It was truly the most beautiful time of year. The air was crisp and the leaves had changed colour from green to yellow to amber. Alice knew in a few weeks time everything would be dead, the trees would be bare and the air would carry a chill that seemed to make one shiver endlessly.
It was a Sunday morning and Gryffindor's first Quidditch match of the season. Her roommates had all been up and at it early. They always were on game days. Alice had never been much of a Quidditch fan herself. She'd been to a few games throughout her years at Hogwarts but never made a habit of attending. She found the sport to be boring and hated having to press binoculars to her face if she wanted to see a thing. Luckily for her, Frank despised the game. That wasn't exactly true – apparently, he'd quite enjoyed it as a little boy – but his father had been a pro-Quidditch player and died, falling from his broom. It was an unfortunate accident, which might have been prevented if one of the captains had been watching their players more closely.
Alice was supposed to be heading down to the Great Hall now, as she'd promised Emmeline, Mary and Marlene that she would meet them there, but she couldn't seem to find the motivation. There was an unsettling feeling in the pit of her stomach that stopped her from moving off the edge of her bed, even when her stomach growled hungrily.
She opened the drawer of her bedside table and pulled out a small, black jewellery box. Inside of it was a beautiful ring. It was a round, emerald stone rested on a diamond encrusted golden band. Alice had nearly fainted when Frank had produced it – hiding in the bottom of his trunk.
"It was mum's," he explained, slipping it onto Alice's ring finger as she stood, speechless. "She gave it to me a few years ago, said that she thought my father would want me to have it."
Alice knew she was a terrible person. She should've stopped him, in Madame Puddifoot's, and told Frank the truth. At least then he would know who she was and maybe he'd think twice about asking her to spend the rest of their lives together. Of course, Alice never worked up the courage for that. Instead, she stared at him like he was a lunatic for what felt like forever. Frank had squeezed her hand, the smile draining from his face, and asked whether she was okay.
"Have I fucked it up?" He asked anxiously, Alice still frozen. "Please say something, Alice."
"Yes," she'd blurted out because the sadness in his eyes was too much for her to bear. "Of course I'll marry you." What a coward she was, lying straight to the face of the man she loved.
He'd shown her the ring when they'd returned to the castle. They went up to Gryffindor tower while everyone else enjoyed dinner in the Great Hall. Frank had been dying to show her the ring.
"Let's just keep it between ourselves for now, okay?" Alice asked her boyfriend (or fiancé? Was Frank her fiancé now? Merlin's beard…)
"You don't want to tell our friends?"
"It's not that I just…I need a little time to wrap my head around this all." She felt faint, standing there, Frank's mother's engagement ring on her finger, the weight of her secret bearing her down.
"You are happy though, right?" He was so desperate to please her. He always had been. Frank took care of her. It was not uncommon for Alice to lose her head. She was always forgetting something or mixing up directions. Frank kept her on track. He was her head and her heart.
"Of course I'm happy." Tears prickled at her brown eyes. "I love you, Frank." She kissed him and then buried her head in his chest while tears rolled silently down her cheeks. She needed to tell him, sooner rather than later. The longer she waited the worse it would get.
Alice knew once word got out that she and Frank were engaged all hell would break loose. How would Everett react? Would he be furious? Would he expose their secret and Alice for the fraud she was? She deserved it, especially now.
Gryffindor table was packed with students in their house colours. Students wore scarlet and gold tunics. Lions emblazoned on shirts. Some (mostly the younger ones) had painted the Gryffindor colours onto their cheeks. Lily stuck out in her plain grey hoodie, walking down the hall in search of familiar faces.
She passed the Marauders, all sitting together, James and Sirius already in their uniforms. James had his head down, moving his breakfast around with disinterest. Part of her wanted to walk over and wish him luck. She knew he was probably nervous about his first game back. Lily didn't walk up to him though. She went right past the group, without so much as a glance in their direction. James had been avoiding her like the plague all week and Lily hadn't the faintest idea why. She assumed he was punishing her, for kissing him and then returning to her boyfriend as though nothing had happened. Perhaps she deserved the silent treatment.
