Two Weeks Later

Mary was woken with a start. She gazed up at Emmeline from half-open eyes, grimacing.

"Not cool," she grumbled, turning onto her side. Mary was tired and hungover. Emmeline had convinced her to end their summer of freedom off with a bang and the two girls had ended up at a popular vampire bar, a hole in the wall, in Diagon Alley. The night was a blur of shots, dancing, and pale men.

"I can't get my trunk shut," Emmeline whined. Mary didn't budge. "Come on Mary, we've got an hour before we have to be at the station I need you to rally."

"Mary is dead," she mumbled into her pillow, "I am her much grumpier doppelgänger."

"Can the grumpy doppelgänger help me get my trunk shut?"

"Not bloody likely." Mary got a few seconds of peace before Emmeline began smacking her with a pillow, forcing her to throw off the blankets and emerge from bed.

"Bloody hell," Mary cursed, struggling to push the top of the trunk down so it could be locked. "How could you possibly need this much stuff?"

"Um, how could you possibly not?"

"Sit on top of it," Mary instructed. With the extra weight, she was able to get the buckles, although she hadn't a clue how Emmeline was going to get the trunk onto the train.

Mary's own trunk had been packed the night before and she'd laid out her clothes for the day – something comfortable for the train before she had to change into her robes.

"This is my way of saying thank you," Emmeline announced as Mary stepped into the kitchen, sliding into one of the stools at the kitchen island. Emmeline put a plate of pancakes in front of her, Mary's mouth turning up into a smile.

"Forgiven." Emmeline had shocked Mary with her cooking abilities early on. She'd always pictured her ordering a butler around her house, demanding meals when she was hungry. In reality, living alone so much meant that Emmeline was more independent than anyone else Mary knew.

"So" Emmeline leaned on the island, watching Mary eat, "I know it's a little early to be talking about the holidays…" Mary's stomach sank. She already knew what was coming next – Emmeline was going to break the news that she wouldn't be able to come back here over Christmas break. Mary had known their living arrangement was temporary, only for the summer really, but it had grown so comfortable she'd forgotten it would eventually come to an end.

"It's okay," Mary said before Emmeline could finish the rest of her sentence. "Really, you've already been so generous, I can't intrude any longer—"

"Mary, that's not what I'm saying. My parents want to go away for the holidays, they don't care much for the cold, but I told them I'd be staying here." Mary stared at her blankly. "With you."

"Me?" Mary couldn't remember the last time someone had made her feel so wanted. A few months ago she had barely known Emmeline Vance and now the girl was rejecting vacations to spend time with her. Mary felt guilty for all the times she'd rolled her eyes when Emmeline had entered a room or turned down Marlene's offers to hang out with the two of them. She'd always imagined Emmeline to be rather vain and without and she'd been proven totally and completely wrong.

"I hate missing Christmas in the city," Emmeline shrugged. "Besides, we can't miss the final Marauders New Year's party."

Mary's eyes fell. "I've never actually attended one…"

"What?"

"I've always spent the holidays at Hogwarts." Mary never wanted to go home for the holidays like the rest of her friends. She'd tried it in first year but it had only made her sad. While her siblings had been spoiled with presents, Bobby and her mother usually gave her one or two things. 'We didn't know if you'd be coming home,' her mother had shrugged that year, not an ounce of remorse, 'besides, how should we know what you'd want when you don't even live here anymore?'

"Mary, that is so lonely," Emmeline frowned. "That's awful."

"It's not so bad." It was definitely not Mary's favourite time of year. "It's kind of nice having the castle so quiet." It was nice for the first few days, after the rush of exams and pre-holiday jitters, but after a while, Mary got lonely and started wondering where her father was now and whether he ever thought about his children at this time of year…

"Look, you've been so kind to me Emmeline, really, I'm so happy that we've been able to become friends…"

"But?"

