Hi everyone. I was gone longer than I wanted to be. Had some trouble.. but it'll be fine. so here's the chapter, as usual, please tell me what you think.

I don't own digimon, but I own the two new characters.

Again, English is like my... fifth or fourth language, so please excuse grammatical errors.


Losing your mind.

Pain. That's what I'm supposed to feel when I stare at her grave, right? The breathtaking, back breaking pain inside of oneself when you lose the one person you were so sure was your soulmate. The one person you were planning to spend the rest of your life with. The pain that forces you to relive every moment you shared with this person; the laughter, all the dates, all the fights, all the discussions about things you really didn't care about anyway. But you still discussed these topics...because talking to her about these things was better than be without her voice. I'm supposed to feel this pain... so why do I feel so empty? Why do I feel so apathetic? A world without her, wasn't a world I ever wanted to live in.

And now she's gone.

'You're a leader... you mustn't cry.'

The words echo through my head for days now. After losing my grip on the battlefield my tears ran dry and it looks like they'll stay like that, forever. They took everything from me, my friends, my family, my girl and my humanity. I'd lie if I'd say that there's still hope for me to get back to my old self; that isn't going to happen after what they did. From now on, it will only get worse.

I force myself to avert my gaze from the desolate gravestone of her and catch my brother's teary eyes. The boy turned eighteen yesterday. What a fucked up situation to celebrate a birthday, but I insisted that we did celebrate. After all... I'd love him if I was able to feel anything right now. He's my brother... the most precious thing I have and I will never let anything happen to him.


Sora's prov

My back hurts after being bent over half an hour already, but there still are a few bits of broken glass on the floor and I don't really want Kari to get hurt by walking over them. Thank God she didn't come home last night. Images of last night haunt me for two hours already –I actually got up at 5am since I slept on the couch... I definitely wasn't in the mood to sleep next to my boozed, weird behaving boyfriend. I love him more than I can probably put in words but he's behaving weird... and that worries me. Usually he discusses everything what troubles him with me, but this time it's different. He is different.

I continue to clean up the mess Tai did yesterday and throw away the last bits of glass and the cloth I used to clean the bourbon buddle with. I lean against the kitchen island and relax my shoulders, I should wake Tai up soon... After all we have to get to the digital world in about an hour. And I don't want to be late.

I'm just about to enter our bedroom when I hear Tai's voice. He's talking... to whom?

I enter the room and look around, much to my surprise the sheets on my side look like he didn't even touch them... weird. Usually Tai's one of those people who toss and turn around the whole night...

I turn my attention to my boyfriend's voice coming from the bathroom. He's obviously talking to someone...

"Tai?" I call out his name, knocking on the door lightly.

"Yeah?"

"Who are you talking to?" I ask, my confusion growing with each second. Although I know he isn't the type of person who would hide something from me... or even cheat on me or something like that, I can't help but feel kind of uneasy right now.

"Eh... just Matt, he called me, asking me when we have to meet up", he says before adding;" I'll be out in a minute."

I calm down for a second before my inner voice sounds... he lies. No... He doesn't, he never would do that...and anyway, what reason does he have to lie to me? I ask myself, turning away from the door and taking up the task to tidy up the bed, that's when I see Tai's mobile phone resting on the bedside table.


Tai's Prov. a little bit earlier/Meantime

I open my eyes and try to calm down myself. The depressing ivory-colored ceiling stares down on me like a merciless ocean of nothing, laughing at me, threatening me...judging me. My chest rises and falls rapidly. Again... a nightmare. But this one was different. Of course it felt real, but I got used to that already... This time I could recognize the little kid on the other side of the graveyard. I can't shake off the feeling that I know him... I just can't put a finger on it, yet. After taking a few deep breaths I slowly sit up in bed. I'm beyond exhausted... this night was different in many ways. I used to drink a few times when I went out... but never have I ever drank a whole bottle of whiskey. I mean, come on this shit is disgusting. The tedious drunken sleep didn't allow my body –or my soul for that matter – to fully relax and recover from the tiring events I was forced to face these few days. Guess it won't get any better from now on...

My head aches painfully and I feel like some weight is pressing me down on the mattress. I feel like shit.

I play with the thought of just getting back to sleep...but since I can guess that Sora's beyond pissed at me –since she didn't even bother to sleep next to me tonight – I get up, take some black pants and a white shirt out of the closet and cross the room to the bathroom.

I close the bathroom door and after getting dressed first I fix the few strands of my hair that just won't stay in place. It's ridiculous really... I always used to make fun of Matt for standing in front of his mirror for hours because he had to fix his hair, now I'm exactly like him. Sighing in frustration I give up and let the few strands hang loosely in my face. It would end up like this anyway.

