CHAPTER 6
Happy New Year! Although it feels suspiciously like 2020 take 2! Thank goodness for our escape that is Dani and Jamie eh!
Keep safe, and I hope 2021 brings happier times for all!
The au pair could not remember the last time she'd slept this well, and she thought perhaps she never had.
She opened her sleepy eyes to the sight of Jamie, naked, beside her, her own arm draped across the sleeping brunette, puzzled to be waking up unable to remember nodding off.
She lifted her head slightly at the sight of something glimmering on Jamie's shoulder, realising it was her scar. She thought back to Jamie's childhood, scrunching her eyes closed again briefly, tortured by her suffering. She wanted to reach across and kiss it, kiss away every ounce of Jamie's pain, but she resisted, not wanting to wake her.
She gradually sat up and threw on the discarded clothes that she could reach, doing up the clasp on her bra before making her way across the room to pick up her jumper. As she bent down to claim it, she smiled, remembering the events of the previous night with Jamie dropping the garment at her feet, planting kisses along her neck, and trailing her fingers across her bare skin. The young American's body tingled just thinking about it.
Having lost herself to her thoughts, it took Dani a few minutes to realise she was looking at herself in the mirror.
As she came to, she looked a little harder, but all she saw was herself, and the shape of a certain gardener under the quilt cover behind her. Cocking her head slightly, she half smiled as her body relaxed, a sense of relief washing over her.
Dani remembered yanking the sheets off the mirror the night before as she straightened herself out to face Flora. She'd thought nothing of it at the time, with her flustered panic, but she realised that he hadn't appeared then either. Perhaps Eddie had finally let her go, she thought to herself. The reality of course was that Jamie had taken away the guilt and shame she felt, and built her back up. It was her that had let go…
Pulling her jumper over her head and flicking the wavy locks out from underneath it, the young American glanced over towards Jamie as she made her way over to the window. The gardener was still fast asleep, and as beautiful as ever. Dani let out a deep breath, completely overcome with how happy and content she felt. Everything had come together. She felt more together. It was still extremely early, but Dani could tell that this was going to be a beautiful day, how could it not be?!
However…
Dani was brought back into the room as she caught Flora out of the corner of her eye, stood once again out on the lawn in her pyjamas.
Considering for a moment whether to wake Jamie, she decided there wasn't time and sped straight off downstairs, pulling her trainers on mid run.
"Flora!" She shouted as she ran towards her across the dew, "Flora!… What are you doing?!"
"Where am I?" asked Flora, coming out of some sort of trance.
"Whats happening? Were you sleepwalking again?" questioned Dani frantically.
"I don't know… I think I was tucked away again," came the confused replied, the au pair just as puzzled. "Why does this keep happening?"
Flora was close to tears, being pulled in two directions all the time, unable to control it, and unable to explain anything to the young teacher.
Dani searched her face, desperately wanting to give her an answer, a reason why, anything, because if she could explain it, she could fix it. But she couldn't. She didn't understand why, and it broke her heart watching Flora going through such turmoil, unable to do anything about it.
The young ward closed her eyes momentarily, but was decidedly different when she opened them again. Apologising for alarming Miss Clayton, she explained that she had just been going for a walk, nothing to worry about, and headed off to get breakfast.
Dani couldn't believe her eyes or ears. Flora had completely changed character. All she could do was laugh nervously, and understand that Flora perhaps felt embarrassed by her sleepwalking, and had wanted to get back to normal. The real reason would have been the last thing imaginable for the young au pair.
She followed her back to the house, but her mind was on overdrive with questions, trying to think of ways in which to help her. She had promised Henry that she could make a difference to these children. There were just two of them after all, a manageable amount surely. But what if she couldn't. What if this was bigger than her. Flora was clearly experiencing a lot of inner turmoil, which if anything was getting worse.
