Oblivion

Naruto woke up and his blue eyes wandered around the room he was in. He didn't know where he was but it wasn't heaven or hell he was sure about that. He tried to remember what had happened the previous night but most of it was a blur and he had a terrible head ache. Trying to move was a bad idea because the cuts and bruises on his body started to hurt too so he just gave up. Maybe he could sleep this head ache away and figure things out later. He closed his eyes, trying not to focus on the throbbing in his temple when the door opened and Sasuke stepped into the room and leaned against the wall.

"Where am I?" Naruto asked looking at the raven. The fact that Sasuke was there surprised him none the less but he didn't have the energy to show it.

"Do you want me to get you some pain killers?"

"Yeah. One bottle should do the trick and don't bother with the water." Sasuke left the room leaving Naruto with his thoughts again.

No one has ever bothered in school to ask why he always wore baggy clothes or why he had a black eye and he was fine with that. They spread rumors about him that made him laugh but he didn't care. He was comfortable when he was left alone and ignored, when he didn't have to talk about it.

The teachers had sent him to see the school's psychologist and she told him that talking would help but he knew better. Talking wouldn't make him go away, it wouldn't make him stop from abusing him or his mother. And what if he talked? No one would believe him, he made sure about that. He was a respectable man, a lawyer, one of the best in the fucking town and many people looked up to him so when he told them that Naruto was involved with some gang and was taking drugs they believed him right away.

Sure, he was taking drugs, painkillers usually nothing illegal but he was in no gang and wasn't involved in any streets fighting. The rumors spread fast and he soon had quite a reputation without even working for it but it was alright since they all left him alone and some of them even feared him.

Everything changed about a month ago though when the bastard came at their school. He had most certainly heard the rumors but Naruto had caught him staring at him more than once and the teme didn't even try to hide it. He didn't ask questions, which Naruto was grateful for but he made Naruto uncomfortable so he decided to do something about it. They fought a few times at school and that only brought more attention upon them because Sasuke's fan club didn't like the fact that he had bruised the bastard's perfect Greek god like face and that annoyed him even more.

Sasuke was everything he wasn't, everything he will never be. He was popular, good looking and smart but all this came with a nasty personality. The raven was looking down on people and no one was good enough to be his friend or girlfriend. More than half of the girls in school were drooling over him and would do anything for a date but he always ignored them. This 'I'm better than all of you' attitude pissed Naruto off big time and it was just another reason to ruin his perfect face every now and then.

So yes, Naruto was pissed to see the bastard in the same room but his head ache was too distracting to complain.

Sasuke came back in the room and gave him a bottle of painkillers but upon opening it Naruto realized there was just one pill in it. He took it and swallowed it, ignoring the bitter taste.

"You think this will do the trick? I need more."

"No."

Naruto sighed "You still didn't answer my question."

"This is a friend's apartment."

"Great, so you kidnapped me and brought me to a stranger's apartment so that you can both laugh at me and maybe even ruff me up a bit."

"I didn't kidnap you, moron. You dropped out cold on the bridge last night and I brought you here and don't worry my friend is out of town and won't be back until next week." Sasuke said with a cool voice. He always talked like that. His voice was monotone and lacking emotion and Naruto sometimes wondered if he wasn't some kind of robot. He was too perfect and emotionless to be human.

"That's not how I remember it. I definitely remember you punching me." In a blink of an eye Sasuke was on top of him grabbing his shirt.

"You were about to jump into the fucking river, moron." He hissed and Naruto's eyes widened in shock. He had never seen Sasuke lose his temper before. Even when they fought and insulted each other his voice was monotone and his face expressionless to the point that Naruto thought he had no emotions at all whatsoever.

"So?" He couldn't say more without stuttering.