I straighten my posture and take a look at my reflection after I splashed icy cold water in my face. The only thing that doesn't really fit, is that instead of my usual deep brown eyes there are icy grey eyes staring back at me.

"What the fuck", I gasp and take a step back, but the reflection doesn't move at all.

"Scared?" A deep raspy voice sounds. The Guy in the mirror leans against something I can't recognize, but it looks like he's leaning on the mirror frame. His hair is of a darker brown shade than mine and his eyes seem to pierce right through me. His right arm looks like it was burned a long time ago since it's covered by a few nasty looking burn marks. He wears black pants and a black shirt that reveals a scar right above his heart.

"Who –"

"Am I?" he ends my unspoken question. I can't convey my shock right now. In all these years of being a digidestined I was faced with a lot of creepy and weird things, but nothing like that. The guy however doesn't seem too impressed, neither of my shocked face nor of the fact that he's obviously stuck in a mirror.

"My name's Alec. And I need your help", he says straightening himself and staring directly at my eyes, holding my gaze. Wow this guy doesn't beat about the bush..

Although every nerve in my body screams at me to just burst out of the bathroom and forget about this weird conversation I'm having right now I force myself to stay still because... I have to admit I'm quite curious.

"I'm listening."

"Of course you are", Alec mumbles, a smile appearing on his face. However he seems like he'd been expecting that answer from me. "You have to find my body."

What the fuck?

"You're a ghost?" I ask although it's quite obvious actually...

"Wow, you're a genius", he jeers, rolling his eyes.

"And probably the only one who could possibly get you out of a mirror huh?" I respond, feeling kind of offended by his reaction.

"You are", he nods, still staring at me.

Feeling the strong urge to help this guy though I don't really feel comfortable talking to him I just nod, signalizing him to keep talking.

"You have to find my body, it's in a crypt in the desert of server", he says the intensity of his glance not abating for a second.

"I know the desert of server. There is nothing but sand and rocks", I respond scanning the area in my mind.

"This is because the crypt is underground. I know two digidestined who know the exact area and know how to open the crypt, but you have to help", he says, his tone changing from commanding to pleading.

"Yeah sure, but –"

"Tai?" Sora's voice sounds from behind the door, interrupting my conversation with my reflection... god that's so weird. Oh fuck...

"Yeah?" I ask, trying not to sound too shaky or something. I surely don't want her to know anything about a weird dead guy talking to me through a mirror.

"Who are you talking to?" She asks, sounding confused... I can tell she's assuming the worst right now, but as much as I'd love to tell her everything, I really don't want to burden her with this.

"Eh... just Matt, he called me, asking me when we have to meet up", I say... fuck I hate lying to her;" I'll be out in a minute."

"If she wouldn't be so beautiful I'd surely come up with some insults you're way too young to hear", Alec's voice sounds once again, causing me to turn away from the door and looking once again straight in two empty icy colored eyes. He smiles lightly, crossing his arms.

"I ignore that."

"Tai you're going to meet my brother today. I want you to tell him that I am here and he needs to get me out of your body", he says, changing the subject again.

"Your brother?" I ask being confused all of the sudden again.

"Yes. Don't believe anything he says... he isn't the good guy he claims to be", Alec responds, seeming deep in thought all of the sudden.

I can't help but feel kind of sad for him... why should his brother be still alive when he's dead already? He still stares at me with that intensity of his grey eyes what makes me quite uncomfortable... there is nothing warm in his gaze, though I can't really tell what else there is. He looks so empty... I can't believe it.

"Why should I trust you?" I ask the only thing that still is on my mind actually. Everything else seems to be vanished. His gaze gets icier within seconds and he looks at me with an expression that expresses he'd like to strangle me or something. But as suddenly as that expression appeared it disappears again and he smiles lightly, his gaze far away.

"Because I didn't kill you yet."

"Wow, that is quite calming", I can't help but be sarcastic... I mean, after dozens of death threats I can't do anything but feel annoyed by this unoriginality.

"I know your daughter", he says, causing my heart to stop for a second. He obviously gets my shocked expression because he adds almost immediately:" I'm alive in the future... but since my body is still buried here in this time I'm starting to vanish. So I needed to come back, to the time I belong to...and I have to see my brother." He averts his gaze and looks thoughtful all of the sudden.

Although he said a few quite confusing things I can't help but think about the daughter he mentioned. Just how far in the future does he live? And who is she? And how does he even know her? The questions flash over and I can literally feel the headache knocking on my door.

"Her brother makes sure that I don't come too close to her, don't worry. But you have to go now", he says, shooting an intense glance in my direction before his eyes turn to the familiar brown orbs of mine, the rest of the reflection going back to normal.

What the fuck was that?


