The air in the room went solid when the rapping on the door reached Stefan and Elena's ears. She held her breath, closed her eyes, and prayed for it to stop. He bit his lip and began to approach the door.
"Don't!" she whispered harshly. "Who knows what is on the other side?"
Stefan shrugged his shoulders and turned to her. When he spoke, his voice was neither low nor quiet. "I'm not going to live in fear, Elena."
Funny. She could imagine, only about a year ago, having the same conversation with him. Only, Stefan would have been the one watching after her.
And so, bravely, Stefan approached the door and placed his forehead against the cold wood. He winced and got a good glimpse through the peep hole. When his shoulders fell in relief, Elena let out the breath she'd been holding and smiled. "Coast is clear?"
"Kind of." Straight faced, Stefan reached for the door knob and opened it with a quick, effortless pull. When Elena saw the person on the other end of the threshold, her insides melted into a deep pool of rage.
The coast was not clear!
"Katherine," Elena hissed, the word feeling like broken glass as it tore up her insides on its way out.
"No," Elena spat. "No, no, no. She is not coming with us. No. Just no. How many times can I say no?"
"Not enough, clearly." Like a cat, Katherine stretched out contently on the room's sofa, easily getting herself comfortable. She laid sideways, with one elbow on the armrest while the other arm was resting against the side of her thigh. "Au contraire, miss E-le-na. I am coming with you. It's not your decision to make, last I checked," she advised carelessly, letting out a bored sigh. Elena wanted to rip her made-up little face off. "Also, you don't need to talk about me like I'm not here."
Blue eyes flaring, Damon crossed his arms over his chest. "You know, I think I'm going to have to agree with Elena here." He narrowed his eyes in the older doppelganger's direction. "There's no way you are coming with us."
Katherine rolled her eyes, shaking her head. Her aggravatingly perfect curls bobbed perfectly with every little perfect, graceful movement. Elena was fuming. "Let's take a moment and step back, shall we?" Sitting up a little straighter, Katherine crossed her legs and pointed over to the bed, where Stefan was already out like a light, snoring softly. Arms and legs extended, he took up the entire bed, his hair a floppy mess. "Well isn't that adorable?" she chuckled. "Teenage boys, I'm telling you… they might as well be puppies. You feed them –and I mean, they'll eat anything," she sent a smirk in Elena's direction, casually running the tip of her finger along a vein in the side of her own neck, "and then they just sleep. But when they're awake, boy, are they fun to play with."
Damon shifted uncomfortably. "Your examples are great and all –I'd give you a B on a good day-, but you seem to be lacking a thesis statement." Katherine rolled her eyes, making him smirk.
"The problem with puppies is that they're fragile." She twirled her hair between her fingers, her fond gaze glued on Stefan's sleeping form. Finally, she turned her attention back to Elena and Damon. "I'm not here for road trip bonding, okay?"
Elena's mind was made up. "Stefan isn't just another teenager. He's… so much more than that. That's beside the point. The point is that we don't need you. Damon's strong enough. I practiced hunting with Alaric. I'm sure Stefan would be able to defend himself."
Katherine huffed. "Yeah, because that worked so well last time, right?"
"Hey, in my baby bro's defense," Damon started, "He did get a stake in the guy's stomach."
Once again, Katherine rolled her eyes, and after a long moment of silence, uncrossed her legs. Elena furrowed her brows, puzzled by the unreadable expression on her doppelganger's face. But when she blinked, Katherine was gone out of the couch. Panicked, Elena scanned the room until she located the older Petrova beside the bed, gently running her slender fingers along the strip of exposed skin on Stefan's lower back, where his t-shirt had risen up. Confidently, Katherine gave Elena a challenging glare before speaking. "Boom. He's dead. And neither of you would have even had time to react. It'd be that easy to snap his neck."
Elena gritted her teeth.
I hate her, Elena thought over and over again. I absolutely hate her.
Twelve hours later, and guess who was now in the car with the three of them? Yes. Katherine. And what was even worse? The fact that it was Katherine in the backseat with Stefan, with her hands all over him… and he was letting her do it. Why wasn't he stopping her?
Gosh, the way they were acting… it was plainly uncomfortable. Lewd, almost.
"Damn it, Katherine," he muttered, fishing through his half-empty bag of M & M's. "Why did you take all of the red ones?"