"Morning," Lily said, sliding onto the bench between Fabian and Gideon. They moved aside, making space for Lily's plate (which she promptly filled with eggs and bacon). "How're the nerves?"
"Non-existent," Gideon said with a mouthful of pancake. "We're going to crush them."
"He's feeling very confident," Fabian whispered in her ear.
"And you?" Lily turned to face him.
"I'll be fine as long as you're in the stands."
"Wouldn't miss it for the world." They shared a quick peck on the lips. Everything felt quick between them these days. Quick conversations, quick hugs, quick kisses that seemed to grow far and fewer between…
"Good morning lovebirds," Emmeline said. She, Mary and Marlene all shoved onto the bench on the other side of the table (earning some grumpy looks from the students they pushed aside). "Are you guys ready to kick some Ravenclaw ass today?"
"Always," Gideon winked at her. Lily could swear she saw Emmeline blush as she turned away.
"How is Sarah feeling, being from the opposing team?" Fabian asked innocently enough.
"Well," Marlene wasn't looking at any of them as she spoke, stabbing her fork into a piece of melon. "I don't think Sarah is likely to be at the game…"
"Why not?"
"I think she and James might be um…over." Lily didn't want to prey. She could see how uncomfortable Marlene felt being the bearer of such news. While the rest of her friends wondered curiously why they had ended their relationship, Lily felt her stomach knot up with guilt. Was it her fault? Had Sarah found out?
"That's too bad," Fabian, said, clueless, as ever, "I quite liked her."
"Well, sounds like she's back on the market," Mary teased him.
"Oh no," Fabian wrapped his arm around Lily, "I'm very happy with my lot." She forced a smile, not wanting to appear suspicious, her eyes dropping back down to her plate. Perhaps this explained James' icy behaviour. If it was her fault, she owed him an apology and Sarah as well.
It was hard to describe the feeling James got when he stared down Gryffindor table and caught a glimpse of Lily and Fabian kissing, his arm wrapped around her. He wanted to throw his half-finished plate across the hall. Better yet – he wanted to throw it right at Fabian's head.
"Alight, Prongs?" Sirius asked.
"Fine," James lied, pushing aside his food. "Just worrying about the game is all."
"Well don't," Sirius told him, as though he had a crystal ball that had revealed the future to him already. "We're going to destroy them today. We all know that you're a way better captain than Gregory."
"I suppose we'll see."
"That doesn't sound like you, Captain Potter," Peter quipped, "you're usually all ego before a game." James glared at Peter.
"What's with all the bloody inquisition?" No one had a chance to answer him. James heard someone clear their throat from behind him. The look on Sirius' face was enough to confirm James' suspicions about who it was.
"Do you think you could spare a minute?" Sarah asked. James had been dreading this. All week he'd been trying to get a second alone with Sarah and she'd blown him off. Now, on a game day no less, she'd decided she was ready.
"Yeah." What choice did he have? James followed Sarah out of the Great Hall, his hands clasped behind his back. He had a thousand things to worry about today – all of them concerning Quidditch, not fighting with Sarah before ten a.m.
They moved to a far corner of the Entrance Hall, Sarah leaning up against one of the pillars. Her head was bowed, hair covering her face so that James couldn't quite make out her expression. There was a part of him that almost wanted to reach out and stroke the loose strands behind her ears. A week ago he might've been able to do that.
"My reaction last week was…"
"Understandable," James assured her.
"No, I was unfair. We never defined the relationship, I never told you that I was uncomfortable with you kissing other girls—"
"I should have just assumed that was a given." James had known that his night with Lily would come back to haunt him. It wasn't possible, to finally get a taste of what he'd always wanted and not face the consequences for it. The last thing he'd ever wanted to do was hurt Sarah though.