Matt's Prov

Of all the cool buildings I've seen in the digital world already I have to say, this one beats every one of them. After meeting up with everyone but Sora and Tai at Gennai's he send us here: A giant underground base. After hearing about it I expected something like a two room thing with nothing but couches and a few computers maybe, but nothing like this. As soon as we climbed down a ladder we entered that base. Gennai told us something about at least 47 floors, for me however it looks like a lot more.

So we're sitting here in a high tech command center. Next to me are three empty seats; one with the crest of courage, the other one with the crest of love. The third chair however doesn't have any symbol on it, next to that chair sits Gennai with his gaze fixed on the door, waiting for the missing people obviously.

Suddenly the door opens and Tai and Sora stumble inside, looking around in the room. Since Tai isn't really impressed from the room he takes Sora's hand and pulls her to the table without paying too much attention to our surroundings. I can't help but tense up immediately; there's something wrong with him.

He takes the seat next to me, face paler than ever, and mumbles some apology for being late that Gennai just waves off. Sora for her part takes her seat after greeting everyone.

"You look like you saw a ghost", I whisper quietly into Tai's ear.

He chuckles lightly: „You have no idea Matt."

I'm just about to start a conversation in asking him what he means by that when Joey speaks up.

"So, Gennai... can you explain this to us?" he asks, gesturing to the room.

"The reason to that is quite easy Joey, bearer of reliability", a rather familiar voice sounds.

A figure enters the room, dressed in casual black pants and a black shirt. My gaze wanders up to his face and I hear me gasp, as well as Tai, Sora and Mimi.

"Mr. Hawkins?" Mimi asks mouth and eyes wide open.

The rest of the digidestined however stares at our prof with mixed expressions. Most of them look confused; others for their part eye him suspiciously.

"You're a digidestined?" Tai asks his face even paler than before.

"Actually I'm –"

"Phoenix? As in, the phoenix?" Veemon asks his eyes wide with shock. Actually... when I look around the room, everyone's digimon wears the same expression as Veemon.

Mr. Hawkins smiles at that, nodding slowly what causes all our partners to bow down. I for my part can't hide my disgust... Who the hell does this guy think he is that our digimon have to bow down before him?!

"Am I the only one who feels like she missed something?" Yolei asks frowning lightly and staring at our prof...Actually, I'm not sure if he really is a prof anyway.

"Digidestined I have to tell you a lot", Gennai joins the conversation finally, placing his hands on the table and looking around the table so he caught everyone's gaze at least once.

"Phoenix is a really old friend of mine. He's a very good friend of the sovereign too... such a good friend that the sovereign decided to lean on him and give him the power to rule over the digital world since he helped to build it up too", he starts, earning a few gasps from my teammates. I for my part stare at Tai and wait for a reaction of him, but he just continues to stare at the man sitting next to Gennai.

"So he's like... a god or something?" Davis asks, his arms crossed and frowning as well. Should have expected him to not be that impressed...

"You could say that", he says, crossing his legs and smiling lightly at everyone. That smile however doesn't reach his eyes; something I'd say isn't a good thing if it would happen with me or Tai. I have a really bad feeling about this guy.

My gaze wanders over my teammates and gets stuck by my brother who's whispering something into Kari's ear what causes her to frown and slowly shake her head. T.K's obviously feeling that I'm staring at him because he turns his attention to me and shots me glance. I just shake my head and lean back in my chair. The rest of the digidestined however still eyes the stranger –because... what else should I call him anyway? – With a look of suspicious and interest.

"Okay... nice to meet you. But you didn't say why we had to come here", Cody finally joins the conversation.

"Well digidestined I think I should take the lead from here... does someone of you know something about the seven demon lords?" Phoenix asks, looking serious all of the sudden.

Everyone's heads turn to Izzy and Ken who are sitting next to each other. Izzy's already typing something on his mobile phone –he actually started to use that more often than his laptop. Ken for his part seems deep in thought.

"I've heard of them", he says quietly. He probably remembers something.

"Each demon lord symbolizes one of the death sins. They are really strong digimon and the opposite characters of the arch angels of the digital world", Izzy says, staring down at his phone.

"Did you just google that?"

"No Davis... you can't google digimon", Kari answers for Izzy chuckling lightly.

"Yeah... I knew that", Davis responds blushing and averting his gaze from her.

"So these demon lords declared war then?" Tai asks, looking at Phoenix with a rather angry expression.

Of all the things that surprised me today, this is the weirdest. Everyone's gaze turns to our leader who doesn't bother to respond to our questioning looks. He just continues to stare at who feels like our new "boss".

"They did." Is the only thing Phoenix says, holding Tai's gaze. I can't help but remember the first time they saw each other in university. He used to stare at Tai the whole time while lecturing...

