James felt like he was dreaming. Nothing felt real, not since he'd found Lily near the entrance to the Dungeons, tears streaming down her face. He'd grown hot with rage, imagining the smug faces of her attackers. He could rip Avery's head off his body for what he'd done to Lily…

None of that seemed to matter now though. Now they were standing in the Prefects office, alone. The lights were out, neither James nor Lily concerned with the darkness of the room. The only thing James could focus on was the girl in front of him, with the fiery red hair and piercing gaze.

He was in awe of her. He had always been in awe of her, but seeing her walk away with her head held high after everything she'd been through that night reminded James of her bravery. All he wanted to do was hold her in his arms and take away all the pain bottled up inside of her.

She had her back turned to him, her long red hair hanging down it. He wanted to reach out and grab a handful of it, to run it through his fingers like water. He wanted to hold her so close he could smell her on him when they parted. James stepped forward, his body alive, buzzing with electricity the closer he and Lily got.

"James I—" she swung around, her face changing when she saw realized close he was. She didn't step back though. She stayed still, not even moving when James reached out and took her by the waist.

"Can I kiss you?" He couldn't help himself any longer, not when she was looking at him like that. Lily Evans was not recoiling from him with disgust. Perhaps that party had been more than a lucky accident…

"Yes." There was not a shadow of doubt in her answer. He pulled her in close to him, ready to press his lips to hers.

"Ouch!" Lily flinched, James releasing her immediately.

"Sorry…I think I may have a few bruises…" She looked away, as though embarrassed by the fact. He should've come looking for her earlier. He should have trusted his gut, maybe he could've prevented the whole damn thing.

"Did they kick you?" James asked, struggling to contain his rage. He could see red. He wanted to fight Orval Avery with his bare hands. What an outrage that would be - the Averys and his parents in an office together with Albus Dumbledore of all people. It was an event James would pay to see.

"I don't want to talk about that." Lily was staring at his lips as she spoke, "not right now…" stepped towards him, reaching up to run her hand along his smooth cheek. Merlin, her eyes were beautiful. He couldn't believe they were real. If he had any talent for art he would've painted them and put them on display in the finest gallery.

"What?" Lily giggled nervously. She'd noticed him staring. That was embarrassing.

"You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen."

Her lips pressed against his after that in full force. James thought he knew what kissing was supposed to feel like but he hadn't. Not until he felt Lily's lips move against his, her tongue slowly sliding into his mouth. Not until he'd felt the explosion of fireworks in his chest as her fingers curled at the nape of his neck. He could've done it for hours, standing there with her, his heart beating against her chest. This was all he'd ever wanted. He'd dreamt of this moment over and over a thousand times.

It was Lily who pulled him over to the table in the middle of the room. She pulled herself up onto the top of it, their lips not parting once, and wrapped her legs around his hips. She pulled him in between her with great force like she needed him. Perhaps she did, as much as he felt he needed her.

The things James wanted to do to her…for starters, he was sick of all the clothes between them. He pulled off her robe, and then his own, letting them tumble to their feet. Lily helped him as he fumbled with the buttons on her shirt, both breathing heavily. He wanted to feel every part of her. He wanted her against him, beside him, with him always. How had he gone so long without her?

They heard a pair of footsteps echoing from behind the office door and tore apart. Lily's eyes were filled with fear and she moved instinctively to rebutton her shirt, James stepping aside to catch his breath. It was over as quickly as it had happened, Lily jumping down to gather her things.

"Lily," he said, watching as she threw her robe back over her shoulders as though nothing had happened. "What does this mean?"

"What does it mean?" He could see she was beginning to panic. Reality had crashed back down around them and with it came complications, namely, other partners James and Lily were tied to. "I don't…"

Part of him wanted to force her to answer the question. He deserved to know what it was she wanted and whether that was him. James would've chosen her in a heartbeat but then again, he had always been three steps ahead.

"It's fine." He reached for her hand, squeezing it, memorizing the flutter in his stomach every time he touched her. "Let's just get you to bed and we can pretend this whole night never happened, okay?"

Lily didn't answer. She stared up at him in awe, blinking rapidly. He knew she was confused. She didn't want to betray Fabian, the guy she'd been with for nearly a year, by choosing James. Yet, James could see it, somewhere there in her eyes, the desire to stay there in that room together. The same desire he had as he realized that once they left they might never share another moment like this again.

They didn't talk the rest of the way up to the portrait hole. They must've looked quite frightful as the Fat Lady barely said a word, swinging open on cue when James gave her the password. The common room was empty, the fire long since burnt out. It was dimly lit and silent, in stark contrast to the bustling energy it'd been filled with when James had left.

