A/N: hello there! I'm back! I apologize for the wait and also apologize if this chapter is lacking a bit. It has been awhile since I have wrote anything and so I'm a little rusty. Also this chapter is based on the episode "Them" which while it was great to watch is a little difficult to reproduce (at least for me). I didn't want to do a re-write of the episode with Riley thrown in so I tried my best to add things and cut things. I have also had some things going on both professional and personally that have made being creative a little more difficult as well. I will say I'm not giving up on this story and I hope you don't as well. I'm looking forward to season 6 and from what I've seen think it will be a joy to write with my little Riley thrown in. I want to say thank you to all the readers who follow and favorite this story it means a whole hell of a lot. Really

Chapter Forty-Five: Friend is a Four Letter Word

'kill him…..kill him Riles….you know you want to. It needs to be done, because of that boy the love of your life is dead and gone…..kill him…..kill him….'

'Rye what would Beth want you to do…..she wouldn't want that…..don't let this eat at you'

Riley walked at the back of the group her eyes locked onto the back of Noah, watching as he walked slowly his feet shuffling along on the dry hot cement, his head bowed, his shoulders slumped. Reaching her hand into her pocket she felt the cool metal of the necklace that was sprinkled with a few red droplets, a few droplets of Beth….

Squeezing the strap of her bow she quickened her pace so she was walking in time with the young man

"let's go" was all she mumbled to him before veering off to her right and vanishing into the thick brush of the Georgia forest.

Daryl turned back to the front of the group looking over at Rick as he readjusted his hold on Judith "she's gone" he mumbled raising his thumb to his mouth "Noah's gone too"

Rick peered over his shoulder, biting his lip as he turned to look at Daryl. He was worried about his daughter, worried about her metal state, worried about her whole being. He knew she wouldn't come out and say it was their fault, but Daryl had told him what had happened in the clearing the day Tyresse had died and he knew that deep down she saw the two of them as the ones that ended Beth's life…..her own life

"she'll be back…..they'll be back" Rick spoke looking down at Judith

"she's getting hungry" Daryl mumbled

Rick looked back at the spot Riley should have been "she's on it" he replied quietly

Daryl looked over at Rick then down to Judith; Riley hadn't held or even looked at Judith in the past two days but he knew Riley wouldn't let anything happen to her. He just hoped she wouldn't let anything happen to herself….

The sun was high in the sky causing a low thick heat to spread itself over the land. The dense forest made the air almost unbearable. Riley looked up to the sky her eyes connecting with the blaze of fire before returning them to the dirt under her feet. Walking quietly through the woods, her eyes trained on the environment around her, Noah watched from his place a few feet behind, he watched as she kneeled and began to dig into the soften soil under their feet

"here"

Jerking his eyes up they flashed over to the Dixon's outstretched hand; walking over he saw that Riley had picked up two long Earth worms each one rolling over each other as they sat in the palm of her small hand

"eat" she spoke gesturing her hand out more her eyes still locked onto the ground. Noah gently picked up the worms and held them in front of his face, he watched as Riley stood throwing two more Earth worms into her mouth

"beggars' can't be choosers"

Noah looked at the worms one more time before placing them into his mouth; Riley's eyes stayed on him peering through him almost as if debating with herself on the ways of their relationship. Noah began to wonder what she was thinking, not only of him but of the situation…..the situation

"Beth wanted you to make it" Riley stated looking away from Noah and into the dense trees, her eyes hard but her words hollow, her hand slipping into her back pocket

"so you're gonna make it"

Rick looked behind the group to see the Walkers still on their trail, glancing up ahead he saw a small overpass that ventured off down a small slope. He knew he had to think of something. His group was broken and collapsing in front of his eyes; he needed to do something to bring back the fight and will in each and everyone of them. He also needed to be smart and make sure no one was injured or worse. Biting his lip and looking down at his daughter, her eyes scanning the landscape laid out in front her, taking a deep breath he knew what needed to be done. Calling the group over he slowly handed Judith to Carl and explained the plan. It was simple and wouldn't require them to use any extra energy which was already in short supply.

As the day progress the group walked slowly down the highway each one loss in their own thoughts and demons; the sound of a twig snapping froze all movements, Rick reached for his gun side stepping so that his body was blocking Carl who held Judith tightly in his arms.