"What do you mean 'declared war'?" Sora asks, her voice trembling lightly. Tai who notices the change of behavior of his girlfriend lays his hand on her left thigh, squeezing in an attempt to calm her down. Much to my surprise her posture relaxes immediately.

"Well they build up an army and are attacking a lot of areas in the digital world. Hundreds of digimon had to die already...the situation is calm right now but I'm not sure how long it will last that way", Phoenix says, his gaze finally averting of Tai's and focusing on Sora instead.

"So you really want us to fight against giant armies of digimon?" Mimi asks, from her seat on my left side.

"Not alone", Gennai says before Phoenix has the chance to.

"What does that mean?" Ken asks after taking a glance at a rather nervous looking Yolei. I can't help but feel kind of worried for her well-being. After all she's really similar to Mimi, both hate hurting other digimon, no matter how bad they are. They always see the good in everyone, so I can just imagine what they feel like when they hear we have to fight in an actual war.

"We have armies by ourselves boy. You didn't see them because this base is much bigger than it seems to be. We have thousands of digimon on our side, but although we are much more than them, they have the power of darkness on their side... that makes them much stronger, and much more dangerous", Phoenix says, after glancing at Tai –again.

"But I want you to feel free Digidestined. You don't have to stay and fight if you don't want to", Gennai adds in a gentle voice.

"I'm not sure..." Cody says the one thing that probably everyone in here thinks right now. Almost everyone is staring at their respective partner digimon with a thoughtful expression, me included. I know there's no doubt that Gabumon, as well as every other digimon, won't hesitate and fight for our side. The thing is... I couldn't bear losing him, and I'm sure the others are sharing my opinion.

But when I really think about it there's not much for me to do but stick to what Tai decides for himself. I know I refused to do that when we were first here in the digital world... but as I got closer to him I started to look at him from another angle. I actually started to understand his train of thoughts, his worries and his priorities. And I accept all of them. He's the only one I'd entrust my life.

"What? Cody you can't possibly go home knowing there are digimons getting killed", Davis exclaims, gesticulating wildly.

"Davis, just think about it. Our digimons could get killed too in that fight", Yolei says, holding onto Hawkmon as if she'd had to fear that he disappears right in front of her eyes.

"But we are the digidestined. We have responsibilities!" Davis counters. "Come on T.S say something too!" He adds, turning his attention to T.K.

T.K however turns his stare at Tai after sharing a look with Kari.

"I've known Tai since I was a kid. I decided that my fate rests with him when I was only eight year old. I never regretted my choice in all these years. And I'm sure I won't do it like... ever", my brother says, earning a nod from Kari and from all the older digidestined too.

"We always did that didn't we?" Joey says, chuckling lightly.

"What?" Ken asks, being confused all of the sudden.

"Depending on my decision when they were too lazy to decide for themselves", Tai jokes showing his famous lopsided grin and earning several chuckles from the group.

"So... and what does the leader say in this?" Phoenix asks, his gaze –once again –resting on Tai.

"We fight," is the only thing he says before changing the subject.

"What about you phoenix?"

It's like the temperature in the room fell within seconds to the range negative. Everyone tenses up immediately and Gennai looks at Tai, confusion visible on his face. Although I'm quite sure the younger digidestined don't know what this tone means Tai just used they look like they can imagine what's coming next quite good. I know when Tai is pissed...and I'm able to see almost every emotion in his eyes or in his tone. And I don't really have to look at my best friend to know that he does absolutely not trust this person sitting on the table with us. And he's angry...beyond angry and I can't come up with a logical reason why.

"What do you mean boy?" Phoenix asks quietly, averting his gaze and staring at the hologram map in the middle of the table.

"Are you friend? Or enemy?" Tai asks, leaning forward so he's able to look him into his eyes again.

"You doubt me? Already?" he asks, not being able to hide his amusement.

"You killed your brother, didn't you?" Tai counters, crossing his arms and staring at him with a neutral expression.

Everyone stares at our leader in pure disbelief. What the fuck?

"Tai!" Gennai exclaims, absolutely shocked. His eyes are wide and I can tell just by observing his reaction that he doesn't really believe that Tai said –whatever that means anyway... – out loud. Phoenix for his part looks like he just saw someone getting out of his grave. His eyes are wide and seem kind of empty all of the sudden. His breathing has quickened and he kind of reminds me of a cornered animal. Tai for his part just stares at him, his pissed expression from earlier still visible. I honestly have no idea what could have pissed him off so much. At first sight I'd guessed he's just hungover... but I know "hangover-Tai" and this isn't him... at all.

"Well... I have to say; I didn't expect this meeting to take such a turn", Phoenix says quietly, his gaze avoiding Tai's now:" but if I really think about it... Gennai told me something about you having weird dreams."