Sasuke let go of his shirt and punched him in the gut. It wasn't hard, Naruto knew that but it hurt like hell since it wasn't the first punch he got there in the last two days. Sasuke was handling him roughly but it was ok, he could handle that without a gasp. What happened next was unexpected though because Sasuke smashed their lips together and Naruto closed his eyes giving into the kiss. He didn't know that Sasuke was gay nor did he care. He knew for sure that he wasn't gay since there was a girl in school that he had liked for years but she was out of his league and a few minutes into their make out session he tried to imagine that it was Sakura that was kissing him. He burst into a fit of laughter just as Sasuke moved to kiss his neck making the raven stop and give him a cold glare.

"Sorry." He managed to say "I just thought of something stupid."

"You would do that wouldn't you?" Sasuke mumbled "What?" he asked a bit louder with a demanding tone.

"Nothing….it's stupid." Naruto tried to brush it off.

"What?" Sasuke asked again.

"I imagined that you were Sakura-chan for a moment there but then I can't imagine her being so rough." If the confession hurt Sasuke, Naruto couldn't tell because the raven's expression was as blank as ever. He didn't care if Sasuke was hurt though but he was curious."

"Well I'm not." Was all that Sasuke said before taking off the bandages on his cheeks. He looked at Naruto for a moment as if trying to get used to the fresh whisker like cuts on his cheeks making Naruto nervous. He hated it when people stared at him and Sasuke was doing that a lot.

"What?" Naruto asked looking into the obsidian eyes but Sasuke leaned closer and licked one of the cuts with the tip of his tongue making Naruto shiver. The blonde wrapped his arms around Sasuke's neck. He didn't know why he was letting this happen but it was distracting him so it was ok. Anything that made him forget about him, about the fact that in a few more hours he will have to go home again and get the shit beaten out of him again was ok. Anything…

"Take your shirt off." Sasuke's demanding voice brought him back from oblivion and he smirked.

"Are you going to rape me now?"

"Don't be a moron. If I wanted to rape you I would have done it a long time ago. I just want to see them."

"No." Sasuke's hand moved under his shirt lifting it slightly but the raven's eyes were locked on his.

"You're in no position to refuse, do you realize that?" Naruto grabbed Sasuke's hand preventing it from moving upwards. "What are you afraid of?"

"Nothing."

"Liar." Naruto diverted his gaze at the window. Sasuke was right, he was a liar and a coward.

"You'll think I'm weak." He confessed. He was ashamed that he couldn't do anything, that he couldn't fight back, that he couldn't kill the son of a bitch that called himself his father.

"I fought you more than once and I know you're not weak."

"I can't fight him when he threatens to hurt mom." Cupping his cheek with his hand, Sasuke turned his head around and brought their lips together once again. His leg that rest between Naruto's touched a sensitive spot making the blonde gasp and wrap his arms around Sasuke's neck once again. Sasuke's hand that was still under his shirt moved on his chest leaving his belly uncovered. If Sasuke decided to look then he would see the scars and bruises that Naruto already knew so well. The scars he would see every time he changed clothes or showered, the proof of his weakness. Sasuke didn't look though.

"Take it off." He whispered into Naruto's ear before he licked it then got up to stand beside the bed and watched Naruto closely. His shirt was already lifted, revealing enough already so taking it off couldn't do more damage. Hesitating slightly Naruto got up and took off his shirt.

"Why did you save me?" Naruto asked closing his eyes to hide the tears that were forming in the blue orbs.

"Because I wanted to release some steam."

"So you just wanted a fuck?"

"It was a joke Naruto. I saved you because you're like me." Naruto's eyes opened and his fist was directed with precision at the raven's head but Sasuke dodged it with a swift graceful motion.

"I'm nothing like you." Naruto roared "I don't butt into other people's lives and I don't stare at them no matter how weird or ugly they are."

"No, but you tried to kill yourself. We have that in common." Naruto's expression softened a bit. Mister perfect had tried to kill himself? Why? He looked like the kid who had everything he wanted and he could also have the perfect girlfriends but maybe he didn't want that since he was gay.

"How?"

"Drowning, cutting and overdose, four times in total. I tried overdose twice." He was talking about his own suicide attempt and stayed unfazed making Naruto wonder if he was insane.

"Why?"

"My brother killed my parents then committed suicide."

