Naruto arrived in school early. Leaving early and going home late became a habit for him since he lived alone. It felt weird to see the house so empty all the time and he couldn't bare at. There were so many memories in that house that haunted him at night that he felt he was losing his mind.

Wasn't he supposed to heal now that he was gone? Wasn't he supposed to start a new life now? Why couldn't he do that? He wondered if this was similar to what Sasuke was going through since his family died.

He washed his face with cold water and ran his fingers through golden bangs.

"You look like shit." The sudden intruder startled him but it was just Sasuke so it was ok. They hadn't talked in two weeks and he had two weeks to think about their last conversation, the one that wasn't really finished from his point of view since there were so many unanswered questions.

"Thanks."

He didn't approach Sasuke after that since he felt that he owed it to Sasuke to figure out what the raven had meant to tell him. He couldn't go back to him unless he understood Sasuke's feelings.

"It wasn't a compliment, idiot."

"You should be used to seeing me looking like shit. I'm fine but I could use some sleeping pills."

Sasuke leaned against the door casually "You always need pills. Maybe you should try something else for once."

Naruto shook his head "I don't think oblivion will solve this one."

"I wasn't talking about that. So what is it? Nightmares?"

"That too…I don't know…the house is too empty and I'm not used to that. There's always been screaming and yelling and beating."

"Why don't you move in with me then? My apartment is also pretty empty so there's plenty of room for two."

Naruto burst in a fit of laughter. "Since I hadn't slept well in weeks that sounds tempting but I shouldn't decide something like that in haste…I mean I don't even know where we stand."

"Wouldn't it be easier for you to figure that out if we lived in the same house?"

"Maybe but I should really think about it after I get some sleep."

"Do you want to skip today? You don't look like you could handle school for an entire day."

Naruto smiled "Is that a request because you'll have to pay if it is." He teased the raven.

"It was a question but just out of curiosity what would you want?"

"A sleeping pill." Sasuke rolled his eyes and opening his backpack he took a bottle of sleeping pills.

"This is what I take. They're strong so don't take more than one at once." He threw the bottle at Naruto who barely caught it and turned to leave.

"Wait!" Naruto went closer to him and grabbed his wrist "Let's skip."

Less than half an hour later they were both in Sasuke's apartment and the raven was making tea. Naruto watched him move around the kitchen like he had done before but this time he was deep in thoughts. His life had always been messed up but lately it's been more messed up than usual and although things drastically changed in the past two weeks since his mother went to jail it still stayed messed up. His past was haunting him; his father's words were edged deep in his mind and were messing with everything he knew to be normal. And then there was Sasuke, the boy he hated, the boy who saved him and made his life bearable, the boy who was willing to get out of his life entirely now that his father was dead and he was no longer abused, the boy he still needed…

"What?" It was strange for the blonde to be so quiet so Sasuke had to ask.

"Nothing…I was just thinking."

"I knew I smelled fried brain."

Naruto pouted "That's mean."

"Thinking doesn't suit you."

"But it suits you?"

"Yes. So what were you thinking about?"

"How do you make the nightmares go away?" Sasuke gave him a cup of hot tea and took a sip from his own.

"You don't."

"When he died I thought it was all over. Mom and I were finally safe and we could live like normal people. Now mom is in jail and I can't forget the past. Everything in that house reminds me of him, of what he did to us."

"Naruto…what happened that day?" Naruto's eyes were focused on the cup of tea that he was holding with both hands but he wasn't seeing it, he could only feel its warmth. In front of his eyes were replayed those last moments in full detail.

"I was late and he demanded to know where I was. I told him I was with a friend but he didn't believe me. He accused me of sleeping around and said that I probably left some girl pregnant and ruined his reputation. That I should be focusing on my studies not on girls and that he would find a suitable girl for me when the time was right…." He began to tremble slightly when he saw his father take the knife from the drawer in the kitchen. "He pointed the knife at me and tried to take my pants off. I tried to fight him but he was stronger. The next thing I remember was when he fell on his knees after mom has stabbed him from behind. I managed to get the knife away from him and she stabbed him two more times until he fell on the floor." A warm hand on his cheek made him raise his gaze to look in Sasuke's obsidian eyes.

