Do you trust me? Chapter 5 To trust or not to trust?
Two days had passed since Alucard last saw Crina and he thought about all that happened within the past few days. At first she seemed suspicious to him, thinking she was someone who was just trying to be friendly to try and take advantage of him, yet she did and said things that made him think otherwise. From mentioning her relation to Edmund Hunyadi, the grandfather-figure that he grew up with all those years ago, to the brash yet bold move of slicing her neck open just to heal it with alchemy, and the very fact that alchemy can be used to heal wounds in the first place. All of his thoughts swirled around the idea of such a person coming into his life. He was curious about her and did want to know more, especially tales about her 11 siblings, if they did exist, but he was still unsure about her. She wanted to earn his trust, to help him see the good in humans, as she 'has seen both the good and evil in humanity', but yet there was something that he felt like she was hiding, like there was more to this than meets the eye. There was no doubt to him that she was smart, as he recalled how she was able to tell that he didn't trust her from his actions, indicating that she could read body language, and that made him both curious and cautious. But she was also respectful, taking responsibility for her actions, even the ones that were out of her power, such as how Sumi and Taka's actions impacted him, all from what she says was the curse she placed on them. Alucard felt so conflicted by all this, to trust her or to not trust her, even after she asked him if he did trust her, and the handshake they shared. He did feel confident at the time, but now that a few days had passed, he wasn't sure if he should have jumped on to it so soon.
He let out a loud groan of exhaustion as he sat at the table, picking his spoon at the bowl of fruit that he had gathered for breakfast. He had finished the fish he ate earlier, but for some reason, he can't bring himself to finish the fruit. Alucard then turned his gaze to the two dolls on the counter.
"What do you think of her Trevor? Is she trustworthy?" he asked the doll that looked like Trevor.
"'Well the very fact that she almost killed herself in front of you to prove she isn't a threat is a good enough sign to me. Not too often you find one willing to go to such lengths to prove a point. If she were a man though, I would find her to be the type that I would punch in the face, but then again, that's just me. Regardless, she would have to earn your respect, but she seems to be willing to do anything to get it. Almost like that of a dog wanting to please its master. Best to stay alert with her, at least until she does something else so crazy to prove her point.'" Alucard said, speaking in his best interpretation of Trevor, thinking of what he would say in a time like this.
The young Dhampir then nodded his head, thinking that it would be exactly what Trevor would have said, or at least something close to it. He then turned to look at the Sypha doll.
"And what about you, Sypha?" he asked the doll.
"'Well, she certainly is nice, I mean she was willing to share her lunch with you and was willing to help make a garden so you wouldn't travel so far out. She's considerate, and I can see that she cares. I think you should give her a chance. The only real thing she asked for was permission to get the flowers, unlike those two who wanted to learn about killing vampires only to trick you. She doesn't want to get too close, that could mean that she wants you to get more comfortable around her, and she won't react until you're ready. Open yourself up a little to see what happens, it may be better than you think'" he finished, trying to think of what Sypha would've said.
Alucard nodded, sighed a little and went on to finish eating his fruit. He would have to consider this, as these thoughts may be his best options for the time, despite the trust in himself wavering a bit. However, even after everything he went through, he was rather glad for the company. Even after he chose to embrace his lonely lifestyle, there was just something about having someone else around that made things interesting.
As he finished his meal and turned to wash the dishes, Alucard thought back to the time he spent with Edmund in the library as a child. From the different stories that he would tell, making different voices to symbolize different characters, to the times of playing hide and seek among the bookshelves, Alucard fondly remembers the man who he saw as his grandfather figure. He also thought back to the day before the man left the castle, the last time he truly saw Edmund, all those years ago. It's a memory that he can recall like it was yesterday.
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Adrian was only 10 when Edmund left the castle. That was one of the saddest days that he can recall.