Sarah looked up and James was relieved to see a smirk – however small – on her lips. "I'm sorry I was such a bitch this week—"
"Sarah, please, you have nothing to apologize for. I'm the one who deserves to feel like shit."
"We agreed, no strings," Sarah reminded him. "That's what we decided before coming back to school."
"It still doesn't excuse what I did…" James didn't want to be released from his guilt. He deserved to feel it. He'd done to Sarah what Lily had done to him – gotten her hopes up only to crush them at the earliest opportunity.
"Look, my friends, all warned me about you. Everybody knows you have a soft spot for Lily," Sarah stated as a matter of fact. "I was just stupid enough to believe you'd gotten over it." James had his own head bowed now, shamefully, when Sarah stuck her hand out.
"Truce," she said, James, staring up at her in shock. "Look, who am I to stand in the way of true love?"
"It's not true love," James told her, taking Sarah's hand. "It's not even love."
"She sure looks at you like it's love."
At this point, a number of students had entered and left the Great Hall, the large, double doors that led to it swinging open and shut frequently. James hadn't paid much attention until he noticed a lingering figure in the corner of his eye.
"Shit," he cursed - Sarah following his gaze. Fabian was standing a few feet away but the look on his face was enough to confirm James' fear that he'd heard some if not all of the conversation. They stood there – all three of them – frozen, staring at each other in terror. Then the doors to the Great Hall swung open again and out walked Lily. She had her hands tucked into the pocket at the front of her hoodie. She didn't notice them all standing there until she practically ran into Fabian.
"Is this…?" Fabian stared from Lily to James, and Sarah, in utter disbelief. "This is some kind of joke, right?" No one said a word. "Somebody explain what the hell is going on."
The look in Lily's eyes gave it all away – the sheer panic – as she gazed in James' direction.
"Why did you say that my girlfriend is in love with him?" Fabian demanded, pointing a very intimidating finger at James' chest.
"I don't really think it's my place—"Sarah tried to explain.
"Can someone please tell me what is going on?" Lily interrupted.
"Did you fuck James?" The colour drained from Lily's face.
"What?"
James didn't know what to do. Sarah gave him a sympathetic look and quickly scurried off while Fabian was distracted. James attempted to do the same but the attention was turned back on him before he could.
"Did you two sleep together?" Fabian demanded. He moved closer to James, Lily following, further from the doors through which someone might walk at any moment.
"No," James and Lily insisted at once.
"Have you kissed?" This time their reaction was not so reassuring.
"I can explain," Lily began to insist, the devastation clear as day on Fabian's face. James felt like an intruder in a very personal moment. Fabian's entire world had just been flipped upside down and there stood James, next to him, the bearer of all his pain.
"I would love to hear you try."
"It was the night I got attacked, I wasn't thinking straight, neither of us were—" Lily looked to James for confirmation though he didn't feel that assessment of the evening was entirely fair. He would've let her kiss him with or without her being attacked. If she kissed him right now he couldn't imagine pushing her off.
"It was a mistake," James agreed, lying between his teeth.
"I'm sure it was," Fabian nodded, not looking either of them in the eye. James had never seen him so angry. Now that he thought about it, he'd never seen Fabian angry ever. He was always a rather levelheaded guy, never riled up too easily. It was clear how badly this had hurt him.
"I'm sure you feel really awful about it now that you've been caught."
"Fabe, please!" Lily pleaded, reaching for his arm. He jerked it away.
"Do not touch me," he told her. Lily stepped back, her shoulders falling. "I can't even look at you right now…I can't…" he was pacing now, striding back and forth. James' eyes darted in the direction of the staircase once more, desperate to escape.
"I'm so sorry." Lily's voice was thick with emotion. When James looked at her he saw the tears building up in her eyes. "I never wanted to hurt you, Fabian—"
"Then why the hell did you do it?" Fabian bellowed, the colour rising in his face. "Then you hid it from me, for weeks. You've made me look like a fool."