Rick slowly lowered his gun as Riley appeared through the thick trees and brush, Noah right behind her. Riley spotted her father and walked towards him as they continued on down the road

"anything" he questioned watching as her eyes glanced back to look at both Carl and Judith

"no too dry….everything is dead or dying"

Rick nodded his head "we'll come across something soon enough"

Rick watched as Riley nodded her head before glancing down at her boots

"Riles" Rick spoke softly reaching over to place a hand on her shoulder

Riley jerked away from the touch and looked behind her watching as Carl talked quietly with Maggie

"think I'm gonna head back in see if there's something I missed"

Riley turned to look back at her father but it was Glenn who interrupted "mind if I tag along"

Riley looked at Glenn and bit her lip seeming to be caught in the middle of a tug of war

"sure" Riley managed to utter before squeezing the strap of her bow and veering off into the forest

Glenn looked back at Daryl and Maggie before locking eyes with Rick and giving the leader a subtle nod of the head

Glenn walked behind his friend….his sister watching as her eyes went from the forest floor to the world around them

"just say it Glenn"

Glenn's eyes snapped to the back of Riley's head as she kneeled and began to pull some leaves from a bush

Riley looked over at the man and shrugged "it's a mint plant Judith needs something…..this is better then nothing"

Glenn nodded his head and stared off into the distance "you can't blame them"

Riley let a sigh escape her lips as she stood back to her feet placing the mint leaves gently into her pocket

"I don't…..I don't blame them"

Riley turned and started to make her way back towards the highway. Glenn followed after "you can't blame yourself…"

Glenn watched as Riley pulled the faded and torn picture from her back pocket and spun around to face him "I should have been there, I should have gone…."

"you think things would have been different if you were there…..you would have just had to witness…." Glenn froze and his uncompleted sentence hung in the humid breeze

Riley's eyes dropped, she stared at the beautiful blue eyed girl in the photo her heart breaking as she faintly heard Beth's soft voice whispered in her ear

"yeah I think things would have been different….no….maybe….I don't know. Fuck at least I would have been able to see her one last time…."

Riley tore her eyes away from the picture and up to her friend whose own eyes were soft and caring "I'm sorry Riles"

Clenching her jaw Riley pushed the picture back into her pocket "don't be" she mumbled

"Riley don't do that….don't shut us out okay we need you"

'we all have jobs to do'

Riley looked behind her squeezing the strap of her bow "you're right Glenn…..we all have jobs to do"

Glenn took a step forward panic racing through his body, Riley was returning to who she was at the start

"my job is keeping Noah alive…."

Glenn's eyebrows knotted together, turning back around Riley locked eyes with the young man

"Beth wanted Noah to make it….Noah's my last line to Beth…." taking a breath Riley reached into her front pocket griping the metal that lay hidden away

"he's going to make it"

Riley needed space, she needed to get away, she needed her heart back. She pointed Glenn in the right direction and then took off into the overgrown and overheated forest.

Cutting through the brush, Riley could feel her heartbeat in her throat, she could feel the pressure of the necklace as it lay pushed inside her pocket, she could feel the weight of everything that has happened creeping up her spine. Willing her feet forward she came to a low clearing, the grass was overgrown but it was wide and vest. A few more feet away she saw a barn that was beaten and broken much like her and her group.

Collapsing against a tree Riley let her head hang and her hands drape loosely over her knees. Her eyes burned and her heart ached; squeezing her eyes shut and slamming her head back into the hard trunk of the tree she let a agonizing scream erupt from deep within her being. Pulling her knife from her boot she held the metal over the bare skin on her wrist her eyes shining. Her hand shook and she bit her lip as one warm drop rolled down her cheek. Lowering the knife Riley stared off down at the barn her hair whipping in front of her face as a warm breeze blew through the small enclosed area. Taking a deep breath Riley pulled out the few green mint leaves she had collected, she brought the foliage up to her nose and smelt the all to familiar scent

"see what happens when you let other people in"

Riley turned to the left to see Merle leaning against one of the taller trees that stood by the barn

"you really think Officer Friendly gives a damn about your girl"

Riley looked back at the leaves turning them between her fingertips

"come on Rye bread….he cares about his and his alone, and truth of the matter you ain't his"

Riley looked back at Merle their blue eyes connecting their blue eyes that were one in the same

"she was your girl, your love, your heart and now she's dead because Rick Grimes had to be the hero, I thought old Merle taught you right girlie…only people that give a true damn about you is me and Daryl….don't you forget that"

