Lily woke slowly and then all at once, thinking at first she might be dreaming. It was dark out, the middle of the night, but she could hear someone retching in the bathroom beside her room. Rubbing tiredly at her eyes she climbed out of bed and stuck her head around the door, blinking out into the hallway. It was quiet, but for the sound of the throwing up and moaning in between.

Lily realized the bathroom door was ajar and stepped forward, trying to get a glimpse at who lay within. There, draped over the toilet bowl, wearing her purple housecoat, was her mother.

"Mum?" her mother looked up, pale-faced even in the darkness.

"Oh Lily…" she reached for the toilet paper beside her to clean her mouth off.

"Have you got a stomach bug?" Lily asked. Her mother's eyes immediately filled with tears and she shook her head, sobbing. Lily rushed over, kneeling down to wrap her arms around her mother's trembling form.

"Mama? What is it? What's wrong?" Lily felt as though she were moving through a dream. Was she? Was any of this real?

"What's going on?" Lily looked up and realized Petunia was standing in the doorway, her blonde hair up in curlers.

"Petunia…" her mother looked up and as Lily looked between the two of them she saw the women share a look of understanding, they knew something that Lily didn't.

"Come on Lily, help me get her back to bed," her sister instructed, coming over to take one of their mother's arms while Lily took the other.

"What's wrong with her?" Lily didn't like the feeling she got, the awful pit which formed in her stomach, as she went through every worst-case scenario.

"Let's get her to bed and then I'll explain," Petunia told her, their mother moaning as they helped her back to her room. Petunia left quickly to grab a bucket from the closet, which she put beside the bed in case their mother should be ill again.

"Get her a cold cloth," Petunia commanded, "and a glass of water too."

Lily, still utterly clueless, did as she was told. Had she caught a terrible disease? Just a bad flu she hadn't told Lily about? She suddenly hated being so far from home, missing out on the comings and goings of her family. Lily returned to the master bedroom with the towel and water, handing both to Petunia.

She stood at the end of the bed and watched as Petunia nursed their mother. "You should go back to bed Lily," she told her little sister at one point, "I'll come to find you once she's asleep."

Lily hesitated but followed her sister's advice nonetheless, wandering back down the hall towards her bedroom like a zombie. Part of her hoped that if she closed her eyes and drifted back asleep reality would return. Her mother would be happy and healthy, humming downstairs in the kitchen as she made breakfast.

Lily did fall back asleep and when she woke the room was filled with dull morning light and Petunia was leaning over her. For a moment, Lily forgot about the events of the evening but then it hit her like a wave.

"What's wrong with her?"

"She's ill," Petunia explained vaguely.

"With what?"

Her sister sighed heavily and then sat down on the edge of the bed, looking defeated.

"We found out early in the Fall that she was sick," Petunia went on, eyes focusing on her lap. "She didn't want you to worry while you were away at school."

"Worry about what?" Lily felt like she was going to be sick her nerves were so bad.

"Lily, mum has cancer," Petunia told her. "It started in her breast but we caught it late - she caught it late. One of the doctors from the hospital she works at is managing her care but...the cancer has spread into her bones. She's been going through chemotherapy, which is why she gets so ill."

Lily's head was spinning. Cancer? Her mother was a nurse, how had she managed to miss the warning signs? Why had no one told her that the situation was so serious? She'd been home six days now, nearly a week, and no one said a thing. Her mother had told her she was on holiday leave, was that a lie?

"Is she…" Lily's voice cracked and she failed to finish the sentence. She didn't want to break down, not yet and especially not in front of her sister.

"Dying?" Petunia inquired, her voice flat. "Well, Doctor Ralph still has some hope, perhaps, that with a more aggressive treatment she'll have more time…"

"How much time?"

"If we're lucky one year, maybe two." Lily's stomach sank in horror.

"That's...best case?" Her bottom lip wobbled as she tried to hold back the tears pushing forth.

"Yes," Petunia nodded grimly. "I'm afraid so…"

Lily thought she might be sick. Just the thought of it, the short time left together, made Lily tremble. With two years at best Lily feared her mother would never see her marry nor live long enough to meet her grandchildren, not ones from Lily at least.

"I know it's difficult news," Petunia went on, "but we must stay strong for mummy's sake." Lily's vision blurred in and out of focus.

"Okay," she agreed mindlessly.

"It'll be okay, she's not always going to be so ill...the treatment is just quite shocking to the system at first."

Lily wished then that she was anyone else. She wanted to refresh, to find an easier life than the one she'd been given. She wanted to close her eyes and wake up to find it all a terrible, terrible dream.

"Lily?" Petunia's voice broke through Lily's consciousness.

"Sorry?"

"Would you like to do something nice tonight?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I was thinking maybe dinner with our fellows."