"It's ok. Drink the tea and try to get some sleep."

When Naruto woke up it was already dark and he panicked for a moment before he remembered that there would be no consequences if he goes home late unless Sasuke was angry with him for not leaving earlier. He took the sleeping pill when he got there and after drinking the hot tea he fell asleep on Sasuke's couch and now he could say that he felt much better.

"I wasn't expecting you to wake up so early." Sasuke was standing in the kitchen door with a cup in his hands.

"What time is it?"

"Around midnight."

"Fuck. Sorry, I didn't mean to stay for so long." Sasuke went to sit next to him on the couch.

"It's ok, I don't mind. Did you sleep well?" Naruto nodded.

"No dreams no nothing. Why aren't you asleep?"

"I was for a while." Naruto moved closer to the raven and rest his head on Sasuke's shoulder.

"So you drink coffee when you have nightmares?" Sasuke wrapped an arm around him so they could both be more comfortable. "Sometimes….sometimes I drink just water but I usually don't go back to sleep." Naruto turned to look at him.

"Do you want me to make you feel better?" Sasuke gave him a skeptic look.

"And how do you plan to do that?"

"You know…"

"No I don't, that's why I'm asking." Naruto's hand slid under Sasuke's shirt but his eyes never broke contact with Sasuke's. "I thought we talked about this."

"I know but I want to. I won't do anything I'm not ready for."

"Why? Is it because you feel sorry for me or because you feel that you owe me something?" He didn't know why himself. Maybe it was out of curiosity and maybe he also felt bad that he couldn't do anything for the raven.

"Isn't it enough that I want to?"

"No. I don't want your pity."

"I know that…" Naruto yelled "I don't want yours either" he continued on a lower voice "I just want to know what you need, what you want." He looked at the raven with pleading, sad eyes and Sasuke softened up a bit.

"I'm never going to get what I want." Naruto's hand reached for a pale cheek.

"What is it?"

"I just want my brother back."

"Don't you hate him for what he did?" Sasuke shook his head.

"He was the best brother I could ever wish for."

Naruto was confused. How could Sasuke think that the boy who stabbed him was the best brother he could have? "Tell me about him."

"My parents were very strict, especially father. I know he loved us and all but I wish that he would let us decide things for ourselves sometimes. He wanted Itachi to work at his company and get ready to take over when father decided to step down and retire. Itachi was brilliant and exceeded father's expectations but he was not happy. Itachi was a dreamer not a businessman and he wanted to play with his band." Sasuke let out a sad smile "He had this band with two of our cousins, Obito and Shisui but they needed more members to get to the level he wanted. He never had enough time to organize auditions and recruit though. Things went out of hand when father told him that he had found someone for him to marry and Itachi was never the same again." Sasuke took a few sips from his coffee under Naruto's watchful eyes.

"Was he in love with someone?" the blonde asked eventually since Sasuke was taking his time and the raven nodded.

"He never told our parents about it because his lover was a guy, our own cousin Shisui. Father would have killed both of them if he knew. Although Itachi sacrificed his music career for father's company he wouldn't sacrifice his love life too and that was when he did it…he killed them. Knowing that I would suffer without my family he tried to kill me too but failed. I think he couldn't really kill me though." Naruto grabbed his hand and laced their fingers together.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that. You know…I thought that I could fill that empty space in your life that was left by your family but I don't think I can anymore. I don't think I can compare to your brother."

Sasuke put his empty cup on the coffee table and wrapped his arms around Naruto. "You don't have to fill their space because you have your own space in my life now, just fill that." Naruto looked in his eyes for a while as if trying to detect a lie in the raven's words then slowly closed the distance between them and kissed Sasuke. The raven leaned into it and they kissed for a while before Naruto pulled back and licked his lips.

"You know….I just can't get that last kiss you gave me after father's death out of my head."

