Author's Note 1: Hey guys, sorry for the long wait. Went to visit family for Father's Day and work has been energy draining as of late, so I was slow on the chapter writing. I'll try to get back on a regular schedule, but we'll see what happens. Regardless, I hope you enjoy this chapter. But fair warning, some of the topics in this chapter may get uncomfortable for some readers, so you have been warned.

Chapter 16: How do I handle this?

About 20 minutes of walking and explaining had passed by the time Alucard finished telling his situation to Alister, who seemed intent on taking in everything he heard from the young shut in dhampir.

"I see. Well, now I understand why you wanted to talk about this away from Crina. Good move" Alister said as he walked along, "Cause if she did hear this, more than likely you probably wouldn't hear from her again due to her being creeped out" he added.

Alucard looked at Alister when he heard that then back to looking ahead, sighing.

"But, given the fact of how close of friends you two have become, I don't think she would've been away for long. I mean, heck, I haven't seen her this happy in a long time, so for you to bring a smile to her face, it definitely says something" Alister said, trying to keep things positive.

Alucard nodded, "Good. I'm happy to hear that. But now, back to the previous topic, you sound as if this isn't rare…" he said, taking note of what he was getting from Alister's behavior. "Is it common for dhampirs like me to have these sort of hormonal thoughts? I mean, my parents did tell me many things as I was growing up, but it seemed too..."

"Polar opposite? Unrelatable? Too one sided or too other sided?" Alister listed out, trying to see if he picked the right word.

"Well…yes" Alucard said as he averted his gaze.

"It's understandable. I mean, it's impossible for a full blooded human to understand a full blooded vampire completely, and the same vice versa. And considering that you're a shut in case, not having other dhampirs to talk to about this, I can see why it would worry you" Alister explained. "But thankfully, what you're going through isn't that rare among dhampirs" he added.

"Really?" Alucard asked curiously.

Alister nodded, "You see, with dhampirs, since we are half human we often have traits that are like those of regular humans, including the ever so fascinating world of human puberty. However, not every dhampir goes through the process of rapid aging, usually those who are only one fourth vampire. But there have been some cases of dhampirs who are half and half that did not age quickly, although the chances of that happening is one in 1000, so rare but not impossible" he explained.

"I see" Alucard said, taking in the information, only then realizing what he said, "Wait, there are dhampirs who are only one fourth vampire? How is that possible?" he asked.

Alister gave a small smile, "Well, technically for us in the Gateway, 'dhampir' is just a term for someone who has human and vampiric genetics. There are cases of someone being more than half of either human or vampire. For example, my mother, Minerva. She's one of the cases of being three fourths vampire, the result of intercourse between a vampire and a dhampir. I'll tell that story another day, but lets just say that my grandmother was good at hiding her true genetics. Anyway, the most common case for a dhampir is one who is half human half vampire, such as you and myself. The next most common is the result of intercourse between a half and half dhampir and a human, which in turn leaves the offspring being one fourth vampire and three fourths human. Then there are the cases of ones like my mother, the three fourths vampire, which in reality is really rare, as usually that pairing has a low birth rate due to so little of human genetics. As I'm sure you know, dhampirs can only be naturally born as long as one of the partners has human genetics, usually with the female of the pair being human. But in the rare case that the dhampir of the pair is a female and the man is a human, then things get interesting, but more on that later. Basically, any dhampir who has both human and vampiric genetics often has issues with hormones, especially the ones who went through rapid aging" he said, finishing up his explaination.

Alucard took all of this in, his mind relaxing a bit knowing that he wasn't the only one going through this sort of thing. At least he wasn't going crazy.

"So," he started, "how exactly do dhampirs like yourself work on controlling these hormones?" he asked bluntly.

Alister looked at him and then thought about it, "Well, it's different for every dhampir. For some, they prefer taking a certain herb, others tend to take in a bit of blood to try and calm themselves, then there are those who try to distract themselves with hard labor, some go and take a bath or such, it really just depends on what you think works for you…" he said.

"Then what do you do?" Alucard asked.

