For anyone reading as I post, I have revised the previous chapter since posting it as prompted by Ms Pimprenelle. Your reviews do make a difference and I believe the chapter is much improved as a result. As always, I thank you all for your support!
We are rapidly approaching the end of VMC I. After this chapter there is one more chapter plus an interlude to conclude. Then I will probably soon after post the first chapter of VMC II so you can follow or favorite, and then take a little break to work on other stories before I start posting VMC II in earnest.
Chapter 36: Progress and Proficiency
After much time spent in thought, I determined I should be productive as dinner was still an hour hence. I looked down at the ribbon still grasped in my hand and determined that I must put it away. The end which had caught on the thorn was frayed and it was a little less shiny for having been handled so much, but it was still very smooth, so much softer than my hands. I carefully coiled it up, brought the ribbon to my lips and lightly kissed it before placing it safely in a drawer underneath my handkerchief. It would wait there secure until after I was dressed for dinner.
I alighted to my desk and set about attending to my work: responding to correspondence from my steward, writing to Bingley to thank him for the temporary sublease and then making a list of possible ways to make my wooing of Miss Elizabeth more romantic. I had not yet come to any conclusions on how best to go about it when Jeffrey arrived to help me dress.
After Jeffrey was dismissed and I had transferred the ribbon to my new pocket coat, I made my way to the drawing room. Shortly thereafter our guests arrived. Miss Elizabeth resplendent in her yellow gown with short sleeves and long gloves. I thought, perhaps, she had worn it specifically for me.
I enjoyed escorting Miss Elizabeth to dinner, seating her to my right and making sure her plate was filled with the best my aunt had to offer. I made a sincere effort to make pleasant conversation but was distracted by her nearness. Under the concealment of the tablecloth, I pondered whether I might try to hold her hand.
I glanced down and noticed that Miss Elizabeth left hand, freed from her gloves for dining was perched invitingly close to me at the edge of her lap on the cloth napkin. I knew I should not hold her hand when neither of us were wearing gloves, but the opportunity to feel her skin against mine was a delightful temptation.
Suddenly my throat felt dry, and my palms damp so I lifted my hand to grasp my wine glass and take a sip before returning my right hand to my own lap. A space of only about six inches separated our hands.
Miss Elizabeth seemed to notice where I had glanced. She nodded slightly as her bright eyes met mine, looked down at her own lap and moved her hand closer to me by an inch or two, and then glanced up at me again. She seemed to know my thoughts and to be encouraging me. Of course, I also feared that I had misunderstood what her actions meant. I wiped my palm against my breeches, swallowed thickly and then before I could change my mind, grasped her hand in mine.
It was smooth, slightly cool and dwarfed by mine. I rubbed my thumb lightly over her knuckles and then glanced in her direction to see her reaction. She smiled at me.
I did my best to keep my face neutral as I looked toward Lady Catherine who was speaking. My aunt's words at that moment were as incomprehensible to me as the buzzing of a bee; my whole being was instead focused entirely on my hand holding hers and Miss Elizabeth's presence beside me.
Miss Elizabeth laid her right hand atop where my own right hand was clasping her left one and pressed my large hand between her small ones. I felt a wave of happiness wash over me and wished I could stay in this moment all night long. But the moment had to be brief as we were still eating, and there was still a large portion of food upon my plate.
I released her hand and slipped my hand free. I quickly ate some bites, chewing and swallowing without hardly tasting anything, save for a bite of fish which was not as fresh as what Lady Catherine typically served. I was careful to keep my lips closed.
When I laid my right hand down on my lap once more, this time it was Miss Elizabeth who grasped my hand! In this manner we passed dinner, a few moments with our hands together, several moments apart and then repeat.
I was sorry when the dinner concluded, and we had the separation of the sexes. After using the necessary, it was a tedious time with only me and Mr. Collins. I hoped us simply having a snifter of brandy would be sufficient, but Mr. Collins decided to smoke a cigar. He barely inhaled the smoke, preferring to wave it around as he commented on how generous Lady Catherine was.
The time with Mr. Collins went faster when I asked him how he had enjoyed hosting his guests. Every mention of Miss Elizabeth was dear to me.