"It's a miracle he didn't try to kill you too."

Sasuke lifted his black sweater and the shirt beneath to reveal a patch of darker skin on the otherwise perfect abdomen. "He stabbed me but missed the vitals. He failed so I tried to finish off what he started." Naruto looked at the pink spot that tainted Sasuke's pale skin. He reached to touch it and was surprised that the raven let him.

"Shouldn't you take your shirt off too?" Naruto wanted to see everything. If Sasuke cut then the scars were likely to be on his wrists.

Sasuke smirked. "Do you like what you see? I didn't think you swing that way." Naruto dropped his hand.

"I don't but although you knew that you still kissed me."

"You didn't complain." Sasuke found it amusing to mess with the blonde and he figured he could do it all day long and never get tired of it but Sasuke wasn't dumb. He knew Naruto's reason to ask him to take his shirt off was the same as his so he complied. The clean cuts on his wrists were revealed as he took his shirt off.

"Why did you stop? Don't you still want to die?" Now that he had seen it all Naruto didn't pity the raven and he knew that Sasuke wouldn't want his pity either if they thought alike.

Sasuke wrapped his arms around Naruto's waist and leaned on his shoulder. Naruto could feel the warm breath on his neck and it was comforting and soothing in a weird way. It was almost as if someone cared about him. Of course Sasuke didn't care about him, he couldn't and Naruto would have to punch the teme in the face if he dared tell him otherwise. "Who said I stopped? I just got distracted for now." He chose a sensitive spot on the nape of Naruto's neck and started to suck on it biting slightly a few times and making Naruto grit his teeth but the pain was welcomed.

"Is this your distraction?" Naruto put his hands on the raven's hips and tilted his head to give Sasuke better access. "'Cause if it is it won't last."

Sasuke pushed Naruto against the wall making him wince in pain at the contact with the cold, hard surface and pinned his wrists against the wall. "Why? Are you going to run into Sakura-chan's arms so that she can make all the pain go away or will you go back home for round two?" he licked Naruto's cheek again "Or will you try to jump from the bridge again?"

"I'll have to go home eventually since I'm still alive."

"Is that what you want?"

Want? How could Sasuke think that he wanted to go home? But since he was still alive where else could he go? It was either going home or try to commit suicide again. "Fuck you."

"Are you sure you want that?" Sasuke brought a hand down to his more sensitive parts to tease him and rubbed slowly. Naruto wanted to yell at him to stop but at the same time he didn't want Sasuke to stop. He let out a moan that he didn't want to be heard by the raven and closed his eyes. Sasuke closed the distance between them and kissed him while his hand undid the zipper of Naruto's jeans. Naruto was panting and was glad that the fabric of his boxers was still standing between his skin and Sasuke's hand or else he would lose his sanity.

"That's not what I meant." He moaned when Sasuke broke the kiss for air.

"I know." Sasuke moved to lick on a nipple with the tip of his tongue and Naruto raised his chest for more contact with the wet muscle. It did not take long for Sasuke to release his wrists and suck on the nipple. Naruto put his hands in the black hair to prevent Sasuke from moving away, his anger completely gone.

Sasuke pulled back and sat on the floor while Naruto fell on top of him exhausted and still panting. "You can run away!" Sasuke told the blonde who was resting his head on the raven's shoulder.

"I can't leave mom. He'll hurt her."

"He'll kill you if you don't."

"That's ok. My life is over anyway. With these scars I can't hope to ever get married and for some time I've been even questioning my sanity."

"None of us is sane, so what?" Sasuke lifted Naruto's head and kissed him gently, licking on his bottom lip. "Stay here for a few days and think about it."

"I can't. He'll look for me and he'll find me."

"I can get your mom in a safe place. Don't give him more power over you."

"Sasuke….why are you doing this?" Naruto felt tired and defeated by fate and just wanted a bit of normality in his life, he wanted things to make sense for once.

"Because I can." Naruto gave him a sad smile glad that he hadn't said 'because I love you'.