"Will you be okay?" James asked Lily. They were standing still, her a step ahead of him, neither saying a word nor shifting a foot. "Should I wake Fabian?"

Lily turned around, red hair slipping off her shoulder. Her eyes were brimming with tears.

"I'm sorry," she apologized, snuffling. "It was unfair of me—"

"It takes two, Evans." Lily's eyes fell. "Hey, it's fine," he reassured her. "One night is more than I ever thought I'd get with you."

"This whole time," Lily shook her head in disbelief, "you've still…?"

"You make it sound so pathetic," James laughed nervously. He'd kept his feelings for Lily more or less to himself after the disaster that was their fifth year. James had kept his head down and been nothing but cordial with her for the next year and it had, unexpectedly, allowed a friendship to flourish. He'd had never dreamt of getting more than that.

"It's not pathetic," Lily assured him, "it's…very flattering James. I don't deserve it—"

"That really makes it sound pathetic." James had a sudden urge to bolt past Lily up the stairs and never think about this moment ever again.

"It's not pathetic," Lily reaffirmed, stepping closer. "It makes me feel…" Her cheeks grew rosy and she turned her head away, cracking a nervous smile. "It makes me feel special." Her green eyes flickered back towards him and James struggled not to pull her in for another kiss.

"Well, you are special, Lily."

"You're just saying that to get into my pants now."

James laughed. "I mean it. I am in constant awe of you. You're incredibly brave and probably one of the strongest people I know."

"I don't know if that's true…"

"It is," James insisted. "Believe me, I've had lots of time to notice." She bowed her head, red hair tumbling forth to cover her face. James ignored his better judgment and stepped forward, tucking the hair behind her ear for her. Lily stared up at him, gulping. There was still so much left unsaid between them.

"Goodnight Lily," James said softly, a smile tugging at his lips.

"Goodnight James." They walked up the stairs together, turning in different directions. James knew, as he glanced back to watch Lily walk away – disappearing around the stairs to the girl's dormitories, that this was a night he would never forget.


Sirius wiped soot from his pants as he stepped through the fireplace into his uncle's home. There was a woman, sitting on the couch with a newspaper between her hands, who looked up in shock at the new arrival.

"Are you Sirius?" she asked. Alphard had been talking about him apparently.

"Yes." Sirius had never seen his uncle's home. He looked around the living room he had landed in, eyes grazing over the grand piano in the corner and the large pieces of rather expensive looking art that hung up on the walls. His uncle had clearly escaped the family with more money in his pockets than Sirius had.

"He's been waiting for you," the woman said, rising from the couch. She had a perm and large, clear glasses that magnified her eyes.

"I'm Genevieve," she extended her hand to shake, "I'm Alphard's nurse."

"I'm his nephew," Sirius replied.

"Oh, I know." Genevieve smiled, her eyes twinkling. "He's been talking about you non stop for days. I finally got him to write that letter to put an end to it. He'll be happy you've come."

Sirius' stomach clenched. Had Alphard really been waiting for him? He realized, as he followed Genevieve down the long, dimly lit hallway, that perhaps he was the only family Alphard had left. Not everyone was lucky enough to find a replacement family like the Potters. When Sirius had run away from home he'd known that Carline and Alec would look out for him, they were already more parents to him than his own had ever been, but what about Alphard? Had he ever had that safety net?

Genevieve paused before a door at the end of the hallway, left slightly ajar.

"Alph?" she said, knocking lightly. "Are you awake?"

"Yes," a husky voice came from inside. "What is it?"

"You have a guest." She pushed open the door so that Alphard might get a clear view of his nephew standing just behind her. Alphard's bedroom looked as though it had once been an office – a library perhaps - but had been converted, rather quickly, into a bedroom. Sirius realized, as he stepped gingerly inside, that it was probably due to his uncle's deteriorating state.

There was a large, comfortable looking bed in the centre of the room where Alphard lay, propped up on a mountain of pillows. He smiled warmly at Sirius as he stepped into the room, which stunk of smoke, from the fireplace in the corner he presumed, and herbs.

"I didn't think you'd show."

"I didn't expect your letter," Sirius told him, arms crossed awkwardly as he stood a few feet away from the bed. He hadn't a clue what came next.

"Can I get you anything, love? A tea maybe?" Genevieve offered.

"No thank you." Sirius didn't plan to stay long enough to wait for and finish a cup of tea. In an ideal world he'd be out within five minutes.

"Alph? How're you feeling? Do you need more—"

"I'm fine," the old man sighed, clearly tired of his hovering nurse. "I'd just like to speak to my nephew alone for a moment."