This however is new... what dreams? I can tell without even looking around that the rest of the team –much to my surprise even Sora –shots Tai confused looks that he just decides to ignore.

"You mean the bits of memories from 1803?" Tai asks in a daring quiet voice. Phoenix closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before answering.

"Tai listen –"

"Wait a second. Sorry to interrupt, but what are you two talking about? What memories Tai? And whom brother? Am I the only one who doesn't get anything in this conversation?" Yolei exclaims, not being able to hide her annoyance. The silence that follows dares to overwhelm everyone in the room, the air is so thick I could possibly cut it with a knife. No one dares to say anything however... until Tai's voice sounds, barely hearable.

"I have these weird dreams for a few days now... at least, I thought they were dreams until I started to..." he starts, frowning lightly when remembering something obviously confusing. The group however stays silent and observes every movement of our leader. Phoenix for his part lowered his gaze and stares at the ground with a grim expression.

"To what Tai?" Ken asks quietly when he doesn't seem to continue.

"That sounds crazy", Tai sighs and closes his eyes, but this time he continues:" see things."

"What kind of things?" His sister asks a frown appearing on her usual calm, neutral face.

"Memories", Gennai answers for him:" Tai sees a few long forgotten memories, but I can assure you Tai it means nothing", he continues, looking straight at Tai when adding the last part.

"What do you mean by nothing?" Our leader shots back, looking annoyed all of the sudden what causes Sora to take his hand in hers.

"Tai you're a digidestined... it is absolutely normal that some time something will happen that doesn't make any sense to you, but that doesn't mean that there's some ghost inside of you showing you memories or anything", Phoenix says, reaching over and placing a hand on Tai's arm. Much to my and everyone's surprise Tai doesn't move at all, looking straight at this weird, -kinda creepy –new guy we've got to meet a few minutes ago. Then, as if lighting just hit our leader, he pulls his arm away and stares at Phoenix with wide eyes. I can't do anything but keep my mouth shut and watch my best friend standing up from his seat, mumbling something like 'I need to get out of here' and storming out.

It doesn't take too much time for us digidestined to register what just happened. T.K immediately stands up, in an attempt to follow Tai. "I should –"

"No, let him. For now", Phoenix interrupts him, looking at the door Tai exited just a few seconds ago. His gaze shows no emotion at all, he looks rather... empty, as if there's nothing worth thinking about for him. I have trouble remembering the last time I saw this gaze but after a while I can recognize the same merciless gaze I saw on Myotismon's face a few months ago. As soon as this realization hits me I feel the icy cold shiver making its way down my spine.

T.K sits down again, looking at our teammates, obviously looking for some answers, or anything like that. I for myself would go after Tai too, but much to my displeasure I have to admit that Phoenix is right in this case; we should let him be for now.

After hearing about my best friend's weird... dreams, I can't do anything but let the nagging feeling of guilt overwhelm me. He tried to tell me about it last night... he obviously didn't know how to escape these visions so he got himself drunk. And there I was yesterday, judging my best friend and calling him a schizo for trying to tell me what was really bothering him. God I'm an ass...

After taking a look at Sora's expression I can tell she's thinking similar thoughts as I am.

"Alright digidestined. I'll show you your rooms then", Gennai changes the subject, signalizing everyone with this one sentence that they –obviously – made sure that we'd have our own rooms in this giant base.

"So that means we're not going to go home from now on?" Cody asks, seeming quite uncomfortable with the direction this meeting took. I for myself can relate to that, I expected a lot of things coming out of this meeting, but not that I would have to stay here immediately. Much to my relief Gennai smiles, shaking his head lightly.

"No, but I'd like you all to stay tonight since we're still finishing the digital gate in this base. I don't want you to go out without anyone keeping you safe, for obvious reasons", he says before making a gesture for us to follow him.


Tai's prov.

Images of a little boy holding onto his big, grey-eyed brother appear in front of my mind's eye. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, walking through the long corridor. I have no fuckin idea where I am. But that doesn't matter... my headache is killing me. I stop somewhere in between two massive steel doors and lean against the cold wall. My head is pounding painfully, causing my vision to blur. I remember Joey's tips he gave me once when I was feeling dizzy on a daily basis –right after when I got out of Myotismon's base a few months ago. He told me to focus on a certain point and take a deep breaths, that's what I'm doing right now. Much to my own surprise –as well as my relief –the dizziness fades away. The wall in front of me however is quickly replaced by a new image...

Vision

"This has to end Alec", my brother tells me, tears forming in his light blue shaded eyes. God, this is so pathetic... I don't even bother to hide my annoyance with him. After everything I taught him he's still tearing up that quickly. If he continues to stay so weak I should end his life before anyone else gets the chance to.

