Lily tugged at the bottom of her black dress, studying her reflection in the mirror for any sign of imperfection. She was doing her best not to focus on the fact that this would be the first funeral she attended since her father's, a year ago. Fabian came up from behind her, his arms wrapping around her waist.

"How're you doing?"

"I'm okay." Lily watched through the mirror as he turned his head and kissed her temple.

It had been a week since the discovery of Alice's mother. Lily hadn't had a chance to see her since getting back from the cottage, partly due to a busy schedule but more honestly, because she was certain Alice would be in the same state of despair she had been in only a year ago.

"What're you thinking about?" Fabian asked, his voice muffled in her neck.

"How awful this must be for Alice." Lily pulled his arms around her a little tighter.

"Are you thinking about him?"

"Of course." Lily didn't miss a beat. God, she thought of her Dad constantly. Anytime she saw a man with the same build walking towards her on the street or heard booming laughter from across a room. She wondered if he was with her, if he knew where she was and what she was doing…

"Can I do anything to make it better?" Lily turned around in his arms, her arms wrapping around him.

"Don't leave my side." Lily knew she'd be leaning on Fabian all day, clutching to his arm whenever she felt herself getting overwhelmed. Fabian was her anchor. She kissed him, fingers coming to run through his recently combed hair. He'd complain about that later she knew it.

"I love you," Fabian said, not even thinking about it, as they drew apart.

"I love you too." When had that become a phrase thrown around between them so easily? How did Lily even know she was in love, what did she have to compare it to? The moment of self-doubt made her stomach knot but Fabian didn't seem to notice. He took over the mirror, using it to help him adjust his tie. Lily slipped into the ensuite bathroom, swallowing back the lump in her throat.

What was wrong with her? She loved Fabian, of course, she did. Lily had known it since that first date to Hogsmeade when he'd taken her through the stacks at the music shop and reached for her hand as they listened to a Fleetwood Mac album together. Fabian was her Frank, they were in it for the long run, so what was she doing standing in his bathroom, struggling not to cry? Why did everything suddenly feel so off balance?

"Babe?" Fabian's voice carried from behind the door. "You almost ready?" Lily gripped the edge of the counter, taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly.

"Coming!"


Mary was sitting at the kitchen island, her foot tapping nervously against the side of her chair. She'd had her hair and makeup finished for fifteen minutes but Emmeline was not quite as fast, Mary had come to learn in their time together that it was best to add thirty minutes on to Emmeline's arrival time.

"How's this dress?" Emmeline asked, her heels clicking against the hardwood floor as she stepped out of the bedroom.

"You realize this is a funeral don't you?" Mary asked, eyeing up Emmeline's tight fitting, short black dress. She looked ready for a night out on the town. "In a church?"

"Merlin…maybe I shouldn't go," Emmeline fretted, running her hands along the dress. "I mean, it's not like Alice and I are particularly close anyway, and I just feel so…unprepared…"

"You should definitely go," Mary was not about to attend this funeral solo. "Besides, you're my plus one." It had only been a short time they'd shared together but it hadn't taken long for Emmeline and Mary to become a packaged deal. Once Lily had returned home from her weekend away Mary had figured it was easier to stay with Emmeline where she could be less of a burden and keep the latter company as well.

Mary led the way back into Emmeline's bedroom, sifting through her closet. There were dresses of all lengths and colours, some with their price tags still on.

"Here," Mary pulled out a dress. "This one's nice." It was a good length with a high neck which was a lacking feature with most dresses Emmeline owned.

"Ugh," Emmeline complained, stripping out of her current outfit and into the dress Mary handed her. "This makes me look like a nun."

"That's not a bad look for a funeral."

Mary had only ever attended one funeral before – the one for Lily's father. It had been heartbreaking, seeing the grief-torn faces of Lily and her family. No one had seen it coming, Lily least of all, and she'd been an absolute wreck all summer. Mary suspected Alice would be the same, possibly worse, given the circumstances.

Emmeline gave herself one last look in the mirror, running her fingers through her long, strawberry blonde hair. "Okay," she finally sighed, "let's get going." It was a grey, Friday morning. The two girls wandered around the corner and down the empty alleyway so that they could apparate, Mary, taking the lead as she knew where Alice's home was and the church was not far away.