"Of course," Genevieve conceded without complaint. She turned around and pulled the door shut behind her, leaving Sirius and Alphard alone.

"I assumed you wouldn't come," Alphard confessed.

"Why's that?"

"You're still a Black after all," he smiled, "not a particularly sentimental bunch are we?" Sirius couldn't help but scowl when someone suggested he had any connection left to his family.

"Come, sit." Alphard patted the spot beside him on the bed, forcing Sirius to move closer. He settled, shifting uncomfortably beside him. His uncle's hair was thinning, nearly all fallen out, and there were dark circles beneath his eyes. Sirius wondered how much sleep he was managing these days.

"How is school?" His uncle asked casually, as though he had not beckoned Sirius to his bedside for a final farewell.

"Good, the semester has only begun so how bad could it really be?"

"Oh, you'd be surprised," his uncle smirked, "we managed to get into all kinds of trouble our first week back in my day."

"Is that so?" Perhaps he had more in common with his uncle than he realized.

"Oh yes. I had my fair share of detentions, sure did. Mostly for getting in fights with my classmates," Alphard continued. "I was a Slytherin you see. Never fit in very well with that lot though. I always thought that the Sorting Hat must've made a mistake." Sirius sometimes had similar thoughts…although he'd always wondered whether the hat had mistakenly placed him in Gryffindor rather than Slytherin. How different his life might've been had he not started off his time at school with disappointing his parents.

"I'm sure you're wondering why I've asked you here," Alphard continued. "You probably don't even remember the last time you saw me—"

"I do," Sirius shook his head. "You gave me a toy broomstick. It was the best Christmas gift I ever received in that house."

"I thought it might be. My sister was never particularly good at spreading cheer."

"You're telling me," Sirius grumbled. Alphard began to laugh, a deep, rough rumble that seemed to come right from his belly, before he broke into a coughing fit, hand pressed against his chest. Sirius panicked for a moment that he was choking, praying Genevieve came rushing back into the room, but it passed, and Alphard relaxed.

"Are you still living with the Potters?" Alphard asked. He reached for the handkerchief beside him and Sirius caught sight of the stains of dried blood spotting it.

"Yes."

"Does your mother know that they've taken you in?"

"Regulus has probably told them by now," Sirius shrugged. Alphard's eyes lit up with excitement.

"That'll drive her mad."

"You think?" Sirius liked the idea that his mother still cared enough to be "driven mad" over whom he lived with.

"Of course. They're some of the worst blood traitors around, although not quite as bad as us." He winked at Sirius. "Us, outlaws." There was a kinship between them. Sirius could see himself in his uncle; the same piercing grey eyes, the same smile. He realized, sitting there, watching his uncle struggle to gather his breath, that perhaps he should've made more of an effort to get to know the only other family member he could truly understand.

"I've asked you here today because I see so much of myself in you Sirius." Sirius struggled to keep his composure, his hands trembling in his lap. "I was a young boy once, just like you, who could never quite force myself to fit the mould my parents had set for me. I just wish I'd had the guts to get out as soon as you did."

"It wasn't brave," Sirius promised his uncle, "I knew I had somewhere to go."

"You are incredibly brave Sirius," Alphard spoke with such conviction it was difficult not to believe every word he said. "Take it from an old man who knows better, your last name does not define who you are as a person."

Merlin. Sirius was blinking back tears, struggling to stay as strong as he'd promised himself he'd be. He wasn't going to cry over a man he barely knew…

"You know that by now, don't you, boy?" Alphard gripped his hand weakly – although Sirius was sure it was with as much strength as a dying man could muster. "You are worth so much more than the lot of them."

"So are you," Sirius told his uncle, gulping back the lump in his throat.

They sat there for another hour. Alph shared a few interesting tales from his travels throughout the sixties and Sirius gave him the inside scoop on some of the Marauder's best pranks. By the time he left the fire in the corner was fizzling out and Alph's eyes were sliding shut, sleep taking him over.

Sirius left him like that, tiptoeing back out into the living room where Genevieve sat, knitting while she hummed along to the radio.

"He's asleep," Sirius announced, standing at the other end of the room.

"Will you be staying the night? I can make you up a bed—"

"No," Sirius insisted. "No, I've got to get back to school." He felt suffocated just standing in that room, imaging his uncle down the hall, dying.

"He doesn't have much longer," Genevieve stated bluntly. "If you leave now you might not see him again."

"I know." She was going to think he was heartless, abandoning his family at a time like this. Sirius had never been one to stick around when the going got tough. He ran – it was what he did best. It meant he never got hurt, not if he could help it.