He however, obviously believes that he could possibly kill me. Of all the people who tried to kill me now, this one here is the most ridiculous one. As if he'd ever could do something like that. I can't help but chuckle lightly, looking at my little brother without any emotion. I have no emotion left...

"Okay, so what do you want to do now Phoenix?" I ask quietly, taking a few steps forward looking him straight in the eyes. His right hand is trembling like a leaf; he's barely able to hold the dagger in his hand. For a guy who just received immortality at the age of 21 you'd probably think he looks more confident. He looks up to me, letting his tears fall already. Oh god this is so sad... I could throw up right now.

"I have to kill you, you can't keep doing things like this", he says in a pleading voice. God he sounds like a girl...

"Things? Don't be afraid to say it out loud little brother", I whisper, taking one more step forward so I'm almost touching him: „You mean... murder innocents?"

I can't help but laugh at his expression. His eyes are wide and he looks at me with a shocked expression. I can tell he's not really sure how to react right now.

"This isn't you, is it?" he says, taking a step back and looking at me through his tear-stained eyes. I can't help but remember the time I'd pick him up and dry his tears whenever he got hurt and cried for hours. No one really managed to cope with him and his cries... no one but me. I loved him so much, and they took it from me...

"You don't have to do this Phoenix", I whisper quietly, my gaze fixing itself on the dagger in his hand. I slowly reach for the item in his right hand but he backs away, fear obvious in his eyes.

"You're not my brother anymore", he says, his fear being replaced by something new... something I honestly don't really see very often in my brother's face; anger. No, Rage.

I can't help but feel quite impressed... although I don't really feel anything lately I'm still able to recognize the emotions I should feel. Seeing him in this state the possibility of him killing me doesn't appear to me as unlikely as before. Looks like I have to find a way to get out of this situation...

"Phoenix... little brother", I start, trying my hardest to force the darkness out of my mind and control myself for a little while...:"You don't have to do this, I can do better. I will do better Phoenix I promise", I whisper, placing both of my hands on his neck, forcing him to look at me. He's got the same icy grey eyes as me... the one thing that will always bond us together.

The rage in his expression fades away as suddenly as it appeared, leaving nothing but sadness in his gaze.

Perfect, I've got him where I want.

One more step and I solved this. I take a deep breath and carefully wrap my arms around his broad frame. I can tell by his posture that he tenses up immediately and isn't sure how to react to my sudden move of affection. After all... I didn't even touch him for months. Since the power of darkness claimed me as his...

I'm just beginning to relax and get used to the touch of my brother in my arms when a piercing pain in my chest causes me to fall backwards. I look down at the dagger sticking out of my chest and up to my brother who stares down at me. Much to my surprise he doesn't look sad anymore... no, the look of sadness and the warmth I'm so used to see in his eyes is gone and replaced by... nothing. Absolutely nothing.

End of vision

My heart races, my vision blurs again and I can't manage to calm down myself. All of the sudden I feel like there's not enough air here. My headache got a lot worse and I'm sure I'm on the verge of losing consciousness. God... what is wrong with me. What's happening?

I slowly slide down against the wall, sitting on the ground and bend my knees, placing my forehead against them. My heartbeat calms down lightly... leaving me alone in this illuminated corridor. The headache however stays with me... torturing me, driving me crazy, and remembering me of the awful things I just saw...

"You okay boy?" A voice sounds through the silence, causing me to slowly look up and be met with the light blue eyes I was just faced a few minutes ago in my vision. Phoenix looks at me with concern all over his face. I slowly shake my head in response... no, I'm absolutely not okay. I feel his hand brushing my head slowly before he places it on my left knee, kneeling down to my level as well. Although this is way too much affection I'd usually need... especially from a stranger, the touch calms me down immediately.

"Do you want me to take you to the hospital sector?" he asks, his eyes never leaving mine. I try my hardest to see something...to read some emotion from his eyes; usually I'm really good at that. But there's absolutely nothing mirroring in his icy eyes. It's like someone sucked everything out of him and left an empty shell back.

'He's just a shadow of his old self... trying to cope in life without someone to hold him in pieces'

A voice sounds in the back of my head. I surely have some conclusions where this voice came from... but I'm definitely not going there right now. I silently tell the voice to shut up and try to focus on the person in front of me. Although I felt a rather great anger when I first saw him –probably because of the visions I've got about him... I mean, they're not really showing his nice side –I can't help but feel a certain security growing inside of me. I give him a light grin and shake my head.

"I'm fine, really." God... I even sound as shit as I felt a moment before. Phoenix however doesn't look convinced because he sits on the other side of the corridor and faces me. The robe he took off the robe he was wearing in the commando center earlier. He's dressed in casual black pants with a matching black shirt. He looks like his brother did earlier when I "met" him.