"I felt terrible! I knew how much it would hurt you and I was scared—"
"I don't care," Fabian said, shaking his head. He ran his hands along his face. James looked away, not wanting to intrude on the moment any more than he already had. He'd made a real mess of things, hadn't he? Not only had he destroyed his own relationship with Sarah, but he'd also ruined Lily's in the process too. It wouldn't take long for the gossip to spread around school, the three of them having it out in the middle of the entryway.
"I have to go," Fabian said, Lily's face falling. "I need to get ready for the game."
"We can't just leave it like this," Lily said, tears rolling down her cheeks.
"I have nothing left to say to you," he told her, his tone chilling. "Not until after the game at least."
Lily opened her mouth, as though to say more, but Fabian had already stormed off, out the doors into the courtyard. James didn't even want to think about how messy today's match would be now that one of his key players hated his guts.
James and Lily stood there in silence for a while, neither speaking, Lily snuffling back her tears. James didn't know whether he was supposed to walk away or try to comfort her.
"I'm sorry," Lily, said, her voice broken and small.
"Don't apologize."
"I've ruined everything haven't I?"
"No," James assured her. "It'll be okay. He'll get over it. He loves you too much not to." And I should know, considering how much I love you…
Marlene had woken up with a giant hickey on her neck – courtesy of Sirius Black. She did her best to cover it with as much concealer as she could before giving up and moving her hair over it. She'd need to tie it up for the game but by then she hoped no one would be paying attention. She waited anxiously all morning for one of her friends to point it out – she expected Emmeline to see it first when they all went down to breakfast that morning, but she was too distracted placing game bets with Mary.
She thought that Gryffindor would only win by a margin; Mary argued it'd be a landslide. They put down five sickles each and shook on it. Even when they sat down in the Great Hall, across from the Prewett twins and Lily, no one said a word. Of course, little did Marlene realize, everyone was very much preoccupied with bigger problems.
She didn't learn this until she returned to the Gryffindor girls' dormitory to fetch her uniform. When she'd been walking down the hall, towards the seventh year's room, she'd heard the sobbing coming from behind Lily's door.
"Lil? You okay in there?" No response, just the sound of sniffling and more tears. Eventually, Marlene pushed the door open, stepping inside to find her friend lying on her bed in the fetal position, her back to the door.
"Lily? What's happened, babe?" Marlene rushed to her friend's side, rubbing a soothing hand along Lily's back.
"I'm a terrible person," Lily confessed through her tears. "I've done the most horrible thing!" It didn't take long for Marlene to figure out what she was talking about.
"You mean what happened with you and James?"
Lily rolled over, her bloodshot eyes widened in awe. "How did you know that?"
"James told Sirius and me last week."
"And you never said anything?"
"I wanted to wait until you told me yourself."
Fresh tears came to Lily's green eyes. "Oh Mar I…I've ruined everything."
"I don't think that's very likely."
"I ruined James and Sarah's relationship, and whatever friendship James and I had and I…" Lily's chin quivered. "I broke Fabian's heart."
"He found out?" Marlene's stomach sank. She'd been dreading this day since James had told them about the kiss. Lily nodded her head, a shameful look in her eyes.
"He hates me," she said, her voice breaking. "I didn't even have the courage to tell him myself. He overheard James and Sarah's conversation."
"Shit."
"I wish I could just lay in here and hide forever." Lily grabbed onto the covers and pulled them over her head. Marlene was of two minds about it all. On one hand, she felt awful for Fabian who was surely hurting but, on the other, thrilled at the idea that perhaps, this was the kick in the butt James and Lily needed to finally realize what they both wanted.
"He's going to get over it," Marlene promised. "He's upset right now because he just found out, but if you give it some time I'm sure he'll cool down. I don't know if anyone's ever told you this Lily but it's quite impossible to stay angry at you."