"Why?"

Naruto shrugged "It was different, like it meant something and you also told me not to forget it so I didn't." Sasuke smirked.

"I'm glad you didn't."

"So…what does it mean, why did it feel so different?"

"Because I didn't give you the kiss you needed, I gave you the kiss I needed. I stole it from you."

"Why?"

"Because I love you." Naruto's blue eyes went wide and he felt sick to his stomach so he rushed into the bathroom and splashed cold water on his face. He was panting and he grabbed the sink on both sides to prevent him from collapsing on the cold tiles on the floor.

Raising his gaze he looked into the mirror at his reflection, at the scars that were proof of love. It was the only love he knew and if Sasuke felt like carving him too… He shook his head in protest at the thought. Sasuke would never do that. There was a knock on the door and Sasuke asked him if he was alright but he didn't have the strength to answer instead he leaned against the door just in case Sasuke felt like entering.

"Naruto, I wouldn't hurt you like he did. I know you hate those words but you need to know. I need you to know."

Naruto opened the door and he was angry. "Look at me Sasuke." His shirt was gone and his scars were clearly visible in the bathroom light "How can you love this?"

"I just can."

"That's a lie." Sasuke pulled him by the wrist and kissed him like he had done so many times before until he felt Naruto relax a bit.

"I won't take you to oblivion this time Naruto, you have to face this on your own."

"But I need to forget."

"No, not this time."


Naruto and Sasuke saw each other in school every day but they didn't talk to each other. Naruto was avoiding the raven and Sasuke decided to give him some space. He wondered if he had said too much too fast but he needed Naruto to know and Nartuo too needed to sort his feelings out because his confusion was driving Sasuke crazy.

He knew that Naruto knew what love was supposed to be like in theory but he associated it with violence and Sasuke didn't know how to change that. Maybe he couldn't, maybe only time could. He knew he would need patience and fortunately he had plenty of that.

Naruto acted strange after a while. He went as far as asking Sakura on a date. Big mistake since the pink haired girl was in Sasuke's fan club and the raven watched the heart broken blonde walk back to his seat with a sad expression on his face and lean on the desk with his face buried in his elbow to hide his tears.

"Why are you doing this to yourself?" Sasuke asked Naruto one day when he couldn't watch the broken blonde anymore.

"Why am I doing what?"

"Why are you chasing Sakura?"

"I like her, isn't it obvious?"

"What's obvious is that you're wasting your time."

"Because she likes you?" Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Because she thinks she likes me. She doesn't even know me and I bet that if she knew about the scars I have she would freak out in a second."

Naruto shook his head "She's not that shallow."

Sasuke called Sakura over to Naruto's desk and seeing her excitement when he called her name disgusted him but he had to prove a point.

"What can I do for you Sasuke?" She purred and Sasuke had to try hard to keep his cool expression.

"I want to tell you a secret. Can I trust you not to tell anyone?"

She looked at Naruto as if telling him to leave because this was between her and Sasuke alone but the blonde didn't seem to get the hint and stayed. "Of course I won't tell."

"What would you say that I tried to kill myself by cutting my wrists?"

She looked at him shocked then shook her head "I don't believe you. Why would you do that?"

"I just wanted to know what it's like." Sasuke raised his sleeve and showed her the scars, his black eyes following closely how her expression changed from disbelieve to horror.

"Oh my God." She ran back to her friends, still shaken and Sasuke covered his wrist once again.

"You were right. She's not shallow at all." His voice did not change at all but Naruto didn't miss the sarcasm in his words.

"I guess in the end you are all I have."

"Is it that bad?"

"Damn it Sasuke. If I was gay I would fuck you on the spot. You're hot no one can deny that, not even a straight guy."

"That doesn't answer my question."

"No, I guess not."

Naruto went to Sasuke's apartment for the weekend and officially started the weekend with a movie.

"So what do you want to do tomorrow?" Naruto asked as the list of actors began to roll on the TV screen.

"I usually do the homework on Saturdays."

"Are you serious?"

