It was a rainy April morning – the kind Lily usually loved. Today, though, it felt as a mere metaphor for what was to take place. The redhead rolled over in her cozy bed to let her weary green eyes drift out the raindrop-stained window. Today was the day they were holding a funeral down in Hogsmeade for all the people who'd lost their lives in the fire at Donovan's. It had been one week since the attack and still the shock of it rippled throughout the halls of Hogwarts.

Lily hated funerals. No matter how many times she attended them they only ever reminded her of her father. She could still remember standing beside his casket, family and friends coming to offer their condolences. Her eyes kept wandering beside her to his casket. Her brain couldn't accept that he was gone. From the corner of her eye, he kept sitting up, turning to look at her, and Lily would jump. He was alive! It was all just a horrible misunderstanding! Of course, it wasn't. Her father was gone forever – the point no more obvious than when they lowered his dark mahogany coffin into the ground.

Lily went through every action that morning in what felt like slow motion. She took a shower, did her makeup, put her long red hair up into a ponytail. It wasn't until she had changed into her black, long-sleeved dress for the funeral that she realized she'd left her heels in James' room.

The pair had been stubbornly avoiding one another all week as well. James was furious at Lily for not telling him about Marlene and Sirius and for refusing to take his side and she was furious that he ever thought forcing his friend to make a promise like that was suitable. Both were too strong willed to ever admit their defeat.

With a deep breath, Lily snuck, shoeless, from her bedroom, making her way to the boys' dormitories.

"Yes?" James answered when she tapped quietly on his door. Half of her still wanted to turn around and walk away. She would not be the first to apologize – especially when she hadn't done anything wrong.

"It's me," Lily announced, opening the door slowly. James was sat on the end of his bed, slipping on a pair of socks. He looked up at her blankly. "I left my heels in here," Lily explained, James nodding. She headed for his closet, rummaging around in it for a little while before finding the sleek black shoes. She slipped them on, quickly checking herself in the full-length mirror James had on the back of his door.

"Lily?" he asked hesitantly. She turned to look at him. "Isn't that the dress you wore to your father's funeral?" Her eyes widened with surprise. How the hell had he remembered that? She hadn't brought any black dresses with her to school – hardly thinking she'd be attending a funeral – but had asked her mother if she could send one over. Of all the dresses in her closet, she'd somehow managed to pick out the one Lily had only ever worn once – the day they buried her dad.

"How do you remember that?" Lily asked breathlessly.

"The way you looked that day is sort of ingrained in my memory," he admitted. "You were sitting up in the front with this very forced, stoic posture. I just thought it was the most heartbreaking thing – seeing someone trying so hard to keep it together when they were falling apart." Lily stood there for a few moments, swallowing back tears. James' eyes which, had been facing the floor, turned up to meet hers.

"Can we just put a pin in it?" he asked. "Just for today?" Lily had never been so grateful.

"Yes," she responded enthusiastically, rushing towards him. Lily threw herself into his arms, kissing him passionately. It was impossible to not be grateful for having James in her life when they were burying Marlene's boyfriend. The death just reminded Lily how temporary everything was. There were tears in her eyes as she pulled her lips away from his.

"Please don't die," she begged him, pressing her forehead to his.

"I'm not going anywhere, Lil-"

"I don't want you to be a hero," she admitted selfishly. "I just keep seeing the look on Marlene's face and I remember how much you mean to me. Even when I'm mad at you," Lily held his face in her hands, James smiling. "Even when I want to murder you I love you so much it hurts."

"Very romantic of you," James teased her, his arms wrapped tightly around her as Lily stayed perched on his lap. "I love you too," he promised, "no matter how mad I am." She never wanted to let go of him.

"Can we just stop all this stupid fighting and put our egos aside?" She begged him. It was too tiring being angry with James and all she did was miss him when he wasn't around.

"I've missed you," he admitted. "I miss not having you in my bed." Lily pressed her lips to his one more.

"James," Lily began, her stomach filled with butterflies. "Since this attack, I've been thinking…"

"Uh-oh."

"Ask me," she prodded him, "what you asked that night after we rescued you." James gave her a curious look.

"I don't know if you remember but that didn't exactly go well-"

"Just ask," Lily interjected.