There were people slowly filing through the doors, organ music to be heard from inside the church. They still had fifteen minutes before the service started and neither Emmeline nor Mary seemed quite prepared to enter the church yet.

"I hate funerals," Emmeline confessed, the two girls standing on the grass outside, waiting until they absolutely had to enter. "They're so bloody depressing."

"I think that's the point."

"I don't want a bunch of people sitting in a church crying after I die," Emmeline told her, rubbing her hands along her arms to keep warm. "I'd rather a big party, a celebration of sorts." Mary couldn't argue with that.

"Hiya." Mary turned around to find Peter coming up behind them, hands tucked into his suit pockets. "Why haven't you gone inside yet?"

"We're…waiting," Emmeline told him. "Avoiding more accurately."

"Have you seen Alice yet?"

The girls shook their heads. "You?"

"No," Peter bit his lip. "I spoke to James yesterday, apparently she planned the whole funeral herself."

"How'd he know that?" Mary frowned. She'd written Alice, not long after the news had come out, to offer her condolences and support. Her friend had replied with a generic thank you and the announcement for the funeral had arrived a few days later.

"I guess Marlene told him. Sounds awful though, doesn't it?"

"Yeah," Mary nodded, her heart going out to Alice. "It does."

Inside the church was packed. Alice and her family were nowhere to be seen, Mary assumed they were hiding until absolutely necessary, but Debra's many friends and admirers had come out in numbers. Mary recognized fellow students from Hogwarts with their parents. She saw the McKinnon family and the Potters sitting in one of the middle rows. Lily and the Prewett twins sitting together to the side.

"Is that Dumbledore?" Emmeline whispered, clutching Mary's arm.

"Merlin…I think it is." He was sat with Alastor Moody, hands clasped in his lap, long white beard unmistakable.

"I don't think I've ever seen him outside of Hogwarts," Peter interjected, "it's like seeing a celebrity." The three of them grabbed programs from the table near the chapel's entrance and signed the guest book before they took their seats, the service beginning.


The reception that followed the funeral took place in the church's basement. A group of kind-faced, older women had prepared an array of tea sandwiches and veggie platters for those who attended the service. James, Marlene and Sirius sat around one of the many tables joining their families.

James had a paper plate in front of him, piled with egg and tuna salad sandwiches, carrots and ranch, but he couldn't be bothered to eat any of it. Every time he moved to take a bite, the image of Alice's father weeping into his hands filled his mind.

"James," his mother pressed her hand into his back, "are you, okay sweetheart?" He looked up and caught her worried expression, her eyebrows drawn together, her red lips turned down in a frown.

"Yeah," James lied, not wanting to worry her. He leaned forward and picked up the egg salad slice. It tasted like sandpaper in his mouth but he ate it all anyway, pieces of eggshell crunching between his teeth.

"Merlin, will you look at Charles?" Maureen sighed. "I've never seen a man so defeated…"

"I can't imagine what he's going through," James' father agreed, eyes on Charles Griffith. "The helplessness…" Now James' appetite was certainly gone.

That whole service all he could do was think about his own parents, renowned in their field, visibly against the growing interest in blood cleansing, could they be next? Alice's mother had not been nearly as well known in the community and yet she was dead.

"How's Alice doing?" James heard his mother ask, facing Marlene.

"As well as can be expected," she shrugged. "She's been carrying most of the weight, her father hasn't dealt with it very well…"

"That poor girl," Maureen shook her head.

"Please let her know we're here if she needs anything."

"I'm sure she's already heard that a hundred times today," James reminded his mother, staring across the room at Alice. She was sitting at a table with some of the other girls and Frank, who seemed more focused on her than anything else in the room, reminding her every once and a while to eat some of her food. James couldn't begin to imagine what it was like for him, watching someone he loved in so much pain.

"You guys should do something with her tonight," James' mother suggested, "get her mind off things. James, you should invite her over—"

"Mum," James complained, "I'm hardly friends with her." Sure, he and Alice got along okay, he didn't mind inviting her to a party or being partnered up in class, but they weren't close enough to be going over to each other's homes.

"Might not be an awful idea James," Sirius jumped in. "We could have a sort of…get together…"

"A party?" Marlene's eyebrows rose. "I don't really think she's going to be in the mood after today."