Her mind was whirring back and forth with overwhelming concern for her young ward, pitted against her own self doubt. But she knew that quitting would never be an option. She would find a way to ease Flora's suffering, and she would protect these children with her life. They had become family, along with everyone else at Bly. Dani finally felt at home for the first time in her life.
...
Jamie stirred, her eyes blinking back the bright morning sunlight, not quite able to open them fully just yet.
She beamed as each blink revealed the au pair's bedroom, remembering where she was waking up. The gardener turned herself away from the light and over towards Dani, except Dani wasn't there…
The brunette's brow furrowed momentarily, saddened to find an empty bed. She was hit with a mix of emotions, concern for Dani, and a slight pang of worry that perhaps she had regretted the night before. But Jamie soon pulled herself together. She had spent her whole life distrusting people, and relying soley on herself, but Dani was different, and she knew that. She trusted her wholeheartedly, which both terrified and reassured her in equal measures, if that's even at all possible.
Jamie pushed down any concerns, her face beaming once again at thoughts of the night before, scrunching the duvet up around her, and letting herself drift for a few more minutes.
...
The morning seemed to while away, Jamie pottered on in the greenhouse, tending to her plants, and getting things ready to put into the soil. Her mind couldn't stop wandering to thoughts of Dani though, grinning spontaneously like a Cheshire cat. She was thankful she worked alone, as an inquisitive colleague would most certainly be quizzing her on her unnervingly sprightly mood.
The gardener shook her head, and endeavoured to try and actually get some work done today. She headed out into the grounds to oversee what was in need of some attention, before making her way to the tool shed.
After lots of clattering, Jamie reappeared with some long shears ready to attack the hedgerows lining the main driveway.
The gardener managed to keep her mind in check, fully immersing herself in the job at hand until she she heard Miles and Flora bounding their way towards her. She looked up, lifting her hat slightly for a clearer view, hoping that a certain Miss Clayton might be accompanying them.
Sadly it was just the children... She had a deep affection for the children, of course, but Dani was all that was on her mind today.
"Alright you lot!… Where y'off to?" She said, pulling at the fingers of her gardening gloves.
Flora bounced over to her and threw her arms around her. The brunette beamed, and returned the embrace, cupping flora's head with her glove-free hand, as the other enveloped her.
"We're just playing..." Said Flora as she released the gardener and the pair of them skipped off, Miles racing ahead. "Hey! Wait for me!" She called to him, as they disappeared into the distance. "Bye Jamie," she shouted with a wave as she shot off after him.
The gardener smiled sincerely and waved back. "Have fun!"
The grounds were so vast, yet safe for the children to go off and explore. They would often play outside which was great considering everything they'd been through. Jamie's smile continued, simply pleased to see them just being children.
Miles was often a piece of work, testing Jamie's limits, but she knew what they'd been through, and would always be protective of them, even if she did want to rip his head off most of the time.
The gardener put her gloves back on and set back to work, but her shears had seized up.
"Argh for fuck's sake," she said, yanking at the handles.
She continued fiddling with them, but it was making her more and more irate. She calmly set them down on the floor as she took in a deep breath, knowing she needed to give in, before reaching the point of throwing the damn things half way across the lawn. As she did so she chuckled under a breath, realising that she probably would have thrown them across the lawn ordinarily, she could be quite the hot head… but maybe her outlook had changed too. These two women were grounding one another in ways neither of them knew or understood fully yet, but it's a beautiful thing, watching them bloom.
Smiling to herself, Jamie filled the wheelbarrow with trimmings and set the shears on top before heading back towards the house.
...
Sat at the head of the kitchen table, Jamie was tinkering with her tools when Mrs Grose pottered in, "Oh Jamie, do you have to do that there, we have to eat at that table you know!"
"Don't worry Hannah," Jamie replied with a hint of sarcasm and a subtle eye roll, "I'll clean up after m'self, don't you worry…"
Hannah's eyes widened as the pair caught one another's eye line, "I'll believe that when I see it…" She responded jovially as Jamie squinted at her, pursing her lips.