Lily had never been so confused. "Vernon and James, you mean?" It was a horrific image, the four of them.

"Well, you mentioned introducing him and it might be nice, to get our minds off of everything."

"But mum-"

"She has a treatment tonight. I've already called Linda and she's agreed to take her. She prefers Linda anyway, she's more relaxed when we're not around to worry about her." Linda Owens was their mother's dearest friend and a fellow nurse. Still, Lily didn't feel much like letting her mother out of her sight at the moment.

"Well, I'd have to see if James is free."

"Let me know before noon, I'll have to call Vernon on his lunch break and it must be twelve sharp."

Lily still felt rather dazed, "alright," she agreed, shocked by her sister's kindness. Lily was a sucker where Petunia was concerned - she couldn't help but soak up any small drop of kindness. She'd have been better to stand up for herself, to push back against Petunia's frequent cruelty, but Lily had never been very brave where her sister was concerned.


Six days they'd been in London and Mary had been relishing in it. She and Emmeline had ordered in food most nights snuck into the downtown bars with their charmed IDs and spent the mornings sleeping in late. It was a lovely break from reality though one which quickly came caving in on Mary when she received a letter from her little brother, begging her to come over for lunch the following day.

"I think you should go," Emmeline told her when Mary gave her the letter to read. The two girls were sitting on the couch, a steaming box of pizza waiting for them on the coffee table. "He's your little brother and he's asking you because it's important to him."

"Maybe she's just put him up to it," Mary shrugged, assuming the worst. "She needs something from me."

"He promised Bobby wouldn't be around, that's a good sign."

"Yes, but she will." Mary couldn't even say her name. She was no mother, not to her at least, and she dreaded the fact that her brother was still trapped in her clutches. It was her dream to rescue him, to return from Hogwarts and find a place for the two of them to live together, a solid family for once.

In the end, Emmeline convinced Mary. She even dressed her for the occasion, forcing Mary to wear her plaid skirt and a brown turtleneck sweater. Mary's chestnut locks were held back with a blue satin headband, which she adjusted anxiously as she stood waiting on the doorstep. It was Patrick who answered, grinning from ear to ear when he saw his big sister.

"You came." He threw his arms around her. "I didn't think you would."

"I'd never miss a chance to see you." Mary handed her brother a poorly wrapped present, "Happy Christmas," she smiled at him, shocked at the height he'd gained since the summer.

They stepped inside and there Mary saw her, standing in the doorway of the sitting room with Clara on her hip. Luckily, there was no time for reunions as Teigan came rushing down the stairs, bringing with her a handful of drawings. Teigan was four, the older of her mother and Bobby's daughters, and a ray of sunshine. She'd never been anything short of adoring to Mary and looked up to her as a big sister, even if her head was likely to be filled with poison about Mary from her father once she was old enough.

"Patrick told me you were coming so I drew these just for you!" Teigan exclaimed, proud of herself as she thrust the pictures into Mary's hands.

"I can't wait to hang them up in my dorm room." There was no hanging of anything on the walls of the Hogwarts dormitories but Teigan need not know that. In her mind, Mary's walls should be plastered with paintings at this point.

"I've set the table for lunch," her mother finally spoke, "if you'd like to come into the dining room now."

Mary felt a terrible sense of regret as she followed her little brother down the hall and through the swinging door which led into the dining room. The room was in fact set for lunch, teapots arranged, trays of finger sandwiches and scones. It was her mother's talent truly - a spot of afternoon tea she'd always call it.

The table was covered in a green and red patterned tablecloth, holiday-themed. Mary took her usual seat at the table, right in the middle, Patrick on one side of her, Teigan the other, Clara in her high chair across the table. The only person missing was Bobby, sat at the opposite end of the table to her mother, though Mary didn't miss him.

"So, how was your first term?" Her mother inquired as if it were any old afternoon.

"Fine," Mary replied.

"That's not true, your friends got kidnapped," Patrick cut in. Mary had to resist the urge to roll her eyes.

"Yes, well, that was rather unsettling but everyone is fine now."

"Why were they kidnapped?"

"It's a long story…"

"What's kidnapping?" Teigan inquired, mouth full of ham and cheese.

"It's...something bad," her mother explained vaguely.

"It's when someone gets lost and can't find their way home," Mary jumped in.

"Do they ever get home?" Teigan looked horrified.

"Sometimes, my friends did."

"I'm glad they came home."

Mary felt her regret simmer with her little sister's words. "Me too," she agreed, swallowing back tears.

The rest of the meal went rather well, all things considered. Mary kept her contempt for her mother at bay and she did the same, the two remaining cordial enough that everyone else was able to enjoy the meal. Later, Patrick unwrapped Mary's gift to him - a copy of The Lord of the Rings. It was one of Patrick's favourite books but she had found a copy that included drawings of particular scenes, which she charmed so that they came to life.

