Shane opened the front door. The pounding had been somewhat frantic, and Marnie had called for someone else to get it.
Which seemed suspicious for a woman he knew to just be in her room doing nothing, but he didn't think about it at the time. At that time, he was only thinking about how stupid that letter he'd written had been. Thinking how stupid the whole thing had been.
Lucie stood outside the door, half out of breath.
The door opened and she lost her breath completely. Shane stood in front of her, looking as surprised as she felt - though why she felt shocked she didn't know. She came here to see him, to the place where he lived, so why would she be surprised that he opened the door?
She should say something.
He should say something.
What were you supposed to say when someone knocked on your door and then just stared at you?
Oh, fuck, she held the letter in her hand.
"You read Persuasion?" Lucie asked. Her heart was in her mouth, and she felt her stomach quiver with each breath she took. "When have you read any Austen?"
Shane rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.
"You said it was your favourite book." He shrugged. "I read it before we went to the grid ball game."
"You read Persuasion because of me?" She frowned. Shane chuckled awkwardly and looked at her.
"That's what you took from the letter? That I read a book?" He said incredulously. He shook his head slightly. Lucie slapped him on the chest, the letter slapping against his t-shirt in the quiet night.
"Oh, shut up. Anyone can buy a bouquet, but you bought me cacti and quoted my favourite book at me. That's…" Lucie ran out of words. She slowly smiled to herself. "I don't have the words - can I just kiss you instead?" She laughed, lifting a hand to her mouth and then moving it to back of her neck, then back to her cheek. Words, actions, it all meant nothing. Everything meant nothing.
Shane knew her, inside and out, and he decided to pick her anyway.
His hands moved to her waist, pulling her close to him, so close she could feel his heart as though it were her own, both pumping a little maniacally. His hands practically dwarfed her back, spreading across the whole width of it. She reached up and pulled his head towards hers, tangling her fingers in the soft, short strands.
She kissed him hungrily, and he returned the enthusiasm.
Lucie was barely aware of them moving, but at some point they'd moved from the door to into Shane's room. Now her back was pressed against the door, straining upwards to kiss him still. She felt the slight press of his tongue against her lips, and she parted them, as if in a moan. Her hand still grabbed at his hair, pulling his face endlessly towards hers. His hands never stayed still on her body, roaming from hips, to waist, to back, to shoulders and back. It was as though he couldn't get enough of her. Now, they were kissing there was no ending it.
When they finally pulled apart, Lucie didn't want to open her eyes. Her head stayed tilted up for a moment, lingering in the memory that had so recently been experience.
Shane watched her slowly, grudgingly open her eyes, and pressed a light kiss on to her forehead.
"Why did you stop?" She moaned, her voice barely audible. Shane lent down and kissed her cheek. She murmured her delight, his ear so close to her mouth that he felt her breath tickle the hairs that sat just above. He pressed his next kiss into her neck. The soft noise grew louder. He stowed away that little tidbit of information of a later day.
"Because," he murmured, moving his head to the other side, and kissing her neck once more. "If I didn't stop then, I don't think I'd stop at all. And Marnie and Jas are upstairs."
Lucie opened her eyes and drew his lips back to hers for a disappointingly brief kiss.
"You make an excellent argument." She drew her arms up and placed them around his neck, clinging on to him. For the first time, she was conscious of something solid pressing into her hip and felt the flush spread across her cheeks as she realised what it was. Lucie deliberately, and difficultly, dragged her focus away from the erection she could feel pressed against her, and instead concentrated heavily on Shane's hair. She hadn't expected it to be this soft. It was light, almost feathery. A thought popped into her mind and she couldn't help the giggle that burst out of her, rising in small pockets like bubbles of air lifting towards an ocean, breaking as they met the waves.
She pressed her face further into Shane's neck, trying, desperately to stifle them, but the bubbles had to break, and the attempt only made her laugh harder. Shane pulled her away from him.
"By Yoba, Lucie, I couldn't tell if you were laughing or crying there," he said, the relief etched into his face. "What is it?"
She pressed a hand to her mouth, and struggled to squash the giggles.
"It's not even -" another giggle erupted. "Fuck, it's not that funny. Just," her shoulders bounced as she pressed her lips together, then squeezed her eyes shut, forcing herself to take a deep, controlling breath. "Just. Your hair reminded me of my chicken - and Diogenes springing to mind in this moment is so something that fucker would plan."
Shane frowned. He took half a step back and scrutinised her face.
"That's the weirdest thing you've said." He shoved his hands in his pockets, awkwardly shuffling his weight between his feet. The next words came out his mouth faster than he expected. "-Don't take this the wrong way, but you're not fucking with me, are you?"
Lucie's giggles died on her lips. She looked up at Shane, not sure if she ought to be hurt or not.
"Of course not," she said. Shane looked at her for a long moment, taking in the softening in her eyes, the slight furrow of her brow. Watched her gaze hold his, not wavering for a moment. "Shane. It was just a stupid thought."
"Sorry," he finally muttered, dropping his gaze to the ground. "It just sounded like, I don't know, like -"
"- like I was laughing at you, and had to think of an excuse off the top of my head?" Lucie supplied when words failed him. Shane didn't answer, which was answer enough.
Lucie closed the distance between the two of them, and placed a hand on his cheek.
"Look at me," she whispered, running her thumb along stubble-free section of his cheek. "Shane, look at me." He dragged his gaze to hers. Her gaze was so intense, so fierce that he glanced away almost as soon as he looked at her. But her call to look at her sounded once more, and he forced himself back to her eyes.
"I'm sorry," he started.
"Don't you dare," Lucie talked over his apology with a voice stronger than he'd heard from her. "try to apologise. I'm only saying this so you can't convince yourself otherwise - I want to be with you. On your good days and your bad days, and every moment of everyday. I'd pick you every time. I - fuck it, - I love you, and I want my goddamn time with you. So, don't convince yourself that I'm messing with you. Because I can deal with you not feeling the same, but I can't cope with you pushing me away for such a stupid reason."
Shane shut her up by kissing her. Normally Lucie hated that kind of thing, but she'd let it slide just this once.
His fingers grazed her neck, and she pulled back once more.
"Wasn't I leaving?"
"Uh huh," Shane murmured against her mouth. "But, then you said words."
It was over an hour before they both managed to gather the resolve to leave.
Shane did compromise with her by walking her home, and promising to come back to his own bedroom. Alone.
The evening was light and airy. The stars spread across the sky like a careless child had splattered paint with a flick of their hand. It was strange to think that these tiny pinpricks of light had travelled across the universe, just to look down on two humans walking across fields.
Their hands swung together, almost in unison, fingers lightly brushing each other. Neither gathered the courage to talk the other's hand in theirs, so they were just left with the brief brushes of skin against skin. It was enough.
This moment was enough. The warm breeze blew past them, the soft noises of the woodlands comforting, not ominous. It was quiet, but not silent, as though the world had hushed just for them, as though it had turned away to leave them in their quiet togetherness.
Shane couldn't let go of something Lucie had said. I want my time with you.
He glanced down at her, and she turned to him, as though she'd heard him think it. The smile that lifted her eyes warmed his heart, and Shane gathered the courage to take her hand in his. Her smile grew, and she squeezed his fingers lightly.
The smile lingered on both their faces until they fell asleep that night, regrettably, in separate beds.
A/N: I want my time with you is straight up stolen from an art installation I saw in Kings Cross last year. I forget the artist's name. It was in pink neon lettering in mid air and it was cool af