Alister blushed and looked to the side, "Ehhh, I usually try to distract myself with walking around, finding a side job, helping others, that sort of thing. But if I'm by myself…well…you would probably know" he said nonchalantly.

Alucard raised an eyebrow then thought about it, but he then got the message when he saw Alister rubbing his shoulder, face turning red at the thought.

"O-Oh…I see…" he said, feeling awkward about asking now.

Alister rubbed his head a little, blushing a little as well, but then looked at Alucard questionably, "Wait, you mean you haven't done that yet to yourself?" he asked bluntly.

Alucard's blush darkened as he looked to the side, hiding his face behind his bangs.

"You a virgin?" Alister asked, only receiving a shake of the head from the blonde.

"So…did it once but still unexperienced?" the silver haired dhampir asked, this time receiving a nod.

"I…I was raped…by Sumi and Taka…" Alucard mumbled loud enough for Alister to hear.

Alister's eyes widened at that, "Oh damn…sorry man, didn't know. Didn't mean to bring up bad memories" he said apologetically.

Alucard shook his head, "Don't. Just as you said, you didn't know" he said.

The two of them walked in silence a little bit before Alister started talking again, "So…are you now asexual because of this?"

Alucard looked at Alister for a moment but then looked out before him, thinking about that question. After a few minutes, he shook his head, "No. I can't allow one bad experience to blind me. And Edmund told me to give people and experiences a chance as 'you never know what they will bring you'. Besides, being with all of you has made me see a different outlook on life ahead of me, a more positive one. And who knows, maybe I'll try again someday" he said, recalling his good times with people.

Alister smiled, "Good" he said, "cause I was just about to make an offer to make you change your mind if you didn't think that, but now there is no need for it" he said. He then stretched and did a complete 180 turn. "Anyway, I think we should head back. Those ducks should be done by now and I'm getting hungry. How about you?" he asked.

Alucard nodded, "Yes, those ducks sound good right now" he said, following Alister's lead. The two of them started to talk about other things as they made their way back, a few topics leaving Alucard's face red as a beet as they walked on.

_*v*v*v*v*v*v*v*v*v*_

1 hour ago, back with Yohei

Not too long after the men took their walk, Yohei heard movement within the wagon, though he did not turn around.

"I'm glad to see that you're awake, Crina" he said as he continued to watch the ducks. He was also cooking up a small bowl of wild green soup, perfect for blood recovery.

Just as he said that, a figure walked past him and sat on the nearby log. Turning his head a little, he saw that it was Crina, dressed in her usual clothes, wavy raven hair down instead of in their usual braids, face a little flushed, clearly giving off an uneasy vibe.

"Are you alright?" Yohei asked, unsure of what to make of Crina's odd behavior.

Crina looked at him and then her eyes widened before looking off to the side. "Y-Yes. I'm alright" she said with a slight stutter.

Yohei raised an eyebrow, but he shrugged it off. Once the soup was ready, he handed a bowl to Crina, "Here, this should help you regain your strength" he said.

Crina took the bowl gingerly and sighed as she blew on the dish.

"Where did Alucard and Alister go?" she asked him.

"They both went for a walk. Alucard had something he wished to discuss with Alister. Can't say what it is though, but I have a feeling that he had some questions about dhampirs and the like, since he's an isolation case" Yohei said, explaining his thoughts on the matter.

"I see. Well I'm sure there are some things that I can't explain, being a woman and such. It would make sense for him to talk to another guy about things" Crina said as she took a bite of the soup.

There was a moment of silence before Yohei spoke up again.

"So, this Alucard person…you two have grown rather close…compared to before when you were just talking about him to your Aunt the last time we met" the bodyguard said bluntly.

Crina took a sip of the soup and eyed Yohei closely. "Are you implying something, Yohei?" she asked.

"Well no, its just I don't recall seeing you get this close to anyone, at least, not since…you know" the young Japanese said, figuring that she knew what he was talking about.