"You never know," Alfred shrugged, taking a sip of coffee from his Styrofoam cup. "Getting drunk is a classic cure for grief." All three of the teenagers at the table looked at each other in disbelief.

"You are all seriously suggesting we throw a party?" James could barely believe it.

"Why not? you'll be doing her a favour." James turned to Sirius who nodded in agreement.

"Well," he gave in, "I suppose it's not the worst idea…"

X

It took a little convincing to get the rest of the gang on board. The girls worried it would be too much too soon and James didn't know Alice well enough to argue. In the end, Lily had agreed to talk to Frank who had suggested the idea to Alice who had agreed – to everyone's surprise.

James' parents gave them total reign of the back garden for the night and retreated to the house's second floor for the night.

James and Sirius had taken up food duty (more accurately, asking Mimsy to whip up something for their guests), Remus and Peter and agreed to get the booze, and the girls had all spread out to invite as many guests as possible.

James' back garden was more accurately a large field (previously the property's farmland) which spread out to the edge of a forest. There was a small hill which led down towards the forest, providing some privacy from the main house. They set tables up at the base of it, filling them with food and drink. James' parties always got such good turn out because of the free food and booze that were guaranteed.

"Do you think we'll regret this?" Sirius asked, watching as Peter and Remus struggled to set up the lights they been tasked with arranging.

"Nah," James was doing his best to be positive, "there's no wrong reason to throw a party."

"Where the hell is the music?" James looked over his shoulder to see Marlene struggling down the hill. She was wearing a pair of high waisted jeans; a low cut black tank top tucked into them. Even James, whose feelings for Marlene were entirely platonic, had to admit she looked hot.

"Well, you've sure set the standard haven't you?" James teased her as she came up beside him.

"It's the best I could do with what I have here." Marlene had her own bedroom at James' house, complete with a dresser full of clothes. James caught Sirius staring from the corner of his eye but brushed it off, not wanting to make a big stink before everyone arrived.

Marlene used magic to transport the turntable and speakers outside, bringing with them only her favourite records. She started playing The Talking Heads and poured herself a glass of beer, swaying to the music.

It was another hour before anyone showed up, the boys entertaining themselves with a game of Exploding Snaps. Within thirty minutes though, there were at least twenty people on the back lawn, alcohol on their breath. James spotted members from the Quidditch team and fellow classmates among the crowd gathering to come out and support Alice.

"Quite the turnout for such last minute notice." It was Lily who said it, sneaking up behind him. She'd changed out of her black dress and let her hair down for the evening. James loved it when she wore her hair down. Whenever she was nervous – or thinking very hard about something - she'd tuck it behind her ear. He loved watching her do it, running her fingers through the ends of it…

"Alice here yet?" Lily asked, breaking his train of thought.

"No, not yet." James wondered whether Lily had come alone. He didn't see Fabian around, although they'd arrived at the funeral together. James had been signing the guestbook with his parents when he looked up and saw them stepping into the church, Fabian's arm wrapped protectively around her waist. Something about it had bothered him. He decided it was because he found it totally inappropriate to show any PDA at a funeral (although it didn't bother him as much when he caught Frank holding Alice's hand and stroking her back throughout the service).

"Where's your boyfriend?" James asked.

"Oh, he um, he wasn't able to make it." She wouldn't quite look him in the eye when she spoke about Fabian. It bugged him when she did that, acted like it was uncomfortable for James to even mention her boyfriend. They had gotten past that hadn't they, his schoolboy crush? James was over it, or, as over it as he could be, and he just wanted to move on as friends, at the least.

"It's actually his dad's birthday, they're doing a big dinner."

"Kind of a sad start to a birthday." Merlin, was he really making awkward small talk with Lily Evans? Was it truly impossible for them to move past this and be normal?

"Yeah," she nodded, pretending to fiddle with a thread on her sleeve, "I figured Alice needed me more tonight."

"I hope she enjoys tonight…" James caught himself, "as much as she can." He was a little thankful when their conversation was cut short by Marlene, who came over to alert them that Alice and Frank had just arrived.

"I hope this is okay?" James asked when he met Alice at the drinks table. Frank was piling up a plate of food that James presumed he was about to force Alice to eat.

