Lily had forced Mary to accompany her to the Quidditch game. Usually, she would have gone down alone, found a familiar face in the stands and settled in for the next hour or so. Not today though. Knowing that hers was the last face Fabian would want to see before a game, Lily made sure they sat deep in the middle of the stands, among a group of Ravenclaw students.

The good thing about Mary was – she never asked too many questions.

"Has something happened, Lil?" She'd asked on their way down to the pitch. The game started in ten minutes. There seemed an endless stream of students around them, orange, and blue jumping out in the crowd.

"I've just…well, I've been a bit of an idiot." Lily's stomach sank. She'd been more than that – she had been a bad person. There was nothing she could say or do to change that.

"With Fabian?" Mary asked, keeping her voice down. They had their arms linked and their heads close together.

"I kissed James," Lily confessed, regretting it the moment she did. What if Mary said something? Not that it mattered now that Fabian knew…soon it would be common knowledge that Lily was a cheating whore.

"Fabian found out then, I assume?" Lily nodded. Mary sighed heavily – letting Lily know she felt for her. "It'll be okay," she promised, "it's all going to work itself out one way or another."

"I'm not so sure."

The conversation had moved on after that. They'd reached the pitch, the stands nearly full, and Lily made a point not to let her eyes dart in the direction of the change rooms.

Now, they were forty minutes into the game. The weather was wretched, wind blowing furiously so that every so often a player was blown right off course. Lily had brought a pair of binoculars in her bag and she and Mary passed them between each other every few minutes.

"Is that Ravenclaw player still—?"

"The Beater, Jenkins? Yeah, he's still going hard with the bludger." Mary had a tone of disapproval in her voice that suggested she knew the Ravenclaw Chaser better than Lily might have expected.

"How do you know his name?" Lily asked, reaching for the binoculars Mary offered her.

"I could read it on the back of his jersey."

"Christ, do I need my eyes checked? I can't read a bloody thing."

Lily looked up towards the game, her vision now magnified. The first thing she saw was James. He was unmistakable – hair sticking out in all directions, flying with a look of fierce determination. Lily could recognize him just off the way he rode his broom.

"Ohh, Fabian Prewett has knocked Penelope Watercrest right off her broom! That is Ravenclaw's Seeker down folks!" Mike Healy, the game's Ravenclaw commentator, announced from his booth. Lily turned the binoculars down and caught of glimpse of Penelope, safe on the ground, speaking to Madame Hooch.

Lily looked up and there was Fabian, zooming across to the other side of the pitch, ignoring the "boos" he received in plenty from Ravenclaws in the stands.

"Your turn." Lily couldn't stomach more than that. She just wanted the bloody game to end. Then she could talk to Fabian, apologize again, and…well, Lily hadn't quite gotten past that part yet.

"Merlin, Potter's off his game isn't he?" Lily heard one of the Ravenclaw boys beside her say to his friend. "He hasn't managed to get the Quaffle in once and he doesn't even look like he's paying attention."

"That Beater of his is probably stealing his attention. They should take him off the pitch—"

"Holy shit, Charlie, did you see that?"

Lily's stomach dropped. She gripped Mary's knee. "What just happened?"

Even without binoculars, she could see the player in orange go tumbling to the ground, Madame Hooch stopping his body before it could make impact.

"I think…" Mary cleared her throat, binoculars still pressed against her face, "Lily, I think that might've been—"

"Gryffindor's team captain, James Potter has just been hit in the head with the bludger!" Lily's skin ran cold. "It looks like he might be out of the game for good…"

"That Beater didn't even try to block the bloody shot!" One of the boys exclaimed. "What an idiot."

Mary pulled the binoculars down from her face. Just from the look in her eyes, Lily could see the boys were right – Fabian had allowed James to be knocked unconscious and thrown off of his broom and it was all Lily's fault. Not only had she hurt them both – now, but she'd also be the reason they lost their first match of the year.

"For fuck's sake, why won't he just stand up?" Lily demanded. She was standing, peering over the edge of the stand anxiously. Three professors surrounded James who lay motionless on the ground. Madame Hooch made a signal towards the commentator booth and then blew her whistle.

