A/N: so after I went back and re-read what I wrote I was so disappointed in myself. The chapter didn't seem up to par and I knew and wanted to do better not only for myself but for you all! This is my version of what was happening during "What's Happen and What's Going On". I'm not sure how many days Rick was gone while going to Noah's community it could have been one or two so this is my break down of what the group that stayed behind did and went through. I wanted Riley to act and be more cold and distant then she was in my first attempt. I want her to have some anger, rage, hate and guilt. I hope you like this one it's a little shorter then the others but that's because there was no episode to draw from and it's about quality not quantity…..
Chapter Forty-Four: Adjusted to the Darkness
"RILEY"
Riley Dixon jerked up and ran pushing open the back door and coming to a skidding halt in front of the large white sofa that sat in the living room of the small farmhouse
"what's wrong…" Riley rushed out dropping to her knees in front of Beth her eyes filled with worry
Beth smiled at her wife grabbing her hand which was stained a little red from skinning a deer she had hunted this morning
"feel" Beth whispered
Riley's eyes widened and a smile stretched across her face making the one on Beth's grow in turn
"the baby…it kicked…"
Beth nodded her head and leaned over as best she could placing a kiss to Riley's forehead; Riley raised her eyes away from the baby bump her eyes shining "you're gonna be a wonderful mother babe"
Beth smiled using Riley as support to push herself to her feet "you will too" Beth saw the doubt float behind Riley's blue orbs "and stop doubting that…our baby is going to love you…you'll be the cool one…" Beth spoke with a small chuckle as she walked away disappearing into the bathroom the door softly clicking behind her
Riley smirked before looking down at her hands and walking over to the kitchen sink
"I was thinking that we should start narrowing down the names"
Riley spoke out loud, shutting the water off and grabbing the dish cloth to dry her hands before turning around "we can make a list boy and girl names then chose one we both …."
Riley lost her voice as Beth emerged from the hallway a pool of blood at her feet and a steady stream of thick crimson flowing from her head
"Beth" Riley whispered taking a shaky step forward
Beth's eyes were vacant, hallow, lifeless
"baby…"
Beth's eyes jerked over to Riley, Riley watched as Beth fell to her knees the Dixon catching her before she hit the ground "I get it now" Beth mumbled as her eyes started to close
"I get it now"
Riley's eyes shot open only to come face to face with the brown orbs of Tara "hey you okay" the girl whispered "you were having a nightmare I think…you were mumbling and stuff"
Riley pushed herself up pinching the bridge of her nose "I'm fine" she hissed out getting to her feet and swinging her crossbow over her shoulder
Tara ran after the girl as she made her way into the woods "whoa where you going it's the middle of the night"
Riley locked eyes with the girl before looking over to where Carl slept with Judith tucked away under his arm
"I'll be back" was all she mumbled before disappearing into the thickness of black that surrounding them
Riley sat leaning against a tree her crossbow resting on the ground beside her, her fingers flipping the small photography in her hands her eyes focused on the small broken down car in front of her. Raising her eyes to the moon she thought about if Beth were up there looking down at her, if Beth hated her for not being there, not being there to save her. Her eyes closed for a moment images of young blonde girl flashing behind her lids, her sweet smile, her bright blue eyes, her relaxing voice, shaking her head to rid herself of the memories she gazed down to the picture clenching her jaw before pushing herself to her feet and shoving the worn photo back into her pocket. Looking over to the car she narrowed her eyes before slowly making her way forward
Maggie woke to the sound of rushed words and quick movement raising her head off the folded blanket she looked towards the edge of the forest where Tara stood Daryl pacing back and forth in front of her
"what do you mean she took off…..why didn't you get somebody"
Tara looked from Daryl to the gravel under her feet before looking in the direction of Maggie; Maggie locked eyes with the girl and slowly got to her feet making her way over
"what's going on"