He could feel Genevieve's eyes burning into the back of his head as he stepped towards the fireplace to leave, abandoning Alphard in his time of need.


James was over thirty minutes late for Quidditch practice. This might have been okay if he were just a chaser but, as team captain, it meant everyone had trudged out onto the field at the crack of dawn for nothing. Marlene watched the hill leading up to the castle closely. She knew it wasn't like James to be late, especially not for Quidditch. He was a perfectionist and that meant their team had to do their absolute best this year. Being late was not a part of that equation.

"Any insight into the whereabouts of our captain?" Marlene was surprised to find Gideon Prewett at her shoulder. The two hadn't been alone since their disaster of a double date and Marlene had been avoiding running into him ever since.

"No," she shook her head. "It's not like him."

"He's usually the one telling us off for being late."

Marlene could feel the team growing restless. Part of her wanted to run back up to the castle and search for James, the other half was irritated at the thought that he might have simply overslept.

"Are you worried?" Marlene had almost forgotten Gideon was standing there. How could he possibly still be nice to her after what she'd done?

"A little."

"Maybe he's snuck off with that new bird of his." Marlene would really rip his head off if he was late because of a girl.

"Hey um…" she derailed the conversation. "I think I owe you an apology."

"Oh please—"

"I was a total bitch."

"You were fine," Gideon assured her, too proud to accept her apology and admit he'd been hurt. Marlene had received his owl afterwards, asking her to meet up again, and she'd ignored it. Well, that wasn't entirely true. She'd promised herself that she would reply – with a date and time – but she'd forgotten. By the time she remembered it was much too late.

"Do you hate me?"

"Marlene," Gideon smiled anxiously. "You don't need to apologize. Seriously. It wasn't a big deal." When the expression on her face didn't change he added, "let's go back to just being mates, okay?"

"Okay." She could live with that.

They were just getting to discussing their theories on James' absence when his voice carried across the field.

"I'M SORRY!" He shouted as he ran, gasping for air. "I missed my alarm!"

There were some grumbles at first – a few of the players had just been about to leave – but James got everybody up on their broomsticks soon enough. They had a flawless practice and the only one who didn't seem to have their head in the game was James. He barely participated – despite Marlene knowing very well his great love for the game – and he let them all free after only half an hour on the pitch.

"Okay, what is going on?" Marlene demanded once the change room door swung shut behind the last person. It was just she, James and Sirius alone.

"Nothing." James was packing up his gear, shoving it into his bag so that he didn't have to look up at them. He hadn't looked at Marlene all day now that she came to think about it. Her stomach sank. His question from the night before. What if James knew?

"You sure everything's okay?" Sirius jumped in, completely clueless.

"It's fine…" James mumbled. He always mumbled when he lied. Marlene thought she was going to be sick. She and Sirius hadn't been very discreet last night. What Marlene hadn't told James when she'd returned to the couches was that she'd promised Sirius she'd be waiting up for him after he visited his uncle.

She'd come tiptoeing down the stairs to the common room just after one a.m., the time they had agreed to meet. Of course, in typical Sirius fashion he showed up half an hour later.

"You waited."

"I said I would."

"Figured you might've fallen asleep."

"No."

Had it been silly of her to wait up for him like some worried girlfriend? She wasn't his girlfriend, she was hardly his friend for Merlin's sake, but still, she cared for him. She worried. She ignored her intuition telling her to leave it there and let Sirius persuade her to linger with him on the couch. It started as nothing more than a cuddle but by the end of it Marlene was struggling to grab her discarded undies off the ground, terrified someone might have heard them.

Had James?

That was the question that haunted her as Marlene stood there, watching as her best friend averted his gaze once more.

"Please just talk to us." She couldn't stand it. If he was upset she needed him to get it out.

"It's not my story to tell," James said, shaking his head. "Something happened last night…"

"What happened?"

"Someone hurt Lily." He finally blurted out. Marlene's face fell.

"Hurt her how?" Sirius stepped forward. "Is she okay—"

"Yes…I don't know…" James took his glasses off with one hand, pinching the bridge of his nose with the other. "They cornered her when she was doing patrols in the dungeons—"

"Slytherins?" Marlene gasped.

"Please, will you just speak to her yourself once we get back?" Marlene could see the discomfort written across James' face. How was it he knew about Lily's run-in with Slytherins last night but Fabian had seemed completely oblivious all throughout practice?

"How do you know?" Marlene was too nosy to stop herself from asking.