"But, I can't be the reason you turn down a vacation with your parents. Besides, I've got some money after working a few shifts at The Leaky Cauldron and Tom said he'd give me room and board over the holidays if I did some more work for him—"

"I am not letting you spend your break working in a dingy bar!" Emmeline insisted. "Besides, holidays with my parents are never much fun anyway. They usually end in tears." Emmeline mentioned her parents sparingly and Mary could see it was a sensitive topic for her. From the outside, it seemed she lived the perfect life, a whole apartment to herself, no parental supervision, money sent to her to spend however she liked, but in reality, it was much lonelier than anyone could imagine.

"Are you sure?" Mary didn't want Emmeline to feel obliged to have her stay. She didn't want to be the sad orphan passed around between her friends.

"Of course I'm sure. I don't know if you've noticed this yet, but I enjoy having you around as much as you enjoy having a roof over your head."

Mary smiled, shovelling some of the pancakes she'd forgotten about into her mouth. She may have lost her family but she'd gained a wonderful friend.


"MARLENE!" her mother howled up the stairs. "You're going to miss your train if you take any longer!"

Marlene finished her application of lip-gloss, tucking the tube into her back pocket before leaving her room. She always liked to look her best the first day back.

Her parents and brother were all waiting downstairs, watching as she used magic to levitate her trunk down beside Danny's.

"Took you long enough," Danny complained. He'd been irritable all morning. He was antsy to get to the train station to see the girl he'd been flirting with all summer. Marlene couldn't remember her name, only that she'd caught them on the couch, cuddling, when she'd come home a few days ago.

"Do you have everything?" They're father asked. "Books, robes, toothbrushes?"

"Yes dad," Marlene and Danny replied in unison.

"Okay missy," her mother stepped towards Marlene, fiddling with the collar on her shirt. "Just because it's your last year doesn't mean you can slag off your studies."

"I know mum."

"You need to do well on your N.E.W.T.S to get that job at the Prophet. Don't let James and Sirius convince you to do anything stupid."

"Come on now love," her father wrapped his arm around her mother, "we slagged off in seventh year and look at us." He was grinning but her mother didn't find it so funny.

"Yeah, well, Marlene isn't supposed to repeat our mistakes."

"Maybe I will just to really piss you off." She loved the look on her mother's face when she said that. Her father laughed and drew her mother in for a peck on the cheek. They'd been together since their sixth year at Hogwarts. He mother had always said she never wanted a husband or children; she'd dreamt of a dog and a quaint studio apartment in downtown London. Instead, she'd wound up with three children and a house in the countryside.

"Here," their father handed them a small pouch of change. "Buy yourselves something on the train."

"Thanks, dad," Danny said, snatching the pouch from his father's hand. Marlene already knew the money would be spent almost entirely on the girl Danny was so desperate to impress. Merlin she hated young love.

"Share with your sister," their father reminded him, Danny was hardly listening as he tucked the money away in his pocket. "And don't you get up to any trouble either. You know we're not afraid to send a Howler—"

"Yeah, yeah," Danny rolled his eyes.

Their parents gave them both one last hug before the two of them lugged their trunks out the door and Marlene apparated them to Kings Cross station. She listened to Danny's incessant talk of Jade, the girl he was crushing on, the whole walk through the station. Marlene was interested for about two minutes, but by the time she was running towards the brick wall that led to Platform 9 ¾, she was ready to get as far away from her brother as humanly possible.

The platform was crammed, as per usual, with families saying their goodbyes. Anxious first years looked up at their parents in terror, as though it would be the last time they ever saw them, schoolmates reunited, squealing as they ran into each other's arms from across the platform. Marlene moved through the sea of people, the steam from the train making everything around her appear foggy.

"Marlene!" Caroline Potter's voice broke through the crowd and there she was, off to the right end of the platform waving Marlene over.

"Your parents didn't come with you?" Caroline asked as she drew Marlene in for a hug.

"Danny wouldn't let them. He didn't want to seem uncool when he ran into Jade."

"Whose Jade?" asked James.

"Some Hufflepuff Danny won't shut up about."

"I cannot believe your brother is old enough to be looking cool for girls," Caroline sighed. "Seems like just yesterday he was racing to keep up with you guys…"

"She's very nostalgic today," James leaned over to whisper to Marlene.

