was Beth's job to get out of here and back to her family…..back to Riley…..back to her heart
Beth grabbed the door and pulled it back allowing Edwards to straighten out the bed and pull it through the door. Beth walked in behind and her eyes narrowed as she walked towards an open elevator shaft, glancing down she was overtaken by the darkness, it was only a matter of moments before the sound of Walkers below caught her attention. Biting her lip Beth turned to see the doctor staring at her with a look she couldn't decipher
"we can't bury him….."
Edwards walked around and pushed the bed up to the elevator and softly shook his head "we only go out when we need to…" with that Edwards lifted the gurney and the body toppled down with a loud thud as it hit what Beth could only assume were more of the dead...the forgotten
"It may not be the most dignified disposal system, but we work with what we have. We've managed to secure and guard the stairwells, but the windows are blown out on the ground floor. Rotters find their way into the basement when they hear a noise. And if the bodies are warm or warm enough, they clean up some of the mess... use everything you can use. Plus it's the fastest way down."
Beth looked away and down the shaft thinking about how her people would never do something like that
"we bury our own….burn the others"
Riley….Riley….Riley visions of the blue-eyed girl flash behind Beth's eyes….
'Beth sat against the wall watching as Riley sharpened her hunting knife "are you scared" Riley looked up and cocked her head to the side "scared….scared of what" Beth stood and sat beside the girl removing the knife from her hand leaning over and placing it on the desk "scared of…of dying" Riley looked at Beth long and hard before replying "no". Beth lowered her eyes she knew Riley would say that; nothing scared the Dixon's it was kind of annoying; they just rolled with the punches, but growing up in the family they did she could understand why "I'm not scared of dying because of a Walker" Riley stated staring ahead "…it's the people the alive ones that scare me" Riley spoke making Beth's head snap back up "Walkers I can deal with, you know what to expect how to handle things how to adjust, adapt….people…people are too unpredictable" Riley stopped turning; Beth watched her for a moment before grabbing her hand "I'm scared" Beth whispered "not of me dying though..." Beth hesitated she knew that saying the next part would add extra meaning to their relationship and she didn't want Riley to carry that around every time she left the prison walls or Beth's sight "I don't know what I would do if…if…" Beth couldn't even finish the sentence before tears filled her eyes and she looked away from the girl. Beth heard Riley sigh before she reached over and turned Beth's face back to look at her; using her thumb she wiped away a stray tear before gently placing her lips over Beth's "I ain't going anywhere…can't die on you" she mumbled pulling away she whispered "I may not always be here but I'll always find you…I'm not going anywhere Beth…." Beth pulled away and wrapped her arms around Riley leaning her head on her shoulder and kissing the faint pink scar that sit on the girl's neck; she closed her eyes and took in her girlfriends scent 'I wish I could believe that' Beth thought before kissing Riley again "a Dixon always keeps their promises" she heard Riley mummer into her hair, Beth smiled wondering how Riley knew what she was thinking and let a soft sigh leave her lips'
Beth reached a hand up searching for the necklace her fingers only finding the fabric of her shirt
"I'll always find you, a Dixon always keeps their promise…."
Beth opened her eyes and turned looking back at Dr. Edwards the man watched her for a moment before turning and heading back towards the door
"come on…"
Beth walked down the line her tray in hand, she leaned forward and looked into each dish before lifting the spoon and placing some carrots on to the plate. Her eyes drifted up as a male officer walked along the opposite side. Beth lowered her eyes and continued to place food on the tray
"you're looking better…" Beth refused to make eye contact with this man instead she kept her eyes firmly on the food. She had learned from past experiences the things that men in power can do…will do.
"you don't remember me do you…"
Beth narrowed her eyes slightly "I was fighting a Walker and it all went black…" Beth spoke curtly raising her eyes slightly
The officer smiled "yeah one of them rotters was eyeing your thigh, I got there first….names Gorman"
Beth looked away and placed the spoon back into the pot before moving down the line
"you know its common respect when someone does you a favor to show some appreciation….or I can write down everything you've taken"
Beth looked back up confusion written on her face, once again Gorman smiled "everything cost something right…"
Beth looked at Gorman for a long moment thoughts about what Riley would do if she were here popping into her head, she knew though she couldn't act out, had to stay under the radar...play the part, for a little longer if she wanted any chance of getting out.