When we rejoined the ladies once again, my aunt was calling for cards when my sister intervened. "Lady Catherine," she cried out, "we have prepared a special entertainment."
I was surprised when Georgiana, Miss Elizabeth and Anne arose (Anne taking the longest and requiring the other two's cajoling). I was further surprised when Anne was the one to seat herself at the pianoforte while the others looked on. Anne proceeded to play a simple children's song that only required the use of her right hand, but as she had never played before we were all astonished. Not one wrong note did she play. When the song was over, we were silent and awed, but before we could begin to praise her, she began to play a more difficult song. After the opening notes Miss Elizabeth and Georgiana sang along.
I saw my aunt stand up and move closer to the pianoforte. Her eyes looked wet and wide. As the last notes faded away and Anne arose, she was suddenly enveloped in her mother's embrace. "Oh, my dear Anne, how wonderful you were!"
"It was easy," Anne replied, "I am proficient, proficient." I recalled how my aunt often said that Anne would be a true proficient if only her health had allowed her to learn the pianoforte or any other accomplishment that ladies were expected to know. "Mama, you were right."
Lady Catherine began asking her daughter question after question that Anne did not answer. I could tell Anne was feeling uncomfortable because she stopped looking at her mother.
I thought to intervene and salvage the evening, but Georgiana was quicker than I. She told our aunt, "Madam, Anne had just had her first performance and if you wish to hear another on another occasion, you must let Anne have some quiet to enjoy her success."
"Miss Darcy and I can tell you all about how this occurred," Miss Elizabeth volunteered and soon Lady Catherine was asking them questions instead of Anne, who had retreated to sit beside Mrs. Jenkinson.
I took a moment to watch what Mrs. Jenkinson would do with Anne, even as I longed to look at Miss Elizabeth in her yellow gown. Mrs. Jenkinson covered Anne with her navy boiled wool blanket and let Anne nestle herself in the hollow of Mrs. Jenkinson's neck. Mrs. Jenkinson gently rubbed Anne's face and head, eyebrows to crown then lifting her hand to before doing it again. Anne's face relaxed, but her eyes did not close.
Reassured, I allowed my gaze to alight on Miss Elizabeth, my sister and my aunt. From listening to my sister and my hopefully soon-to-be intended, I learned that Georgiana had asked Anne if she wanted to learn to play, showing her a simple scale. Anne took the bench and proceeded to play part of the melody from a song Georgiana had been practicing, picking out the notes one by one with the same single finger. Miss Elizabeth explained that Anne had a good ear and was willing to use all of her fingers when they suggested it and had shown her how much easier it was to reach the next note, but Anne had no interest in learning how to read notes.
Anne sat up and then contributed, "I hear the music and can play; I just do."
Lady Catherine looked over at Anne and said, "Yes you do, and very well, too." Anne beckoned her mother over and soon enough Lady Catherine was sitting on Anne's other side and gently praising her while Mr. and Mrs. Collins were trying to congratulate my sister and Miss Elizabeth for how much they had taught Anne.
Miss Elizabeth told them, "We do not deserve such approbation" and Georgiana added, "Anne has a natural affinity for the instrument but had never before touched its keys. Our aunt told her not to touch them when she was little and for some reason, she believed that rule still applied." I liked seeing how well they worked together in explaining the matter, but also wished myself to be included in their camaraderie.
After a few minutes Georgiana announced, "Our entertainment is not yet at an end." She proceeded to play a difficult sonata with a pleasing lightness, but I confess I listened more than saw her play because I was occupied with observing Miss Elizabeth, who was two seats to my right.
When Georgiana's piece was concluded, I heard Anne say to my aunt, "Should I learn that one next?" but I did not hear Lady Catherine's reply.
Next, Miss Elizabeth sat down at the instrument and I arose to get a better view. My sister gestured for me to come closer as Miss Elizabeth began to play the opening notes to a song I recognized immediately. "You must sing with us," Georgiana told me.