"This is so thoughtful, thank you, James." There was a sadness in Alice's eyes that James had never seen before like a light had gone out. He couldn't imagine what she'd been through in the past few days, or what she was going through as she stood there now.

"Can I get you a drink?" It was the best he could do in the way of comfort.

"Always."


"You have to be one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen." Alice's rather attractive cousin was showering Marlene with compliments. He lived in Ireland and he'd been one of the many who'd travelled over to support Alice and her father. Apparently, he was nineteen and wanted to be a professional Quidditch player. None of that mattered much to Marlene though.

"Oh Please," she was giggling, loving the whole thing. "I'm sure you say that to all the ladies." The party was in full swing and she was at least two shots and two beers deep.

"Oh believe me darlin', I've never met anyone like you." Marlene bat her eyelashes, watching him melt like putty in her hands. "What're you doing later tonight?" He asked, stepping closer towards her.

"I don't know," she smirked, "depends on what you're doing I suppose—"

"I cannot believe this!" Came Sirius' indignant cry. "What in hell are you doing with my girlfriend?" Marlene stared at him in horror.

"I…" the Irish man stuttered. "I'm sorry mate, I, I swear I thought she was single…" Marlene was going to murder Sirius. She'd make sure to torture him first too, just to make sure he got what he deserved.

"Piss off!" Sirius snapped at the innocent man who practically ran away.

"What the fuck you wanker!" Marlene smacked him hard across the arm once they were alone.

"Hey! I saw him talking to at least two other girls before you. He was a dick."

"You're the dick," Marlene grumbled in response. "I was having fun."

"Oh come on, you'll be thankful in the morning I saved you from a poor, drunken decision."

"I'm not drunk," Marlene said defensively. She was angry. She hated when Sirius did that, acted like he owned her. They had an agreement but somehow it seemed every time he got a little alcohol in his system he failed to remember the terms.

"Come on," Sirius prodded her, stepping towards the house.

"I'm not going anywhere with you." Now she was just being stubborn.

"You know I was only joking around!" She didn't budge, eyes shooting daggers. "I honestly thought I was doing you a favour," Sirius continued, "he seemed gross." She crossed her arms, frowning. "I'm sorry." It didn't sound very sincere. "Marls…" It was manipulative really, to use the nickname he'd made up for her in secret.

"Wanker," she rolled her eyes. How could she not soften just a little when he called her that? The name only he addressed her by, that he used in their most tender moments, the moments no one else saw or knew existed?

"Come on," he stuck his hand out for her to take, despite the crowd of their friends only ten feet away. Marlene looked over her shoulder, making sure no one she knew was too close by and grabbed on.

"Why're we going back to the house?" Marlene complained, allowing Sirius to help pull her up and over the hill so that those at the party couldn't get a clear view of them. The path back to the house was not as well lit and so Sirius had to pull out his wand, guiding the way.

"Water," he said, although she knew that was a lie. "And privacy."

"Privacy?" she teased him. "Why on earth would we need that?" He looked over at her, lowering his wand so that they disappeared into the darkness.

"Were you really going to hook up with that Irish man?" Sirius asked, stepping towards her.

"I thought about it." Marlene didn't see why that was such a crime. "Did it really bother you?" She couldn't see his face very well but she could feel him, his body so close to hers, his hands just brushing against her arms…

They heard laughter and voices not too far away and pulled apart. Sirius rose his wand once more and continued leading the way towards the back of the house, the kitchen light like a beacon in the distance.

"Do you think she's having a good time?" Marlene asked. Sirius tucked his wand into his back pocket, the sound of the party muffled in the distance.

"She seems happier than she did this morning."

"I just want to see her smile again." Marlene couldn't remember the last time she'd seen Alice smile. She wished now that she'd cherished it, her friends last happy moments, but how could she have known what tragedy was to come?

Sirius swung open the back door, holding it for Marlene who stepped inside and took a quick look around to make sure the coast was clear.

"Just us," she said, her voice hushed, "I'm sure Caroline and Alec went to sleep hours ago." She spun around to face Sirius once more, his eyes focused on her lips.

"It bothered me," he admitted. He was only ever honest when he was drunk. "Seeing you with him." Marlene didn't know whether she liked hearing that. Part of her felt anxious, knowing the longer they did this the more complicated it became.