"Sure. Why?" Naruto banged his head against the back of the couch a few times and Sasuke watched him rather amused.

"Everybody knows that homework is done on Sunday evening. It should be a rule or something."

"Well it's not."

"How about we do something fun."

"Like what?"

"I don't know… what do you do for fun?"

"I tease you."

"I'm serious Sasuke."

"Me too."

"You're not helping here."

"Well then how about this?" Sasuke pushed Naruto on his back and moving on top of him he started to kiss the blonde. Naruto closed his eyes and kissed back. His hands moved in Sasuke's hair and on the back of his neck to pull him closer.

"Do you still pretend you're kissing her?" Sasuke asked when they broke the kiss for air. Naruto opened his eyes and looked into the obsidian ones.

"It won't work, besides it's ok even if it's you."

"Because it's just a kiss?"

"Because it's nice. Didn't you say once that you don't like to name things like just a kiss or more than a kiss?"

"I did but I need to know what it means for you."

"I'm still figuring out but don't let that stop you." Sasuke felt a bit hurt but if Naruto was ok with it he would wait for him. Sasuke took his shirt off then helped Naruto do the same then sucked on Naruto's neck getting a moan out of the blonde. Satisfied, he chose a spot on the crook of the blonde's neck and bit it, making Naruto gasp in pain and tilt his head to give the raven better access.

"You like that don't you?"

"You left a mark, teme." Sasuke licked the spot he bit before "You reveal your pretty neck then you complain?"

"Shut up."

"You want me to shut up but you don't want me to stop?"

"You're annoying."

Sasuke's hand went down to undo the blonde's pants and pull the zipper then he slid his hand to grab Naruto. Naruto let out another moan and wrapped his arms around Sasuke's neck. The raven's tongue on his neck and his hand stimulating him made Naruto go crazy with both fear and pleasure.

"How far do you want me to go?" Sasuke asked when he felt that he had his own problem to take care of.

"How far do you want to go?" Naruto asked still panting.

"I want to have you and I want you to have me too but I won't do it unless you want me to."

"Are you sure because if we do it things will never be the same between us?"

"I'm sure. The question is whether you are sure."

"Ok." Sasuke discarded all their clothes in a hurry. Licking his fingers he inserted one inside the blonde earning a gasp.

"Relax, you need to loosen up or it will hurt." After thrusting a few times he inserted another finger and stretched making the blonde pant.

"This is weird."

"I have to do this if I don't want to hurt you too much so bear with it." After the third finger went in he felt satisfied and positioned himself at the edge. "Are you sure about this?"

Naruto tensed up a bit but nodded. "I'll do it slowly." He pushed himself deeper into the blonde watching his expression carefully. He was in pain and Sasuke stopped now and then to give Naruto time to adjust until he went all the way inside and the blonde moaned. He began to thrust slowly over and over then faster. His lips moved to Naruto's nipples sucking and licking gently hoping that it would make up for the pain that he caused to his blonde.

When his fluids filled the blonde's inside he got out and kissed Naruto gently before pushing Naruto inside of him earning a gasp from the blonde.

"What the fuck Sasuke? You're going to hurt yourself." Naruto yelled at him as he tried to adjust to the tightness around him.

"It's ok. I need it to hurt."

"You're such a bastard. So you're using me as a replacement for cutting?"

"You're not a replacement for anything, idiot. I just can't live without pain."

"But you force me to live without oblivion. You make me be fully aware that I'm doing it for the first time with a guy. Shouldn't you be giving up that self-inflicted pain too just to make things fare?"

"Naruto, this hurts either way but if you want me to promise that I won't cut anymore I'll do it."

"You will?"

"Yes. If I have you I think I can."

After a while Sasuke fell on top of the blonde exhausted, baring his face in the crook on Naruto's neck. The blonde wrapped his arms around him and closing his eyes he enjoyed Sasuke's warm breath on his neck.

"Are you ok?" Sasuke asked eventually.

"Yeah."