Suddenly the door to outside burst open and Dani rushed in. She always had such an urgency about her, even when nothing was pressing. Jamie couldn't help but smile, that particular trait just filling her with complete joy.
Hannah had been stood by the fireplace, the first face she saw as she entered, mouthing her an almost silent but warm "Hey," as she continued into the room.
Her speed dipped slightly as she then saw Jamie, her lips pressing together as she tried to suppress a smile, avoiding eye contact at any cost.
"Jamie..." said the au pair as she glided past her, heading towards the sink.
Jamie dipped her head, her smile ever growing.
"Poppins..." she returned.
Hannah and Owen had observed the interaction and looked at one another knowingly, they themselves sharing a smile. They'd known Jamie quite a few years now, and could see that these young women had found a real connection. Perhaps their evening out in the grounds had gone well...
Still at the sink with her back to the room, Dani had both hands on the basin, holding her weight. She couldn't help but let her face do what it wanted to do, a beaming smile spreading right across from ear to ear. She had had such a horrible morning, but just for a second, seeing Jamie sat there, with her perfect curls, and her dirt covered hands and face, Dani had been lifted, and even if just for a moment, she felt like everything would be ok.
Her smile grew again.
"So... What's happening here?" she questioned as she filled a glass of water and sauntered over to sit at the table.
The gardener lifted her eyes to Dani's which shot a bolt through the both of them.
"Me shears are fucked," she said, slumped in her chair, demonstrating their lack of movement.
"Oh…" said Dani with genuine concern. "Do you think you will be able to fix them?"
Mrs Grose chimed in as she perched herself on the edge of the table, an untouched cup of tea in hand, "Oh there's nothing Jamie can't fix Dani. I ask her to do all sorts… she can turn her hand to just about anything, can't you… Magic fingers this one," she said, nodding at the gardener.
Dani's eyes widened, "I'm sure," she said with a hint of knowing sarcasm. She looked at Jamie as she said it, trying not to mirror the smirk spreading across the gardener's dipped face.
"I only wish she wouldn't do it on the the kitchen table…" added Hannah with a stern look at the gardener.
Jamie squirmed in her seat, clearing her throat to try and disguise laughter. Dani simply couldn't look at either of them, turning her head to hide her face, eyes and lips squeezed tightly shut, trying so hard not to laugh.
Hannah smiled innocently, unaware of the implications of what she'd said, "I'll go and check on the children, you two have a break for a bit," she said as she stood up and headed over to the sink to tip out her tea.
"That would be so appreciated, thank you Hannah," Dani returned, trying to sound as grateful as she genuinely was, but still unable to look at Jamie's grinning face.
"And make sure this is all gone by dinner time would you," Hannah directed at Jamie, circling her hand above Jamie's tools.
Jamie scrunched her face up and nodded sarcastically, to which Hannah rolled her eyes and headed off into the corridor.
Owen seemed to have disappeared as well, so then there were two.
"Oh my gad…" laughed Dani.
Jamie began chuckling, unable to hold it in any longer. The pair of them got into a fit of giggles, the other ones laughter making everything ten times funnier somehow. They'd begin to settle, then one of them would start them off again. After the morning Dani had had, this was the best medicine, and it wasn't even that funny!
"God love her," said Jamie as they tried to calm themselves back down again.
"Well, in Hannah's defence… she is right…" said Dani, bringing on a new wave of giggles. "But also… you have got dirt absolutely everywhere!… I mean how on earth is it dirty down the other end of the table?!… This table is huge!" she continued, surveying the mess Jamie had made.
"Oi you!" Jamie protested, "Don't you start n all!… This place will be spotless when I've finished, just you wait and see!… Besides, I was kinda hopin' I might see a certain person if I worked on them in 'ere…"
"Owen?" Dani returned, which was met with a smirk.
"Yeah…" Jamie pondered, "It's that tash, gets me all hot under the collar… I mean women are great n all… but facial hair… wins every time!"
"Good to know," Dani chuckled.