Daryl looked at Maggie from the corner of his eye, his pacing slowing down slightly as the Greene girl approached
"Riley took off in the middle of the night and Tara watched her go"
Maggie's eyes jerked towards the woman and Tara's eyes widened in fear
"she said she be back…" she quickly looked over to Carl and Judith who were still sleeping; Daryl and Maggie followed her gaze "she said she be back"
Riley stood in the middle of the field the green grass blowing in the warm breeze that blew through every few minutes, her hand gripped her knife tightly her knuckles shining white even under the gaze of the sun, her blue eyes scanned the forest floor the bodies of Walkers scattered around her; blood splattered the trees that enclosed the small area, and the only sound heard was the rough and ragged breathing of the lone girl that stood surrounded by her rage and sadness
Raising her eyes Riley looked around the small clearing before taking a shaky breath as she bent to pick up her discarded crossbow the low sound of a snarl was heard in the distance, closing her eyes and willing the voices to stop Riley stood watching as a single Walker emerged from the thicket of trees
Daryl couldn't just sit idly and wait for his sister to return, he couldn't just leave her out there when he knew she was struggling, so the man, the hunter, the brother did what he does best….tracked
Maggie walked quietly behind Daryl watching as the man would stop and bend down touching parts of the soil with his fingertips before raising and taking off in another direction. Her heart broke for Riley Dixon; while Beth was her sister and it pained her greatly to see her lifeless body being carried out of that hospital she knew that Riley's pain, Riley's sorrow, Riley's loss was greater, Maggie had lost a sister, Riley had lost her heart, her soul, her reason for pushing forward….for living
Maggie watched as Daryl stopped bending and pushing away a few leaves before lowering his head and rubbing his eyes, Maggie watched as the pain that everyone was feeling for a variety of reasons surged through Daryl, and she once again saw how the loss of Beth affected yet another Dixon; while each was affected in a different way both reacted the same, no tears, no words, shut off and shut out.
"you tried and that's what matters"
Daryl raised his head and Maggie watched as the man took a deep breath
"I failed her, I failed them" Daryl spoke looking over at Maggie before pushing himself to his feet and walking through the brush
Riley watched as the Walker steadily got closer, from the moment the Walker cleared the few trees that were staggered throughout the land Riley no longer heard the snarls, heard the wind, heard the voices, she only heard her heart, only felt the blood flowing through her body. The Walker was small, the Walker had once been a girl, the Walker once had shiny blonde hair, the Walker once had bright blue eyes, the Walker once had a winning smile, the Walker had once been Beth
Daryl entered the small clearing Maggie right behind him, he slowed his pace and watched as a Walker approached his sister who simply stood silently her crossbow held limply in her hand. Maggie looked beyond Daryl's shoulder her eyes widening as the Walker slowly got closer and closer to the girl who seemed lost in a trance, lost in a dream, lost in what once was and what could have been
Daryl bit his lip watching and hoping that Riley would react to the threat that was quickly approaching her, there was a pause a slow breath before he did what he had to, what he needed to
Riley locked eyes with the Walker her eyes filling with tears, her heart breaking, her life, her reason, her purpose all getting ripped from her once again
Swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat, Riley softly spoke "I'm sorry baby"
In a instant the world rushed back into focus, the air was pushed back into Riley's lungs and the voices returned louder and more intense then ever; her breathing became labored and quick as she watched the Walker stumble to the forest floor, her dirty, thinning, disheveled blonde hair cascading around her, her once vibrated blue eyes closing and closing forever
Riley stood motionless staring blankly at the Walker, her brothers voice ringing in her ears; spinning around Riley locked eyes with Daryl
Daryl took a shaky breath raising his crossbow and aiming he lowered the bow and watched as the arrow went through the Walkers eye sending her to the ground. He stood unmoving watching as Riley stared unblinking at the Walker at her feet before turning her haunted eyes onto him