Naruto walked into the bathroom and turning the water on he put his wrists under the cold jet. Closing his eyes he let his head lean back and waited for his hands to become numb. His wrists were bruised after he had to spend the previous night tied to the bed and the pain bothered him during the entire first class. He had to find a painkiller somewhere.

He splashed some cold water on his face in an attempt to wake up. He didn't get much sleep the previous night, obviously and today was a school day.

"Congratulations, you're all over the news." Turning around he saw Sasuke walk his way with his hands in his pockets. He stopped one step away from Naruto and presented him a bottle of painkillers that he had in his jacket's pocket. Naruto eyed it hungrily, he needed them. "I assume that was another one of his perfect lies."

Naruto reached for the bottle but Sasuke moved it out of his reach.

That day when he was saved by Sasuke he went home and was taken to the hospital where he stayed for a few days before coming back to school. His father had told the police that he had been kidnapped by a few members of the Akatsuki gang and branded with the cuts on his cheeks as well as other cuts and bruises all over his body.

Sasuke took a pill from the bottle and put it on his tongue then pulled Naruto into a kiss licking his lower lip. Naruto opened his mouth and Sasuke' tongue slid in only to be caught between Naruto's lips and sucked onto. The bitter taste of the painkiller invaded his mouth and he almost moaned relieved that the pain will soon go away.

"How can you take that shit without washing it with water? It's too bitter."

"I'm used to it. Don't you ever take painkillers?"

"I use pain to make everything else go away. I need it."

"Does it work?"

"For a while but then so does this." Sasuke shoved Naruto in one of the bathroom stalls and locked the door. Naruto fell on the toilet seat and Sasuke smashed their lips together again. Sasuke was never gentle or tender and Naruto knew that this was just a way for both of them to get rid of the pain but it was ok as long as it worked, as long as he could forget. When Sasuke moved to suck and lick his neck, Naruto moaned. He forgot all about the pain in his wrists or about the fact that he was tired.

"Wanna skip class?" he managed to ask between moaning and panting.

Sasuke gave his neck one last slow lick before pulling back. "If I do that for you it will cost you."

"You want me to pay you?" Sasuke just looked at him "What do you want?"

"Tell me what he does to you." Naruto rolled his eyes.

"Isn't that obvious. You've seen it."

"I want to know how, I want you to relive it all over again." Sasuke's gaze was piercing him and he couldn't look into the obsidian eyes anymore.

"He tells me that it's all for my own good that it's part of my education and that he…" Naruto paused as he almost choked with his own saliva. He couldn't say it but Sasuke grabbed his chin and turned his head so that their eyes met again "…that he loves me." He had said it and he felt like throwing up the breakfast he never had but instead he grabbed Sasuke's hair and pulled him into another kiss. That had to make him forget.

After a while they pulled back for air and Sasuke took the opportunity to find out more "Did he ever touch you? This was going to be a long day.

"He's not gay and he would kill me if he knew about this."

"This?"

"Yeah….this…whatever this is it looks gay."

"So?"

"Your fan club would stay in line to kill me."

"If we skip school we'll have to go somewhere else." The two of them left the bathroom a few minutes after class started and managed to get out of school without being seen. Sasuke took him to the same apartment he had been in before and went into the kitchen to make some coffee.

"Shouldn't you be telling me your story?" Naruto broke the silence and he watched Sasuke move around in the kitchen.

"That's not how it works, dobe. You asked for a favor and you have to pay. I didn't ask you for anything."

"You're a bastard you know that?"

Sasuke put two cups of steaming coffee on the table. "So I've been told." He took one cup and sipped from it slowly.

"Isn't that too bitter for you?" Naruto teased him since he saw that Sasuke didn't add sugar in his coffee.

"There's no milk in the fridge."

"You know…when you came to our school I would have never believed that we would ever do this. I always found you annoying especially since you would stare at me."

"Did you change your mind?" Naruto finished the rest of his coffee in one gulp and put the cup in the sink.

"No, I still don't like you." Sasuke put his still half full cup on the table and wrapped his arms around the blonde's waist.