He was in the kitchen that morning, unsure of what to think about the conversation his mother gave him the previous night, telling him that Edmund would be going away and not return to the castle. He couldn't sleep because he felt like something was being torn from him. He had experienced death before after spending time with his mother and with her patients in Lupu village, but for some reason, Edmund leaving gave him the same feeling, almost like a part of him was dying.
He was snapped out of his thoughts at the sound of footsteps coming through the halls toward the kitchen. Feeling a bit of panic, little Adrian quickly hid inside the pantry to try and not be detected. He got many a scolding by his mother before for staying up too late, but for him to be up so early would be a different story. But, instead of his mother, Adrian saw the man in question, Edmund, enter the kitchen.
He was lithe in body type, skinny but having traces of a formerly fit body in regards to his arms and legs. Fair skin dotted with a few freckles upon his cheeks gave him something of a friendly disposition. Surrounding his face was a salt and pepper French folk beard shaping his round face. His eyes of emerald green looked downcast and hollow, black circles around his wrinkles indicating that sleep was lacking to him for quite some time. His gaze appeared to be in deep thought while his usually slick black hair was now unkempt and messy, a few strands covering the wrinkles along his forehead. His normal attire of long brown monk-like robes were replaced with that of travelers clothes, simple but warm, as it was needed for this time of winter. The old man pulled up a chair and sat down, resting his elbows on the table with his hands clasped together in a prayer-like position.
Adrian peeked out of the pantry to look at the man he called Old Grand and he saw nothing but a face of sadness, and what he would later understand to be regret. Wanting to spend as much time as possible before the terrible time when Edmund left for good, Adrian came out of the pantry and looked at the sad man.
"Old Grand?" he asked, coming into the small light of the kitchen.
Edmund jumped a little at hearing that voice and turned to the little boy, "Adie?" he asked, shocked to see the boy up this early. "What are you doing up? It's nearly dawn" he said, concerned.
Adrian rubbed his eye a little, "I can't sleep….I…I was told that you were leaving us.." he said, trying hard to hold back the lump that was starting to form. "Is it true? Please say it isn't" he said, pleading to the man before him.
Edmund blinked a few times before sighing with his face turning from surprise to sadness. "It's true my boy….I'm sorry" he said. As he looked at the boy, he gave a sad smile, turned and pushed out his leg, patting it a little, "Come Adie, sit on my lap" he said, being the loving and caring old man that the boy knew.
Adrian did go and sit on his lap, moving to get comfortable on the seat. He then turned to look at his grandfather figure.
"You may be a bit young to understand this, but…..your family isn't the only family that I have…." Edmund started, unsure of how to start this conversation.
Little Adie tilted his head, "What do you mean?" he asked, curious.
Edmund then pulled out something from around his neck. After he moved his hand a bit, it revealed a rather large locket. What was inside was a drawn picture of a man that looked like a younger version of Edmund, a lovely young lady with waist length light hair that was in two long thin braids and a smile that reminded Adie of his mother, and a small child, looking no more than 5 years old, and clearly a girl, one who had her father's black hair.
"Who are they, Old Grand?" asked the little Dhampir.
"This is a portrait of my wife and daughter, the family I had before I moved to your family" Edmund said as he used his finger to point to the woman, "That is my wife, Anna," then moved his finger to the little girl, "and that is my only daughter, Maria" he said as he then pulled his finger back.
"What do you mean by moved, Old Grand?" Adie asked.
Edmund paused a little and thought about what to say, "Well…..let's just say that my family name owes your father a debt that I had to pay. I had to choose to either work with your father and serve to pay off that debt, allowing my family to be safe and free…..or I could have chosen my family and your father would have…..forced all of my family to serve. I chose to go alone to allow my family the freedom to live their own lives…..but….at the cost of being there for my own daughter" he said, his voice slowly growing heavy with sadness. "That was almost 40 years ago to this day…." He added. "With the distance mirror your father gifted me a few years back, I watched my wife and daughter live life….without being able to be there for them. And as a result of my service to your father, my wife passed away…..I told him that I wanted to be with my daughter, but…your father and I had a philosophical disagreement…..and I couldn't leave" he said. Edmund went silent then for a few minutes.