When Sasuke woke up he was surprised to see that the sun was already up. He had slept all night without any nightmares and Naruto was still there beside him.

"Why are you so happy early in the morning?" Shifting his gaze he saw that Naruto was awake.

"I was glad that I didn't have nightmares for once. Did you sleep well?"

"I didn't take a second sleeping pill."

"I didn't think you would need one after last night."

"After that you think I could just sleep it off?"

"Yeah."

Naruto got up and picking up his clothes he went to take a shower. He let the warm water fall on his face for a while before running his fingers through his hair. What was he doing? Why did he agree to do it with Sasuke the previous night? To forget, a voice in his head said. Or maybe to give Sasuke what he wanted. But Sasuke didn't want it if he had to force himself to do it. It felt nice though but it also felt wrong. Why was he doing this to Sasuke, why was he hurting him? Sasuke didn't deserve it, he deserved better. He turned the cold water and stayed under the cold jet until he began to shiver then stepped out of the shower.

Sasuke had made breakfast and was waiting for him to come out. "Are you alright?" he asked when he saw the sad expression on his blonde's face.

"Yeah but we need to talk."

"Sure." Sasuke put two plates on the table for both of them and went to grab the coffee and food that he made. "What do you want to talk about? Last night?"

"Did you like it?"

"Yes. Why?"

"I think it was a mistake. I can't feel about you the same way you do and I don't want to hurt you anymore."

Sasuke grabbed his shirt "Do you really know how I feel about you?" he hissed startling the blonde.

"Y-yeah" he stuttered "You said that you loved me."

"But do you even know what that means, moron? Or you do but you don't believe me?"

"Sasuke…" Naruto didn't try do get out of the raven's grip but not because he was not afraid, it was because he knew it was his fault that Sasuke was angry.

Sasuke let go of his shirt and left the kitchen going to the bathroom where he closed the door with the lock. Naruto took a seat at the table and burying his face in hands he began to cry.

Sometime later Sasuke returned into the kitchen and leaned against the door frame with his hands folded across his chest.

"Why are you crying?"

Naruto raised his blue eyes to look at Sasuke and whipped his tears with the back of his sleeve. "I'm sorry….I didn't mean to hurt you like that."

"I thought I told you I didn't need your pity." There was an awkward moment between them before Sasuke spoke again. "Do you know what I don't understand?" Naruto gave him a confused look. "You wanted it and you seemed to like it too."

"I did want it and I did like it…"

"But I'm a guy, is that it?"

"No." Naruto yelled wanting to assure Sasuke that it was not the raven's fault but that would be a lie. "I don't know, Sasuke…"

"Well let me tell you something. If you want oblivion I'll give it to you because that's ok, right? You don't mind that I'm a guy when I push you around." Naruto looked at him confused. Sasuke had made it clear that he didn't want to do that anymore but now he had changed his mind. A part of him felt relieved since it was something he still needed in his messed up life but he couldn't help wondering what made the raven change his mind. "Now eat up!" Sasuke grabbed his now cold coffee and left the kitchen.

"Where are you going?" Naruto asked concerned.

"I always do homework on Saturday, remember?"

"Yeah but aren't you going to eat first?"

"I never eat breakfast."

Naruto was left alone in the kitchen and he felt miserable. That was when he realized that he didn't know much about Sasuke's habits, likes and dislikes, the ordinary small stuff that makes a person who they are. They had only talked about their problems, their traumas and attempts to get away but not the small stuff.

Sasuke had done so much for him and even made him breakfast although he apparently thrived on coffee. He didn't want to eat alone but he was hungry and maybe he should give the raven some space. Maybe he should finish eating then tell Sasuke that he was leaving. Maybe it was for the best although it wasn't what he wanted. He didn't want to go back home because he wouldn't be able to stop thinking about the raven anyway in the loneliness of his home. He snorted. Was that place really a home anymore, had it been a home for him? Wasn't home a place where you wanted to be, where you would be comfortable?