Crina sighed as she took a bite of the soup, "Since Lumin's death, I know. But…truth is, the original plan was to gain his trust and have him spend time with my Grandfather since they had been apart for so long, as I would do anything to make Grandfather happy. But now, the tables have turned and now Alucard is working to help me in turn…" she explained, taking a breath and then having a smile come to her face, "…my Grandfather's…quite the scumbag…but, honestly…I haven't had this much fun in years. It's a nice change of pace…" she said as she took a bite of greens.

"I see…so you were lonely all this time" Yohei said in a matter-of-fact fashion.

Crina almost choked on a piece of greens but she managed to keep her cool.

"W-Well…I felt that it was better for everyone to stay-"

"Crina, I've known you since you were young, and I highly doubt that you, a socialite and the former 'monstrous rebel' turned 'honorable warrior for the people' would want to be away from society for that long" Yohei said with a slight teasing tone.

Crina was about to speak again but her mouth went completely shut at the mention of 'monstrous rebel', lowering her head and hiding behind the shadow of her hair.

"Can't believe that someone still remembers that…" she muttered under her breath. She then sighed, "Well…don't tell Alucard. I'll tell him in time" she said with a sigh.

"Very well. But, if you don't do it soon, I have a feeling that the young prince may do so instead…" Yohei said, working on digging out the ducks.

Crina finished the last of her soup as he said that, leaving a bitter taste on her tongue, but she sighed.

"Anyway, it's good to see that you're recovering from this ordeal. And considering what you have told me, it seems that fate brought you two together through your Grandfather" Yohei said simply, handing the young warrior her duck before moving on to the other two.

"Perhaps…but its only for friendship. There is no room for romance in my future…not for what I did…" Crina said as she reached to take the duck but then Yohei moved it away from her.

"I don't believe that one bit, Crina, and I highly doubt you believe that too" Yohei said sternly, "Blaming yourself for something that happened years ago and not moving on from it is not a good way to live life. You may think that your honoring his memory by doing this, but the truth is, you're doing nothing but hurting yourself" he added.

Crina was about to say something, but she knew that he was right, so she looked away and sighed.

"How long are you going to keep doing this? Mourning Lumin's death is one thing but living in shame is another. Eventually, this whole 'living in shame' is going to get to where you don't even recall why you are doing it" Yohei said, speaking not as sternly, but clearly full of concern. He then turned to her more, "You…do remember what took place that night…don't you?" he asked.

Crina went silent at that. She recalled only the memory of seeing Lumin's dead corpse upon her blood covered arms, his final words to her as he stood dying before passing out. After that, the only memory that she could recall was that she woke up and Alister explained what happened, but she was too blinded by grief and shock to listen. She tried to recall what Alister said, but she couldn't, no matter how much she tried. After so many minutes of thinking without result, she sighed in defeat, with her growling stomach not helping her memory nor her depressed state.

Yohei sighed quietly through his nose and handed Crina her duck, letting her eat her fill.

"You see? You grieve it so much that you end up forgetting what the reason was or not remembering the bigger picture. These five years have practically made you forget that very day. The day that practically changed you from the strong and fierce warrior into this isolated simplest. Not to say that there is anything wrong with that, as I am glad to see you become more humble and level headed over the years, but there are times when the people miss the old you, especially the members of the Brotherhood" he said, explaining in a concerned matter.

Crina ate her fill as she heard that, but she didn't say anything as she felt ashamed that she basically pushed back the memory of Lumin's last night alive to the point where she forgot almost everything. She then tried to recall times before that and she did remember bits and pieces of the good memories, but she couldn't bring herself to smile. In the end, she sighed and continued to eat her duck, trying to get the thoughts out of her mind, but the last words that Yohei said filled her mind.

"I can understand why they miss me, but…I can't afford to have the same thing that happened to Lumin happen again to anyone else…so I keep my distance and hide myself away…but…now that I've spent time with Alucard…and he spent time with my family…" she trailed off, giving a small smile as she swallowed a piece of wing meat.

Yohei nodded, "Your life has looked a little brighter now, eh?" he asked. He didn't receive a response, but he figured that was the case. "Anyway, my point is that even though you've been through a lot and I know that you don't want to hurt anyone, but try to revisit old friends in the Gateway. Maybe even go and visit Lumin's grave. It's been a while since you've paid your respects, correct?" he asked.

