I kept RJ late into the evening. Judith had gone off to eavesdrop on Mom and the Council, and I had taken RJ inside to read and relax. I knew Negan could see my house from his cell, it was one reason I'd asked to move into it, but I pushed aside the idea that he would watch the three of us on the porch.

Mom came as I was getting RJ ready to take back home. She looked tense and I knew that something was up, so I sent my little brother into the kitchen to grab a snack and color.

"What's wrong?" I asked, sitting down on the couch and tucking my feet under me. "Did the Council-

"Nothing to do with that," she shook her head and stared at me. "I went to see him." Ah, Negan, that would make her tense alright. "Jessi, I caught Judith listening in as we had our-"

"Showdown?" I offered, seeing her flinch at the reminder of what must have been a doozy of a conversation. "She visits him without me, Mom, you know that."

She swallowed and I realized it might be worse than that. "I know that now," what? How had she NOT noticed Judith doing her homework on the steps of his prison? "She told me I should listen to him, that he's changed, has he?" Her eyes were locked on mine, searching for answers that she seemed to hope I had.

I shook my head, thinking it would never end. The suspicion, the IDEA that I was an authority on all things Negan. "To me?" I asked, smiling sadly. "He promised to never try to leave me again, not after he asked Maggie to kill him." I felt the twist of pain knowing that he had left me, even if he kept his promise and came back. "I don't think I'm the best person to ask this-"

"You are," she was firm. "You see him completely different from the rest of us, Jessi. You know him in a different way. I trust you-"

At that I laughed. "Really? Are we back to that lie?" Her eyes widened. "Michonne, MOM, we both know that there are definitely parts of me that you don't trust. No one does. And THAT'S why you're here." I heard RJ's approach. "You ready to go home, buddy?" I felt his tiny arms wrap around my neck from behind. "You're getting too big," his lips smacked a loud kiss on my cheek. "Take him home, Mom," my eyes met hers again and I could see she wanted to continue our talk. "I'll come over tomorrow, we'll finish this."

I watched RJ and Mom walking back toward their house, the tiny lantern in Negan's cell letting me know he was still awake, as the darkness grew. Shutting my door behind me, I walked across the street, down the steps I could find in the dark and into the room that held his cage.

"Welcome home," I offered as he looked up at me. "How was your trip?"

My visit with Negan was with the bars between us. He understood, as I knew he would, that our nighttime visits wouldn't be as close or pleasant for some time to come. I returned home, took a shower, and tucked myself into bed and wondered what would happen next.

The next morning I kept my word and went to see Michonne. I grinned around the tangle of limbs that was my little brother wrapping himself around my legs, and smiled up at the woman my dad had fallen in love with. "Morning!" I offered, shaking my head at her offer for something to drink. "Come on, spider monkey," I tugged RJ up, so he could hold on to my neck. "Let's go hang out with Mom."

He played while I answered Mom's questions. "Negan's changed. He went out there in the big bad world and realized he's not the big bad wolf anymore," I knew this because we'd talked about it the night before. "But if you want to know if he's still Negan? Yes, he is." I wouldn't lie to her, he was still very much the man I fell in love with, and that man was both confident and a leader. That would never change. "He came back, Mom, not only because the world's shittier for him than before, but because he promised me that we'd be together again."

"He wants me to talk things over, a sounding board," I knew this, he told me. "I don't trust him, Jessi, I don't." I nodded, it made sense, even if I did trust him. "She told me that she visits him because he listens to her, that not everyone does." Judith, of course, my little sister was nothing if not open when asked. "She doesn't see him like I do."

"Neither do I, Mom." She knew this, and it was why she was talking it out with me. I sighed. "Maybe I shouldn't have taken her with me when I visited him."

"Maybe," she didn't sound sure. "She told me that I changed, and that meant he could too." Jude was being a little too honest with Mom, I thought. "We had a fight," I smiled sadly. "I'm going to give the Council the freedom to send a delegation to Kingdom for the fair, they accused me of-" she sighed, and shook her head. "Our people have a right to decide."

"That was the point of the Council, I thought," I offered, wondering if I should go check on Judith. "You know I-"

"Won't say what you're thinking about any of it," she smiled, and I knew the worst of our frustration with one another was past. "I wish you would, Jessi. You're STILL Rick's daughter." I shook my head, of course I was, but I was also Negan's lover. "At least to me, even if you don't share with the others, please?"

"I understand staying more to ourselves," I felt like I had to give her my opinion, if only because she'd asked. "After-" my hands moved to my stomach absently, and I closed my eyes for a moment to steady myself. "We lost things, Mom, we've ALL lost things, people, but Dad wouldn't have wanted us to close off." I could see him, on that bridge, one final look between us. "He died-" she flinched, "disappeared, not knowing that I could have been giving him a granddaughter. He was trying to unite us, that was the point behind that damn bridge, wasn't it?" She nodded, her eyes tight with the memory. "Just because there are monsters wearing human faces, doesn't mean that all humans are monsters."

"Even after your loss?" She asked, and I knew she didn't just mean Wren. She meant Daryl. Dad. Mom. Carl. "You still think that we should be-"

"I think there's a difference between being naive and being careful while being open minded." I considered the group that Judith had saved. "Those people Jude found, the ones you took to Hilltop?" She nodded. "I didn't meet them, but were they as bad as you feared?" She shook her head. "So we could have had," she held up her hand with all five fingers extended, "five more able bodied adults to help our community flourish. Instead, you took the risk to leave with Siddiq, our doctor, to take them to another community that might not have taken them either. And on top of that, what else was risked?"

She listened and I could see her digesting my words. "Magna had prison tattoos," it was quiet, more to herself, as though she was convincing herself about her decision. "What do you propose?"

"Nothing," I smiled. "I offer you nothing in the way of picking and choosing, that's the Council's job, right?" A shrewd look passed over her face and I saw she understood. "All I'm saying, Mom, is that we can't write people off before we know, or before we have a second to see if they're wolves in sheep's clothing."

"I thought I knew Jocelyn," her eyes were on my very flat stomach. "It cost you so much, that belief."

I reached out and took her hand. "Live and learn, Mom." Holding her hand we heard RJ banging blocks over in the corner. "I mean, I haven't lost everything, have I?"