"Okay," James nodded. "Just give me a minute." He stood up, Lily shifting over to the bed, heading for his dresser across the room. Lily felt like her insides were being scrambled together as she watched him fumbling around. "Close your eyes," he instructed her, his back still turned. Lily took a deep breath, doing as she was instructed.

"Okay," she breathed, "done." She heard James' footsteps along the creaking floorboard as he approached her, pausing.

"Put your hand out." Lily did as she was told, her eyes begging to open. He placed something small and delicate into her left hand. "Open," James said. When she did Lily gasped in shock. there was an engagement ring lying in her hand, but not just any ring. It was one Lily had spent much of her life staring at with admiration – her mother's ring. Without any warning, tears filled her big green eyes at rapid speed, Lily unable to control her emotions.

"How?" she asked, her voice shaking.

"I may have visited your mother while I was supposed to be in St. Mungo's," James explained from one knee. Lily had never felt so overwhelmed with emotion. It was a simple ring, a silver band with tiny diamonds encrusted into it, a large oval-shaped one in the center, but it meant so much more. It was the ring her father had told her he looked at and saw her mother in. It reminded her of their marriage, filled with love and affection. It was the ring she had always seen herself wearing one day.

"Lily," James said quietly. She was still staring down at the ring in her hand with a rather perplexed expression. "I've been in love with you for longer than I'd like to admit." Lily chuckled tearfully. "I know we're only eighteen and that they'll all say we're just kids but the truth is, I don't feel like a kid. I feel like the whole world is crumbling down around us and all I can do is hold on to what matters with all my strength." Lily looked into his hazel eyes, her heart soaring. "You're all that matters," James told her straight.

"You make sense," Lily told him honestly. "In my fucking confusing world, you're the only thing that's ever made sense, James." He smiled proudly. "I never expected myself to be that girl – the one who falls completely head over heels for her partner."

"Is that a yes?" James asked her hopefully.

"It's always been a yes," she promised him, leaning in for one more kiss. When they pulled apart James took the ring from her hand, slipping it onto the fourth finger of her left hand.


Marlene stood outside of the Hogsmeade graveyard, her hands trembling. The space was quickly filling with people – everyone coming to pay their respects to all the lost lives in the fire. Hogwarts students had been required to attend, brought down in the usual carriages. Marlene had gotten ready, put on a black dress, and joined her friends on the journey down, but she hadn't been able to enter with the rest of them.

She was stuck behind the gate, unable to move. Once she entered the grassy terrain of the graveyard that was it, Henry was gone forever. From this distance she could see his family – his parents and sister – sitting up at the front. His mother kept pressing a tissue to her eyes, his father's arm wrapped protectively around her. The sight made Marlene feel nauseous.

"You've been standing here for twenty minutes," a voice beside her announced. Marlene looked over to see Sirius, his hands tucked into the pockets of his dress pants. She stared at him blankly. They hadn't spoken since the night on the bridge and she still didn't feel quite up to it.

"You stalking me?" she asked, although the words didn't come out sounding as funny as she'd intended.

"It's hard to miss the girl watching the graveyard like she's about to end up stuck in it." Marlene looked towards him quickly, her eyes rounding with fear.

"Maybe I am," she said, Sirius' face dropping.

"Don't say that," he told her sternly.

"I saw it, Sirius," she reminded him. "Donovan's burning down, I dreamt the whole thing. Just like I've been dreaming about my death…." That was all Marlene had been able to think about for the past week. She'd known what was going to happen – even if she hadn't fully realized it – and that only increased the guilt she felt.

"I won't let you die," he told her stubbornly. "Not like that." Marlene gave him a sad smile.

"You can't save me," she responded, "not forever."

"Watch me." She smiled, swallowing back the lump in her throat. Her gaze turned back towards the ever-filling funeral party.

"They couldn't even find a body, did you know?" she told Sirius somberly. "The whole place was burnt to a crisp…." Her skin pimpled with goosebumps.

"There's no nice way to go," he sighed, "is there?" He was right but it didn't make the pain Marlene felt any easier.