"Did you hear the exciting news?" Alec changed the subject, "about James over here?"

"Our very own Head Boy," Marlene nodded, grinning from ear to ear. She hadn't been able to believe it when he told her, the letter shaking in his hands, but he had the badge to prove it.

"If I'm being completely honest I was certain Remus would get it."

"Me too," James agreed, not quite meeting anyone's eyes. Marlene had never seen him so modest.

"Well I think Albus made a great choice," Caroline said proudly. "I know you'll do an amazing job—"

"You have to say that," James groaned.

"I do not! There are many things I think you'd be terrible at, cooking for example." They all laughed.

"Wonder where he got that from," Alec mumbled. The train horn blew, reminding them all they had five minutes to get aboard.

"Please write us," Caroline said, taking James by the shoulders. "We miss you so much when you're away…"

"I'll write," James promised, not pulling away when his mother leaned in to kiss his forehead. Marlene knew how much he hated when she did that in public, specifically on a platform filled with classmates, but he hated even more to disappoint her. James was her whole world and he knew it.

"You too," she said, turning her sights on Sirius now, "I want daily updates so I know you aren't getting up to too much trouble."

"Yes, ma'am." Sirius didn't seem to mind when Caroline drew him into her arms. Sometimes she almost forgot Sirius came from a whole other family, one that would've never dropped him off on the platform with a warm hug. She could still see him sitting on the couch in the Potter's living room, his eyes filled with such pain…

The whistle blew again, a two-minute warning. They all said their final farewell and Sirius led the way onto the train, miraculously finding an empty compartment within the first train car. Their last year at Hogwarts, it hardly seemed real. Marlene had always known there'd be an end, sometimes she'd even wished it'd come sooner, but now all she felt was sad. Everything this year would be a last.

"Have you seen Lily yet?" Marlene was looking out the window, watching their slow depart from King's Cross station, when Sirius asked the question.

When Marlene looked over she saw James pretending to search for something in his book bag to avoid answering. "No," he replied dryly, Marlene and Sirius shared a look.

"Am I missing something? I thought you two were friends now?"

"We are."

"So why are you sulking every time someone mentions her name?"

"I'm not sulking," James, sighed, "I haven't seen her since the party, okay? I didn't get so much as a letter from her after we got our badges—"

"Did you write her?"

"No Padfoot, I did not write her."

"So you're mad because she didn't write to congratulate you?" Marlene would get to the bottom of this by the end of their train ride if it killed her. It'd been bugging her for the past two weeks, James' standoffish attitude every time Lily Evans was mentioned. She had been so sure everything was resolved after their time at the cottage and yet; here they were again, square one. The whole act was getting old.

"Maybe I just don't want to talk about Lily Evans?" James suggested, his voice dripping with irritation. The compartment door slid open, Remus and Peter stepping inside, saving James.

"Room for two more?" they asked, already knowing the answer.

"What've we missed?" Peter plopped down next to Marlene.

"James is pouting about Lily." Marlene ignored the nasty glare he sent her way.

"He's been pouting all week hasn't he?" Remus asked as he struggled to get his trunk into the rack above their heads.

"I'm still here you know!"

"He nearly choked when I mentioned to him that I'd run into Lily and Fabian in Diagon Alley while getting my books—"

"I did not!" James was too defensive to be believed.

"You might as well just fess up to whatever it is because we are never going to quit," Marlene told him. He knew it was true. They'd get to the bottom of it one way or another.

"I'd like to state firstly that you all suck." They didn't bat an eyelash. "Secondly, I'd like to make clear that I am totally and completely over this." Marlene could see the colour rising in James' face. "There was…a moment."

"A moment?" She leaned forward.

"At the party, two weeks ago—"

"Alice's party?" Sirius interjected.

"Yes. We…" James was staring down at his hands, "we almost kissed."

"WHAT?" Everyone in the compartment screamed at once. Marlene couldn't believe it. She couldn't. Lily and James…after all the time, all the hoping and the desperate attempts to woe her. They'd almost kissed two weeks ago and she was only finding out now.