"Sirius…"

"I know it's not supposed to bother me." He stepped closer towards her. "It does though."

"It's just the way it is." Marlene couldn't fathom it being any different. She couldn't picture a world where she and Sirius did anything more than this. They had chemistry, sure, and they'd tapped into that, but it could never go further. Not unless they wanted to risk ruining everything.

"Admit it," Sirius said, stepping forward smirking, "you're a little happy you got stuck with me over him." She was, but she'd never admit that to him.

"You're an idiot." He flicked off the lights, surrounding them in darkness. It allowed him to kiss her without worrying that someone from the party might come wander up the hill and see them from the glow of the window. He pushed her back against the kitchen counter, the passion between them always so heavy.

"Someone might see us," Marlene said, breathless as she pulled her lips away. Sirius' lips were travelling down her neck. "James might see us…"

Sirius pulled his wand out once more and flicked it at the door, locking it.

"Sirius," she chuckled, struggling to keep her voice down, "Caroline and Alec—"

"Have I told you how hot you look tonight?" His breath tickled the side of her neck. "You look amazing." He tugged her shirt out of her pants and slowly slid his hand underneath it. Merlin that felt good. Too good to stop. Suddenly Marlene was propped up on the counter, her jeans unbuttoned, kissing Sirius like it was the last time. She didn't care anymore who walked in.

"Tell me to stop," he taunted her, knowing damn well she never would. Her pants slipped slowly to her ankles. "Do you want me to stop?" He asked again, tugging at her lips. He moved further and further down, teasing her all the while, his head disappearing between Marlene's legs as she tingled with pleasure.

"Never," she said, barely breathing, "never stop."


Alice sipped from her cup slowly. Mary had prepared her a drink and while she'd assured Alice it was no more than 'Firewhiskey and some juice', she was certain there much more alcohol than juice in the mix. Alice was sitting on the grass, leaning into Frank, Lily beside her and Remus and Leila across from them.

She was doing her best to follow the conversation at hand but it was difficult when she was so utterly exhausted. It felt as though everything had been building up until today and now that it was over she had no idea what to do with herself. Return to training? Take care of her father? Run, far, far away?

"God I'm not ready to go back to school," Leila complained, throwing her head back in dismay. "Transfiguration homework, waking up early, my snoring roommates."

"If snoring bothers you you'll never last with Remus," Frank snickered. Remus gave him a stare that could kill.

"Honestly, I think I'm going to miss it," Lily admitted. "It feels like home now."

"I suppose you feel a little different, with only one year left." Leila was holding Remus' hand, stroking her thumb along the side of it. Remus smiled, the two of them unable to go more than a few seconds not touching. Alice remembered those days…

"Oi, looks like Peter is having a good night," Remus said, directing everyone's attention towards the edge of the woods where Peter was standing. Alice was happy at least one person was enjoying their evening.

"Go, Peter," Frank said proudly.

"I'm going to the loo," Alice announced, interrupting all the fun.

"Back at the house?" Lily gawked.

"Nah, I think I might just go into the bushes if I'm being honest," Alice said, nudging her head back towards the forest's edge. She doubted anyone would see her, not in this light as long as she was a few trees in. "I'll be back in a flash." She kissed Frank's cheek and rose, listening as the conversation turned towards everyone predictions for this year's house cup.

Alice could still hear the party but, from her spot behind a pine, could no longer see anything except for what was right in front of her. She turned to unbutton her pants when she heard a branch crack from a few feet away.

"Who's there?" Merlin, maybe she should've made the trek to the house…

"It's me." Alice couldn't see his face at first, the light from the end of his wand blinding her, but when he pointed it down she recognized the features and the voice. "Everett," he reminded her, "from the ice cream shop—"

"What are you doing here?" She was a little impressed, to be honest, with his persistence.

"I um…well…" he smiled nervously, "don't get upset or anything but I happened to be at the funeral. One of your friends told me about this and I…I just wanted to—"

"You showed up at my mother's funeral?" Alice stepped back. "Look, I don't know who you are or what kind of twisted game you're playing here but I am not interested—"

"We go to school together," he interrupted her. "You're a year above me, I'm in Ravenclaw." At least that was something. "Look, the flirting was all in good faith. I came today because I saw a posting in the paper and I wanted to pay my respects." Alice still didn't understand it.