"Looks like we'll be taking fifteen folks," Mike announced to the somewhat disappointed crowd. All of the players came flying back down towards the ground, Lily's eyes following Fabian. She knew he was hurting and she knew exactly whose fault it was and yet she couldn't fight the rage she felt well up inside of her towards him.

He had purposefully tried to hurt James when his job was to protect him, to protect his team. Lily started walking down to the bottom of the stand without really realizing what she was doing. Mary called her name once or twice but she didn't stop, not even to answer her friend.

She got down onto the pitch and walked towards the centre, where all of the players stood waiting for instructions. The Professors were all still standing over James – Hooch, McGonagall, and Dumbledore. Lily didn't walk towards them though; she made a beeline towards the back of the group, to the two auburn-haired men.

"You did that on purpose?" Lily kept her voice down, grabbing onto Fabian's arm to catch his attention. He looked down at her, first with surprise and then contempt.

"You only have yourself to blame."

"Guys, maybe this isn't the best place to do this…" Gideon tried to reason with them.

"I'm the one who hurt you Fabian, not him."

"It was both of you," Fabian snapped. His tone was angry but she could see in his eyes that he was hurting. She was breaking his heart, and worse than that – she had ruined his seven years old friendship with James.

"We're going to be taking Mr Potter to see Madame Pomfrey. Now, Black, I believe Potter had you listed as interim captain?"

"Yes, ma'am," Sirius nodded.

"Well then, get one of your benched Chasers in the game and let's get a move on."

Lily hid in the back, thankful for once to be short. She could see James, up ahead, being placed onto a stretcher that floated four feet off the ground. He looked so helpless laying there, the side of his face all red where the bludger had hit it.

"Is there anyone in the stands that can take him safely back to the castle?" Madam Hooch asked Sirius and Marlene.

"Remus could do it?" Sirius suggested, looking to Marlene for confirmation. She nodded her head.

"I'll go get him, you guys get the game started."

Lily stepped forward, Fabian pulling her back. "Are you going to go with him?" he asked, looking down at her. Players were getting back on their brooms, returning to the game above. Marlene was getting further away…

"Fabe, come on mate," Gideon urged his brother.

Lily stepped back again, eyes darting towards Marlene, and then (taking the last chance she had) she ran after her. Lily knew it was wrong, to leave Fabian like that, his question unanswered so that he would be forced to spend the rest of the game wondering whether he would even have a girlfriend when his feet hit the ground.

"Marlene!" Lily cried, racing to stop her friend from disappearing in the crowd of students. Marlene stopped, turning before she reached the stairs, eyebrows raised.

"Lil, what're you—"

"I'll take him," Lily said, completely out of breath.

"You want to take James to the Hospital Wing?" Marlene asked sceptically. "Lily, what about Fabian? He'll know if you go. Everyone will."

"I don't care," Lily shook her head, "Madam Hooch said he needs someone who will make sure he gets back safely." She gave Marlene a pleading look. "I will make sure."

"Okay," Marlene agreed. "You should take him."

Lily gave a little sigh of relief and then, before Marlene could ask any more questions (before she talked herself out of the insanity which had become her life), ran back down the pitch towards James.

"Ms Evans?" Professor McGonagall, who had been standing watch by James, asked with a tone of surprise. "I thought that Mr Lupin would be escorting—"

"No, Professor, just me."

"Well, okay then," McGonagall shrugged. "Just be careful you don't bump him into anything."

"I will," Lily promised, using her wand to guide James' stretcher carefully off the Quidditch pitch. Lily kept her eyes set on James, ignoring the whispering and the stares as they passed people by. Lily had him halfway to the castle before she heard James make a sound.

He groaned and she stopped dead in her tracks, leaning over the stretcher.

"James? Can you hear me?"

"Lily?" He mumbled, squinting his eyes open. Lily couldn't help but smile with relief. Part of her had feared she might never see those hazel eyes again. "Did we win?"

"The game's still going," she told him, watching the look on his face change.

"Then what the hell am I doing on this stretcher—" James moved as if to get back on his feet, but Lily put her hands out, stopping him.