"Who initiated it?"

"Her."

"How did it happen?" Marlene had about a hundred questions and she could see James was not keen to answer any of them.

"Look, I thought it might mean something but…it doesn't."

"Come on Prongs, we both know that's not true," Sirius tried to encourage him.

"It is, she's with Fabian and nothing is going to change that and I'm moving on. For good." Marlene didn't believe that for one second. "I've been seeing someone."

"Have I been on another planet the past two weeks? How the hell have you failed to mention all of this?"

"Because I knew you guys would freak out."

"That's insulting, we are totally cool," Sirius said, folding his arms against his chest.

"It's nothing serious just…casual. Fun."

Marlene felt stupid for not realizing it sooner, that something between James and Lily was off. She'd seen them both a handful of times since the party but never thought to ask why they both seemed to get so uncomfortable when the other was brought up. More than anything, she was hurt. Why hadn't they felt comfortable telling her? Why hadn't Lily felt comfortable telling her? How long had she been hiding these feelings, struggling with them in silence and never letting Marlene in? The whole thing was nearly impossible to wrap her head around.


Lily had drifted off, the side of her head vibrating against the window. Mary was sitting across from her, a book open in her lap.

"How long have I been out?"

"A little over an hour. This one passed out not long after you," Mary motioned towards Emmeline, curled into a ball on the opposite side of the compartment.

Lily had barely slept a wink the night before. She'd been tossing and turning, all too aware that she would be forced to face the music in the morning and see James Potter. The very thought made her stomach turn. He was somewhere on this train…

The door slid open and Alice stepped inside, smiling meekly. "I've been searching for you guys."

"Come here you." Mary lifted up her arm and Alice slid onto the seat beside her, curling into Mary's side. If there was anyone who looked more tired than Lily it was Alice. The circles under her eyes seemed to grow darker every time she saw her. Lily remembered what it was like after her father's death when she would wake from dreams of him, nightmares sometimes.

"Have you run into the Head Boy yet?"

"No," Lily answered, swallowing back a lump in her throat. She'd made James a promise and she'd broken it. Worse than that, she'd led him on. Lily knew it was no excuse, being drunk, but she'd woken up in the morning sick with guilt and she hadn't been able to do anything but spend the past two weeks with Fabian.

"I still can't believe it," Mary chuckled, "James and Lily…"

"He is at the top of our class."

"He's also had more detentions than anyone else in our year," Lily reminded her friends.

"You two are friends now though, aren't you?" Alice's question was harmless and yet it sent Lily's stomach into knots. Yeah, they had been friends, until Lily had gotten too drunk and possibly ruined it all.

"Yeah," she nodded, working to keep her voice steady, "water under the bridge."

Lily had written James a thousand letters. She'd poured her feelings out onto page after page until her hand ached from all the writing. She'd realized, after a day or two of this, that it was a mistake, saying any more than she already had. Sure, James infatuated her now but what about a month from now? What about when the allure had worn off? Was there anything there but a spark?

"Where's Frank?" Mary asked Alice as she sat up straight.

"With the twins actually. Gideon brought his chessboard and they're deep into a game. Have you seen Fabian yet Lil?" Just another thing for Lily to feel guilty about…

"No," she confessed, "not today."

She'd arrived at Kings Cross alone and, thankfully, run into Mary and Emmeline on the platform. She'd seen James and his parents near the far wall but she'd done her best to keep her head down and look away. She would avoid James until the last possible minute, which was nearer than Lily would have liked.

"So this is where the party is at?" Marlene asked as she slid open the compartment door. Emmeline stirred, stretching her legs out as she came to.

"How long do we have left?" she asked, stretching her arms above her head.

"Don't even bother asking until the sun has set," Mary told her.

Marlene slid into the seat beside Lily.

"Nervous?" she asked only loud enough for Lily to hear.

"Yes." It was the first honest answer she'd given all day. Luckily though, the trolley came by.

"Come on, treacle tarts on me," Marlene said, giving Lily's knee a comforting squeeze.