Patrick gave her a dark green sweater made of stringy, smooth, fabric. Mary had a feeling it was her mother who'd actually purchased it but she made no comment, thanking her baby brother with a big smooch on the cheek.

It was after the gift exchange that Rose stood up, brushing off her khaki pants, and looked to Mary.

"I have something for you too," she confessed. "Will you come with me so I can show you?"

Mary felt as though she were being led into a trap. "Where is it?" She inquired nervously.

"Just in the office, we'll be back in five," she promised. By this point, Clara had fallen asleep on the couch, wrapped up in her white blanket with leaping sheep on it, soother in her mouth. Teigan was on the floor, distracted by her large, pink dollhouse.

"Do you mind watching them, Patty?" Rose asked, smiling at Patrick. He agreed dutifully and Mary stood up to follow her mother out of the sitting room and up the staircase.

The office - Bobby's "man cave" truly - was the first door on the right off the top of the staircase. It reeked of smoke and the bookshelves which lined one wall were filled with memorabilia from Bobby's sports days - he'd played on a local football team for a few years in his youth and his office - at the age of forty-five - was still filled with memories of his teens. Her mother stepped inside first and closed the door behind Mary.

Mary sat down on the brown leather couch against the wall opposite the bookcases, crossing her legs. "Well then, what's going on?"

Her mother stood in front of her, hands clasped, eyes shifting anxiously. "The truth is I've had a lot of time to think since you left home-"

"You mean when you kicked me out?"

Her mother ignored the comment. "I haven't always been entirely honest with you or your brother," she suddenly confessed, "I think that you're old enough to know the truth."

"What truth?" Mary's stomach knotted, eager to know more. Her mother sighed heavily and proceeded to go around the desk, kneeling at the side of it where the cabinets were. She unlocked one and from within produced a stack of letters.

"Are those mine?" Mary could hear her heart pounding in her ears. "Have you hid those from me…"

Her mother approached, slowly, with shame, and Mary rose from the couch, lunging at her to reach the stack of letters in her hands.

"It's more complicated than you think Mary—"

"Why would you keep these from me?" Mary could not so much as recognize the messy scrawl across the front of the envelope. She would not have known who'd sent the letters had she not recognized the name listed above the return address: Gerry McDonald.

"You let me believe for years that my father didn't love me and all the while you were holding onto these?"

"I never said that he didn't love you. Letters or not, he knew where you two were, he could have shown up anytime and he never did. I kept them for you because I wanted you to have them when you were old enough to understand…"

"Understand? That my mother despised me so much she couldn't even allow me the chance to be happy?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I could have gone to live with him!" Mary exclaimed furiously. Years of resentment bubbling to the surface. "I could have had a home, somewhere I was wanted."

"I always wanted you," her mother insisted, "your dad was not a good husband nor father. I was trying to protect you-"

"Protect me?" Mary spat out in disbelief. "You've never tried to do anything of the sort. You kicked me out of my own home, left me to live on the streets for all you cared. That's not protection, it's cruelty."

"One day, when you have children of your own," her mother began, trying to make excuses for herself.

"When I have children I'll be nothing like you."

"Go then, go find your father and see whether or not you would have had a better life with him." Mary turned to leave but suddenly her mother was at her side, blocking the door, face flushed.

"I may not have been the perfect mother Mary, but I do love you."

Mary struggled to believe that was true. She nodded curtly, as if accepting a compliment, and stepped past Rose, letters tucked against her chest.


It was a snowy late December afternoon. Marlene was sitting on James' bed, long legs stretched out before her. Sirius was in the orange armchair across the room, sitting closer to James as the two of them watched him try on outfit choices for his date that evening. It was the most nervous Marlene had seen him in a while, throwing shirts on and off, completely uncertain of himself. She couldn't blame him, Petunia was a force to be reckoned with. Marlene had never cared for her much.

"What do we think, black turtleneck or patterned button-down?" James couldn't decide between the two.

"I think you're making a big fuss over nothing," Marlene told him straight.

"Lily made a point of telling me to dress my best."

"Button-down with the khaki pants," Sirius decided for him. The button down was new - and ironed thanks to Marlene - it had a blue paisley pattern with red stripes over top. When James looked to Marlene for confirmation she simply nodded, entirely clueless as to whether it was what Lily wanted or not. She thought that if James' outfit was truly going to make or break Lily's night she had a problem.

The room fell silent as James returned behind his divider to change into the agreed-upon outfit. It was nearing five o'clock and the dinner was scheduled for half-past. Marlene watched the clock on James' bedside tick on, her anxiety increasing. She knew for certain James' tardiness would irritate Lily more than anything.