"You need to see Madame Pomfrey and besides, there's no way in hell I'm letting you back onto a broomstick after the hit you took."

James looked up in awe. "Let me?" he repeated.

"Yeah," Lily nodded, reaching for his hand, "turns out I care about you." She could feel the lump forming in the back of her throat, tears prickling her eyes.

James squeezed her hand back. "Turns out I care about you too," he said with a lopsided grin.


They were going to lose. Their first game of the season and they were going to fucking lose. Sirius couldn't help but feel resentful towards Fabian, still sulking as he flew around the pitch, smacking the bludger in whatever direction he pleased. Their chances had been slim , o begin with but, with their captain now out of the game, winning was unachievable.

They ended the game five points behind Ravenclaw (that being before the Ravenclaw seeker earned them the extra 150 points from catching the snitch). Truth be told, by the time the game was done Sirius was thankful. Nearly two hours they'd been going and it'd been difficult to keep his head in the game during the last stretch knowing that James was injured.

They shook hands with the winning team on the ground, heading afterwards towards their respective change rooms. Sirius caught up with Marlene, a few paces ahead of him.

"Hey, did you find Remus okay?"

"Right…" Marlene said. "About that, Lily actually wanted to take him."

"Lily?" Sirius' eyes bulged. "Why? Isn't she in enough trouble as is—"

"Oh come on Sirius, you can't be that daft," Marlene rolled her eyes, stopping abruptly so that the people behind them nearly toppled over. "She and Fabian are done," Marlene kept her voice down so that no one around them heard (most especially not Fabian).

She grinned at his stunned expression, heading forth into the change rooms. Gideon and Fabian were in their usual corner, Sirius making sure not to let them out of his sight. He wasn't going to let Fabian off the hook for the shit he'd pulled. He'd cost them the game and put James' safety at risk.

Sirius waited until most of the team had cleared out before approaching the brothers, Marlene watching from across the room.

"Fabian?" He stared up from the shoelaces he'd been tying. "Can I have a word?"

"I think I know what you're going to say and I don't care to hear it right now."

"You cost us the game today."

Fabian scoffed. "I cost the game? You might want to point the blame at your friend, the one who kissed my girlfriend."

"You have a right to be upset at James but that doesn't mean you screw the rest of us over too!"

"I don't need to sit here and have you tell me how to behave," Fabian objected, rising from the bench. "Potter deserved what happened today."

"You better get your brother out of my face before I hit him," Sirius warned Gideon (who stepped forward immediately).

"Do it!" Fabian taunted Sirius the whole way out of the change room, being dragged by his brother. "Hit me!"

The door swung shut behind them, only Marlene and Sirius left alone. They stared at one another in stunned silence. If Fabian was behaving this way now what would he do once he realized he'd lost Lily to James completely?

"The castle is going to be a mess tonight," Marlene finally said.

"Yeah. If we're lucky they'll be no murders by morning."

"At the rate Fabian's going I don't think any of us are safe."

They always did this – dodged around the question really at hand: were they going to have sex? They were alone, the rest of their friends distracted by all of the drama, no one would notice if they came back twenty, even thirty, minutes late.

"You did a good job today," Marlene told him, "stepping in as captain."

"I don't know if you noticed but we lost," he reminded her.

"You kept the team from crumbling under pressure." Marlene stepped towards him. She stopped when there were only a few inches between them, her blue eyes eating him whole. "Not to mention, Captain Black has a nice ring to it."

"Yeah?" He put his hands on her waist. Her breath was warm and smelt of mint. She always chewed gum when she flew.

"Meeting a handsome Quidditch captain is a dream of mine you know." He could tell she was teasing, only finding a funny way to tell him she wanted to shag, but he went with it.

"Oh yeah? Well, the captain has an order for you." She watched him curiously, Sirius leaning in to whisper, "fuck me."

"Yes, captain," Marlene, agreed, pressing her lips against his.


Lily had escorted James safely to the Hospital Wing and then returned to Gryffindor tower before the rest of the house came back from the game. She knew chances were high they'd lose and she wasn't in the mood for the energy that would soon fill the common room.