X

There was one compartment on the train, larger than the others, reserved each year for the prefects to meet. It allowed the head boy and girl of the year to introduce themselves and ensured the prefects were aware of their duties with first years once they arrived at Hogwarts. Lily had dreamt many times over the years of walking into this compartment first, a head girl badge pinned to her chest. She just hadn't expected James to be the one working beside her…

She sat down, staring at the notes in her hands. Her eyes refused to focus. She knew, at any moment, James would slide the door open and step inside. Would he be angry? Would he refuse to meet her glance? Is that how they'd spend the rest of the year, icy exchanges and averted gazes?

Lily looked up when she heard the door, James standing there in his Hogwarts robes, his badge pinned to his chest. He looked good, Lily thought to herself, his hair was less messy than usual.

"Are you surprised?" He asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"No," she tucked her hair behind her ears, giving her hands something to do, "it's well deserved."

"I'm sure there are many who would beg to differ." James took the seat across from her, hands clasped in his lap. "Well then, have you made a list?"

"No," Lily lied, folding her list up and shoving it into the pocket of her robes, "they're just, some…talking points."

"Well then, out with them Evans." He was behaving as though nothing had happened, as if that whole night had been a dream. Had it? Had Lily made it all up in her head and tortured herself over nothing for the past two weeks?

"Just, some reminders about the protocol for the first year tours and a date, for our first official meeting."

"Sounds good."

Lily nodded, struggling to keep her composure. There were a million things she wanted to say, starting with an apology, but nothing seemed to be rolling off of her tongue.

"James, I—"

"Looks like we have our first arrival," James said, rising from his seat as the compartment door swung open.

Lily recognized most of the people filing into the compartment, sitting along the two rows of seats. Many of them congratulated her on getting head girl and stared at James like a fish out of water. Remus took the seat beside James and Severus came in last, grimacing in their direction before taking the seat furthest away. Lily did her best to pretend he wasn't there.

James let her do most of the talking, jumping in only when she turned to him for some extra support. The meeting took all of twenty minutes but by the end of it, Lily felt as though she'd been speaking to the group for over an hour. Everyone cleared out quickly, anxious to get back to their friends, but James and Remus hung back.

"James," Lily stole her chance before the two of them left, "could we speak?"

"I'll meet you back at the compartment mate," Remus said, sliding the door shut behind him.

James wouldn't quite look at her, his head bowed, and Lily knew without any words how much she'd hurt him.

"I meant to write," she blurted out, her voice shaking. "I wasn't lying when I said that."

"It's fine," James, replied, "lets please just pretend like it never happened."

"I don't want to pretend." Lily knew it was the wrong thing to say. She was meant to agree and never think about that night again, but she couldn't. She couldn't get the smell of his cologne out of her mind, or the how good it had felt standing so close to him.

James looked up, confusion racing across his face. Lily didn't get a chance to go any further.

"Hey, you." A girl, a beautiful girl, slipped into the compartment, smiling up at James. Lily recognized her only vaguely as someone she'd seen moving through the hallways or eating in the great hall. She had long, silky dark hair and deep brown eyes that swallowed you whole.

"Lily, um, this is Sarah," James introduced them awkwardly. Lily didn't want to speak, too afraid that she'd start to cry. She shook Sarah's hand and gave her the best smile she could muster through the humiliation she was feeling inside.

"I love your hair," Sarah said, "I always wanted red hair as a little girl, but," she curled a piece of brown hair around her finger, "not a chance."

"It's not all that great," Lily managed, her voice cracking. "Trust me."

Sarah looped her arm around James'. They left the compartment after that, grinning at each other as they disappeared down the train. Lily waited until she was certain they were gone and dropped down into the seat nearest the window, her eyes welling up.


Alice stepped onto the platform in Hogsmeade with a grumbling stomach. She was starving; her thoughts consumed with images of the welcome back feast the house elves were preparing that very minute. Alice let the rest of the girls go on ahead and catch a carriage up to the castle, waiting in her usual spot for Frank. They also rode up together.