"But….what happened to Maria, Old Grand?" asked Adie.
Edmund then heaved a heavy sigh, "She had to grow up on the streets…..all alone…without either her mother or her father….but she learned how to survive and found a few friends in a place that helps others…but now, I have seen that she is married, and with children" he said, a smile on his face, "She finally found her happiness…..but….I want to try and make up to her before it's too late for me….and thanks to your mother, I now have the freedom to go and find her…." He paused, looking down, "But at the same time….I don't want to leave you, my boy…for you are what made the decision to leave tough….I don't want you to feel alone, but your mother wants to try and spend more time with you….so she spoke to your father to see if I could go" he added. "He was reluctant….but your mother eventually won the conversation…..so now….I can go" he finished, casting his eyes downward.
Adrian sensed his sadness, but he also understood the sadness of being away from family, putting himself in Edmund's shoes. During his time with his mother, he had witnessed the loss of family or the being separated from family due to illness and he sensed the pain that came from being apart. And now, here, his own grandfather figure, was feeling that very same pain, but unlike the others, he had endured it all these years, just for paying off a debt to his father that was unknown to the child dhampir.
"Old Grand…..I….I don't want anyone to be hurt by this…..but….I don't want to lose you either…." Adie said as he looked at the man before him.
The old man just chuckled as he heard Adrian say that, "My boy, you won't lose me. I'll still be with you" he said as he then pointed to the area where the boy's heart was. "…right in here. As long as you hold me in your heart and don't forget me, I will be with you, even if I'm not here" he said.
Adrian touched the place on his chest and smiled, believing in that idea.
"But…" Edmund started, "there is also something else you should remember me by" he said. He then moved to put Adrian down on the ground and stood up, "Follow me, my boy" he said. Slowly but surely, the elderly man moved from the kitchen to the hallways to the main lobby, with Adrian following behind as close as he could. Soon, both the old man and the little boy were outside the castle. Edmund then made a move to sit down on the top stairs and Adrian shortly followed. As Edmund looked into the distance, the sun started to rise up from the mountains in the distance.
"If there is one thing about me that I want you to remember Little Adie, it's this" Edmund started, looking out at the sunrise, "Always remember, to be open when you meet people. Don't just judge them right away like how your father does at times, but take time to get to know people. There are people from all walks of life with different views on how what life is like. Rather than see it as a danger, see it as a learning opportunity, as a chance to expand your knowledge. You would be able to understand people better by learning from them about their cultures and livelihoods" he then paused, taking in the first morning rays of light before continuing, "Whether or not you want to include their ideals in your life is up to you, but, to be sure that people do not force their intentions, always make sure to be true to yourself and tell them that if that makes them happy then it's fine. But never have others force themselves upon your beliefs. There are people out there who will force their intentions on others simply because they view their own ideals as the only right way to live. Those people…are nothing more than cowards who refuse to face reality. Just as your mother had said, the world is changing and people are changing as well. But there will still be those who only see one way as the right way and will do anything to force their way upon others, forcing others to give up their lives. That is no way to live, as I tried to tell your father when he forced me into service, all those years ago…." He said, looking down a little. "But no matter what, Little Adie, never force your intentions on anyone, nor have others force their intentions on you, as no man nor beast can ever control the will of others. Do you understand, my boy?" he asked the little boy as he turned to him.
Little Adie took in the man's words and thought hard about what he heard. He understood what Edmund was saying, but there was still something that didn't make sense to the little boy.
"But, Mother usually tells her intentions to those she helps. Is that a bad thing?" Adie asked, a little confused.