"We did patrols together last night, I saw her afterwards." Marlene didn't quite buy it. There was something off-putting about James' attitude. He still wouldn't look at her. Marlene had known him long enough to know that meant he was holding something back. There was more to the story than he wanted to admit. Part of her wanted to stay there and grill him, she could squeeze it out of him eventually if she really tried, but there were more important things to focus on. Namely, finding Lily to make sure she was really okay.

"I'll check on her," Marlene promised, watching some of the worry drain from James' face.

"Come on mate," Sirius gave James a good clap on the back, "let's go find some breakfast."

They all walked back up to the castle together and not another word was spoken about Lily. Instead, James asked Sirius about his visit with his uncle and demanded to know every detail of their conversation. Marlene pretended that she hadn't already asked Sirius about it all last night.

Inside the castle, the boys went straight for the Great Hall while Marlene sped up towards Gryffindor Tower, desperate to see Lily. She hated the thought of her lying in bed alone, scared, and possibly injured. She wanted to hurt whoever had done this to her friend. Lily was harmless, one of the sweetest people Marlene knew, she was the last person who deserved this.

"Come in," came Lily's timid voice from beyond the door. Marlene was envious of her friend's new dorm room. Lily had a room all to herself, a privilege of being head girl, with a large queen, sized bed and a bathroom of her own. Not to mention she got the best view of the castle grounds, overlooking the forbidden forest.

Marlene found the bedroom cast in darkness, the curtains drawn to prevent any of the dull, morning light through. Lily was lying in the middle of the bed, sheets pulled up to her chin, no sign of rising anytime soon.

"Hello, darling."

"James told you did he?" Lily knew before Marlene had even closed the door. "I thought he might."

"What on earth happened?"

"Avery," Lily rolled her eyes, "and Cordelia Nott."

"That bitch." Marlene had always hatred Cordelia. When Lily had been friends with Severus she'd been forced, on occasion, to brush shoulders with her, and had maintained since the age of eleven that she was an absolute monster. Marlene loved to be right.

"Easy now."

"What'd they do?"

"Oh Mar, I don't want to go into it—"

"You've got to report them, Lily."

"It'll only turn it all into a bigger fuss than it is."

"It won't! They did this on purpose."

"I know that." Marlene could see Lily growing frustrated. She wanted to lie in bed all day and forget it had ever happened. For her, it was humiliating. They'd pick on her for being different and Marlene knew better than anyone how much Lily had always desperately wanted to fit in.

"I want to kill them for doing this to you."

"How about instead you just stay here with me for a little while, okay?" Lily pulled back the covers and Marlene obliged, kicking her shoes off into the corner. She could do this for her friend at the very least, even if she couldn't change what had happened.

"Lil?" Marlene whispered after a little while. "Is James the only other person who knows?"

"Yes," Lily admitted, sounding near sleep. "The only one…"


Lily had been noticeably absent all day. Mary hadn't seen her at breakfast nor had she been in any of their morning classes. Marlene had been missing as well and Mary had assumed they'd decided to take off the day together (although why she had not been invited to take part she could not say). She was therefore surprised when Marlene entered Potions alone, resting her book bag on Lily's chair beside her.

"What is going on today?" Mary asked as Emmeline poured Aconite fluid into their cauldron. It was the first time Mary had ever been partners with Emmeline in a class. They'd grown closer since the summer and even more so since arriving back at Hogwarts. Marlene and Alice – their only dorm mates now that Lily had her own room – seemed constantly preoccupied. It meant that Mary and Emmeline were frequently in each other's company but Mary couldn't complain. She liked spending time with Emmeline and the two had much more in common than she'd have ever expected.

"What?" Emmeline asked, absent-mindedly, as she turned her attention to the instructions they were meant to be following.

"Look at Marlene right now, she's been glaring at those guys this whole class." Mary nudged her head in the direction of the Slytherins across the room. Severus Snape and Nicholas Mulciber were sitting at a cauldron ahead of Cordelia Nott and Orval Avery. They were all snickering amongst themselves, typically annoying, but Marlene seemed more irritated by it than usual today.

"Maybe she's finally fed up," Emmeline shrugged, not nearly as curious as Mary was. "I wouldn't blame her, they're a nasty lot. Wasn't it Mulciber who tried to—"

"Yes." Mary cut her off before Emmeline could continue. She had no interest in reliving that horrible day. She could still remember the fear when Mulciber's curse had worn off and she'd found herself in a deserted corridor, her blouse half unbuttoned. If it hadn't been for a group of third years approaching she might have never gotten away in time…

"What about Lily?" Mary changed the subject. "Where the hell has she been all day?"