"Give me a cigarette," she instructed him. She knew Sirius would have a box on him, and he quickly pulled one from his pocket. Marlene stuck the thin, cylindrical cigarette between her lips, inhaling deeply once it was lit. She knew it was a bad habit but in the moment it was the only thing that could calm her.

Marlene took a few more puffs before throwing the cigg aside, crushing it with the front of her heels. Without any word to Sirius she began to move forward, entering the rapidly filling graveyard.

"Marlene," Jecca Fawley exclaimed from the front of the crowd. She patted an empty seat beside her. "We want you to sit with us." She paused for a moment, staring from the Fawleys towards her family a few rows back. Her sister and husband were standing there, smiling sympathetically in Marlene's direction. Her mother had her arm wrapped around Danny's shoulders.

"Thank you," Marlene said to the Fawleys, moving forward to take her seat beside Henry's mother.

"Thank you for making the end of our son's life so happy," Jecca whispered to her once Marlene was seated. The latter tensed up, her stomach flopping. The truth was, Marlene had done quite the opposite. She'd made the last few weeks of Henry's life miserable as he felt angry and betrayed by her. Guilt washed over her like a tsunami and Marlene was left sitting there wishing she could disappear beneath it forever.


Alice had decided against taking a carriage back up to school. She preferred the walk to clear her head, and besides, as they neared the end of April the weather had begun to warm and reminded her how nice it was to spend time outside. Frank joined her of course, the pair walking along the road rather silently, hand in hand.

"What are you think about?" he finally asked after nearly fifteen minutes of pure silence. Alice took a deep breath.

"Everything," she responded honestly. "How scary it is that one day we will all be gone and this will be nothing but a memory." Frank held onto her hand a little tighter.

"Alice," he began cautiously. "That night…." She knew immediately what he was trying so hard to ask.

"We were playing Exploding Snaps," she explained, "and drinking beers, and then they were blown to pieces." It was a difficult image to bring back to the front of her mind. "I have never felt so helpless in my life. All I've ever wanted to do was help people – it's why I wanted to become an Auror so bad – but that night it all felt so pointless." The honesty was such a stark difference to the way she and Frank used to be. Before if Alice were in pain she would have swallowed it back and held it all inside. Now she saw that the only way to get through anything was through the support of each other.

"I don't want to sound selfish," Frank prefaced, "but I'm glad you weren't in there." Alice looked up into his brown eyes. What if she hadn't gotten a chance to ever see them again? What if they'd stayed behind just five more minutes? It all seemed so trivial and yet it might have been the difference between her being where she was now or left behind in the graveyard.

Alice paused in her tracks, startling Frank. She stared up at him with a hungry curiosity, wanting to memorize every wrinkle and curve that covered him.

"What?" he asked with interest.

"I never want to forget that face," Alice told him, still eating him whole with her gaze.

Frank smiled, moving forward. "It's yours," he promised her, "forever." The idea made Alice very happy…forever…however long that was.

"You know how we're trying out this new thing where we're open about our feelings?" Alice asked him.

"Yes?"

"You've never told me about the day your dad died," she explained. Frank's face suddenly grew long and somber, as though he'd just seen something he wished he hadn't.

"I can't remember much," he shrugged. The pair began their long journey back up to the castle. "I can hardly remember much of him at all, to be honest."

Alice frowned. "What do you remember?"

He swung their intertwined hands back and forth a few times, the only sound filling their silence being the twittering of birds.

"I remember watching him play Quidditch out in the back garden," Frank finally divulged. Despite having dated for a long time, he'd very rarely ever spoken to Alice about his father. The subject was a sensitive one – mostly because they had so little time together. Frank had been just five years old when his dad had died in a tragic Quidditch accident.

"He used to soar through the sky so fast you'd think your eyes were fooling you," he smiled.

"Your mother always made it sound like he was the most amazing flyer."

"He was," Frank confirmed. "It's the most lasting impression he left on me. I've never seen anyone fly like that since…"

Alice swallowed back the lump in her throat as she watched Frank's face swarm with all kinds of emotions: love, regret, remorse.

"It was the one thing in the world he really, really loved – besides my mother and me of course," Frank's eyes grew dark, "and it killed him."