It was an hour before Lily heard the first sounds of movement from downstairs. She was sitting at her desk attempting to map out a pros and cons list (Marlene always forced her to make one when Lily struggled to make a decision). Break-up with Fabian or work things out? What the hell did she want?

There was a knock at her door and when it opened Mary stepped inside. She stared at Lily expectantly. If anyone deserved to know the full story at it was Mary.

"Well?" She asked, sitting on the bed. "You went to James didn't you?"

"I went to yell at Fabian," Lily clarified, "but yes, I did end up taking him back to the castle—"

"I knew it!"

"Did we lose?" Lily dreaded the answer she knew was coming.

"Yeah. Fabian's downstairs by the way, not looking too happy."

"Oh…" Lily turned back towards her notebook. Both sides had an equal number of points (she couldn't even get a pros and cons list right).

"Babe, you've got to talk to him." It was easy for Mary to say when she had nothing to lose. Lily would be giving up something good in exchange for something that made her insides feel like they were being scrambled up.

"I know…" and she did. She knew that there was no way she and Fabian could continue when James was always going to be in the back of her mind. She would spend the rest of her life wondering, what if? What if she'd given him a shot? What if there was a reason she felt this way, a reason she was behaving self-destructively for the first time in her life?

"I say you just march right down there and ask him to step outside for a few minutes. Just sit on the stairs and talk. Do whatever your gut is telling you to do."

"My gut is telling me to change my name and get the hell out of doge."

Mary laughed. "As tempting as it sounds, I think you might find a simple conversation will soothe all your worries."

She was right; Lily knew she was right. Mary left to shower and Lily changed from the clothes she'd been wearing into something more comfortable: a blue turtleneck and black jeans.

Fabian was sitting downstairs by the fire with a sour look upon his face. He noticed Lily, standing at the bottom of the stairs, immediately, his head perking up. Her eyes shifted towards the portrait hole and he nodded, understanding.

Fabian left first, Lily following, and went to the bottom of the flight of stairs (to avoid The Fat Lady eavesdropping). He sat down, Lily joining on the step below him.

"You went with Potter to the hospital wing?" he asked. She was surprised to find the anger in his tone lacking.

"Yes, I did." What else could she say for herself? She had known when she'd done it how terrible it would make Fabian feel. She'd known it might mean the end of their relationship and yet, she'd done it anyway.

"You have feelings for him then?"

Lily knew her answer would change everything. She nodded her head, slowly – and not without guilt – giving Fabian the answer he'd been dreading.

He sighed, running his hands along his face and through his hair. Lily leaned against the wall, looking towards him trying desperately not to cry. She didn't get to be upset when she was the one doing all of this.

"James Potter," Fabian said in disbelief, shaking his head, "who would've thought." Lily couldn't quite believe it herself. "I was an idiot not to see it coming."

"Oh Fabe…"

"You should go to him." For the first time, he looked down at her, his brown eyes filled with tears. Lily's face fell. It was what she wanted to hear, wasn't it? He was giving her a way out but it didn't feel as relieving as she might have expected.

"I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't want to be with me."

"It's not like that," Lily insisted. "It's not that simple at all…I love you—"

"Please, don't say that. Not now, Lily, not after what you did today." She sat back, head bowing shamefully. "I never thought that you of all people…" his voice broke, "I never thought you would hurt me like that."

"I know." Lily bit her lip to stop from crying. "I'm so sorry…"

She could hear the sound of him snuffling back tears, his breathing staggered.

"I don't want to leave it like this," Lily said, looking up at him. His hands covered his face. He looked up, his eyes red-rimmed, cheeks wet from tears.

"If he's what you want then you should go," he told her, keeping a stoic face. "Because I'm not going to be responsible for holding you back."

"You never have," Lily told him, tears brimming her eyes. "Never."

"I hope he makes you happy," Fabian said, though he didn't sound like it.

What else could she say? There were no words to convey the depths of her guilt. She had broken his heart, stomped on it, and now she was willfully walking away. This was it, the end of her first serious relationship. Once, Lily had thought she would marry Fabian. Now she didn't know if he would ever speak to her again.