"Get a move on it, Potter," Marlene commanded, partly for James' sake and party her own. Any time alone with Sirius was terribly uncomfortable. Truth be told, it was somewhat humiliating for her to be around him, reminded that in the end, it was he who had rejected her.

"Relax, I'll apparate, be there in flash," James assured her.

"You will not! You can use magic to get into London but you have to make it appear you've used muggle transport to get to the restaurant."

"You must be kidding?" James' head came poking around the divider. He had no glasses on, eyes narrowed as he looked across the room at Marlene.

"Do you want to make a good impression or not?"

James gave a dramatic sigh stepping out in the chosen outfit, everything perfect except for his hair - an absolute mess. Marlene rolled her eyes, rose, and directed James into his desk chair.

"We can't have you looking like you've just rolled out of bed."

"I can't help it! It'll never stay tidy."

"Hair says a lot about a person," Sirius teased James.

"The fact that your own father invested his entire life savings into a hair styling product and you can't be arsed to so much as condition yours."

"Why would I when I have you to do the work for me?" Marlene twisted open a jar of Sleekeazy's and massaged it into James' hair, styling it to sit flat at the back of his head.

"Did Lily give you any tips?" Marlene asked, trying to be as casual as possible so as not to freak out James.

"Not really no. I've heard her complain about her sister and her husband-"

"Fiance," Marlene corrected him.

"Right, Fiance, anyway, I suppose I should be mindful of my manners?"

"Yes," Marlene nodded, "and any mention of magic."

"Surely they're aware of Lily?" Sirius asked from the other side of the room, perplexed.

"Yes, but Petunia hates to be reminded. It's a great shame for her, Lily being a witch."

"She sounds like a real piece of work," Sirius grimaced.

"Anyway, it doesn't matter whether or not you like them, you have to put on a show of normalcy if this is to go smoothly. No magic, no Hogwarts, no tales of your naughtiest pranks."

"Now I'm starting to worry," James confessed, kneading his forehead.

"You'll do great," Marlene insisted, realizing it was almost time for James to leave. "Just make sure you look as though you've arrived the good old fashioned muggle way and everything will go off without a hitch."

"Yes, and hide your entire identity." Sirius was not so positive on his end of the room. Marlene glared at him and ushered James out of the desk chair.

"Come on mate, Lily's likely to be ten minutes early let's get a move on."

James started down the stairs Marlene following, Sirius taking up the rear end. They descended upon the main floor, Caroline and Alec resting in the sitting room, the radio going softly in the background. Marlene could smell Mimsy's cooking from the kitchen, warm, creamy aromas wafting out.

"Ready for your big date?" Caroline asked, looking up from her book.

"As ready as I'll ever be." James didn't have half his normal enthusiasm.

"Meeting the family is the worst bit," His father assured him smoothly, "don't sweat it."

The three teenagers filed into the kitchen, James shrugging on his coat. Mimsy was standing over the stove, boosted up on a stepping stool so she could see over the burners.

"Evening master Potter," she greeted James.

"Good evening Mimsy."

"Don't do anything I would do," Sirius instructed his friend with an encouraging clap on the back.

"You'll do fine," Marlene assured James for the hundredth time. He opened the back door and stepped out, Marlene and Sirius following as they waved him off, shouting last-minute words of encouragement at him until James disappeared into the night with one, large swoosh.

Suddenly Marlene and Sirius were alone, their eyes not quite meeting. Once upon a time, this might have been the moment the seized to find some privacy together. Not now though. Now, the very thought of that made Marlene blush. She turned to leave, headed for the door when Sirius stopped her.

"Marls." She paused, the hair on her arms standing on end.

"Please don't call me that anymore." Marlene wasn't looking at him as she made the request, thank merlin, for her face filled with pain.

"I'm sorry...I…" Sirius stumbled awkwardly over his words. "There's just something I wanted to show you," he finally said. Marlene's eyebrows quirked. "No one else knows yet."

"Now you're just pulling my leg."

"I'm not!" Sirius insisted though he wore the sly little half-smile Marlene knew well. "Honestly, I just got possession yesterday."

"Possession?"

"My own flat," Sirius produced the keys from the back pocket of his black jeans. "It's above one of the shops in Diagon Alley."

"Really?" Suddenly, weeks of awkwardness and pent up tension melted away and the pair of them were like a couple of old friends.

"Do you want to see it?"

Marlene knew the offer would lead to no good - especially when she was still feeling sore about the lack of word she'd received from Henry since the break had begun - but she accepted anyway. Partly due to her interest in the new flat, partly because she always had been and would be a sucker for Sirius Black.


James was ten minutes early, to his own astonishment, arriving at the restaurant, a quaint Italian spot, and family-run - though that was only what James had read on the laminated poster on the restaurant's front door. Lily, usually the early bird, arrived after him, coming down the road looking paler than James remembered her being the last time he'd seen her.