"Ill maybe?" Emmeline wasn't paying attention. "Do you think this is the right colour? It says we should be seeing a dark green but this still looks light to me?"

Mary got her head in the game after that. She wouldn't give Mulciber and his goony pals the satisfaction of Slughorn's praise for producing the best potion. They didn't, thank god, but neither did Mary and Emmeline. Instead, a pair of Ravenclaw girls Mary hardly knew won the prize and the rest of them gathered their things and exited the class as usual, or so Mary thought.

The Slytherin students, who'd been sitting closest to the door, left first. This was not entirely abnormal and Mary paid no mind to it until she noticed Marlene racing to catch up with them. What the hell was she doing? They all emptied out into the hallway, bustling with students.

"Hey!" Marlene barked down the corridor. She turned a few heads in her path, students turning around curiously to get a look at the scene. "Cordelia!" Now Mary was really confused. Was she trying to start a fight?

"What's going on?" The Marauders had just stepped into the hallway, James standing at Mary's shoulder.

"Your guess is as good as mine."

"Should someone stop her?" It was Frank who asked, he and Alice standing hand in hand.

"Do you have a problem?" Cordelia asked in her typical snide tone.

"You're a coward, you know that?" Marlene was getting right up in Cordelia's face. Now there was a crowd gathering around them, students drawn to the excitement in the hallway. "You won't get away with what you did."

"Excuse me?" Cordelia scoffed, looking up at her boyfriend beside her. "Did you just hear what she said? Did you just threaten me?"

"Watch your tongue, McKinnon." Snape, who'd been standing to the side listening, warned her.

"Don't even get me started on you," Marlene spat. "you're just as bad as this lot. I swear, if you or any of your pathetic friends go near her again—" Marlene was reaching into the pocket of her robes, presumably for her wand, but Mary couldn't focus on that. Go near her. What the hell had they done and where was Lily?

"You think you scare us?" Cordelia seethed. "You filthy blood traitor!" There were gasps among the students.

"Come on Dee, you're making a scene," Avery said to his girlfriend, tugging on her arm. Mary was shocked by his use of common sense.

"Listen to your boyfriend Dee," Marlene mocked her, "we all know you have no head of your own to use." That was enough. Cordelia reached for her wand now too, pulling it out at the ready.

"You want to prove who the better witch is?" She demanded, venom in her voice. "Let's do."

"Fine. I'll give you a taste of your own medicine if you like and I don't need to get my boyfriend's help to do it." Mary could see the colour rising in Cordelia's pale cheeks. Marlene was asking for it now. They circled each other in front of a hallway of other students; it was a disaster in the making but neither seemed to care.

"This is ridiculous," Snape rolled his eyes. "You're behaving like children."

"Is that what you think last night was?" Demanded Marlene. "Child's play?" Marlene wasn't playing around, she was livid. She'd been sitting on her rage for the past two hours in class and now, with her target before her, she was ready to fight. "You're worse than them."

"Shut your mouth."

"That's no way to talk to a lady." Mary felt James brush past her as he stepped forward. She'd had a feeling it wouldn't last long before he intervened. There was no way he was going to let Marlene stand there alone. "Is it, Snivellus?" James added, perhaps just for the snarl it put on Snape's face.

"Piss off Potter."

This was getting out of hand. Mary looked behind her at Alice who was watching the scene with the same uneasiness as she was, just waiting for it all to explode.

"What's going on out here?" Slughorn's voice echoed down the hallway and suddenly the crowd dispersed. He pushed through the students to the centre of the commotion where James and Marlene were standing.

"Oh, nothing Professor," James assured him with his usual charm. "Just giving these lot a lesson on manners."

You couldn't mistake the discomfort on Slughorn's face. "Off to your classes," he ordered, clearing his throat, "all of you."

Everyone listened, rushing off before detentions were handed out. Avery finally managed to pull his girlfriend away and the rest of their friends swiftly followed, glaring at James and Marlene as they passed.

"You shouldn't have done that," Marlene complained to James. "I had it under control—"

"Yeah, five more seconds and you would've been fighting four Slytherins on your own."

"I could handle it."

"What the hell was that all about?" Mary couldn't hold her questions back any longer. She stormed up to the pair of them, staring expectantly at Marlene. She needed answers now. Where was Lily? Who had Cordelia hurt and why was Marlene so bloody angry?

"We should talk somewhere a little more…private." Mary's stomach dropped.

"Is it Lily?" She asked, speaking in a hushed tone so no one beyond Marlene and James could hear. She knew the answer before Marlene had nodded her head.