"Seeing how much you hate 'I love yous' I'll take that as a compliment."

"Don't because it wasn't. All this is just a distraction for both of us."

"It just is…why do you have to name it?"

"Don't people always name relationships? Friends, lovers, enemies, rivals…"

"I don't need a name for it but you can call it whatever you like."

"I was never good enough for him. My grades were not the best, I wasn't good enough at sports, I wasn't in the student council…. I had to be punished for that, I had to do better, work harder. My mom's fault was that she gave me bad genes and she had to be punished too. But no matter what I'm his son and he loves me and I should never forget that." Naruto let his tears fall as he felt a pain in his chest.

Sasuke pushed Naruto on a sofa and sat on his lap then took the blonde's shirt off and Naruto didn't complain. Anything was better than remembering that. Sasuke licked a pink nipple then sucked on it and Naruto let out a moan. He was sensitive there and Sasuke took advantage of that. He shifted so that their lower parts were touching and Naruto gasped at the sudden weight but he didn't hate it nor did he feel disgusted. Sasuke licked some if the scars on his chest and the wetness sent Naruto to oblivion once again.

"How come you never asked me to do anything for you?" Naruto and Sasuke were on the couch and the blonde's head was on Sasuke's chest. As they lay there Naruto couldn't help but think about their relationship because he still couldn't figure out what Sasuke had to gain out of this, how was all this helping Sasuke forget?

"And what do you think you could do for me?"

"I could do what you do if you asked me to." Sasuke ruffled his golden hair and smirked.

"You're not gay." Naruto punched him slightly.

"No, but I figured that you would like that since you are gay."

"You're such a moron. I don't want you to do anything for me. I just want to forget that night."

"Can I help you forget it?"

"No but you can make it bearable."

"How?"

"Just be there so I can find you when I need you."

"That's not too much."

"That's all that matters.

"I wonder if you find me when you need it or when I need it because you always appear when I need you."


The days went by and Naruto and Sasuke never spoke in class, they would both act like they didn't even know each other except for the occasional fights that didn't even hold the same hatred and venom that they once did. Naruto figured that he liked whatever he had with Sasuke. There were no feelings, promises or commitments just bitter painkillers and sweet oblivion. He was actually looking forward to going to school.

That all changed one day though when he saw the edge of the white bandages under the long navy blue sleeves of Sasuke's shirt. It was only for a brief moment when Sasuke raised his hand to give the teacher his homework but it was enough to haunt Naruto's thoughts for the entire class.

When recess came instead of leaving the room like everyone else did, Naruto jumped on Sasuke and pushed him into the wall with a thud, pinning him there.

"Show me your wrists!" He wasn't loud since he wanted his reasons to be kept private from the group of students that gathered around them to watch the little show.

Sasuke did not react in any way which pissed Naruto off so he began throwing a few punches at the taller boy. Sasuke took them all, enjoying the pain they caused but when he had enough he wrapped his long, pale fingers around Naruto's neck. Some of the students gathered around them cheered for him and some girls squealed but Sasuke only saw Naruto.

"Don't stand in my way, dobe." Releasing Naruto's neck he walked out of the room and it took Naruto a few moments to pull himself back together before he followed the raven down the corridor. Sasuke was not getting away so easily.

Sasuke did not expect to get away easily either. Stopping in front of the closed door of a storage room he waited for Naruto to catch up with him. He took a key out of his pocket and opened the door.

"You have some nerve, teme." Naruto said when they were all alone behind the once again locked door. "You stopped me from killing myself and now you try to do it again. What the fuck?"

"It's just a scratch, moron. I wasn't trying to actually kill myself, I just wanted the fucking dreams to go away."

"Nightmares?" Naruto asked puzzled and Sasuke nodded.

"It's been two years and I'm still having them." Grabbing Sasuke's shoulders Naruto pressed his lips against Sasuke's. It was a soft and shy kiss, nothing like the ones Sasuke gave him but he felt awkward and weird and he didn't know what to do.

He wanted to do something for Sasuke but he didn't know what nor why did he feel the need to help.