Crina finished the wing she was eating and was now moving on to the next one. "Well, I plan on taking Alucard to the Gateway when the month ends, so I'll try to open up more when that time comes. Until then…I want to keep spending time with Alucard" she said as she took another bite. However, as she thought about what she said, her face started to turn red. "W-Wait! I-I didn't mean it like that!" she said, trying to correct herself.

"Too late to change it" Yohei said with a small smirk, only for it to fade away in a flash. "Seems like I don't have to worry about you finding happiness after all, since it's clear you're rather fond on your 'friend'" he said, a teasing glint in his eye.

Crina's blush darkened at that, "Y-Yohei! It's not like that! W-We're good friends is all-"

"Really?" he asked, narrowing his eyes.

Crina glared at Yohei for a moment or two before sighing and hanging her head, "Damn you…"

The young Japanese then chuckled a little, "Calm down, Crina, I have no intention of telling this to anyone…unless the young lord asks about it of course" he said with a teasing glint in his eye.

"D-Don't you dare! If Alister gets word about this, I'll never hear the end of it!" Crina said, taking a bite of a leg in order to try and distract herself.

However, as she ate, she thought about what Yohei said. Was she fond of Alucard? Was he only a friend to her? They did have a few things in common from a fondness for books to seeking answers to questions, from cooking to simply talking. But was that enough to call themselves close? Surely not enough to call themselves more than friends. However, as she thought more about this, her mind lingered to the dream she had earlier, one that consisted of her and Alucard laying beside each other under a tree. She was resting on his chest as he gently stroked her hair, feeling how cool his body was after recalling the cold touch from before. Crina then saw him looking down at her and she looked back at him, looking deep into those sharp yet gentle golden eyes. The two of them stayed like that for a bit before Alucard moved his body a bit til he was on top of her, blonde hair cascading around his sharp features, but his eyes still soft and full of passion. Her heart was pounding to the point where she heard it as he lowered his head closer and closer to hers until….she woke up, face red and breathing heavy with her body feeling hot. Was that a sign that she was in love? Or just lusting for company after being alone for so many years? She couldn't tell, but she figured that the latter was the most likely case, but yet something told her that the former was the truth.

'No way. Love doesn't happen right away. Love at first sight doesn't exist. It only exists in fairy tales….right?' Crina thought to herself as she continued to eat her duck.

"Hey guys, we're back!" Alister called out to the pair, snapping Crina out of her thoughts.

"Huh? Oh, welcome back" Crina said as she looked at the pair. But the moment her eyes met Alucard's, she looked off to the side and went back to eating her duck.

"You two were gone quite a while, I was afraid that the ducks were going to get cold" Yohei said as both of the young men sat down.

"Wait, what about you, Yohei? Shouldn't the cook eat something as well?" Alucard asked.

"I appreciate the offer, but I ate a late yet heavy breakfast this morning, so I will be fine" the young warrior said as he sat on a nearby rock.

Both young men started to eat their ducks in silence before Crina spoke up.

"By the way, I forgot to ask. What are you two doing here anyway, Alister?" she asked.

Unfortunately Alister's mouth was full of food, so Yohei spoke up for the prince.

"We came here because the young lord wanted to come by and gather some of the nearby flowers for a bouquet" Yohei explained.

"Bouquet?...Oh no, don't tell me you rejected someone again…" Crina said, clearly annoyed.

Alister nodded as he swallowed his food, "Yeah. Gave a former baroness a try, but she was only interested in my status, not for me as I am. So I turned her down and now I'm giving flowers as an apology gift since she likes them" he said.

Crina looked at him, "And the Cambion? What about her?" she asked.

"Nicoletta? Oh I'm still in to her. If she were to go for me, I'd be on her in a heartbeat" the young prince said with a smile.

Crina gave a groan, "Of all the women in the Gateway to fall for, you go for the one who wants absolutely nothing to do with you? What is it about her that you are crazy for? Not to say she's a bad choice, I mean heck, her classes on romance and how to make a happy marriage are top notch from what I hear, but she refuses to marry. Why go for someone who doesn't want that?" she asked.