Alice knew what a challenging pill that could be to swallow. It was how she felt everyday remembering how her own father had died. The only thing he'd ever truly loved was her mother – in the end, it was his greatest weakness. The truth was terrifying because Alice wondered if she would find her own demise in the same thing. She could see in Frank's gaze that he was experiencing a similar worry.

"All I've ever wanted to do was be an Auror," he said, putting into words what Alice felt constant anxiety over. "When I think about what happened to all those people in Donovan's…" his voice broke. Frank clenched his eyes shut in pain.

"I know," Alice agreed, pausing before her husband. "It's terrifying, Frank."

He opened his eyes to stare at her. His eyes were swarming with tears, which silently began to spill over, rolling down his cheeks. "It destroyed my mother when he died. She never really recovered."

"Look at my dad," Alice reminded him tragically.

"I still remember how it felt the day two of his team members showed up on our doorstep," Frank explained. He took Alice's face into his hands, staring deeply into her round doe eyes. "I couldn't deal with it if that was you."

"I want to run far, far away from all of this," Alice admitted selfishly. "I want to buy a little cottage by the sea and we can have a dog and two kids. I want to see you every morning when I wake up and every night before I go to sleep." Frank smiled sadly. "We can't have that, though," Alice finally determined, "because if we did then we wouldn't be Alice and Frank."

"I know," he nodded, holding back his tears.

"You're my partner," she told him. "I need you by my side to get through all of this."

"I'm right here," Frank, promised her, their foreheads pressed together. "I've always been right here."

Alice smiled; it was as though they'd never been apart.


Peter had gotten Aldora to meet him in the Shrieking Shack after the funeral. He knew that with everyone heading back up to the castle he'd be able to slip away from the group with no questions asked and little suspicion from his friends.

He sat on the edge of the dirty and broken bed in the center of the dusty room. Just like he had as a child, Peter anxiously bit at his fingernails as he waited for her arrival, jumping at the creaking of the floorboard when he heard footsteps approaching.

"Dora?" he cried out, his heart in his throat.

"I'm right here, Peter," she assured him, appearing in the doorway. Peter sighed with relief.

He'd been on edge ever since the fire in Hogsmeade. He was losing hair and he'd barely eaten. He was a nervous wreck.

Aldora, on the other hand, looked gorgeous as ever. Her silky black hair was styled to perfection, her skin was rosy and smooth. Peter couldn't believe it.

"Why'd you insist I had to come here, Peter?" she asked impatiently.

"Please tell me it wasn't you," he begged. "Promise me you had nothing to do with it."

Aldora stared at him skeptically. "Peter…" she began. That was all he needed. Peter thought he might throw up.

"Fuck," he cursed, turning away with his head in his hands.

When Aldora had come for the Longbottom's wedding she had shared a few drinks with Peter before asking questions. In the joy of the day – and the haze of alcohol – he'd forgotten that his girlfriend's questions were never simply just that.

She'd begun with asking about Henry, what he did, why he worked at Donovan's, and then moved on to who usually hung out in the pub. Peter had been foolish enough to tell her that it was often occupied by Aurors.

"Peter, calm down," she instructed him, the young wizard beginning to completely freak out.

"Calm down? CALM DOWN?" Peter gripped at the ends of his hair, Aldora approaching him cautiously.

"Listen, you just need to breathe Peter, just take a moment…"

"People are dead! My friend's boyfriend is dead!" All Peter could see when he went to sleep at night was Marlene's devastated face. It made him sick with guilt. "I didn't want to be a part of this." He was pacing now, struggling to keep his breaths steady.

"I told you who I was," Aldora clarified, "what I believed in."

"Were you there?" Peter demanded, pausing for a moment. Aldora looked back at him with a blank expression – answer enough.

"Shit, shit, shit," he began to freak out.

"They would have done the exact same thing to us!" Aldora explained defensively. "We had to hit them where it'd hurt the most, to wipe out their meeting spot!"

"You killed everyone in that building," Peter stressed. "Aurors, innocent bar goers, Donovan…"

"It's impossible not to have casualties," Aldora stated bluntly.

Peter had tried so hard to make excuses in his mind for what she believed. He tried day in and out to rationalize it for himself because he really did care for her. She was the first girl to ever see him, not just look past him at his friends. Peter was so tired of being overlooked as the Marauders' "sidekick" instead of being seen as one of them.