"Hello love." Lily came over to greet him with a kiss.

"Everything alright?" James asked.

"Fine," she assured him, though she wasn't very convincing, "Petunia and Vernon should be along soon, we can grab the table."

Inside they were given the window seat, a candle burning in the centre, and lights dimmed. James ordered a bottle of prosecco for the table right away so that they could toast to the happy couple once they arrived. That would make a good first impression, James was certain.

"Is there anything I should know?" James asked, "anything I shouldn't mention in front of them?"

Lily seemed to be in another world. She shrugged, turning to James with a strained smile - "just be yourself," she assured him, "and try not to bring up magic too much," she said the second part in a hushed tone, to keep anyone else in the restaurant from overhearing. It was strange, James realized, to hide such an integral part of his life, to whisper about magic as though it were an awful curse afflicted upon them. He'd never lived that way but it was how Lily had spent her entire life.

The rumble of a car engine caught James' attention and he looked out the window to see a blue Corvette pulling into a spot outside the restaurant. Truth be told James couldn't quite understand the interest in cars - they all looked the same to him - and he turned away with disinterest.

"That's them," Lily told him, gaze straying out the window.

James looked out once more and saw a portly man with a large, handlebar moustache, come around from the driver's side to let a thin, blonde-haired woman from the passenger's seat. Together they entered the restaurant, Vernon leading them, and joined the table.

"Vernon Dursley," the rosy-cheeked man introduced himself gruffly, meaty hand stretched towards James.

"James Potter."

"This is Petunia of course, not a Dursley yet but she will be soon enough." Petunia blushed, her dark, beady eyes darting towards Vernon with affection.

"Nice to meet you," she spoke quite curtly, extending her hand for James to shake. When they had all settled at the table the waiter returned with the bottle of bubbly that James had ordered, offering to fill glasses.

"What's this?" Petunia asked, sounding shocked - as though the sight of prosecco were offending.

"Oh, well, I thought that since the two of you are to be married soon we might all celebrate…"

"It's kind of you Mr Potter but quite unnecessary, really, this dinner is on me-"

"I can't let you do that," James interjected. He saw that his insistence only caused the colour in Vernon's neck to rise and James gave in, agreeing that Vernon could foot the bill for them all. Why hadn't Lily warned him that the bottle would only cause trouble?

They all picked up their menus and browsed silently until the waiter returned for orders, taking the menus with him so that the two couples were finally forced to face one another.

"Well then," Vernon began, refilling his empty glass of prosecco, "you go to Lily's school?"

"Yes," James nodded, not sure how much he was allowed to say. "We're in the same house."

Vernon's brow furrowed. "House? What does that mean?"

"It's some silly thing they do at their school," James heard Petunia mutter to him. He had half a mind to remind her that the tradition of being sorted into one of the four houses had long-standing significance to many people and was not to be mocked. Somehow, he held his tongue.

"Were you familiar with the last boyfriend then?" Petunia asked, changing the subject. "Fredrick?"

"Fabian," Lily corrected her sister tersely.

"Uh...yeah, we're schoolmates-"

"He didn't mind, you two becoming an item?"

James looked to Lily for assistance but she wouldn't meet his glance. "Breakups are complicated," he finally said, "but everyone is over it now."

The first round - freshly made buns with Caprese salad - was served. The distraction of eating helped to bridge the tension arising between the two sides of the table. By the time the waiter returned to collect their empty plates the silence was vanquished.

"Well then, what do you plan to do when you finish up your final year?" Vernon demanded rather than asked.

"Work for the Ministry most likely," James shrugged. For the second time in the past hour, Vernon stared at him as though he were a total idiot.

"The what?"

"It's like the government," Lily interjected, making a rare comment. James was beginning to feel more and more stranded, left to fend for himself, Lily's head somewhere miles away.

"Don't you ever want to know what it'd feel like to live in the real world?" Vernon asked, catching James off guard. "To earn money and see it get you things? I mean look out there, you see that? That car? I dreamt of that car for years. I pictured her in my head from the time I was eight years old and I worked for eight long years in order to earn the savings to buy her. I've never been prouder of anything in my life," Vernon looked at the parked car outside with more admiration than he did Petunia. "That is what living in the real world buys you."

"With all due respect sir, I do live in the real world, it's just a different one from your own." That infuriated Vernon more than James had intended and he watched from across the table as his face turned beet red. Vernon, who had just gulped back his third glass of prosecco, reached for the empty bottle, grunted with disapproval upon realizing the alcohol was done and then proceeded to hound down the waiter and ordered two shots of whiskey for "the men."

It was a test, of course, the whole night had been, one big jerk off to see who was the better man. James wasn't too invested in his masculinity but Vernon's challenge, his desire to prove James his inferior, filled him with rage and worse - a burning desire to prove Vernon Dursley wrong.