"You still think that a spirit of a dead guy is living in your body?" he starts the conversation he was obviously delaying.

"I'm not sure what is going on with me. Gennai's statement sounds like the most logical one", I reply, once again, looking for anything in his eyes that would tell me whether or not he's trustable. His expression changes and I'm finally able to see some emotion mirroring in his face. If it wouldn't be so dark in here I'd probably say he's tearing up, but I can't really recognize anything since the lights are dimmed.

"So you're convinced that he's in there somewhere?" Phoenix asks, pointing straight at my chest. I literally feel the air leaving my lungs and I feel my breathing getting heavier again.

"Yes."

His icy blue eyes narrow and he smiles lightly. This smile however doesn't reach his eyes. His smiles never really do reach his eyes when I really think about it.

"Do you remember our conversation at the university? You said that conviction depends on the person who tells you something", he starts, causing me to frown... where is he going with that? "Gennai told you that my brother's spirit is inside of you, you trust Gennai. So you're convinced that it is like that. Right?"

Although I feel the massive urge to say no, just to prove him wrong, I nod.

"So, I don't want to offend Gennai. He's one of my oldest friends Tai, but don't you believe that I'm way more experienced that he is? And that I'm definitely the only right person who knows exactly what is going on with my brother's spirit?" He smiles, this time he actually looks warmer than all the other times before.

I do have to admit... he has a point. Although Matt was the one who said this about conviction depends on the person you trust, I was agreeing with him at that time since I was discussing with them myself, so I don't have an exit out of this more than uncomfortable conversation.

"So what do you think is wrong with me then?" If he's so convinced that there's nothing about Alec going on with me he sure knows what else causes me to see these disturbing scenes.

"You're a digidestined. The leader of them. I'd say it's pretty usual that you'd see special things in your dreams", he says as if I didn't have the worst nightmares of my life in the past few nights.

"Tai I won't let anyone harm you, you have to believe me when I tell you this", he says, keeping eye contact with me. And as if someone just lifted a ton of rocks off my chest the familiar sensation of trust starts to grow inside of me. I can't help but believe him when he stares at me like that. While losing any sense of time I just continue to stare at his bright eyes slowly realizing that these weird dreams were nothing more than... dreams. They'll go away. I'm sure.

"I miss him you know", he starts quietly, averting his gaze and staring at his hands in his lab. I don't have to ask who he's talking about.

"I think about him, every day. But he's dead. He found piece and there's no way that he'd –"he stops right in the middle of his little speech, looking at me with a shocked expression. He looks like he already told me too much. But it's too late now for him to back away.

"What did you say?"

"Nothing", he tries to wave the topic off, but he caught my interest.

"You said there's no way he'd... what?" I ask, getting up carefully since I'm not really in the mood to get all dizzy again. Phoenix follows my example and stands up by himself, standing right in front of me. I can't help but feel the icy cold shiver making its way down my spine. This scene resembles the one from earlier too much.

"Tai there are some things that not even the leader of the digidestined should know about", he says quietly, placing his hand on my shoulder:" you shouldn't rack your brain about things that aren't worth your thoughts."

"Your room is on floor 18 along with the others. Your crest is on the door, so you won't have any difficulties finding It." and with that, he turns around and walks down the corridor on the other side I came from earlier.

Since I don't have any idea what time it is I slowly make my way back to the elevators and press the button with the 18 on it. After all, I really did abandon my partner digimon tonight, and I'm going to make it up immediately. The elevator is made of steel and the door in front of me is glassed, so anyone who's in here is able to see all the floors on the other side of this giant cylindrical base. The floors are on the sides of the cylinder, leading deeper into the underground. In the middle however is nothing, so it doesn't matter if you'll stand on the 36th floor, you'll still be able to look up and everyone else on different floors. I have to say, I'm quite impressed.

The elevator stops and I step out of it, looking around my surroundings. There are several figures I can't really put a name on. They're dressed in complete white uniforms. I wouldn't really think too much of it if there wouldn't be the fact that their faces are half covered by some sort of scarf or something. One of them turns, shots me a glance and nods, gesturing for me to follow the corridor to the other side. Since I don't feel quite comfortable looking at this guy I turn away from him and the center of this base and walk through the long hallway. The light here is much brighter than the one in the lower floor I was before. The walls are in a comforting blue shade and the light is shining in a bright white light.

"Tai?" I hear someone call my name and turn around immediately, just to be met with my little partner digimon. My grin appears naturally on my face and my mood immediately lifts.

"Agumon, I actually was on my way to you", I continue to grin and kneel down to his level.