Hesitating a little, he knocked on Sasuke's door but there was no answer. He panicked, thinking of the worst and opened the door slightly only to reveal Sasuke sitting at his desk with books and paper in front of him. He relaxed seeing that Sasuke had not done anything drastic and that he was fine.

"Do you want me to leave?" Sasuke turned around to look at him for a brief moment.

"Do you want to leave?" Naruto shook his head. Sasuke got up and went to where he was standing then pushed him against the wall and smashed their lips together. "Then don't." He said breaking the kiss. Naruto was panting slightly at the familiar kiss, it was the one that had sent him to oblivion before but it didn't work anymore. Before he didn't care who was kissing him, it didn't matter that it was Sasuke, all that matter was the feeling that sent him to oblivion, a combination of pain and pleasure that worked like a drug for him. Now however he was aware that it was Sasuke, it was always Sasuke and it had always been Sasuke, it was driving him crazy.

"Stop." Naruto turned his head so that he wouldn't look at the raven. "It doesn't work anymore."

"I won't let you go though. I won't lose you too."

"What should we do though? I'm only hurting you and I don't want that."

"I won't do it anymore if you don't want me to." Sasuke went back to his desk and Naruto went to sit on his bed. They stayed in silence for a while, Sasuke focused on his homework and Naruto contemplating the turnout in his life.

It was nice to have Sasuke around, he didn't want to lose that but he didn't want to hurt the raven either. Why did he have to me so messed up?


The rest of the weekend passed fast and Sasuke had kept his word. On Monday they went back to school as if nothing had happened and although Naruto started to have problems sleeping once he went back home Sasuke never followed him to the bathroom anymore. By Wednesday he couldn't take it anymore and remembering the bottle with sleeping pills in his pocket, he took it out and looked at it. What if he took all the pills left at once? Wouldn't that solve everyone's problems? Wouldn't that be the final oblivion? Wouldn't Sasuke be happier? He shook his head at the thought. Sasuke would start cutting again if he died. But none of them was happy at the moment so what good was there? If both of them died the pain would go away and it would all be over.

"What are you doing?" Sasuke's voice stopped his train of thought and his blue eyes looked tired at the raven.

"Nothing, just washed my face with some cold water to get me through the next class." He put the bottle in his pocket again. "This is the last week of school and Christmas is coming soon. What are you going to do on Christmas?"

"I spend Christmas with my family like everyone else." Sasuke said as if there was nothing absurd in spending a holyday in the graveyard but Naruto's heart skipped a bit as he understood the meaning of those words.

"I'll visit mom next week but they don't allow visitors during the holydays so I don't have plans. Do you want to do something together?"

"Like what? Go to the Fair? I don't like crowds."

"You can come over to my place for a few days so neither of us will be alone."

"That place gives you nightmares so you should come to mine instead." Naruto gave him a small smile then nodded.

"Do you want to skip?"

"Too tired again?"

"Something like that. Let's go to that storage room."

Naruto didn't know why he suggested that since they only used that room for their make out sessions but this time after locking the door behind him Sasuke leaned against the wall. Naruto went to the window and looked outside. It was snowing and he watched the small flakes land on the windowsill and turn into water drops. It was still too warm for them to last.

"This is awkward." He broke the silence after a while.

"Why?"

"We only came here to kiss, remember? Now it feels like there's nothing to do here."

"It's a storage room of course there is nothing to do."

"It used to mean so much to me, like a lifeline if it makes sense to you."

"You experienced oblivion here and that was your lifeline so yeah, it makes sense."

"Then why is it so empty now? Why is everything so empty? Why don't good things last?"

"Because you're afraid of them so you chase them away."

Naruto turned to Sasuke "Am I chasing you away?"

"You can't do that."

"I feel like I do though."

"I'm here aren't I?"

"Yes but it feels like you're out of my reach, like you're distant now." Sasuke went to the window to stand beside the blonde.

"I'm not out of your reach; all you have to do is raise your hand."

"That's not what I meant. I mean that it feels weird since you stopped kissing me like there's nothing left between us."