The men did their shots, Vernon taking pride in the fact that James winced afterwards and he didn't. You've got to grow some chest hair boy, he kept teasing with a big, smug grin. Toughen up. James kept waiting for Lily to step in, to tell them all to calm down, but she never did. She sat there, observing, passing mindful glances at James here and there, but not once did she object.

James was buzzing with adrenaline by the time their food arrived, Vernon's poking driving him mad. His ego got the better of him - it always had - and he could feel himself growing dangerously close to the ledge at which point, there'd be no telling what he could be convinced to do in order to prove himself.

James picked away at his food - spaghetti carbonara - trying to calm his thoughts when…

"You're never going to get a car like that frolicking about in your world." The way he said it, your world, drew such a clear line between them. "If you let childhood fantasies take over your life you'll never get anywhere, you have to believe me. I'm telling you all of this for your own good." Vernon had ordered himself chicken parmesan and scarfed it down as he spoke. Had Petunia not taken the precaution of fastening a napkin about his collar he would have spilt tomato sauce all down his front.

"If you were to get your act together, maybe get some psychiatric help, you could really turn your life around. I could even put in a good word for you at the office, get you a job. One day you could be the owner of a fancy new car." Vernon's eyes twinkled as he mentioned his car for the hundredth time.

"I could buy myself a bloody corvette if I fancied one," James snapped, finally losing his temper, "I don't care for cars." Vernon's lips curled into a snarl. He wiped his mouth on the sleeve of his blue collared shirt, leaving behind a smear of red.

"I don't know who you think you are," he began, wagging one of his bloated fingers in James' direction.

"I think I am just as important as you are, whether or not I drive a fancy car. I think it's a person's character that makes them important, not the amount of money in their pocket."

"Well, you would think that," Vernon retorted snarkily, "you have no idea what it feels like to have money."

"You don't know what you're talking about," James scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"Why, I never-" Vernon began, horrified, as if James had offended the Queen herself.

"I come from money," James tried to explain, "in fact, I've got more money to my name than you'll likely ever save." It was an arrogant dig, entirely unnecessary and yet, James' ego - his lesser half - forced it out.

"How dare you," Petunia gasped.

"I just meant that I-"

"Yes, I think we all got it, loud and clear." Vernon was fuming, steam practically coming from his ears.

"Look, you're the one whose been bragging about money all night," James' excuses only dug him into a deeper hole. "I didn't mean to offend you Vernon-"

"That'll be Mr Dursley to you," he replied coolly. "Petunia, I believe we should be going."

"Oh come on," Lily interjected, "he meant no offence, Vernon."

"He's mocking us!" Petunia's voice was shrill.

"I'm not, I swear-"

"Don't lie, be a man about it," Vernon bristled. James would've liked to man up and punch Vernon Dursley in the face.

"Come on," Petunia insisted this time, rising from her seat to get her jacket from the coat rack behind them. As she put it on she turned back to face Lily and said, "It's disappointing, though not surprising at all, that this is the kind of person you'd introduce to your family."

"Tunney, please, it's all just a misunderstanding—"

"The only misunderstanding here is mine. I cannot believe I ever thought you could be normal. That you might actually try for once." Lily's face fell.

"Petunia," Vernon said, standing now, his coat on as he motioned towards the door. He'd left a pile of bills upon the table - another poke - and made a point of apologizing to the waiter on James' behalf - the waiter had no clue what he was talking about. As the door swung shut behind the couple James turned to Lily, heart in his throat.

"Lily I'm...I'm really sorry I know I screwed that up." How it had escalated so quickly James could not be sure. Vernon and Petunia had seemed intent on pushing buttons from the start. James hadn't gone about insulting their lifestyle, why was it okay for Vernon to do so in such a blatant manner?

James hadn't realized Lily was crying, seeing as her head was down, but he heard a quiet sniffle from her after a few moments of silence. He leaned over, running a hand along her back but she pulled away. The rebuke shocked James.

"I know they can be pricks but I...I thought you understood…" she looked up at him, her eyes red-rimmed and her cheeks wet. James couldn't escape the guilt which came with knowing he was the one responsible for making Lily feel that way…

"I knew your sister could be difficult, yeah, and you've complained about Vernon before but I...I didn't expect them to be quite so…"

"This was a mistake," Lily shook her head.

"What?"

"This whole stupid dinner. I knew that this would happen. Knew it."

"Are you suggesting that you came into this expecting me to fuck it up?"

"Not in those words exactly." Lily used her napkin to clean up under her eyes.

"Is that how you think of me?" James' guilt had washed away replaced by the feeling that one of his worst fears was true - Lily would never truly see him as a good man. He'd always be the arrogant bastard who annoyed her for years.