"We were worried about you. But you seem to feel better now, do you?" my friend asks me, reaching out to cup my face in his claws. I don't really bother to answer that since... I don't really know how I'm feeling right now, so I just nod and let him stare at me a little while longer.

"Are you hungry?" he asks me all of the sudden. Normal me would probably accept the offer but I wasn't my old self for a few days now so... I'm not really surprised by the fact that I'm not hungry, at all.

"No I –"I start but get interrupted immediately.

"When was the last time you ate?" a new voice echoes through the hallway. I turn away from my digimon and come face to face with Davis who's approaching me, dressed in a few baggy pants and a shirt.

"You know what, I'll get you something", he says, not even bothering to wait for my response, or my protest in this case.

"Alright", I mumble since I know how stubborn he is. There's really no point in arguing with him right now. He grins brightly at me before turning to Agumon. "Feel like accompanying me?"

"And get extra food? You bet!" Agumon exclaims.

"We'll be right back Tai", Davis says, his gaze now turning back in my direction.

"Okay, I'll be in..." I turn around and take a quick look on the doors until I spot a door with the symbol of the crest of love, as well as the crest of courage on it:" my room", I say and point to the door. Davis gaze flickers for a second to the door and then back to me.

"She's not in there if you don't feel like facing anyone right now", he says in an unusual serious voice. I can't believe that he actually saw right through me. Although I love nothing more than to cuddle with my girlfriend and actually not being alone... I feel the sudden need to just have some alone time and come to terms with myself again. I was out of it for far too long and seeing that we're in a rather dangerous situation right now it's badly needed that I've got a clear mind.

I thank Davis quickly and turn around –

"Tai?" Augmon's voice causes me to look back immediately, he eyes me with concerned eyes:" you'll call when something's wrong okay?"

I can't help but smile lightly. Reassuring him that I'm really fine and surely will manage to be alone for some time until they return with food I approach my door and enter the room. I don't know what I expected it to look like, but I surely didn't expect something as nice as this. The room is large, but of course windowless. The furniture however comes up for the lack of sunshine. The walls are in warm burgundy colors as well as the carpet on the floor. The bed is gigantic and made of dark wood. There are two covers, as well as two pillows resting on it, making it clear for me that I'll be sharing this room with Sora. It was obvious really... I mean, the symbols on the door are a clear message. But I like the thought, a lot. I was honestly starting to worry about that anyway... I got so used to sleep next to her and feel her on my chest that I doubt I could sleep without her, unless I'm drunk. But then I'm comatose so that doesn't count.

Right next to the bed on each side is a small bedside table with a lamp on it. There's a giant map covering the right wall next to me. I don't have to take a long look at it to know that it shows the several continents of the digital world. On my left side however is a door. Since my curiosity gets the best of me I approach the door and open it lightly, what causes the lights in the room to go on. Much to my surprise it's a bathroom. The tiles are completely grey and there are tiny lamps covering the ceiling, looking like small starts actually, but much to my surprise they're giving away more light that one would expect. There's a shower in a corner and sink on my left. I turn around and look up, just to be met with the cold grey eyes I already saw this morning. Fuck, I didn't even notice the mirror here.

"Missed me?" his voice is low. Dangerously low. No... I'm imagining things again, he's not real. I'm dreaming again. I close my eyes and turn around, though I can already hear him chuckle.

"So let me guess. My brother tried to convince you that I'm not real and that you're just imagining things huh?"

I immediately turn around and face the guy in the mirror again. He didn't change in appearance... though I could swear that he looks a lot unhealthier now than earlier this day. He's holding something that looks like a broken piece of glass.

"How do you know that?" I ask, not believing what I just heard. He however just smiles sadly, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.

"He likes to believe that I'll be gone forever. He isn't the nice little guy he makes you think he is Tai", he says, opening his eyes again and revealing, once again, emotionless ice colored eyes. He stares silently at me.

"I'm really sorry but I have to show him that I'm here", he says his gaze glued on me. I really do have some trouble right now to get what he's talking about, but seeing him lift his right arm with the broken piece in his hand causes me to back off from the mirror immediately.

"Don't worry, I'll try not to hit too important organs." And with that he hauls off and stings the sherd right into his belly, causing him to bend down in pain immediately. Just a second later I feel the breathtaking pain hitting me right in my middle area. I kneel down on the floor and hold onto my stomach, not daring to look down since I feel my blood on my hand already. What the fuck is happening now?!

I don't really have to wonder about that too long however, because I feel like I black out already.


So, I hope you liked this chapter. I had some trouble writing it but I hope it isn't that obvious. anyway please leave a review and tell me what you think. I'm trying a few really new things out with this fic so I'm really unsure how I manage to do it. Added to that I'm debating whether I should include a lemon in this story or not, the question is; would you like one? So please, tell me.