She giggled like a schoolgirl, and Elena was pretty sure that, at this point, it was only to make her so furious. "Because clearly, the red ones are the best," Katherine flirted, watching as he poured a huge handful into his palm, searching for one final red chocolate. When he found one, she quickly snatched it and held it up in front of him.
She didn't even like M & M's. She was a vampire!
Not to mention the fact that they all tasted exactly the same…
Nevertheless, Stefan's eyes went wide. "I will do anything to get that from you."
An amused smirk curled on Katherine's plump lips. "Anything, huh?"
Elena was about ten seconds away from telling Damon to pull over. She was going to be sick.
They finally ended up in a small town on the coast of New Jersey. It didn't exactly look like the ideal place for a vacation, but it was close enough. Katherine had claimed that this was a great place to settle in: small enough to go undetected, but big enough to easily get lost. Katherine knew everything about everything.
They wound up in an old, creaky bed and breakfast at around three in the morning. It was a miracle that anything was open at this hour in such a town. The woman at the counter was old, but friendly enough. Stefan pitied her; did she stay up all night, every night, hoping someone would visit?
"We have two rooms available now," the lady explained warmly. "We should have more tomorrow if you need them. My cleaning ladies come in every other day to brush up the rooms, you see, and we can't exactly get anything at this kind of hou—"
Damon was far from patient. "Yes," he groaned. "Two is fine. It's late, and we'd like to get into our rooms if you don't mind."
The woman went silent and quickly started typing on her ancient computer. Stefan bit his lip. "Excuse my brother," he said after an awkward pause. "He's been driving all night. He gets a little… testy when he gets tired."
The lady chuckled, and just like that, her welcoming demeanor was back. Elena couldn't help herself from smiling just a little bit; he was just so charming. "So, where are you folks from?" the woman asked.
Stefan opened his mouth, but Katherine interrupted before he could get a word out. "California. We're trying to do a road trip all across the country for our college spring break," she lied smoothly.
Stefan was impressed.
After they got their room keys, they spent a good twenty minutes arguing over who would get to room with who.
Katherine wanted to room with Stefan. Much to Elena's chagrin, Stefan liked that idea.
There was no way Damon and Elena were going to room together though.
Damon and Stefan offered sharing if they needed to.
Katherine and Elena would have ended up killing each other.
And so, Damon was forced to share with Katherine, leaving Elena and Stefan together.
The two of them silently entered their room. Stefan –always the gentleman- held the door for her, but said nothing. For the first hour, the room was replete with awkward chit-chat and attempts at small talk. They had to have discussed how great the room was about five times, when in truth, it was extremely run-down and outdated.
When they were both showered and dressed to go to sleep, they looked at the shared bed, unsure of how to handle this. "You can, um… I'll have no problem sleeping in that chair," he offered.
"No, that's ridiculous. It's got to be a hundred years old, Stefan. You'll wake up covered in dust. We can share."
Based off of the look on his face, he didn't seem to like that idea very much, which made Elena's heart clench a little bit. She tried not to show it, though. She simply bit her lip and looked straight ahead when he reluctantly complied. He pulled the sheets down and slowly crawled into the left side.
Her breath caught.
He still took the left side.
After yet another pause, Elena crawled in beside him and sat against the headboard. The light was still on, but he was already curled up with his pillow, trying to make himself fall asleep. She watched him for a few moments. God, did she miss sleeping beside him.
But, now… the bed felt so hollow, so cold.
She knew that he was maybe already asleep, but she spoke anyways. "Stefan?"
"Yeah?" he said, still fully aware. Good.
"I miss Mystic Falls," she said after a short while. Stefan sighed, still not facing her.
"Me too."
"How long do you think we'll be here?"
"I don't know," he breathed out. "Katherine said it could be anywhere from a few weeks to a few months." Ugh, Katherine. Why did he have to mention Katherine? What was so great about Katherine? Nothing! Nothing at all!
And so, after inhaling and exhaling for a while, Elena clenched her fists and asked, "What is your deal with Katherine?"
Now, Stefan turned so that he, too, was sitting against the headboard. Eyebrows knitted, he shot her a baffled look. "What do you mean?" He crossed his arms against his chest.
Elena looked down at her fingers, entwining and re-entwining them over and over again. "Come on, Stefan," she reasoned. "Ever since she arrived here, on this trip, she's been all over you."