The teacher reached into her pocket for her handkerchief, and began brushing it across Jamie's filthy cheeks.
"How is it possible that you look this beautiful when you're covered in oil?!"
The gardener blushed, taken aback to hear the compliment. She wasn't used to it. Her eyes were fixed on the au pair as she searched her own for patches of dirt to gently wipe away, her heart completely melting.
"You don't need to..." said Jamie, "It'll ruin your hank…" Her sentence trailed off as Dani's eyes lifted to meet her own, her whole face softening into them.
"I want to," she said sincerely, pressing her handkerchief to her skin once again.
Dani could feel Jamie's constant gaze, her cheeks beginning to blush. Both women smiling coyly as their eyes would meet momentarily.
A smear lay just under the corner of Jamie's mouth. Dani brushed gently at first, adding slightly more pressure in an attempt to remove the stain. Jamie's lips were being dragged around with the skin she was pulling at, mesmerising Dani with their enticing draw. She watched as the gardener's mouth curved upwards, darting her eyes to meet Jamie's. Her eyes were smiling at her as she took hold of the au pair's hand and removed the handkerchief, planting a slow soft kiss across her knuckles.
Dani bit the side of her bottom lip as she drew in a sharp breath, her eyes transfixed on Jamie's lips once again.
Jamie smiled coyly.
"Oh, shush you!" The young teacher said playfully as she returned to dabbing the brunette's face, unable to allow the tension to build between them right now. Not in the kitchen. What would Hannah say!
"Pretty sure I didn't say a thing," Jamie returned cheekily.
Dani stuck her tongue out in retaliation, "Well here, you can just stay dirty for all I care," she said, pushing the hanky into Jamie's chest and rising from her chair in protest.
Jamie lifted her hand to take the hanky, but held her hand close to her chest so she could feel her heart beat. The gardener stood up to face Dani, their hands still residing on Jamies chest, which had begun to rise and fall at a quickened rate.
Dani's eyes smiled as time stopped for a moment. Jamie leant in slowly, their eyes meeting, before kissing her softly on the lips. Dani's whole body relaxed instantly, which Jamie could feel as the hand she was holding to her chest became heavy.
The kisses continued, soft and gentle, with Jamie affectionately kissing Dani's nose as she pulled back. Both women were beaming, savouring every moment they share.
"You might be a little dirty now too," said Jamie looking down at Dani's oily hand.
The young teacher rolled her eyes and made her way over to the sink.
Jamie smiled just watching her. Everything she did seemed to make her smile she thought. This feeling was something she'd never known before, it couldn't be explained, or measured. She just simply couldn't get enough of her.
"So I err… missed y' this mornin'…" Jamie said as the au pair washed her hands.
"Oh, I'm sorry… I didn't wanna wake you, you looked so peaceful." said Dani sincerely, turning back round as she dried her hands.
"I actually saw Flora in her pyjamas out on the lawn again… so I literally ran as fast as I could… I've spent all morning trying to work out what to do for her… How to stop this… She looked so lost and confused… It breaks my heart… You know,"
"Shit!" replied Jamie with concern, shocked to hear of Dani's morning. "What happened? How long had she been out there? Sleepwalking again?!"
"I guess?!" Dani replied, puzzled herself.
"How are you doin'?" asked Jamie, making her way over to her. She instinctively took a hold of her nice clean hands, "You shoulda said somethin' earlier Poppins… I wouldn't have bin messin' around if I'd known you had so much on your mind."
"Hey… don't be silly… Seeing you has brightened my day… and I really mean that…" she said genuinely with a smile. She leant in and pecked Jamie on the lips, "I needed a break from thinking about it all anyway… it feels impossible…"
Jamie's brow furrowed, saddened to see Dani in distress. She was about to delve deeper into it all when the outside door burst open again.
Their hands broke apart impulsively, but not before an affectionate squeeze, a simple gesture by Jamie to let Dani know she is always there for her, especially right now.