"That's not true," Lily's muffled voice came from beneath the covers, "ask my sister."
"Well, Fabian isn't your sister, thank Merlin, and I think he might be a little more easily persuaded." Lily peaked her head out.
"You think so?"
"Yes. I think if you really want to fix things with him you can."
"But?"
"But," Marlene sighed, "I think now is the perfect opportunity to think about whether that is what you really want."
"You think we should break up?" Lily asked, her voice terrified.
"I think you should follow your gut."
"I've made a right mess of things." Lily sat up now, emerging from her fortress of protection. "Maybe I should just stick back here today, avoid the game…"
"Rubbish, you love Quidditch." Lily attended every game, rain or shine, and cheered them on from the stands. She'd enjoyed watching the matches even before her friends had played. Marlene was not about to let her avoid something she loved all because of a boy.
X
The change rooms were bustling with energy, with only ten minutes to go before the game. Marlene was sitting on one of the benches, stretching out her legs, when Sirius sat down beside her.
"Nice hickey," he whispered in her ear, Marlene swatting him away.
"Piss off." She feared someone might notice them sitting there, a little too close to each other, and tie two and two together when they saw the hickey on her neck. Luckily for Marlene, today was filled with distractions.
"Hey, have either of you seen Potter?" Gideon asked, stepping in front of them.
"Nah, he likes to spend the last few minutes before the game alone. Why?" Gideon shifted anxiously from foot to foot, as though debating in his head whether or not he should answer Sirius' question.
"It's Fabian, isn't it?" Marlene asked knowingly. Gideon nodded.
"What's going on?"
"He knows," Marlene, whispered to Sirius, who clued in immediately.
"I don't know if it's best for him to be in the air today…" Gideon told them. "He's a little…"
"Tense?"
"Well, he's out for blood to be more exact." Marlene and Sirius shared an anxious look. It was bad enough having Fabian furious with James but, on a game day, when his position required protecting his fellow teammates, it was all the makings of a disaster.
The door to the change room swung open and in came James; helmet tucked under one arm, broomstick in the other. He took his place at the front of the room, as he always did before a game, preparing to make his speech to the team. Marlene almost expected Fabian to jump forward, like a wild beast waiting for its prey, and attack James right there in front of everyone. Thankfully, he didn't.
James got through his speech smoothly and ended it with a team cheer and a reminder that everyone play their best and be proud of themselves no matter the outcome. One by one, players filed out of the room and onto the field ready to begin the match. Marlene, Gideon and Sirius stuck behind.
As it turned out, Fabian had stuck behind as well. Marlene didn't see him, sitting on the bench a few feet away, until she reached the front of the room, and by then it was too late. He stood up and in one swift motion thrust his fist into James' face, the entire room erupting into chaos.
Gideon held his brother back by his arms, Sirius and Marlene both rushed to James' side.
"You prick!" Fabian spat furiously. "You've been waiting for your chance to pounce on her!"
"Oi! We're supposed to be out on the field in a matter of minutes, don't you think this could wait?" Marlene shouted at him. Fabian was seething.
"Oh shut up Marlene, we all know you're just defending Potter—"
"You might want to speak to her with a little more respect," Sirius warned him, getting right up into Fabian's face. The whole scene was a mess.
"They're right Fabe, this isn't the time or the place," Gideon reminded his brother, still holding him in a tight grasp.
"Fine," Fabian agreed, not sounding at all happy about it. He pulled free from his brother and went stomping out of the room, the sound of cheers pouring in from outside as the door shut behind him.
"Can you make sure he's not going to hit us all in the face with a bludger when we get out there?" Marlene asked a rather helpless looking Gideon. He agreed and chased his brother out of the room, leaving only the three of them behind.
"For fuck's sake," Marlene said staring down at James, who was white-faced, wiping blood from his mouth. "We are so going to lose."
…
A/N: Part one of two! Read, review, enjoy! xx