"That's not what I said-"

"Would you have expected Fabian to fuck it up? Did you, when he met the family? I bet you didn't have a worry in the world. I mean who wouldn't want to bring a guy like that home to their family?"

"Stop it," Lily insisted, "it's not fair. My relationship with Fabian was different, he was different-"

"Better is what you mean to say," James sneered. "You didn't even try to help me, the things he said-"

"Oh please," Lily rolled her eyes, "he barely scratched the surface. I warned you that they don't like magic."

"You didn't give me any warning!" Now, James' voice rose loud enough that a couple of heads turned. "I came in blind, with nothing but a simple suggestion to not bring up magic, which I didn't, though I had no idea you expected me to hide my life from them, to lie…"

"I never told you to lie."

"It's what you wanted," James snapped. "It's what he did, isn't it? Fabian? Pretended he didn't come from a pureblood family to make everyone more comfortable?"

"I never asked that of him." She couldn't deny the truth though, that she appreciated Fabian, for lying on her behalf without needing to be told. James on the other hand…

"It's never going to change, is it? The way you see me. I will never not be a loser in your eyes - some arrogant, privileged rich kid who doesn't know a thing about the real world. I hoped that maybe, when you finally came to me, that it meant you'd changed your mind…"

"James…" Lily's voice had softened.

"I'm going to go." He rose abruptly from his chair, going around the table to get his coat.

"We can't leave it like this," Lily insisted, rising with him.

"I just need some time to think," James told her, though not quite meeting her glance. "Right now I can't do that around you it just…" his voice cracked, "it hurts."

"James, please, let's just talk about it-"

"The fact that you can't even correct me, you can't even say I'm wrong."

"You won't give me the chance."

"If you meant it, I wouldn't need to."


Sirius and Marlene landed in an alleyway a few buildings down from his new home. He led the way through the snow-dusted streets of Diagon Alley to Bilba's Shop of Wonders - an antique store - above which Sirius' flat was located.

"Cute," Marlene commented, "not far from The Leaky Cauldron either."

"That was the real selling point." Sirius used his new key to unlock the front door then it was up the grey carpeted staircase to the tight landing, the door on the left marked Flat: A being his. There was no light and Sirius struggled to find the keyhole as Marlene watched over his shoulder. It was the closest they'd been to each other in weeks, cramped together on that little landing.

"Has James been here yet?" Marlene asked once Sirius got the door open. He stepped inside first, his footsteps echoing through the empty space.

"I haven't even told him I've got a place yet."

"Is he upset you're moving out?"

"Probably," Sirius shrugged. James would never tell him straight if it were true, he'd hide his feelings and let Sirius move forward as he knew his friend needed to.

It was a spacious one-bedroom apartment. They entered into the open concept living and dining room space. Hardwood floors, a marble fireplace, windows lining one wall so that during the day the room was flush with light. The bedroom was carpeted and only big enough for a queen-sized bed and a dresser but it was enough room for Sirius - an ensuite bathroom attached.

"This place is gorgeous. Who knew you had such good taste?"

Marlene explored the apartment with wonder. She stepped into the kitchen, narrow space with orange tiled counters, and travelled into the bedroom, examining the view from the window and the size of the tub in the ensuite.

"You've got my stamp of approval," she told him once they'd returned to the living room. Sirius crouched down before the fireplace and with a flick of his wand sent flames shooting up from the logs inside of it.

"Want to help me break in the new home?" he asked and pulled a joint he'd rolled earlier from his back pocket. Marlene's eyebrows rose.

"Won't Caroline and Alec wonder where we've gone off too? We did say we'd be back for dinner…"

"They won't care," Sirius assured her, though truthfully he was just eager for them to spend some time alone.

"Come on," Sirius encouraged her, using his wand to light up the joint. "You know you want some." He was sitting on the floor, legs stretched out towards the fire. Marlene rolled her eyes and yet joined him still. For a little while, they just sat there, passing the joint between them, Sirius' eyes focusing on the flames of the fire.

"When will you officially move in?" She inquired.

"I'll start moving things in slowly before we head back to Hogwarts, probably not until the summer though."

"You'll be a chick magnet with a bachelor pad like this." Marlene didn't look at him as she made the comment, her head turned away towards the windows. There's only one chick I really want to attract with it…

"Yeah," Sirius grinned, "maybe if I'm lucky. And you? How's Henry?"

"Do you really care?" Marlene looked at him now, slightly amused. Truthfully, Sirius would rather ram his head into a wall than hear about what a wonderful man Henry was. He'd suck it up for Marlene's sake though.

"You seem to be getting serious," he tried his best to play it casual despite the knotting of his stomach.

"We've had one date," Marlene corrected him, "besides, that might be the end of it. I've hardly heard from him since…"

"There's no way he isn't interested," Sirius assured her, "he'd have to be an idiot not to fall for you." The last part was a mistake, of course, a truth he'd let slip out without thinking. Marlene turned on him with narrowed eyes.