"Yes…?"
"And you've let her do it!" Elena explained, exasperated. "I just don't get it. You wanted to room with her. I just can't fathom it. Why Katherine? Of all people?"
Stefan refused to look her in the eye. "I like Katherine," was all that he said in response. His answer did not seem very convincing.
Elena shook her head. "Stefan, you have to realize that she's a terrible person. If you knew about some of the things that she's done…"
He said nothing. When she glanced over at him, there was an overwhelming expression of sadness across his face. At first, Elena thought she had upset him by displaying Katherine in a new light, but then, she recognized another expression. He knew. He knew very well just what Katherine was capable of.
"What's that look for?" she asked, her voice much, much softer now. She almost wanted to reach out and touch him, caress his arm or even the back of his hand, but she thought that maybe he would break if she did. Or maybe she would. They had both been worn so thin at this point, that it was just a matter of time before they both shattered.
Stefan kept his mouth shut, but his expression remained.
"You know that Katherine is a bad person," Elena observed. "That's why you're paying all of this attention to her, isn't it?"
Nothing.
"You're trying to make yourself feel something for her."
Stefan's fingers twitched and he clenched his jaw, a sign that she had struck a chord with him. When Stefan was overwhelmed, he always clenched his jaw. "But why?"
He looked down at his lap, and Elena patiently waited for a response. She knew she'd get one eventually. "Katherine is…," he started slowly, unsure as he tried to put his thoughts into words. "You're right. She's not good. But I'm not good, either."
Elena's heart fell as she recalled his words from last night. "You're not a monster, Stefan…"
He didn't hear her, not really. "You're good, Elena. You deserve someone good."
She both wanted to both hug him and slap him at the same time. How could he think that he didn't deserve her? "I'm far from good, Stefan. You don't even know half of it. I don't know what you remember, Stefan, but the person you were, the things you once did… you've redeemed yourse—"
He finally turned and met her gaze with intense, piercing eye-contact. "I bit you, Elena. You. Of all people. And I loved you. I killed a lot of people, too –I remember every kill-, but I didn't have any emotional attachment to them. I bit you and I laughed. Laughed."
Elena closed her eyes tightly, feeling hot tears beginning to pool. Every kill? How was he even coherent right now? She didn't know if she would have been able to even stand with that sudden rush of memories. Every time he closed his eyes, he must have recalled yet another lost life, recalled the way she screamed when he attacked. And this just wasn't fair. It wasn't fair that he had to suffer again; he didn't deserve it. Stefan didn't get to hate himself again; he didn't get to loathe his existence again. This wasn't supposed to happen.
He took her silence as evidence to his argument. "You're too good for me, Elena."
Now, she opened her spilling, watery eyes and glared at him harshly. "I'm too good for you? Are you kidding me right now?" She ran her hands along her face. "I slept with your brother the day after I broke up with you. The goddamn next day."
Stefan turned to face her, his eyes filling with confusion. "What did I do to you?" That sounded… so unlike her. "Did I hurt you?"
"No!" she shouted, shaking her head violently. "You didn't do a damn thing except love me, and what did I do in return? I threw it away. I didn't even care, too. Not really." The tears were streaming down her face now. There were far too many things rushing through Stefan's mind at this moment. Of course Elena did this to him; after all, he never really had deserved her. Then, he felt sad because she was sad; she didn't need to be sad. Then, the worst of all, he felt… betrayed, angry. Deep in his chest, his heart felt heavy. He felt heavy with the sense that he hadn't been good enough for her, never would be. But all along, he knew that, didn't he?
Elena wasn't done speaking. "I was sired to him. But that's not even an excuse, not really. Because I promised you forever. I told you on that roof that we would have eternity together once I turned… and I didn't follow through. You told me almost every day, that after everything you'd done, all the people you'd killed, you finally found something worth living for. And I took that away from you."
Stefan shook his head, a little numb but feeling everything nevertheless. "It's not your fault that the things you wanted changed."
Elena shook her head. "Katherine was right, you know?" She tried to wipe her tears away with her hand, but it was no use; they just kept streaming. "I let you die. You did it to make me human again, because I hated it, being a vampire. I hated it so much. I'd done nothing but hurt you, but you still saved me.