This would be the first year Alice didn't write her mother immediately to fill her in on the latest comings and goings at Hogwarts. She could write her father but Alice doubted she'd receive a response. He'd still been in bed when she'd come in to say goodbye that morning and he'd barely opened his eyes.

Alice hadn't quite prepared herself to come back to school and be 'the girl whose mother just died.' It felt awful knowing what people thought every time they looked at her. They were waiting for her to crack under all the pressure and she wasn't quite sure she wouldn't.

"Alice Griffith." Alice looked over her shoulder, half expecting Frank. Everett smirked at her. "Waiting for me?"

"Not likely." Alice turned her head away, hoping he might take the hint and disappear. Under no circumstances did she want Everett and Frank to cross paths.

"Can I ride up to the castle with you?"

"No."

"Can I stand here with you?"

"No."

"For just one minute," he persisted. Alice gave up. One minute wouldn't kill her.

"Has it lost its charm for you yet?" Everett asked.

"What?"

"All of this," he clarified, motioning around them, "this bubble we live in." It had. It had lost its allure the minute Alice realized how fragile everything outside of Hogwarts was. Her mother had gone to work one day and never come home and she wasn't the first or the last. At least five more people from the ministry had gone missing since but their bodies had yet to be located. How could Alice still relish in her time at Hogwarts when she knew there were people out there fighting for their lives?

"I remember what it was like," Everett went on, "after my mother died." Alice looked up, aghast. She hadn't known Everett had lost his mother… "Everything is…tainted." What made this guy so, incredibly intriguing? Alice knew he wasn't any good, she knew it was wrong to even entertain him, but she couldn't help it. He felt like a breath of fresh air in the midst of all her grief.

"Al?" Alice looked behind her in horror. It was Frank who called her name, trunk in hand, eyes shifting from her to Everett suspiciously.

"Ah, the famous boyfriend," Everett smirked before Alice could get out a word. She was going to be sick. She was going to puke all over Everett's bloody shoes just to make him pay for all of the turmoil he'd caused.

"Who're you?" Frank stepped forward, sceptical as ever.

"Everett Jenkins," he stuck his hand out, Frank hesitating before accepting it.

"Frank Longbottom"

"Oh I know your name, Alice talks about you constantly." Frank turned to Alice with a look that read clearly: who the hell is this guy? She had no idea what to say but she felt an overwhelming sense of guilt. Everett must have picked up on the tension because he added, "Alice and I met in Diagon Alley when she nearly tripped and fell flat on her face and I saved her." That didn't ease the look on Frank's face. Alice's stomach flipped.

"Sounds like her," Frank was watching her closely and Alice was doing her best not to let the anxiety she felt show on her face.

"We should go," she said, looking at Frank, "don't want to get stuck sitting with all the first years at the welcome back feast."

Frank nodded. "Will you be riding up with us, Everett?"

"I'm sure Everett has his own friends he's waiting for," Alice insisted, desperate to part ways. She couldn't stand the three of them being together for any longer than the two minutes they'd already endured.

"You know, I think they may have left me." Alice wanted to punch him in his smug face. "Would you mind?" Yes, she thought, very much.

"Not a problem." Frank wrapped his arm around Alice's waist as they began to walk up the hill towards the carriages. She realized, as the three of them strode along in silence, that she'd never actually seen Frank jealous before. There'd never been any competition when it came to him; Alice had been head over heels from the age of eleven.

"What house are you in then?" Frank asked Everett as they all climbed into their carriage. Alice and Frank sat side by side on one end, Everett across from them on the other. It was going to be the longest carriage ride Alice had ever taken.

"Ravenclaw, sixth year."

"Mm." Frank was watching Everett like a hawk, studying him, assessing his character.

"I'm surprised Alice here didn't end up in Ravenclaw," Everett said, "she's sure got the wit for it." If Frank hadn't been able to see, Alice would've kicked him.

"Seems like you two know each other quite well?"

"No," Alice blurted out a little too defensively, "we've just…run into each other a few times." Frank didn't look wholly convinced.