She stood, glancing once more towards him, his head bowed so that she couldn't make out his expression, and then descended the next flight of stairs.


No one in Gryffindor house was much in the mood to go down to the Great Hall for dinner and be reminded of their defeat in the game that afternoon. Instead, the Marauders (excluding James) had decided to camp out in the common room and gather as much food as they could from the kitchen to share.

Remus had drawn the shortest straw and, therefore, been forced to go down to the kitchen alone. He'd brought his book bag and two of the house elves that were fond of him helped him pack up an array of sandwiches, cookies, and pumpkin juice.

He was stepping out through the kitchen's portrait hole when he noticed Leila come down the corridor from the direction of the Hufflepuff basement. Remus moved quickly out from under the stairs into the light of the hall.

"Leila!" he called out, stopping her in her tracks.

"Oh, Remus! What're you doing down here?" She spun around, walking back towards him.

"Sneaking food from the kitchen. No one feels much like braving the crowds in the Great Hall," he explained, Leila nodding understandingly.

"I heard the game was quite dramatic."

"You should've been there," Remus, said, a nudge at the fact that he had invited her to attend with him and she'd made up an excuse to turn him down.

"Should've," Leila agreed, a small smile reaching her lips. Things between them were…off. They had been since the last full moon. Two cycles Remus had gone through so far and already the cracks were beginning to show. Leila wondered why he would become so moody and secretive in those days before and after a transformation. There was little he could say to excuse his behaviour that didn't come off looking suspicious.

"Hey, um, what're you up to now?" She asked, batting her long eyelashes. She really did have the most beautiful eyes…

Suddenly Remus felt the weight of the food in his bag and was reminded of his friends, waiting upstairs. They had agreed they'd eat in upstairs, share a few swigs of Sirius' contraband Firewhiskey, and then visit James in the hospital wing. He couldn't bail on the plans without seriously upsetting his friends.

"I can't tonight," Remus confessed, watching Leila's face fall. "I promised the boys—"

"Don't worry about it." He could tell just from her tone that he should be very worried.

"Leila, I'm sorry, I would if I could—"

"Except you can Remus. You just don't want to."

"That's not true…"

"You're always busy! Either it's your friends or you're tutoring someone."

"They're my friends!" He reasoned.

"But I thought I was supposed to be your girlfriend?" He saw then what it was upsetting her so much: she thought he was avoiding her. Perhaps she figured he'd got cold feet, he wanted to flee now before they got in any deeper. How wrong she was…

"You are my girlfriend," he assured her, stepping closer. "Leila, I'm sorry if I've made you feel less than important. These past few months have been…" Something beyond my wildest dreams…

"The best," Leila filled in for him.

"Yeah," he agreed, smiling, "they've been the best." Three months was the longest any of Remus' previous relationships had lasted and he had Leila had been seeing one another for four now…

"I'm not used to this," he continued, "being in a serious relationship."

"Well me neither, but I don't think it's going to work if we never spend anytime together."

"No, you're right." Remus took her hands and he was grateful when she didn't pull away. Instead, Leila stepped closer to him, looking up into his eyes.

"I really like you Remus," she told him, hand caressing his cheek. "I've never felt like this about…well, anyone. Except maybe my dog Boris but who wouldn't love him?"

"It's true," Remus chuckled. He'd met Leila's Australian Shepherd Boris and he was incredibly loveable.

"I just need to know that you're as committed to this as I am."

"Yes," Remus nodded, his heart soaring. "Though, I can't promise I'm not going to make mistakes and be, on occasion, moody."

"Okay," she nodded, "I can live with that."

Remus was so thankful to have found her. Leila was kind and beautiful and warm. She made him feel safe, she always laughed at his somewhat lacking jokes and she had a soothing touch. In the few months they'd spent together Remus had come to see what a light she was in his life (usually masked in darkness). Despite that all, he knew it'd never last. Soon, his promise of commitment would not be enough to curb her suspicions and their relationship would turn sour because of it. Because he could never tell her the one big truth…


Lily had walked from Gryffindor tower to the Hospital Wing with one thought in her mind – she needed to see James. She hadn't figured out yet what it was she'd say or do once they stood face to face, only that if she didn't speak to him now she might go mad. Her whole life seemed to have uprooted itself in all of twenty-four hours.