As Beth walked through the halls she slowed as she heard Dawns voice, peeking into the room she saw Dawn on a stationary bike while the boy from earlier placed a pressed and folded uniform onto the table. The boy looked up connecting eyes with Beth once again. Beth gave a slight nod before continuing on down the hall.
Walking into Dr. Edwards office she placed the tray onto the desk. The man looked up from the paper work and books scattered around him "I use to think I was drowning in research….but now…now the oceans are dry and I'm suffocating in boredom"
Beth sat down in one of the chairs and looked around the office "you're lucky"
Dr. Edwards picked up his fork and looked over at the girl, Beth smirked "if you feel safe enough to be bored you're lucky"
Her eyes than eyes drifted over to the small record player sitting on a dusty and crowded shelf. Closing the book he was flipping through Edwards looked over "That's Junior Kimbrough. Do you like it?
Beth looked over a small smile on her face "I can't remember the last time I heard an actually record"
"it's one of the few perks I get…" Edwards began "for being one of the only doctors here…"
Dr. Edwards smiled and watched as Beth looked down at his food, he picked up a piece of meat and held it out to her "Guinea Pig….ever try it"
Beth shook her head a nervous look taking over her eyes. Edwards smiled and held the fork further out "come on….you didn't take any food…"
Beth slowly grabbed the fork "the more I take the more I owe right"
Edwards looked down for a moment "Dawn doesn't have to know"
Beth took a small bite surprised that it didn't taste all that bad, after all the interesting things Riley and Daryl had brought back over the course of their hunts she had eaten some of the most unusual and often questionable animals. Beth looked up to see Edwards watching she shrugged her shoulders and the man laughed "good enough for Peru…" he mused.
Beth looked around the office her eyes stopping at the large painting that sat beside the desk
"It's a Caravaggio….I found it on the street outside the High, like trash."
Beth smiled "It's beautiful…"
Edwards stood and walked around standing in front of the painting, Beth watched as his face changed the way he spoke changed, his eyes changed " It doesn't have a place anymore. Art isn't about survival. It's about transcendence. Being more than animals. Rising above."
Beth looked at the painting, letting the music from the record player and the muted colors of the art wash over her "we can't do that anymore"
Edwards raised a hand removing his glasses and rubbing his eyes "I don't know."
It was quiet for a moment only the soft lull of the music filling the small room "I sing…I still sing"
Beth watched as Edwards looked at her for a moment before turning and walking from the room leaving her alone with the music, the art and her thoughts.
'Riley watched as Beth swayed back and forth with Judith in her arms trying to get the little girl to settle down for the night. Walking over and into the cell Riley held out her arms; Beth smiled and handed the baby over watching as Riley laid down laying Judith on her chest, gently rubbing small circles on her back. "I wish we had real music, or some instruments….could sing her to sleep; my mom always use to play this piano piece for me and Maggie when we were younger" Riley watched as Beth's eyes went distance for a moment "I miss it…playing….it was something that my mama and me did together….I was pretty good" Beth spoke softly as Judith's eyes slowly closed. Beth laid down next to Riley laying her head on her shoulder. It was quiet for a long time Beth's eyes started to slowly close but before darkness overtook her she heard Riley softly mutter "I'll find ya one"
Beth's eyes left the artwork, she quickly glanced around the room, her eyes filling with tears, with a shaky breath she pushed herself up from the chair, leaving the room, the music, the art... her thoughts
In the next chapter I will just make reference to what happens to Joan (the girl who lost her arm and was under Gorman's watch). I'm thinking about writing just certain sections and Beth's thoughts and feelings before, during and after the events….I'm not too sure how I want to do these chapters so I'm open to advice and suggestions. It's hard to write when Riley isn't involved, but I feel like these are important moments and will only add to the story and the characters, so any help would be lovely! Do you guys like the 'flashbacks/memories' I put in some are from Family Affair some are from Love Affair...
Thank You for all the reviews and follows and favorites it means a lot! You are all wonderful Family Affair rock stars! Really the love you have given this story is unreal!