Lily hadn't left her room all day. Marlene had gone down to the Great Hall at lunch to fetch some food for her but Lily could hardly eat when her stomach was all in knots. She could leave her room either. She was terrified of running into anyone. For starters, her stomach still ached where Cordelia's foot had hit it. The cut above her eye didn't help either. The only person that might really be able to help Lily was Madam Pomfrey but she had no interest in visiting the Hospital Wing and making a scene. No. She could handle this herself.

Sleep, occasional reading, and a hot shower were all used to help wash away Lily's worries. She couldn't stop her thinking though. It wasn't what had happened with Avery and Cordelia that stuck out in her mind either, but rather, her moment with James. His hands on her. His tongue…

Lily rolled over in bed, pulling the covers up over her head. She needed to stop remembering that. Fabian would send someone up soon, asking after her. Maybe Marlene had already told him. Regardless, he'd be there soon, wanting to see her, to comfort her. Part of her wanted him to. She craved his comfort, his tenderness, his large arms.

The other part of her felt awful. She imagined Fabian's face when he learned of her betrayal. She pictured him, walking through the corridors with his arm wrapped around another girl's waist, and her heart broke. She loved him. God how she loved him. He was the first boy she'd ever felt that way about. The first boy she'd slept with. The first boy she'd spent an overnight with. How could she possibly go on now without him?

With James Potter of all bloody people. She hated James, didn't she? She was supposed to at least. She vowed long ago that she would never ever go for James Potter and here she was, practically wet for him. She was a hypocrite. A hypocrite and a liar. What a wonderful combination. Her father would've been ashamed.

These were the circles Lily's mind was running in when she was startled by a knock at the door. It was dark now, past dinner.

"Lily?" Marlene's head poked around the corner. Lily sat up, squinting at the light pouring in from the hallway. "We came to see how you were doing."

"We?"

Mary and Alice slipped in behind Marlene, closing the door after them. No one turned on the lights – Lily was grateful, as she certainly looked affright. They all climbed onto her bed instead, coming together for a group hug.

"We love you." They told her, showering her in kisses.

"I know," Lily chuckled, feeling her load very much lightened.

"I brought you something," Alice said, producing a wrapped up piece of treacle tart from behind her back. Lily wanted to cry.

"You didn't have to."

"I want to see you eat every bite," Alice ordered. "I'm sure you haven't been eating." Lily turned away guiltily. "I know the feeling Lil, but food will help."

Lily wished her friends knew half of what was keeping her stuck in her room all day without an appetite. She wanted so desperately to confess to her friends what she had done with James, how badly she had messed everything up between her and Fabian, but the words just got stuck in her throat. To admit to her crime would make it real. If she said nothing it would be as though it had never happened…

Lily began to eat the tart with her hands, pleasing her friends.

"Marlene nearly murdered Cordelia in the hall today," Mary blurted out. Lily caught Marlene's sideways glance, warning her to shut up.

"What?"

"It was nothing," Marlene assured her, "nothing happened."

"Something clearly happened?"

"Marlene called Cordelia a pathetic coward," Alice filled in the gaps. Lily paused for a moment and then snorted with laughter.

"You did what?"

"In front of half of our year. Cordelia had nothing to say back except to call her a blood traitor."

"She's an idiot," Marlene shrugged. Lily should've known she couldn't expect Marlene to hold her tongue. She didn't know how not to defend her friends. Besides, it was comforting to know she would always have Lily's back.

"My knight in shining army," Lily smiled, leaning her head on Marlene's shoulder to show she wasn't upset.

"Also," Mary cleared her throat, "I think there's someone else who wants to see you."

"Fabian? Does he know?"

"Some, only that something happened between you and some Slytherins last night. No details." Lily put down her half-eaten tart, her stomach rolling.

"He's in the boy's dorm."

"I should go see him." Lily had been in her pyjamas all day and her hair was a mess. On top of that, she knew Fabian would freak out when he saw the dark circles beneath her eyes and the fresh cut.

"Are you okay to do that?" Alice worried. "Because if you don't feel up to it—"

"I want to see him," Lily said with certainty. She did and she did not. She wanted to see him as she once was before she'd kissed another guy, the last guy he would ever expect. How could she possibly look him in the eyes now, knowing what she'd done?

"Finish your food and we'll take you." Lily did as she was told, even though it was like swallowing sandpaper. She sat at her desk and let Mary comb out her hair for her so that it was smooth down her back by the end.

Lily's heart was in her throat when she knocked on the door to the seventh year boy's dormitory. James' door was just a few feet away. Was he in there? Would he hear them?

It was Fabian who answered, a panicked expression on his face. He closed the door before Lily could get a good look at any of the other guys in the room.