Daryl watched as Riley gripped her bow, watched as she raised it, watched as she moved forward at a quick and unnatural pace
"what you do that for"
Daryl's eyes widened as Riley aimed the crossbow at his chest, watched as he eyes were dead yet full of anger, and rage, and sadness
"Riles" Daryl softly spoke
Riley pushed the bow into Daryl's chest gesturing with her head behind her "why'd you go and kill her…you killed her….you killed her" she spoke through clenched teeth
Maggie's heart broke and her eyes filled with tears "Riley" she spoke quietly placing a hand on the bow and slowly and gently pushing it away from Daryl's body
Riley's eyes went over to Maggie and for a second they softened, before it was replaced with a hollow and empty stare; Riley's eyes went back to Daryl before she simply pushed herself between the two and disappeared into the woods
Daryl stood froze to the spot, he's eyes went to the Walker as his hand went to the spot where Riley's bow had pushed into his chest
"Daryl" Maggie tried placing a hand on the hunters forearm
Daryl looked to the woman before gazing back at the fallen Walker
"at least she's talking" he mumbled before turning and following the same path Riley had only moments before
Maggie walked a few paces in front of Daryl as they returned to camp, she watched as Carl stood with Judith the small child whining softly in her brothers arms; turning she watched as Daryl stopped at the car and spoke quietly with Carol who had been in radio contact with Rick all morning
"what's the matter sweetheart" Maggie spoke gently to Judith placing a hand on her head
Carl looked up his eyes sad, and tried "she's hungry I think…and…and"
Carl looked down at Judith before locking eyes with Tara, and Sasha who stood beside him both trying to sooth the infant
"…and she wants Riley, but Riley….Riley won't take her anymore…"
Maggie looked around the small camp for the Dixon
"she went to look for food" Carl answered Maggie's unspoken question
Maggie was just about to reply to Carl when a twig snapped caused all eyes to snapped over to the edge of the woods where Riley appeared holding a few blueberries
"won't be much" Riley spoke not looking down at Judith "but it might help for now" she spoke handing the berries over to Carl before moving away
Maggie looked at Carl and then at the retreating back of Riley "Riles….why don't you hold Judith for a bit"
Riley stopped as she neared the car before turning and hopping up onto the hood "Tara or Sasha can help if Carl needs a break" she spoke pulling her crossbow from her back her hands running over the metal flashes of what happened in the clearing, flashes of Beth, flashes of before danced in her mind causing her to look away
Maggie looked at Daryl before her eyes went back to Carl who lowered his eyes back to Judith
"she'll come around" Tara quietly spoke reaching for the baby; Maggie looked up in time to see Riley watch the older woman scoop the baby out of Carl's arms a unreadable look on her face
Riley watched as Tara took Judith from Carl a rush of emotions filling her body; the voices getting louder, the visions coming and going. Placing a hand into her pocket her fingers ran over the cool silver of the crossbow pendant and small ring, gripping the necklace in her hand the voices got dimmer and dimmer the flashbacks and memories slowly faded away. Riley had finally escaped this attack, and all was still both inside and out until the sound of Carol softly closing the car door broke the grasp of release
All eyes went over to Carol as she stepped out of the car her eyes haunted, looking at everyone before she quietly spoke
"Sasha…."
A/N: yes I took the Riley in the clearing scene from when Michonne did it back in season four. I wanted Riley to be closed off, pissed off, have a little rage and some anger. The next one we'll see a little more guilt. I'd love to hear what you thought and how you would like to see Riley react to Rick and more. I have a lot of ideas swimming in my head but I'm going to wait till the season finale so that I can have all the facts and really figure out how I want Riley to act, what I want her to do and everything in between. I do have a few questions: what do you think Riley's job would be in Alexandria? How do you think she would react to Jessie? Should she be part of the run team where Noah gets killed (so sad by the way)? I love to hear what you think and what you would like to see! Let me know! Thanks!