"Well it's not exactly like we had anything else going on. I'm not even sure we have anything in common except for the fact that we are broken beyond repair."

"I thought of taking the whole bottle of pills and end it all…"

"What stopped you?"

"You…you said you would stop cutting if I was here and I don't want you to hurt yourself again."

"I'm glad you didn't do it."

"But now that I'm still alive I want more, I want to be happy."

"Isn't that what everybody wants?"

"Where is it? Where is happiness?"

"I don't know where your happiness is, I guess you'll have to find it on your own. All I know is that mine is with you." Naruto's vision became blurred as warm tears formed in his eyes. Grabbing Sasuke's shirt he buried his face in Sasuke's neck to hide his tears.

Sasuke hesitated at first but as he felt his neck getting wet he wrapped his arms around the blonde. It felt awkward since he didn't know what to do. He didn't know what Naruto wanted, what he needed to feel better. He felt sad that he was not enough but he won't let go of his blonde no matter what.

Sasuke was brought back from his thoughts when Naruto brushed their lips together then kissed him gently. It was a soft long kiss that he didn't answer to and maybe that was why Naruto pulled back and looked away.

"Sorry." The blonde muttered and Sasuke let him go.

"Why?"

"I guess you didn't want that."

"You know I did."

"But you didn't kiss me back like you always did."

"Did you want me to? The last I did you asked me to stop."

Naruto sighed frustrated "I know, I just….I miss it."

"Don't worry, you'll find the right person one day. They're not all like Sakura."

"How can you stand next to me and not kiss me if you really love me?"

"I can because I love you. You made it clear that I'm not good enough for you since I'm a guy but I have my pride and I'm not going to act as a replacement." These last words stabbed Naruto like a dagger. "You know…I didn't tell you before because I was selfish and I thought I had a chance with you but there is a girl in school who likes you. She's shy and Sakura and her friends bully her sometimes but she's nice, unlike Sakura's bunch. Her name is Hinata Hyuuga, Neji's cousin."

"You want me to date her?"

"No….just give her a chance, you may find your happiness." Sasuke turned to leave but Naruto grabbed his wrist.

"But wouldn't you lose yours if I do?"

"I'll still be here, dobe."

"But that doesn't answer my question." Sasuke drew his hand from the blonde's grip.

"I don't have anything to lose because I never had your love to begin with." Sasuke left the room, leaving the key on a shelf by the door.


Christmas came fast and Sasuke went to visit his parent's graves. He hadn't seen Naruto since school ended and he assumed that the blonde took his advice and asked Hinata out. He took a single white rose from the bouquet of roses and baby breath that lay on his parent's grave and twisted it between his fingers contemplating the flower. It was beautiful, no wonder it had been his mother's favorite. It held an elegance and refinement unseen in other flowers and yet it had thorns that would hurt you if you touched it.

It was pretty much like Naruto, he had been attracted to the blonde and he touched him, then he got hurt. He knew he would too just like he knew he would when he picked this rose.

A tiny drop of blood tainted the white snow but Sasuke did nothing to stop the bleeding. It stung and he welcomed the sensation as he continued to focus on the white petals.

Naruto was like a rose…how come he didn't notice this before then the obvious occurred to him. It was because the first thing you see in a rose is the beautiful flower not the thorns. You see the flower and you forget about the thorns although you know they exist. You are attracted to it instantly and you want to touch it but then you are reminded of what you chose to forget.

"Sasuke." He wasn't expecting anyone to be in the graveyard on Christmas Eve and the only person who knew he would be here was Naruto. He turned around to look at the blonde blue eyed boy as he came closer. "You're hurt." Naruto pointed at his finger then grabbed his hand to examine the small wound closely.

"It's nothing, dobe. I touched a thorn as I took the rose out of the bouquet." Naruto licked the blood drop on his finger.

"Now why would you do that?"

"Why are you here, idiot?"

"Can you stop calling me names?"

"Only an idiot would come to the graveyard on Christmas Eve without a reason."

"I do have a reason. I came looking for you."

"Why?"

"I asked Hinata on a date."