"Coming from the guy who said I was only a shag?"

"I shouldn't have said that," Sirius couldn't take back his words now though. They were there, real and hanging in the space between he and Marlene, reminding both of them that things between the pair could never be simple.

"You did though," Marlene told him, "you seemed to mean it too." When he opened his mouth to apologize she shook her head, silencing him. "Let's not make a big deal out of it, I'm a big girl, I can take it."

"It wasn't true," Sirius continued, digging himself into a deeper hole. What an idiot he was when it came to Marlene, always saying the wrong thing and doing that which he knew would cause chaos… "How could you ever be just a shag?"

"You know what I was just remembering?" Marlene said, changing the subject quickly. "The night you finally left home. You turned up on the Potters' doorstep pale and shaken. No one knew what to do to help except pile you with tea and biscuits."

That wasn't entirely true. Marlene knew what to do. While everyone else had gone to bed she'd come to find him, to make sure he was okay, and when she'd seen he wasn't she'd thrown her own pride out the window and crawled beneath the covers with him, holding him in her arms until his shaking stopped. They'd both agreed to never mention it again, not even to James.

"That was the first time I really saw you. The real you. The person you keep hidden beneath all those defensive layers." Sirius hated when she tried to analyze him like that, to suggest that something good existed beneath. He wasn't sure he agreed.

"That feels like a lifetime ago."

"I know," Marlene nodded, "for me too."

"You always make it look so easy you know? Doing the right thing. You just know what to do, you always have. Maybe some people are just born better than others."

"You are a good person Sirius."

"You might be the only person who thinks so." Even James, his best friend, saw the darkness which lurked within Sirius. It scared him, it was why he'd made him promise to stay away from Marlene, why despite loving him like a brother he could never quite trust Sirius with the ones he loved.

"Thanks for coming tonight," Sirius said to her now. He was lying down, propped up on his side facing Marlene. She was sitting with her knees drawn into her chest, arms wrapped around them.

"I'm glad I did," she said, her voice no louder than a whisper. He couldn't take his eyes off of her just then, the firelight casting an orange hue against her freckled skin, her blonde hair continuously slipping in front of her eyes so that she tucked it behind her ears every few seconds. She looked to him, eyes rounding curiously.

"What?"

"Nothing," Sirius could feel the heat rising in his skin, he'd been caught. "It's just…" did he dare tell her the truth? "You're beautiful."

"Oh Sirius," Marlene sighed, "we can't go down this road again."

"You asked," he shrugged, looking away, his stomach sinking. What the hell was wrong with him? Pulling her in one minute and pushing her out the next. He was supposed to be letting her go, allowing her to move on with Henry, and yet his most selfish impulses seemed to rule him now.

"It's not fair," she reminded him, "you get to drop in whenever you like, you get to say what you want one minute and pretend it was all a lie the next. I don't want that."

"I know." If he was a better man he would have told her then - they were lies, every time I've ever tried to push you away has been a lie and it's all because of one stupid promise I made to James when we were fifteen…

"I don't understand why it's so hard for you to be honest with me."

"I don't think you'd ever look at me the same." It was the most honest he could be without truly cracking open.

"Why would you say that?" Her face fell.

"I'm shit, you know that," he smirked to try and soften the truth, "I'm no good, never have been, and you? Merlin, you're the definition of a good fucking person. I look like bloody Mordred next to you."

"I don't agree…"

"You do, you just won't admit it," Sirius insisted. He was certain of the fact - evil was in his blood and in his name. He could run from it all his life but he'd never escape the diseased bit of him that would always belong to his family and the upbringing he'd had.

"Sirius," Marlene was suddenly right beside him. She took his face into her hands and delicately forced him to turn his head and face her. "I've seen who you are, even if you don't realize it yourself. You're a good person." He shook his head, a lump forming in the back of his throat...

There was a long moment of silence and then, to Sirius' surprise, Marlene leaned in and kissed him. The force of the kiss sent Sirius tumbling backwards and Marlene went with him as they rolled over, her landing on top. They shagged - inevitably - and ended up naked on the floor before the fireplace, covering themselves with nothing but their coats to keep warm. Marlene lay in Sirius' arms for a while, her head against his chest, and then without warning rose and began to dress.

"Are you leaving?" Sirius tried to keep the disappointment from his voice.

"No but I'm bloody starving and I doubt there's anything edible in this place."

"Leaky Cauldron's open."

"Let's go," she agreed without hesitation.

Just like that, for one night, everything was as it had been before Sirius had fucked it all up.


Note: The blowout between Vernon/Petunia and James/Lily is a canon event which I read about through Pottermore. Vernon doesn't play when it comes to his fancy! blue! Corvette!