James was in one of the beds in the middle of the room. He sat up, his right eye bruised, wearing a pair of hospital pajamas. He looked over at the sound of the doors squeaking open and saw Lily immediately. There were two or three other students scattered throughout but none paid much attention to her.

"You just missed Marlene," James said when Lily reached the edge of his bed.

"How're you feeling?"

"Better now that I've been forced to down a few of Madame Pomfrey's delicious potions."

"Are you staying overnight?"

"Until she can be certain the concussion has passed."

What the hell was she supposed to say? "Hey James, just broke up with my boyfriend for you, want to date me?" She didn't even know if she was ready to jump into another relationship. Was that what she really wanted, to date James Potter?

"You look like you've got something on your mind," James said finally, drawing Lily back into the present.

"Fabian and I broke up," she blurted out, heart pounding in her chest. James' face changed from amusement to shock.

"Oh…"

"I could lie and tell you it had nothing to do with you…" she toyed anxiously with her hands, staring down at James who was now white as a ghost. "The truth is though…well…the truth is…" The truth is: I've spent the past six years seeing you as nothing but an arrogant, privileged rich kid who had the world handed to him on a platter. Not until a few months ago did I realize you made me feel things I didn't know I could feel for another person, feelings I didn't know I had inside me.

"I'm crazy about you," Lily confessed, shrugging her shoulders as if to say: no point fighting it any longer. She stared down at James, waiting in agony for him to respond, but he only stared at her, his face blank – his expression impossible to read.

"I feel I should also add that I am the least impulsive person in the world and that I've never felt this way in my life and…"

"Lily," James interrupted, watching her closely. She could barely breathe with the tension between them, the gaping unknown. This could be the beginning of everything, Lily thought, or a terrible mistake. "You don't have to explain. Not right now at least." She nodded, exhaling.

"Pull the curtains," James said, a mischievous look coming across his face.

"I am not shagging you in the Hospital Wing," Lily told him, arms crossed. James laughed.

"Believe me Evans, I would never assume you'd stoop so low."

Still not entirely sure why it was she was doing it, Lily drew the curtains around the bed, sectioning them off from the rest of the room. James moved over in the small single bed, patting the side closest to Lily.

"Will you stay with me for a little while?"

Sure, she and James had shared one passionate kiss in the darkness of the Prefects office, Lily's bloodstream still pumping with adrenaline. This was different though. Lily felt her heart race as she slipped out of her shoes and climbed onto the bed.

She laid on her side, staring into James' warm, hazel eyes. He leaned forward slowly, his lips finding hers. Lily felt excitement swirl in the pit of her stomach; her fingers sliding up the back of his neck, into his thick black hair. He knew how to kiss, that was for damn sure, and Lily couldn't help wondering what else James was good at…

They drew apart, James' hand cupping her check. He stroked the hair away from her face, smiling. "I'm not entirely convinced this isn't a dream," he confessed, Lily giggling.

"I know." In one day she'd been exposed as a cheater, broken up with her long-time boyfriend, and fallen into James Potter's bed. None of it seemed real to her yet.

Suddenly, the curtain around the bed was drawn back and there stood three of the Marauders, and Marlene, all gob smacked.

"Merlin's beard," Remus gasped. Lily jumped up immediately, sitting on the edge of the bed with a guilty look (though truthfully, she was doing nothing wrong).

"You and Fabian broke-up then?" Marlene asked. Lily nodded.

"That explains why he's locked himself in our dormitory and won't let any of us in," Peter complained.

"You're here though?" Sirius grinned. "With James, cuddling."

Lily looked over her shoulder, James looking a guilty as she did (though they both had smiles tugging at their lips).

"Are you two together?" Peter inquired excitedly.

"We haven't quite gotten to that part yet, Wormtail."

"Better than winning the game though I reckon?" Sirius was still beaming from ear to ear. "Now you've really caught the golden snitch."

"Yes," James agreed, "I have."