"Why? We don't even know each other."

"Is it that unfathomable that I might, I don't know, like you?" Alice couldn't quite register the words. She hadn't been hit on, or flirted with, in a long time. Everyone in their year at Hogwarts was well aware that Frank and Alice were an item.

"Yeah, I mean, a little?"

"Because you have a boyfriend?"

"There's that, and the fact that we didn't know the other existed until a few weeks ago."

"Oh, I knew you existed." The arrogance had returned to his voice. Alice hated the fact that she could feel herself leaning in towards him, craving more. "Do you want me to go?" Everett asked. Alice knew what the right answer was.

"No." She had the kindest boyfriend just a few feet away, probably worrying about her that very moment, and she was entertaining some absolute random who, for all she knew, had been stalking her.

"No?" Everett moved closer to her, Alice could see the shadow of a grin on his face.

"But you should," she forced herself to say, "you should go."

"You're confusing, huh?"

"Look I…" Merlin, she'd come out for a wee and somehow landed in a movie scene. "I'm not thinking straight right now okay? And my boyfriend he—"

"Say no more," Everett silenced her. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Thank you." With a final nod, Everett turned and disappeared between the trees. Alice realized, as she listened to him walking away, that it was the first time all day she hadn't been thinking about her mother.


Lily had lost track of how much alcohol she'd drunk. Earlier in the night, she'd been keeping tabs, numbering off her drinks, but once she'd passed four things had grown a little fuzzy. She had been standing with a group of schoolmates, making bets on who would become head boy and girl this year, but after a while, as her glass began to empty, carrying on small talk became too difficult.

Lily was glad to be outside, the fresh air keeping her somewhat alert, but she decided it was time to cut herself off. Soon she'd be slurring her words and making heartfelt confessions that were better left unsaid. Slowly, Lily made her way across the Potter's backfield, separating herself from the party. She needed a moment of silence, a moment alone with her drunk, rambling thoughts.

There was a tree with a low hanging branch she found and, with some drunken courage, pulled herself up onto to sit. She dangled her feet, kicking her shoes off onto the grass, and leaned her head back to gaze up at the starry sky. Lily was a kind of happy to be attending the party solo. It wasn't that she didn't like going out with Fabian, he was always a good time, but sometimes, once one was in a relationship, it was difficult to be independent of the other person. It felt like suddenly Lily was always part of a pair, wherever she went.

"Alright, Evans?" Lily practically fell off the branch, her fingers digging into the bark to keep her balance. James was approaching, a drink in his hand.

"Fine," Lily replied, trying to keep her voice steady. She didn't want him to know how much he set her off. "Just…" she paused, taking a deep breath, "getting some fresh air."

"I don't want to alarm you or anything but you realize this party is outdoors?"

"I mean away from all the people," Lily explained. "It can be a little overwhelming."

James was standing right in front of her now. There was something about the look he gave her, one eyebrow slightly arched, the amusement on his face, which made Lily's stomach turn.

"Lily Evans," he said in faux shock, "are you drunk?"

Lily blushed. "Well…" she couldn't even deny it at this point, "maybe just a little."

"Scandalous."

"I do know how to have fun, you know? I just don't need to rub it in everyone's faces all the time."

"Is that what I do?" James asked, not sounding the least bit offended. "Well, you're just not having the right kind of fun I guess." Maybe he was right. Maybe that was why Lily had felt unsettled all summer, she needed desperately to let loose. She'd spent her whole life playing her cards close to her chest, trying hard to never step a toe out of line, throwing her all into her school work. What was the point? What was the point of any of it when at any given moment it could all be over?

"I never understood it," Lily blurted out, taking a risk she would most definitely regret in the morning.

"Understood what?"

"Why you liked me." She regretted the words the minute they left her mouth. Why had she said that? Why had she even been thinking about that? Things between her and James and only just settled and now she was about to send them up in flames once more. He stared at her, long and hard, making Lily wish she could turn away.

"We're just completely different," Lily blabbered on, "don't you think? You love to piss off and have a good time and I," she pointed towards her chest, "am a stick in the mud."