Normally I would have refused as I know my singing voice is very ordinary, more suited to singing hymns with a whole congregation than being displayed as part of an evening's entertainment. However, I recalled the enjoyment of singing with Miss Elizabeth on a previous evening and welcomed the opportunity to join in with them, to be part of a team, especially when it was obvious to me that my sister had Miss Elizabeth performing the song especially for me.
The three of us sang, "Good morning, Pretty Maid" together. As I sang it, I felt a presence behind me. I felt as if my mother were there with me, approving of me, my sister and the woman I had chosen. I felt a sense of belonging as we all sang together. I desired to walk beside my beloved forevermore, the farmer's son with the pretty maid.
The evening ended all too quickly, but my contentment was such that when I went to bed, I easily fell asleep. During the night I awoke to the clap of thunder and the sound of rain pouring down. I knew what that likely meant but managed to get myself to sleep again. When Wednesday dawned it was almost impossible to tell as dark clouds blocked the sun and the falling rain made a steady roar, banishing all my hope that I might yet see Miss Elizabeth that day. If only the rain had come while they were at dinner with us or during the evening's entertainment and we might yet be under the same roof!
In the morning, I stared out of a window much of the day observing the storm and hoping to see it cease. It did not.
Georgiana provided a welcome distraction from the weather when she told me about two incidents the previous week when she had feared that Anne might damage the pianoforte in order to seek my advice. She had not shared these occurrences with me before because she had wanted to keep the fact of Anne practicing a surprise. She told me, "On the first occasion, Anne banged the keys very hard with a book; it was most fortunate that she did not chip the keys. Another time, she upended the pianoforte bench."
I asked, "Did you know she was about to get upset? Was there a cause for her behavior?"
Georgiana responded, "Once Anne became upset because the piece she was trying to learn was too hard and the other time it was because I tried one too many times to try to get her to learn to read music. I well understand now why our aunt previously told her not to touch the pianoforte."
I advised, "I know that you have been trying to have Anne explain her upset with words, but you should also pay attentions to the signs she makes before she loses control and see if you can get her to take a break and do something else before the situation worsens. I should like to see how you are doing with her during a practice. Do you suppose you could practice at the pianoforte in the drawing room so I may observe?"
Georgiana conceded it was a good idea to have me present, but worried, "Because it is a superior instrument to that in Mrs. Jenkinson's room, it would be even worse if that instrument is damaged. Still, now that there is no longer a surprise to be concealed, I suppose we may try practicing there."
I dearly hoped that this practice there might go well so that if Elizabeth could come on Friday, I might be present for the entire practice. I tried not to think about the fact that this would be her final practice at Rosings and our final tea there.
Georgiana added, "A further problem I fear may be Lady Catherine. I know she loves Anne dearly, but sometimes I think she makes things worse."
I tried to reassure her, "I shall do my best to stop Lady Catherine if that happens."
I did my best to attend to what was occurring during the practice, though the continuing rain and the promised absence of Miss Elizabeth was utmost on my thoughts. Although Lady Catherine was present and praising all Anne did, Anne seemed more pleased than upset by this attention. As my aunt droned on, Mrs. Jenkinson was the only one obviously attending to her words.
The practice was unlike any I had observed before. Georgiana played a portion of a piece while Anne watched and then Anne played that same portion of the piece. Her mimicked performance was not perfect, but very good indeed. It was clear to me that she was memorizing the order of the sounds, more so than how they corresponded with the finger movements she observed, and she knew which notes on the piano would make those sounds.
Anne's main difficulty appeared to be getting her fingers to move in the same way as Georgiana's. She primarily seemed to want to use her thumbs and first two fingers on each hand, rather than all her fingers. Here Georgiana might show her how she dipped her thumb below her other fingers to catch a note, then freeing her hand to stretch farther for the next run of notes extending to the octave above, or gently suggest that she try hitting the last note up the octave with her smallest finger.
After a while Anne became frustrated with her hands, getting up and yelling, "Fingers will not do what they should!"
I saw my aunt rise to intervene, so I raised my hand in the gesture to stop and whispered, "Wait and see what Georgiana does." My aunt remained standing but was silent.