Riley stood to her feet watching as Merle smirked at her "blood is everything Rye bread….just took you a little longer to see that"

Riley stared down at the mint leaves in her hand before looking back at the empty space Merle had once been. Settling her eyes on the barn she slowly swung her bow back on her shoulder and turned heading back into the forest dropping the scent covered leaves as she went

Rick and the rest of the group had taken a break from the unforgiving trek and took shelter on the side of the road, each person tired, beaten and broken. Everyone holding on by the tiniest of threads. Rick looked over at Daryl

"Riles has been gone awhile" he spoke voice low as Carl sat a few feet away attempting to get Judith to nap

Daryl looked over at Glenn replaying the words the man had told him about his time with his sister earlier in the day

"yeah I'm going to head out" Daryl stood to his feet just as the sound of growls filled the air, spinning around everyone alert, weapons drawn as four dogs wild and dehumanized began to encircle them. Rick looked to Daryl debating on the best course of action until all four dogs fell silent, all hitting the ground with a soft thud as a bullet hit each one

Rick getting to his feet watched with a sense of unease as Riley emerged from the wood line sliding her gun into the back of her jeans

"should start a fire" she spoke looking at no one as she made her way towards the dogs pulling her knife from her boot as she went

Rick studied Riley as she skinned the dogs and prepared them for the fire that Tara and Rosita had started, studied her as she gave everyone a small portion, studied her as she gave Noah her own ration, studied her as she watched Noah ensuring he eat all before him

"she's gone ain't she"

Rick looked over to Maggie who sat down beside her leader her eyes trained on her friend….her sister

"I think so" he spoke throwing a discarded bone to the side "we'll get her back though"

Rick could feel Maggie shake her head "I don't think we can this time…if anything we have to keep Noah alive"

Turning to look at Maggie the green-eyed girl tore her eyes away from the young boy

"he was the last person to actually talk to Beth, actually be with Beth…..Beth wanted Noah to make it….Beth was her reason and Noah became Beth's so now Noah is Riley's….if Noah dies then we truly lose her"

It was decided that the group needed to keep moving, they needed to get somewhere remotely safe before the night fell, and they were still in desperate need of water. Riley had taken point and walked ahead of the group every now and again glancing behind her, her eyes only looking for Noah.

It had been a few miles when Rick whose eyes remained glued to Riley noticed a change in her demeanor, he watched as she raised her bow her eyes searching the area

"Riley what's wrong…." Rick rushed out sprinting to over to where Riley was racing off too

Riley spun around crossbow still raised "someone's been watching us….following us"

Rick gripped Riley's shoulder only for her to jerk out of his grasp "look" she hissed pointing off a few meters. Rick followed Riley's gaze and spotted what had alarmed her. Three jugs of water sat in the middle of the road taped to the middle jug was a note simply stating

'From a Friend'

The rest of the group gathered around the water each one staring at one another and then off into the woods the rustling of the trees making each of them even more anxious

"we're being set up…someone has been following us…."

Riley looked around the group her eyes lingering on Carl and Judith for a moment

"it could be from a friend…."

Riley's eyes snapped over to Eugene "we have no friends" Riley hissed through clenched teeth "there are no friendly people out here don't you get that…."

Riley's eyes hardened at the man as he looked down at the water "but hell if you want to prove me wrong go right ahead" she spoke gesturing to the water

"it's a trap….we don't touch it"

Riley's eyes drifted to the sky as a loud clap of thunder was heard; it only took a moment before the skies opened and rain washed over the hot and heated group

Panicked Riley's hand ran over the fabric of her jeans feeling the moister seep into the material

"there's a barn…" Riley yelled over the crackle of thunder and the pounding of the rain, and her heart

Inside the barn the small family made a makeshift camp constructing a small fire to dry out and cook the last of the dog that Daryl had saved

Riley sat off to the side her hands holding the small square picture that had now become waterlogged, the image disorientated and scattered; the world around Riley became quiet the air cold and still, she had lost the last image of Beth the last thing that contained her bright blue orbs, her light up a room smile, it was all gone, she didn't have her anymore…..her….her…..