"Are you okay?" He reached out for her face, stroking her hair back. "What happened?"

"I'm fine," Lily promised, although her voice was shaking. How long had he been worrying, fretting over what had happened?

"Merlin, Lily, I was so scared." He leaned in, kissing her quickly. Lily felt the tears welling up. She looked up at Fabian once more, his brown eyes filled with such care, and she broke. She fell into his chest, sobbing, ready to confess to the terrible act she had committed. She had to tell him the truth. She had to.

"I've got you," Fabian promised, kissing the crown of her head. "I'm not going to let anything happen to you." He held her for as long as she needed, he always did, and he gave the best hugs. Lily never wanted to let go. She realized then, drying her face on his shirt, that she hadn't the strength or the courage to confess.

"I love you," she said, tears still clinging to her eyelashes as she gazed up at him.

"I love you too."

They kissed, Lily's forehead resting against Fabian's chest, his hand smoothing down her back. She loved him. She would always love him. Shouldn't that be enough?


James' head had been in the clouds all day. He had never, ever been late to Quidditch practice before. Not even after a full moon, but today was a first. He'd seen the confused and irritated faces of his players, wondering why on earth he'd demanded they be out of bed at such an ungodly hour if he wasn't going to make the same effort?

They might have understood if he'd been able to explain himself. If they had any idea that James Potter had finally kissed Lily Evans. He didn't know how he stopped himself from spilling the beans to Marlene and Sirius except that he felt terribly guilty about it.

Yes, he'd imagined kissing Lily a thousand times. Dreamt about it more than once. But not like this. Not when she was recovering from a traumatic experience and attached to another guy, presumably in love with him. James had hardly been able to look Fabian in the eye all practice, even when he'd needed to criticize one of his plays, which Fabian took like a champ. He was such a nice guy and James was snogging his girlfriend behind his back.

If he told Marlene and Sirius what had happened it would be like he was bragging, like he was proud of messing around with another guy's girl. No, James knew what the best thing to do was. He had to forget about it, wipe it from his memory, and perhaps reveal to the boys five years from now that yes, he had managed to kiss Lily Evans at least once in his lifetime. He could already picture the look of utter shock on their faces.

So James pulled back all day, terrified that if he said too much the truth would come flying out as well. He knew that the guys, and Marlene, had noticed. Maybe that was why Marlene tried to fight Cordelia. More likely it was just because she was a good person, better than him, and she had to defend Lily's honour.

"I think I might just go to bed," James announced just after nine p.m. His friends all looked at him as though he'd just told them he was gravely ill.

"You never go to bed early." Sirius sounded like his mother.

"Yeah well, I'm tired. I had a long night."

"You know, you still haven't really explained—"

"It's not my story to tell," James sighed exasperatedly. He was sick of all the questions. "Lily will explain it all, I'm sure."

"Are you sure everything is okay Prongs?" Sirius asked for the hundreth time that day.

"Fine." James wanted to tell Sirius, more than anyone, about what had happened. He'd know just what to say but he couldn't. He couldn't tell anyone.

"I'm just tired.I'll be fine tomorrow." He went to bed after that.

He didn't sleep, of course, he hadn't managed to last night either, but it was nice to be alone. James was not a particularly private person. He wore his heart on his sleeve, he had since he was a child, and hiding things from his friends did not come naturally. Especially not when it was news this big.

James had been smoking a cigarette at his window when he heard voices in the corridor.

"Are you okay? What happened?" He knew right away who they belonged to. It was Fabian and Lily, he was seriously going to be forced to listen to her explain the night to her boyfriend. He wanted to blast music to block it all out but he hated the idea of drawing attention to himself.

"I'm fine." He heard the wave of tears come after that and felt his stomach turn. James couldn't bear to listen; knowing deep down that he was responsible for some of Lily's pain. That was never how he'd wanted things to happen. He'd pictured sunsets and picnics by the great lake. He'd imagined them both filled with excitement afterwards, not dread.

James didn't feel any better about himself when he heard Lily telling Fabian how much she loved him. That was just about too much for him. He tossed his cigarette out the window and closed himself off in the bathroom instead, sick at the thought of hearing anymore.

He was a fool. Had he really believed Lily's actions last night were anything but a reaction to what she'd just experienced? He'd helped distract her from the scariness of it all and now she was filled with guilt about what she'd done. She was never going to want him, that's what he needed to realize. Lily loved Fabian and, chances were, she wasn't going to give up on that anytime soon.

Move on you idiot, James scolded himself, it's pathetic. He knew he had to give up completely on the dream that anything would ever happen with Lily Evans.