Anne continued to yell and then started to hit the padded piano bench and not, I was pleased to see, the pianoforte. Georgiana waited until her banging lessened and then gently intervened in the way I expected.
"I am so pleased you are not hitting the pianoforte Anne. That is very good. Would you like to take a walk to the gallery to see the paintings?"
After a couple more vigorous bangs Anne straightened herself, still complaining about her fingers, and the two of them walked out of the drawing room.
As soon as they were gone my aunt demanded an explanation from me, "Fitzwilliam, how did she calm Anne so easily?"
"This has been the work of many days," I explained. "Even before Anne's outburst with Miss Elizabeth, Georgiana and I were determined to help Anne learn to control her anger as I have done. Anne does not enjoy raging, but she had no other reaction when she lost control. Georgiana has been seeking to help her figure out how to regain control."
I could tell I had my aunt's full attention as I explained, because her eyes were fixed on me. "One way is to have Anne express why she is angry sooner and direct her rage to something less easily damaged and then when she achieves a modicum of self control to take a break and leave the site of her anger. She was less angry today and expressed her frustration sooner before it could build uncontrollably. I dare say this may not work if she more suddenly becomes upset."
We talked further and I discussed with her and Mrs. Jenkinson how they could do likewise and the importance of them remaining calm as their own emotions could fuel her rage. I explained it was helpful to praise any success Anne achieved in controlling herself rather than expressing how she failed to be like other people.
Mrs. Jenkins nodded thoughtfully as I spoke. I believe she had previously learned the same from Georgiana as she is almost constantly at Anne's side.
My aunt had many more questions for me but when she finally had no more, she thanked me. "Fitzwilliam, you and Georgiana have done so much for Anne in your limited time here. How did you know what to do and who helped you?" Not waiting for me to respond, she continued, "I am entirely satisfied in the arrangements we have made for Anne's future. I have so much hope from the brightness you have brought to Anne's life. I only wonder how we can do likewise when you depart."
I was gratified that she immediately understood the importance of her own and Mrs. Jenkinson's role going forward, and that she was eager to learn rather than control what was to be done. I told her, "While we have been here, Georgiana began writing in a journal about what she has tried with Anne, how Anne has responded and what works well, works somewhat, or is counterproductive."
Lady Catherine immediately requested, "Mrs. Jenkinson, could you transcribe two copies in blank journals so that we may each learn what Georgiana tried?"
When Mrs. Jenkinson noted that she no longer wrote well, Lady Catherine delegated the duty to her secretary, Miles, and told Mrs. Jenkinson, "You and I will have to add our own observations going forward; you may dictate your own to Miles."
When Georgiana returned without Anne, Lady Catherine immediately demanded, "Where is Anne?"
I was proud to see that Georgiana held her head high and simply explained, "Madam, Anne decided to return to her chambers to rest. Her strong emotions tire her out."
Georgiana was most willing to have her journal copied and it was quickly entrusted to Miles. While that was taking place, my aunt, Mrs. Jenkinson, Georgiana and I began talking about how best to help Anne. I was pleased to see that my aunt was listening more than talking and that Georgiana was taking the lead in the discussion, sometimes even sharing her opinions about how she had been helpful to me. Although I was certain this was a good approach, I felt how a bug might feel under a magnifying glass, if it could know that someone was looking down on it and observing it.
Anne had the right of it I decided, as I stifled a yawn and excused myself to return to my own rooms. I thought I might nap, but the walk to my room roused me a bit and there was certainly plenty to occupy my mind.
It occurred to me that our progress with Anne would also help my progress with wooing Miss Elizabeth, easing an obstacle which had disquieted her. I only regretted that I had not sooner taken more of an interest in Anne, but in this matter Lady Catherine was largely to blame. If she had not constantly tried to force our engagement, I would have brought Georgiana more often and had further involvement with Anne myself as her cousin and not unwilling possible fiance.
The rest of the day was uneventful except that Anne participated a bit more in the conversation at dinner as our aunt further discussed her pleasure at Anne's pianoforte performance and how well she had managed her frustration. By the time I went to bed while the rain had not yet ceased it had finally tapered to a gentler patter against the window panes.