Rick watched Riley sitting against the back wall her head bowed as her fingers ran over the small picture that he had feared was ruined because of the rain

"she'll be fine" Rick looked over watching as Carol too stared at the girl before her eyes drifted to the other two children "they'll all be…they bounce back quicker then any of us"

Rick let out a breath, he knew Carl and Judith would be fine, Carol was right the kids did bounce back better, having not lived long in the world before the turn it was easier to come to terms with the way things were now. Riley was another story glancing back he caught Riley staring off, it looked like she was staring at nothing but in fact she was watching Noah who was warming his hands over the small flames

Rick looked down at the flames before staring at each member of his family "When I was a kid I asked my grandpa once if he ever killed any Germans in the war. He wouldn't answer. He said that was grown-up stuff, so I asked if the Germans ever tried to kill him. But he got real quiet. He said he was dead the minute he stepped into enemy territory. Every day he woke up and told himself, "Rest in peace. Now get up and go to war." And then after a few years of pretending he was dead he made it out alive. That's the trick of it, I think. We do what we need to do and then we get to live. But no matter what we find in DC, I know we'll be okay. Because this is how we survive. We tell ourselves that we are the walking dead."

It was quiet for a moment before Daryl who had been watching his sister the whole time stood snapping a twig and throwing it into the fire "we ain't them"

Rick looked at Daryl "hey" he spoke out but Daryl had already started to move away going to sit by his sister at the back of the barn "we aren't them"

Daryl looked at Riley as he lowered himself to the ground he noticed the now blurred photograph that sat clutched in-between her fingers, unsure of what to say he just sat by her waiting to see if she would speak first. More then an hour had passed and the barn was quiet the only sound coming from those who shuffled in their sleep

"we are though"

Daryl jerked his eyes over to Riley who looked lost, haunted, hollow….

"we are the dead ones….we are the walking dead"

Turning to look at her Daryl opened his mouth "Rye bread"

It was then that the sounds of the howling wind and the slight sound of growls filled the stillness, both Riley and Daryl turned peering through the crack in the barn door only to come face to face with dead, yellow eyes. Both Dixon children got to their feet applying all their weight to the doors that swayed with not only the breeze but the dead.

It only took a minute before the rest of the group one by one appeared each one pushing back on the doors doing all they could to keep the small safe heaven they had found intact. Riley turned and locked eyes with Noah before turning them back towards the dry and peeling wood.

'don't let him die'

After what felt like hours the storm settled and the stillness returned. Slowly everyone backed away from the doors each one tired but alive. Daryl watched as Riley sat down on a hay bale her back crashing against the wall as her hand reached into her pocket. Slowly he started to make his way towards her as Maggie appeared kneeling down and whispering to her. Riley looked up and nodded before pushing herself up and following Maggie out of the barn.

Maggie lead Riley out of the barn the two girls taking in the deconstruction the storm had left in it's wake. Trees were littered around the land some of them trapping the Walkers underneath

Maggie lead Riley towards an overturn log both girls sitting down watching as the sun made it's appearance over the horizons casting the sky in a pink hue

Riley looked at the sky, remembering how she and Beth would watch the sun rise and set together

"storm should have killed us"

Maggie looked at Riley felt the pain roll off her body and float through her words

"but it didn't"

Riley looked down for a moment before swinging her crossbow off her back and placing it on her lap

"why are we here"

Maggie looked at the sun "for this"

Riley looked back at the sun and for a moment Maggie saw a broken smirk cross her features before it was replaced with sadness

"we're going to make it" Maggie spoke "both of us…..together"

Riley looked at Maggie her eyes so broken. Riley watched as Maggie pulled out an old music box "Carl found it….Daryl said he fixed it" Riley looked back at the sun as Maggie turned the knob and placed it in the middle of them

When nothing happened both girls couldn't help but let a smile chuckle fall from their lips "Merle was the fixer in the family" Riley spoke.

"hey…hi"

Riley and Maggie jumped to their feet each one raising their weapon as a man appeared from around a tree his hands raised above his head

"sorry didn't mean to interrupt…I'm Aaron"

Riley looked over at the man called Aaron, taking in his appearance, he was too clean, too well kept and too friendly

"I know the whole stranger danger thing, but….but I like to talk to the man in charge…..Rick right"

Riley took a step forward her crossbow aimed and ready "how the hell…"

Aaron smiled at the two girls, hands still in the air

"I have good news"

A/N: let me know what you think, like I said before I'm trying to get back into the swing of it and I feel like the next few chapters will help that as a lot happens. As always reviews mean a lot and I would love to hear what you think in terms of Riley's opinion of Jesse, what Riley's job would be and all the interesting things that happen once they reach Alexandria! Thank You. Review Please!