"I can't do this," Peter decided, shaking his head. "I have to tell them." Every time he lied to his friends he felt as though they were seeing right through him. It was too much to handle anymore.

"Don't be stupid," Aldora warned him. Peter thought this was the first rational thing he'd wanted to do in months. "You can't tell them."

"I can't lie!" Peter emphasized. "Not anymore, not when innocent people are dying and my friend's are being hurt."

Aldora's face lost its comfort, growing long and dark. The change in appearance frightened Peter the slightest. He could see she wouldn't go down without a fight and he wasn't one for confrontation.

"You're in as deep as I am now," she told him, stepping forward intimidatingly. Peter gulped fearfully. "What do you think will happen when you tell James and Sirius you had a role to play in killing their precious Marlene's boyfriend?"

"I didn't know!"

"Bullshit," Aldora spat. "You knew the moment you let the words slip from your mouth that night, Peter. You've known what I am and never once have you told them. What will James say to that, huh?"

Peter liked to think his friends would put seven years together ahead of a few months of him screwing up. Could they? When so much destruction had been caused?

"They'll find out eventually anyway," Peter squirmed, struggling for a solution.

"You are so naïve," Aldora taunted him. "You know that? You think loyal James Potter is going to just look the other way when you inform him that you knew about the attack about to be taken in the Auror department? That you provided the information that got his best friend's boyfriend killed? Don't fool yourself, Peter, they'll burn you at the stake."

Peter's throat burned as he struggled to hold down his tears. He had screwed up big time, and now he couldn't even see a way out of the mess he'd made for himself.

"They don't care about you," Aldora informed him cruelly. "You're a joke to them, a weak little lap dog. They treat you as an inferior – not an equal."

What if she was right? Peter had seen James forgive Sirius for all kinds of terrible mistakes but he wondered if the Gryffindor would return the same favour to him. Did they care enough about Peter? Or was Aldora right; was he just a source of entertainment for them? He couldn't be so sure.

"You're one of us now Peter," she told him, her hand creeping up along the side of his shoulder. "We're the only ones who will protect you." Peter shook his head, tears filling his blue eyes.

"No!" he protested. "They're my friends!"

"Tell them then," Aldora hissed into his ear. "See how long they stick around after they know the truth."

Peter clenched his eyes shut. He wanted it to all just be a bad dream. He wanted to wake up and never meet Aldora, to have never gotten feelings for her or let himself forgive her for being a Death Eater. What had he done? He'd gotten innocent people killed due to his naivety and now he was utterly stuck. If he told his friends the truth he could risk losing them forever and if he didn't he was an accomplice in everything.

"I'll never let anyone hurt you, Petey," Aldora said, her arms wrapping around him from behind. Peter couldn't pretend he didn't crave her touch, that the smell of her didn't fill his stomach with excited butterflies. "I'll take care of you."

Slowly Peter lifted his hands to hold hers, his eyes fluttering open.

"We aren't bad people," she promised him. He turned around to face her. Aldora's long fingers slide up along his cheeks. "We just want our world to remain exactly that – ours."

Peter supposed that made sense. It could grow frustrating to have jobs and spots in schools all taken up by muggle borns…people who hadn't spent centuries making the Wizarding World great.

"Are you feeling better?" Aldora asked softly. The twinge in the pit of Peter's stomach remained but he nodded all the same.

"I won't tell them," he agreed. A smirk slowly slid across Aldora's porcelain cheeks.

"Good," she said, her lips finding his. A strong wind whistled against the side of the old house, Peter holding on to Aldora a little tighter. She was the best hope he had now.


Lily had fallen asleep in bed next to him but James still found himself wide-awake. He rolled over, the moonlight helping to give some shape to the objects around him. Lily was fast asleep, her breaths long and measured. Her left hand was out above the covers, rested along the top of her pillow. James smiled at the sight of the glimmering engagement ring on her fourth finger. It fit just perfectly on her.

Very gingerly he pulled the covers off from around him, tiptoeing out of the bedroom. He figured that if he couldn't sleep he'd just go down to the Common Room, light the fire, and read until his eyes grew heavy. Of course, that didn't happen.