"And then, I was human, but you were dead, and I wanted you all over again."
She pulled her knees up to her chest. "It's all my fault, Stefan. It's all my fault. You're suffering now because of the things I put you through. Now you have to re-live all of it, and here I am, talking to you, sleeping beside you, when you should already be hundreds of miles away from me. I should have—I should have just—I should have left town when you came back. You don't deserve this again. You wanted out, you did. Damon said you did. And I've dragged you back in and I've ruined everything and I just miss you so much and I know that I shouldn't. I wish I could just let go, and I'm just too weak…" She couldn't even finish. She was now in hysterics as she poured out her heart to the man who had been the source of her guilt for what felt like its own eternity. Her shoulders were shaking and her body was convulsing, and she expected him to get up and leave right then, but he didn't. As she shook and trembled, Stefan wrapped his arms around her shoulders and pulled her head against his chest, where she cried and cried, soaking the cotton fabric of his shirt.
She felt him gently kiss the top of her head, and it made her cry even more. "I stayed with him, Stefan," she barely got out. He said nothing and just held her a little closer, running his fingers through her hair, soothing her with gentle caresses. Elena could have sworn that she felt him crying too, but he did not let it show.
She clutched his shirt for a while longer until she had no more tears to cry. Honestly, she had no idea what time it was anymore. Gradually, the sound of her sobs had faded into complete and total silence. Unlike earlier in the night, this was not at all awkward. She just rested against Stefan's chest with her eyes wide open as he drew lazy circles on her back. Maybe he thought that she was asleep.
"Stefan?" she said, relieved that her voice no longer sounded so awful.
"Yeah?"
"What are you thinking about?"
"You."
She swallowed thickly and continued to stare out. "What about me?"
He let out a long sigh, stopped tracing circles on her back as he thought, and then quickly resumed. "I think," he breathed out, tiredly resting his chin on the top of her head, "that you're flawed."
Elena frowned and nodded. She was well aware of that.
Stefan continued, "I think that I'm flawed."
He was. He really was. But those flaws made him beautiful.
"I think that you made mistakes when you weren't in your right mind. I think I made mistakes when I wasn't in my right mind," he began, his hands never once breaking the contact with her skin. "But we have to accept the fact that that's a terrible excuse. We made those mistakes, whatever they were."
She nodded against his chest, feeling his steady heartbeat beneath his t-shirt. "We're not going to make mistakes again," she said aloud, although it was meant only to be a thought.
"Yes, we will," Stefan said calmly. "We're going to make lots of mistakes."
Elena smiled softly in agreement.
"And maybe I'm making one right now," he said, his caress on her back coming to an abrupt stop. For the hundredth time that night, Elena's heart fell. She didn't know if she could handle losing him again, knowing it was because of her… "Elena," he exhaled.
"Yes, Stefan?"
"This past month, since I woke up, you have lied to me, driven me crazy, confused me, and upset me."
Her mouth formed a straight line. She knew what was coming. The inevitable rejection. Her body was tense. "I know, and I'm sorr—"
He cut her off. "It makes no sense, but for some damned reason, I think that I'm in love with you."
And there it was. The words seemed to flow so easily off of his tongue, so candid and honest. And she wanted to cry out and hold him against her and never let him go, but she didn't want to move. She was too relaxed, and once again, he was tracing circles on her back. "I'm sorry that I made you fall in love with me," she chuckled halfheartedly.
She felt him shrug his shoulders. "Don't be," he whispered. "I don't think you had anything to do with it."
Because, truly, he would have fallen for her even if he'd never met her.
AN: Yay! Progress! Lot's of progress, haha. I know some of you might be upset that Stefan wasn't more upset with Elena, but really, who can blame him? They've both done unforgivable things, but nonetheless have been able to forgive each other. Yes, him loving her shouldn't make sense, but it does, because love never really does make sense, does it? Anyways, I hope you all liked the chapter.
Please leave a review letting me know what you thought! Every comment means the world to me. Y'all know that, haha, I say this at the end of every update, but please just take a few seconds to let me know what you loved, what you hated, and what you want to see, because it really inspires me and helps me write better updates for you all! As long as you want me to keep writing, I will!
What does this mean for Stefan and Elena? And what is going on in Damon and Katherine's room? :P
Stay tuned!
Thanks! Xoxo
Sara :)
