The letter from her father couldn't have arrived at a better time.
Lucie curled around the letter and cried for an hour.
Shaking herself, she wiped her eyes and swallowed down the rest of her feelings. He always knew the best things to say, and Lucie was so grateful to have the father she did, but the day still needed to happen. She needed to find a rhythm again, and not let herself burn out again. She needed to - no, deserved to - forgive herself for any minor mistakes. She deserved to rest.
And her chickens deserved feeding. After all, she worked so hard to build that coop, she ought to appreciate the animals that filled it.
The chickens stared up at her as she entered the coop. They looked at her with the same expression that Shane had given her when she'd emerged from the Clinic, the same, unreadable expression that made something in her heart snap.
"Shut up," she muttered to the silent chicken. It screamed at her in response. "Alright, alright, calm down."
The chicken screamed again. Lucie screamed back at it, slightly mockingly, wrinkling up her nose as she sneered at it. She was not in the mood for stroppy chickens.
She snatched up the chicken feed, vaguely scattered it for them, and began hunting for any eggs.
There was one. It was so small that Lucie had barely noticed it at first, but then her fingers brushed against the shell as she sifted through the hay, and she sighed with a mix of relief and despair.
Holding the egg lightly in her hand, she flopped backwards on to the hard, hay-strewn floor and stared at it. She finally had an animal product to sell, and it was the most ridiculously small egg.
At least her crops were fairing better. At least she wasn't completing failing to be a farmer.
Then someone called her name, and Lucie started, scrambling upright. The chicken looked at her, affronted at the movement.
"Fuck you, Diogenes," she said as she lifted the metal grill that separated the chicken from the outside world. It clucked impatiently as the metal slid slowly, slowly up into the ceiling, then ruffled its feathers and strutted outside. "You're such a dick."
She stepped back out into the daylight and hunted for the person who'd called her name.
Shane stood awkwardly at the door for five minutes, having knocked lightly on the wooden frame, waited a heartbeat, and knocked slightly louder. How long before he gave up and turned away? It was Jas's fault he was here - she'd insisted that the new farmer needed to have a guide to looking after chickens, and had drawn it herself the previous evening. She had then clung to Shane's leg until he'd promised to take it to Lucie's in the morning. And then woken him at 5 am - FIVE AM - to ask why he hadn't gone to Lucie's yet.
She was a tyrant dressed up in a pink tutu, and whilst Shane would protest to himself that he didn't care about being a pseudo-parent to Jas, here he was. At six in the morning, with Jas's chicken instruction manual, waiting outside whilst a crow sat on the fence next to him and made an unnerving amount of eye contact.
Shane turned to tell the crow to leave, and noticed someone walking up the path to Lucie's farm. Fuck, it was Harvey.
Oh. It was Harvey, holding something in his left hand.
Fuck.
Shane quickly looked away, and shoved the chicken manual in Lucie's mailbox, starting to walk quickly away from the house. He looked intensely at the ground, his hands buried in his pockets, clenched so tightly that his fingernails dug into his palms.
"Morning, Shane," Harvey greeted. Fuck. "Is she in?"
Fuck off.
"Ugh, no, no I don't think so," Shane muttered, glancing up briefly at the local Doctor. He wasn't quite smiling, but, ugh, his face was so pleasant, Shane wanted to punch it. Harvey pushed his glasses lightly, and nodded.
"You'll forgive me if I check."
Oh, I will, will I?
Shane shook himself slightly and let out a small sigh. He needed to stop being ridiculous. He'd never had a problem with Harvey before, so why the hell he felt so irritated by his existence, Shane did not now.
Yeah you do the crow seemed to say as it watched him still. The urge to punch something now extended to fowl.
"Lucie?" Harvey had moved from the house towards the coop. Shane was still stood on the farm - he ought to go, but no. He was turning around… and now he was walking the wrong way, what was wrong with him? Leave, Shane, leave now. Don't third wheel - do not stay.
Lucie blinked a couple of times before her eyes focused on Harvey. She held something cradled to her chest, her left hand curled around it so that he couldn't make out what it was. Harvey smiled at her, and she responded in kind.
"Oh, Harvey, hi. What can I do for you?" She trotted down the small ramp, and closed the gap between them. As she moved, her eyes slid off his face and focused on something behind him. Harvey glanced over his shoulder and saw Shane still there. "Shane! Hi!"
Shane mumbled something that Harvey didn't catch, but apparently Lucie did, as when Harvey turned back to her, she was smiling broadly. Harvey cleared his throat and Lucie focused back on him, her smile still broad, but slowly retreating back to a more neutral expression. He handed the envelope towards her.
"For last night," he explained as she frowned. Confusion turned to understanding, turned to worry. Harvey felt a small pang of guilt as he looked at the slightly furrowed brows. "Hey, look don't worry about it. It's not a big deal, take your time with it."
Lucie visibly forced a smile on her face, and nodded. Her eyes flickered off to the side and widened. She lifted a hand and patted Harvey on the upper arm, half thankful, half moving him past her.
"Thank you, I'm really sorry - would you excuse me?"
She didn't wait for an answer before she was moving past him, hurrying to the retreating figure of Marnie's nephew.
Harvey sighed and scratched the skin behind his moustache. He half turned, paused, then awkwardly walked in the direction Lucie had just run off in.
When he passed Shane and Lucie they were talking quickly in low tones, Lucie gesturing with the envelope containing her medical bill. Harvey shook his head slightly to himself, and moved as quickly and quietly as he could past them. They didn't even notice him.
Shane returned to Marnie's farm and sat down heavily at the table. He wasn't fully sure what he and Lucie had fought about, but the taste of it lingered in his mouth. His heart still pounded as he pressed his hands into his skull, irritation coursing through him. He hadn't walked home so quickly in his life, but when Lucie had stormed off back to her farm, he needed to take his frustration out on something so why not the ground?
He lifted his head as something slid across the table towards him. Marnie was sat opposite him, pressing a mug of coffee into his hand. That pitying look was the last thing he needed and he stood up quickly.
He stopped. Then, sat back down again, muttered an apology and took the coffee.
"I can ask or I can distract." Marnie leant back in the chair, the wood creaking slightly. "Which would you prefer?"
Shane paused. He took a long sip from the coffee, trying not to flinch as it scalded the roof of his mouth. Swallowing difficulty, he looked up at Marnie, his fury emblazoned on his face.
"Did you know Lucie was sleeping with Harvey?"
What the hell was wrong with Shane?
He'd just started laying into her, for Yoba knows what, and before Lucie knew it, she was getting angry back at him. If he wanted her to leave him be, and stop poking around in his life, then so be it. She wasn't going to be the one to apologise, she didn't do a single thing wrong.
This was the last thing she needed right now. Barely any income, no money and now she had not just medical bills to pay off, but a pissed off Shane? Fuck that, Lucie didn't have the energy for all that. Whatever his issue was, he could work it out himself and come to her.
Anger only sustained her for so long. Then she felt the stirring of her gut and closed her eyes tightly.
No. That was not an emotion she was allowing herself to have.