"Sorry for punching you before." Naruto's hand went under Sasuke's shirt where he had punched him earlier.

"It's ok, I needed that. Are you alright though? You're acting weird."

"I am not." Naruto pouted feeling insulted. Did Sasuke realize how uncomfortable he was?

"Yes you are but I can take care of that." Unzipping Naruto's jeans he slid his hand inside the blonde's boxers.

"What…what are you doing?" Naruto stuttered and Sasuke smirked.

"I'm making myself feel better by teasing you."

"Bastard." Sasuke's fingers caressed him and Naruto's hand was still on Sasuke's chest, the skin to skin contact making him go crazy. It wasn't pleasure; he was far from calling it that, it was what he called oblivion. Sasuke's fingers wrapped around him and stroke him gently. It was the first time Sasuke had been gentle he noticed but it was ok. He was panting when Sasuke stopped and he lost contact with the warm fingers. Opening his eyes he looked at Sasuke demanding a silent explanation but Sasuke pushed him backwards on an old couch and took his shirt off. His hand moved back in Naruto's pants while his tongue was letting a wet trail on Naruto's chest.

"Is that better?" He eventually asked the now flustered boy beneath him.

"Don't do that again." The blonde said still panting.

"Don't do what again?"

"Cut…"

"I'll make no such promise, Uzumaki."

"I want to see them."

"Why?"

"Damn it Sasuke, just show me." Sasuke took off his shirt and undoing the bandages he revealed the new additions on his arm. Naruto grabbed his hand and licked along the pink line. It stung but Sasuke welcomed the pain like he always did. When he was done Naruto moved to Sasuke's chest and teased his nipples with his tongue.

"You're not supposed to do that, remember? Besides I'm not as sensitive there as you are."

"Then I need to find your sensitive spot."

"You don't have to force yourself to do anything, dobe. You're doing it just because this cut messed with your brain."

Naruto pondered on Sasuke's words and realized that he was right. He just wanted to send Sasuke to oblivion like Sasuke sent him and he never thought the same thing would not work on the raven although he was gay. He felt helpless and Sasuke wasn't giving him any clue on what he was supposed to do.

"Don't you want this?"

"This?"

"The kissing, touching…"

"Not if you force yourself to do it."


Sasuke woke up around midnight panting and sweating. His hand reached the scar that still hurt. He had dreamed again the night when he watched his parents being killed before he was stabbed by his own brother and he woke up in pain like always. Getting out of his bed he went into the kitchen for a glass of cold water. There was no way he would sleep again that night so he turned on the TV flipping the channels and sipping his water. Something on the news made him stop from changing the channel and he let the remote fall on the sofa beside him.

The name Uzumaki Minato was written in big yellow letters along with the word 'murdered'. Sasuke's thoughts drifted to Naruto who had not been in school for two days.

The reporter was saying something about the lawyer being stabbed by his wife and killed in cold blood by the insane woman. She didn't fail to add her own speculations about the sentence the wife might get but Sasuke could care less. He was dead and Naruto was safe and that's all that mattered.

Later that day he went to school and found Naruto sitting in a corner in the dark corridor.

"It's over now." Naruto raised his head to meet his gaze.

"Yeah."

"You'll be ok." Sasuke passed by the blonde heading to their classroom when the blonde's voice stopped him in his track.

"So that's it?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're going to pretend that you don't know me now?"

"No but you don't need oblivion anymore." Naruto stood up and Sasuke could tell that he felt hurt.

"Don't you need me anymore though?" Sasuke approached him until their chests almost touched and cupped his cheeks with his warm hands.

"You're free Naruto, you can have your normal life now. You can get a girlfriend or something and go on with your life but I can't. You can forget about me."

"Does that mean that you need me?" Naruto put a hand over Sasuke's and leaned into his touch.

"I need you to be you."

"But don't you also need me to fill an empty space in your life?" Sasuke leaned closer and kissed him tenderly like never before.

"This was the last time, don't forget it." He would never tell the blonde that he loved him or that he needed him.