"And you came here, on this day to tell me that?"

"Let me finish, teme. We went out a few times in these past few days and we spent quite some time together and you were right, she's nice. She doesn't mind my past or my scars. It was nice and fun until she kissed me. I tried to brush my thoughts away but every time we kissed it was the same." Sasuke burst into a fit of laughter and Naruto looked at him annoyed.

"So she's a bad kisser?"

"No, but when we kissed I could only think of you." Sasuke's smile faded and he placed the rose along with others on the grave. "I broke up with her yesterday." Naruto wrapped his arms around the slightly taller boy who still had to say something. "Why can't I get you out of my mind?"

Sasuke turned around and wrapped his arms around Naruto's waist while Naruto wrapped his around the raven's neck.

"I don't have an answer to that." Naruto brought their lips together and this time Sasuke kissed him back. He was gentle at first but after a while his suppressed lust took the better of him and he moved to bite Naruto's neck then lick, leaving a wet trail that the blonde would definitely feel in the cold air. "That's going to leave a mark."

"It's ok but I don't think we should be doing this here."

"Your place or mine?"


Their clothes were already discarded but Sasuke didn't want to rush things. He wasn't sure yet if it was the right thing to do so he wanted to test the ground. Naruto moaned as Sasuke sucked his nipple then moved to lick his belly and leave a trail of kissed on it. He shivered slightly as a cold wind blew through the opened window and his hand moved to grab Sasuke with a deep desire to make the raven feel as good as he felt but said raven grabbed his wrist when his fingers brushed the bare skin he was aiming for.

"Are you sure you don't want me to close the window?" the raven asked. "You're shivering."

"I'll burst if you do."

"You'll catch a cold if I don't."

"Just don't." Sasuke straddled Naruto and brushed the mark he had made before with his pale fingers. Blue eyes looked at him confused but Naruto said nothing.

"I wish everyone could see this mark and know that you belong to me. The mark will fade though and what about then? Where will we stand then?"

"I'm not going anywhere."

"But you said it once yourself that although I'm right beside you it feels like I'm out of reach. I feel the same about you even now."

"I'll take you in then we'll be the closest we can get."

"We've done that before and it meant nothing to you."

"Then let me show you that I'm serious this time." Naruto switched their position easily and Sasuke closed his eyes as he felt Naruto's wet tongue teasing him. Then he felt the back of the blonde's throat and his warmth enveloping him in spite of the cold air in the room and he lost his control. His hand moved in Naruto's hair with a deep desire to feel the blonde more. He was panting and he never remember himself feel so vulnerable and weak like he felt then.

"Stop." He cried and he hated how his voice had sounded. He didn't want Naruto to ever see him like that but it was too late now.

"Did I do something wrong?" The blonde asked with innocent shyness and Sasuke wondered how could he even think that he did something wrong when he turned Sasuke into an overused rag with just his mouth.

"No….it's just that…I'm at my limit. I don't want to cum in your mouth." Naruto smiled gaining his confidence once again.

"I do though." He smirked as he began to apply the raven his treatment. Sasuke's head snapped backwards as he released in Naruto's mouth. He was panting and felt weak and Naruto was still not done since he was licking him clean.

"Damn it Naruto."

"Am I still out if reach to you?"

"I can't think strait right now to have a proper conversation." Naruto giggled and blushed slightly. "Come here." Naruto moved on top of Sasuke and kissed him.

"Are you hard?" Sasuke asked with a smirk and Naruto became bright red with embarrassment. "You should take care of that, don't you think?"

"You're so mean." Naruto pouted. "Shouldn't you be doing that?"

"No, I don't think I can get up yet."

"You can use your hand."

"Too tired." Naruto moved away and positioning himself between the raven's legs he pushed himself in without a warning. Sasuke grabbed the sheets until his knuckles turned white but did not complain at the sudden pain. The blonde gave him a moment to adjust then began thrusting as his hand was mimicking the motion around the raven. "I wonder if this is what oblivion feels like."

"This is even better that that."