"You are not a stick in the mud."

"Oh please," Lily scoffed, "stick me next to any of my friends and I look like an absolute bore. I don't drink as much, don't party enough, I definitely don't do enough drugs." That earned a laugh. "No, I just go to bed early to make sure I get my seven hours of sleep before class and fall asleep next to my Potions homework."

"That's not how I see you," James told her, still smirking. Lily's heart began to race.

"How do you see me?" Lily challenged him.

"You're right, you're nothing like any of your friends," James admitted, "but you're also not like any girl I've ever met. You're in your own playing field, nothing like anyone else around you. You've got it all going for you Evans, you'll see that one day." Lily gulped back a lump in her throat. Christ, was she going to cry? Was James Potter actually going to bring her to tears? "Besides, you were the only girl who never had a problem telling me what a complete and utter wanker I was." Lily laughed.

Suddenly she was jumping down off her tree branch, landing steadily on her feet (a surprising feat for someone as drunk as she was). She was standing just a few feet away from James, neither daring to take their eyes off the other.

"That's all in the past now though," she couldn't believe what she was saying, "right?" James' eyes widened, he was just as surprised as she was, and he ran his hand through his messy hair.

"Is this a trick question?" She could tell he was getting nervous, the pitch in his voice rising. She liked it, still having that hold on him. Part of her had been afraid it was gone forever.

"No," Lily confessed, shaking her head.

"Does it matter? You're with Prewett aren't you?" She was. She was Fabian's girl and yet, here she stood, testing the waters, teasing James Potter of all people. It was all she'd been thinking about all summer and this moment - the two of them alone, standing so close together - felt like it had come straight out of one of her dreams. She wondered, suddenly, dangerously, what it might be like to take those two steps and kiss him, to feel James Potter's lips meet her own.

She was breathing heavily, her whole body wide-awake and pulling her towards the boy in front of her. She took the first step, barely able to believe it herself, still staring deeply into James' eyes. James didn't move. He stood perfectly still, like an unwavering building, just waiting to see what she did next. Lily didn't know how it happened, her hands pressing into his chest, feeling the beating of his heart, following the rise and fall of every breath. She was so close she could smell the cologne he was wearing; musky, scents of pine needles and citrus. Lily closed her eyes.

James reached out, tucking her hair behind her ear, running his fingers through the ends of it. "What the hell is going on?" He whispered to her.

"I don't know," Lily, confessed, eyes still closed, her face inches from his. When she opened her eyes James was staring at her as though he couldn't believe she was real. She couldn't think about anything but him. The whole world seemed to fade into the background as they stood there, touching in a way they never had before, behaving intimately. It was unreal.

"James, I…" she didn't know what to say, how to convey the feelings that had been toying with her for weeks, the feelings she had yet to tell anyone about. His hand cupped her face, thumb rubbing along her cheek. Lily wondered how long he'd wanted to do that, hold her, touch her, what else did he want to do to her? Part of her wanted so desperately to find out, the other certain she should turn and run away.

"Lily?" Some called out from the distance. Lily jumped away first, her face growing warm. "Lily? Merlin, did she go home?"

"No, I saw her walk this way!"

"Lily Katherine Evans you minx, where did you wander off to?" It was Mary's voice for sure, the other Peter's perhaps? Lily couldn't be sure. She looked up at James, who seemed just as startled as she was, perhaps more so considering how unexpected their moment had been.

"Lily," James' voice was hushed yet urgent. She couldn't blame him. He needed answers, an explanation as to where the hell this had all come from.

"Lily?" came Mary's voice again, closer this time.

"I'm coming!" Lily finally replied, "just having a wee! Give me a minute!" She didn't know how else to stall them.

"I'll write to you," she said, turning back to James, "before the summer's over we'll talk again, okay?" At that moment she meant it. She saw herself meeting James for coffee and confessing to the thoughts she'd been having for far too long. Some, romantic part of her imagined them figuring it out, strolling out of the coffee shop hand in hand, kissing. God, she so wanted to kiss him. Especially right now, looking at her like a deer in headlights, so earnest and well-meaning. She'd never wanted to kiss anyone so badly in her life.

"Promise?" James asked, grabbing her hand before she could run away.

"I promise."