Alucard listened well and he figured the same thing, but yet he kept silent, wanting to know a little more.

Alister went silent for a bit then sighed, "Because I'd rather have a marriage that is about heart and compassion rather than power and status. All of these other girls, they were arranged out of pure sense of power. You know about my continuous rendezvous with the people, I'm not one who wants to simply be on a throne and watch from afar. I want to be with the people, be among them and feel their pain in person. Nicoletta is just like that, she's about caring for the people, being there for them, listening to their troubles, all of that. She'd make a great queen in my opinion" he said.

"But you're not the one who is next in line for the throne. Being second born, I figured that you would be interested in marrying for love…unless there something going on that you haven't told me…" Crina said, suspicious of her cousin's reasons.

Both Alister stopped in their movements and looked at Crina for a moment before looking at each other. Alister then sighed.

"There's rumor going around that my older brother may be evicted of the title of heir to the throne. There have been tales of him committing acts that are rather unjust as of late…so Mother may consider putting me next in line for the throne instead of him…" Alister said worryingly.

Crina almost spat her food out at hearing that, "What?! A change in the line of power?! That's huge, Alister!" she said, clearly shocked.

Alister held up his hand, "Now wait Crina, it's just a rumor so nothing is set in stone. But it's something bothering me considering my reputation and such…I can't be a person for the people and be one for the crown" he then lowered his head, "I have to choose…one or the other…" he said.

Crina thought about it and then sighed, "I see, so that's why you're being so picky. And if we're talking about a representation for the people, it's better to have a spouse that could be considered a light of hope. And considering all that she has done for society, it would make sense to have her as queen, so she could be not just the light you used to be but also your eyes and ears in order to see about how the people are living, am I right?" she asked.

Alister nodded, looking back down at his duck but then glancing at Alucard, who was just eating and listening to the conversation at hand.

"Alucard seems rather confused as to what is going on, wouldn't you say?" he said, trying to distract from the conversation at hand.

"I was following. I just figured that I had nothing to contribute to the conversation at hand…" the young blonde said as he took another bite.

"Speaking of the Gateway, it sounds like plans are going smoothly for you to possibly join us, Alucard…" Yohei said.

Alucard raised an eyebrow at that, "Wait, what?" he asked, clearly confused.

Crina then put her head into her hand, "Yohei, I forgot to say that I did not tell him about my plans for the end of the month yet" she said, "I was planning on making it a surprise…but now you ruined it…" she said bitterly. She then turned to Alucard with a sigh, "Anyway, yes Alucard, I have plans to take you next month as I feel that your desire to see it has been deprived long enough. However, the process for it…requires a great deal of trust…" she said, trailing off a little.

"What do you mean?" Alucard asked, feeling an uneasy vibe coming from Crina.

Alister looked at Crina and then pointed to himself, to which she nodded to him. The young prince then turned to Alucard, prepared to speak as he knew that it would require a lot of time to explain this story to the young dhampir before him.

Author's Notes 2:

Alright, after a long delay I finally got a chapter up! As I have said in the top notes, I will try to get back on a regular basis, but we'll see how that goes. I'll do what I can, but please bear with me as I do my best with this. Thank you for your patience.

Now for some fun facts.
- With the explanation of the dhampir genetics, I wanted to do a little play on some diversity for the dhampir race. Yes, I know female vampires can't procreate, but if the mother is a female dhampir, then the genetics to reproduce should still be there, although rare. Hopefully it makes sense, let me know if it doesn't.
- The 'Brotherhood' is a small tribute to the Brotherhood of Light from the Lords of Shadow series. It's grown to be one of my personal favorites in the series even though it isn't canon. What will this play in the future? Wait and see.
- A Cambion is a beast that is half succubus/incubus/other demon and half human. However, since Dhampir is already used for half vampires, I'm only going to use Cambion for children as a result of the succubus/incubus lineage.

I think that's all for this chapter. Let me know if I've missed anything, alrighty? Thanks again for your patience and I will try to update more on a regular schedule again.