Instead, at the bottom of the stairs, he found a familiar blonde sat on the couch, her knees drawn up to her chest as she watched the burning flames of the fire.

"Mar?" James asked innocently. She turned to stare at him. Not with the usual warm, inviting look she usually offered him but instead with complete disdain. James' stomach sank. "What are you doing up?"

"I couldn't sleep," she answered flatly, turning her head away.

James approached the couch with slow, measured steps. Maybe if he took his time she'd be more inviting by the time he reached her. He had no such luck.

"You haven't spoken to me all week," he sighed, plopping down onto the spot beside her.

"You want to know the only difference between this week and all the others?" Marlene demanded, her voice thick with emotion. "This week you actually noticed the silence."

That one hit exactly how she'd intended. "That's such crap, Marlene…"

"I have always defended you," she spoke furiously. "Not anymore."

"Can you tell me what the hell I've done to make you so angry? I'm sorry that I've been M.I.A. this year, it's not exactly been an easy year for me either. You were never supposed to get lost in the mess of it, Mar."

"Fuck the absentee behaviour," she snapped, her burning gaze turning towards James. "How about making Sirius promise to stay away from me, huh?"

James' mouth gaped open as he struggled to figure out his defence. The more he was confronted on the topic the harder it got. "I… I was trying to protect you."

"Yeah, right," she spat, her eyes filling with tears. It was rare for Marlene to get worked up like this; it broke James' heart to see her this way.

"Really, Mar, I knew what would happen. If he felt free to go after you, I knew it'd be chaos."

"Because I'm some innocent little lamb?" she demanded.

"No!" James bellowed. "Because I know him, I know what he can be like. He doesn't do it on purpose but he has no idea how to keep a relationship together; he wasn't raised to be able to. I love Sirius – he's my best friend – but I know him better than anyone and I knew if I just let it happen it would all blow up, for both of you."

Marlene shook her head, wiping a loose tear away. She sat quietly for a while, looking as though she were thinking very hard about something, and then she clutched her eyes shut. "That party we threw in the Room of Requirements," she began. "I need you to tell me something."

"Anything," James obliged.

"Sirius and I were talking in the hall and you and Lily walked in on us. When it was just the two of you alone, did you say something to him?"

James' heart beat a little faster in his chest. That was going back almost six months, to a night filled with joy and alcohol; he could hardly remember one conversation. "No, I…" James furrowed his brow in concentration. He and Lily had drifted off to the empty classroom - the first time they'd ever shagged. He'd run into Sirius and Marlene speaking intently on the way back to the party….

"We just talked about the promise," James finally conceded. "I reminded him what he'd promised me and he assured me he was holding up his end." James thought little of the comment but the look on Marlene's face told him it was much more serious than he could have ever intended. Her chin wobbled intensely as she sat there, her every muscle tensing up.

"Do you know what you did?" she sputtered out in a fit of rage. "I wouldn't be sitting here now if you hadn't…." she dropped her face into her hands, breaking out into a rib shaking round of sobs. James felt like crying just watching it. He wanted to reach out and comfort her but he knew the gesture would only make it all so much worse.

"Marlene, I don't understand…."

"I loved him."

The words made James feel as though he were sinking into a black hole. "What?"

"All, this time, I thought he didn't feel the same, all the horrible things he said to me."

James swallowed back the tears that threatened to spill from his eyes. All he'd ever wanted to do was protect his friends and now he saw the repercussion of his actions. "Marlene…"

"Don't!" she cried viciously as James reached out a hand to comfort her. He pulled his arm away shamefully.

Marlene clambered to her feet, turning for the stairs. "We're finished," she decided harshly before bolting upstairs.

James was left behind, heartbroken and in tears.


A/N: Anyone else struggling during this horrible season of exams and colds? If anyone else is feeling as crummy as I currently do, I hope this update cheers you up! I hope everyone knows all of the wonderful messages and reviews I recieve about how much you enjoy this fanfiction and it being your favourite always make my day! You're all the most amazing readers and I'm so glad I decided to start posting this fanfiction a year ago...hope everyone continues to enjoy.