"I mean, how well could we really know each other when you two are practically attached at the hip?" Was Everett trying to piss her boyfriend off? Did he want to be punched in the face? Alice could see the colour rising in Frank's neck. He was not an angry guy. It took a lot to tick him off but Alice could see Everett was succeeding.

"Do you think there'll be roast beef?" Alice tried desperately to change the subject. She took Frank's hand in hers. "I hope there's roast beef…"

"I thought you looked familiar," Frank said quietly, almost to himself. Everett's eyebrows rose. "Stevie Anderson." The name meant nothing to Alice but the change in Everett's expression made it clear he recognized it.

"What about him?"

"You humiliated him."

"Who is Stevie Anderson?" Alice hated being in the dark.

"That's not quite what happened," Everett replied coolly.

"You pantsed him in front of half the school." Now Frank was really getting red, his eyes narrowing on Everett.

"I think you're being a bit dramatic there, mate."

"I think you're a prick." Alice's eyes widened. She wanted to go back in time and never run into Everett at all. She could've had a nice, relaxing ride up to the castle with Frank. Perhaps they would have cuddled to stay warm. Merlin, she'd made a mess of her night, hadn't she?

"Takes one to know one I suppose," Everett replied smoothly. Alice tightened her grip on Frank's hand.

"Okay, lets all just calm down." Neither guy looked ready to back down. "This is ridiculous, Frank," he wasn't looking at her, his eyes set on Everett in an icy glare, "Frank!" He turned. "He's not worth it." She heard Everett snicker across from them.

She was shocked by the harshness of his stare. He'd never looked at her like that. She didn't know any version of Frank except the sweet, caring guy who liked when he got to be the little spoon and brought her chicken noodle soup in bed when she was sick. The carriage came to a halt and Everett swung the door open, pausing before he jumped out.

"I'll see you around Alice," he winked, leaving before Frank could get his hands on him. Frank jumped out after him, stomping through the courtyard towards the castle.

"Frank!" Alice tried to keep her voice down, not wanting to draw any attention to them. She was already the girl with the dead mother; she didn't want to be the one with boyfriend problems too. "Frank!" She caught up to him, grabbing onto his arm. They moved away from the crowd, standing behind a large pillar to get some privacy.

"Is there something going on between you two?" He demanded. Alice's mouth fell open.

"What?"

"Is there?" He snapped at her.

"No," she shook her head, "no, of course not Frank, how could you even ask that?"

"Because he's an asshole!" Frank bellowed, "and he's talking to you like there's something going on between you. I don't enjoy feeling like an idiot."

"Frank…"

"It's not fair to me." His expression turned from one of anger to hurt. "I don't deserve it."

"I know," Alice nodded, looking down at her feet. The last thing she ever wanted to do was hurt Frank. He'd been a rock through everything and how had she repaid him? Flirting with some sleazy guy she'd met in an ice cream shop. God, she was an awful person.

"I'm sorry," she apologized, her eyes filling with tears, "there's nothing going on between us." She looked up at Frank. "I promise."

"Promise me you'll stop speaking to him." It was an easy promise to make, a promise Alice knew she should make. Everett was a dick, he'd proven that more than once, and he'd been completely disrespectful to her boyfriend. Alice should've wanted to never speak to him again.

"Okay," she agreed, swallowing back the lump in her throat. Frank stepped forward, using his thumb to wipe a stray tear away from under her eye.

"Let's forget about this okay?" Alice wanted nothing more.

"Yes," she wrapped her arms around him.


Lily pushed around her food with disinterest. She'd lost her appetite when she'd stared down the table and saw Sarah cross the Great Hall to visit James and kiss him. After watching that, the way her hand pressed into his chest, the same way Lily's had…well; she'd felt anything but hungry.

"Was Charlie always that cute?" Marlene asked, gazing down the table.

"Charlie who?" Mary's head perked up.

"Goodman," Marlene was licking her lips. Lily didn't even bother looking, certain she'd catch another glimpse of James and Sarah making out if she did.

"If I haven't shagged him by the end of this year…"

Mary snorted. "Good luck with that."