Edmund turned to the little boy and then turned his head in thought, "Well, no. It's different if a person is seeking help for something they can't understand, such as a pain they can't cure or an illness they don't know about. I was talking more along the lines of religious inquisition or, in the case of your father, forced debts to pay. What your mother is doing is helping people for the future. And you may come across someone who would be willing to help you with your future, even if you don't know it. But just as I said before, try to be open to what they want to help you with, because you never know if what they offer will help you in the long run" he said. He then gave a chuckle, "That's actually how I met my wife. I saved her when she was about to be bit by a snake, and she insists on repaying me by letting me work at her father's bookshop, which in turn helped me down the road to become a great librarian and book merchant and to become a loving husband and father, until that was all taken away" he said, his smile becoming sad.
Adie listened well on that and looked down, processing all he was told. Slowly the pieces started to come together in his mind as the sun continued to rise in the distance. He then nodded and turned to Edmund, "I understand, Old Grand. I'll be open to people" he said with a smile.
Edmund looked at Adie and smiled, "Glad to know that my boy" he said as he started to stand up and stretch.
Just as he did that a thought popped into Adie's mind, "But, will I see you again someday?" he asked, as he wanted to see Old Grand at some point.
Edmund stopped mid-stretch and looked down at the boy, his face first showing confusion but then slowly melted into a smile, "Of course you will. I'll try to visit, if I can track the castle every time your father moves the blasted thing" he said, looking up at the castle. "But I will tell you this. If I don't see you soon, I at least will try to be there for your wedding day" he said with a mischievous glint in his eye.
Adie's face scrunched at hearing that, "Wedding? Ewww, I'm not getting married" he said, speaking childishly.
Edmund gave a chuckle, "Well you never know when you grow from the boy you are now into a strong and handsome young man. You may end up finding someone who can help you see the world differently. Perhaps the other way around even" he said with a smile, one of the last smiles that Alucard remembers well. "Regardless, I just want you to find happiness beyond your family. Because while family does fill you with love, there is nothing like the joy of finding the other half of your heart. Like finding the moon to your sun" he said.
Adie just stuck his tongue out at the old man, and just in that moment, his mother called out to the pair, as she had just finished breakfast.
"Welp, best to get to eating before the food gets cold, aye Adie?" Edmund said as he made his way up the stairs.
Adie got up to follow him, but then turned to the sunrise, thinking of that last part for a moment before turning and going inside to eat.
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Alucard dried the last of the dishes as he finished recalling that memory, his face a little sad at the last time he saw of Edmund. He then recalled Edmund's last words to him.
"'Find happiness beyond your family', huh?" he said to himself, repeating those words Edmund told him. "I'm not too sure about that...but I suppose I could start small" he said. It was then that he recalled Crina's words to him, the speech she gave him, telling him that she wanted to help him.
'Start with me. And I'll start with you.'
Those very words that his mother said to his father. The words that started their relationship. The words that were the door that his mother opened for his father, to see the world the same as other humans. And now, those words, spoken to him, who was betrayed by humans, were told to him as a means of healing.
'Always remember, to be open when you meet people'
The words of Edmund, the man who has seen much as a human and has suffered much as well. The down to earth man who, along with his mother, taught Alucard what it means to have a human heart. While his mother taught him the proper means to interact with humans, Edmund brought the spirit and personality that can come with humanity. His father's intellect and skill, his mother's class and kindness, and his grandfather figure's wonder and fun, all were parts of him. All their words came back to him as he thought back to whether he made the right choice or not.
'You'd never know what they would offer you in the long run'
Those few words of Edmund's ran through his ears and gave a chill down his spine, drowning out all other voices in his mind. It was finally decided that he would give the woman a chance to prove her point.
"I'll give her a chance. See what she can offer" he said he turned to walk through the castle, "Hopefully more food like that duck" he said with a smile as he went to grab a broom and dust pan to try and clean the house, all the while wondering what tomorrow would bring with Crina's arrival.