"Why?"

"You do realize he's still a virgin don't you?"

"Nothing wrong with that," Emmeline smirked.

"I'm just saying," Mary shrugged, "it's never going to happen."

"I'm hurt by your lack of confidence in me," Marlene frowned.

"I've known you long enough to know you are the most impatient person," Marlene couldn't argue with that, "and there's no way you'll be willing to put in the work."

"Party pooper," Marlene grumbled, only half-seriously, returning to her plate of food. Lily heard laughter and foolishly let her eyes wander back to James, grinning at something Sirius had said. She could feel herself growing warmer as she turned away, thinking about that night once more, his breath warm against her face..sweat dripped down her back as she remembered watching him leave that compartment with Sarah.

"I'll be back," Lily announced, rising from the table abruptly. She didn't leave any time for her friends to ask questions as she strode as quickly as she could out of the Great Hall. She kept her eyes firmly planted forward as she passed the Marauders, not looking to see if James noticed her.

It was dark out as the doors to the courtyard spread open for her. At least outside it was quiet. She couldn't handle all the noise, not when all she wanted was to crawl into her bed and cry. What had she expected? She and James would reunite and finish what they'd started? God, she could be so daft.

Lily paced around the courtyard once before dropping onto one of the benches, her arms wrapped around herself. Not only did she feel foolish, she felt guilty too, because Fabian was inside right now, probably wondering what had happened to make her practically run from dinner. Lily could hardly understand it herself. Hadn't she chosen to put an end to things with James? Hadn't she decided to spend those two weeks attached to Fabian because she had chosen him?

She dropped her head into her hands and closed her eyes. Things had been easier at home when James had been tucked away in his beautiful mansion and Lily had never been forced to run into him or, god forbid, see him kissing other girls. Who was Sarah anyway and why was she so damn adorable?

"Lil?" Lily jumped, Marlene, standing in front of her. "Are you okay?" Lily nodded, although she knew that she must've looked a fright. Marlene sat down on the bench beside her, exhaling deeply.

"I'm just going to spit it out," she said, Lily's stomach dropping. "You like James." It wasn't even a question, just a statement of fact. She knew, without Lily saying anything, what was going on. Lily's lack of denial was confirmation enough for Marlene.

"Fuck," it was all she said as she leaned back.

"Yeah," Lily agreed. It felt good, to finally have her best friend understand, but it was also terrifying. Now that said admitted it she couldn't take it back, she couldn't hide from the feelings and pretend everything was perfectly fine with Fabian. Something was off, it had been for a while, and Lily knew that.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Marlene was the least emotional of the group, she never even cried, but Lily could tell this omission had hurt her.

"I've barely told myself." Lily's voice cracked as she said it. She still hadn't quite accepted it. How could she, when she'd ruined her chances? "Mar I'm freaking out," Lily confessed, on the verge of tears. She'd been holding it in for so long, doing her best to pretend nothing had changed.

"Hey," Marlene put her arm around Lily and pulled her into her side. She didn't say anything, just stroking Lily's hair slowly with a maternal touch. It was a gesture that reminded Lily so much of her own mother, holding her after a nightmare as a little girl, twirling Lily's long red hair around her finger. "We'll just take it one day at a time okay?"

"Okay," Lily snuffled, wiping away the tears.

"But no more secrets," Lily looked up, mustering a weak smile. God, she'd been so stupid to block out Marlene. She always knew what to say. Lily had been so sure she'd take James' side, chastise her for rejecting him for so long, but that had never been Marlene. She'd never had a side.

"No more secrets," Lily agreed. She sat up suddenly, her smile vanished, "just, don't tell James, okay?"

"Of course not. Besides, he'd overreact, probably end things with Sarah right away and expect you two to run off into the sunset together." Marlene rolled her eyes, "he's so impulsive."

"You…" Lily's heart was racing, "you still think I have a chance?"

"Oh honey," Marlene, said, shaking her head like Lily was an absolute idiot, "you will always have a chance with him." Lily didn't know whether to feel excited or terrified. She chose both.